From da318e31340428484a0694fb5e55c3945e8b584f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: MatthewTheGlutton Date: Tue, 9 Jul 2019 02:30:51 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] More intermission text adjustments (#572) * More intermission text adjustments I still hate that "...", but I'm starting to think the aggravation is not really that itself but the use of a direct quote for "you" the player for something they never actually said. So looking at the E4 text again to see how it could be avoided, I noticed a bunch of other little weird things... the past tense on the first sentence clashing with the rest of the present tense; the "despite" doesn't really fit with the logical progression; and while I know exactly what "plump down" was intended to convey it seems a bit nonstandard. It's also missing punctuation at the end, in contrast with the other intermission texts. Here's a somewhat significant rewrite to get around those issues. I've also made smaller changes to C5 and C6 for similar reasons. * Got rid of that column of "you"s. * Spacing. --- lumps/dehacked.lmp | 32 ++++++++++++++++---------------- 1 file changed, 16 insertions(+), 16 deletions(-) diff --git a/lumps/dehacked.lmp b/lumps/dehacked.lmp index 1878422b..f0b0f85d 100644 --- a/lumps/dehacked.lmp +++ b/lumps/dehacked.lmp @@ -395,18 +395,18 @@ E3TEXT = The abomination explodes into\n\ You drop all your weapons on\n\ the ground and step on the platform,\n\ reintegrating on Double Impact. -E4TEXT = Despite fighting an army of monsters,\n\ - you managed to find a ship here.\n\ +E4TEXT = After yet another army of monsters\n\ + you manage to find a functioning ship.\n\ Looks like freedom is yours.\n\n\ - "Time to get out of here..."\n\ - you tell yourself and plump down\n\ - on the comfortable chair.\n\n\ - The ship rumbles as she wakes up.\n\ - As you lift off, you think of Earth.\n\n\ - Hopefully, AGM won't find you there.\n\ - They've got the outbreak to deal\n\ + You practically melt into the soft\n\ + pilot's seat, a luxurious welcome\n\ + as you leave this wretched rock.\n\n\ + The ship rumbles as she wakes up;\n\ + you think of Earth as she lifts off.\n\ + Hopefully, AGM won't find you there:\n\ + they've got the outbreak to deal\n\ with, so that'll give you some time.\n\n\ - Destination: Earth + Destination: Earth! # After MAP06, before MAP07: C1TEXT = You've found your way to the\n\ complex's outer storage warehouse.\n\ @@ -464,10 +464,10 @@ C4TEXT = The evil thing becomes unstable.\n\n\ C5TEXT = You step onto the machine and\n\ after a strange flash you find\n\ yourself in a rusty cage.\n\n\ - "What is this place?"\n\n\ - Before you can wonder further,\n\ - you see monsters all around\n\ - you. It's a trap.\n\n\ + What happened? Where is this?\n\n\ + Before you can wonder further\n\ + you notice that you are surrounded\n\ + by monsters. It was a trap.\n\n\ You silently bring out\n\ your gun, ready to kill. # Before MAP32 (secret level #2): @@ -476,8 +476,8 @@ C6TEXT = The world dissipitates around\n\ to find yourself inside another.\n\ As the glow of the teleporter\n\ subsides, it looks like you may\n\ - have made a wrong turn. Again.\n\n\ - "Not again."\n\n\ + have made a wrong turn.\n\n\ + Again.\n\n\ The world comes back to you.\n\ The monsters you fought before\n\ raise their weapons,\n\n\