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My Secret Life, Volume 3
by Anonymous
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<br><br>
<h1>
MY SECRET LIFE
</h1><br>
<h3>Volume Three</h3><br>
<h2>
By Anonymous
</h2><br><br>
<center>
AMSTERDAM
</center>
<center>
PRIVATELY PRINTED FOR SUBSCRIBERS. 1888
</center><br><br>
<blockquote>
<p><i>This first reprint of "My Secret Life" is for private distribution
among connoisseur collectors. It is strictly limited to four hundred
and seventy five copies, all of which have been subscribed for prior to
publication.</i></p>
</blockquote>
<br>
<br>
<hr>
<br>
<br>
<h2>Contents</h2>
<center>
<table summary="">
<tr><td>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_TOC">
DETAILED CONTENTS
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0001">
CHAPTER I.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0002">
CHAPTER II.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0003">
CHAPTER III.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0004">
CHAPTER IV.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0005">
CHAPTER V.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0006">
CHAPTER VI.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0007">
CHAPTER VII.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0008">
CHAPTER VIII.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0009">
CHAPTER IX.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0010">
CHAPTER X.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0011">
CHAPTER XL.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0012">
CHAPTER XII.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0013">
CHAPTER XIII.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0014">
CHAPTER XIV.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0015">
CHAPTER XV.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0016">
CHAPTER XVI.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0017">
CHAPTER XVII.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0018">
CHAPTER XVIII.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0019">
CHAPTER XIX.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0020">
CHAPTER XX.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0021">
CHAPTER XXI.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0022">
CHAPTER XXII.
</a></p>
<p class="toc"><a href="#2HCH0023">
CHAPTER XXIII.
</a></p>
</td></tr>
</table>
</center>
<br>
<br>
<hr>
<br>
<br>
<a name="2H_TOC"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<h2>
DETAILED CONTENTS:
</h2>
<blockquote>
CHAPTER I.&mdash;Straightened circumstances.&mdash;Promiscuous whorings.&mdash;The
<br>
garden privies.&mdash;Our neighbor's daughters.&mdash;Effects of a hard
<br>
turd.&mdash;Masturbation.&mdash;Bum-trumpeting.&mdash;Seeing and hearing too much.&mdash;A
<br>
pock-marked strumpet.&mdash;A neighbour's servant.&mdash;Don't wet inside.&mdash;-On
<br>
the road home.&mdash;Cheap amusements.&mdash;Bargains.&mdash;Watching brothels.&mdash;Cunt
<br>
in the open. Clapped again.&mdash;French letters, and effects.&mdash;Income
<br>
improved.&mdash;Piddle in the bye-streets.&mdash;An uprighter.&mdash;My pencil-case.&mdash;A
<br>
female bilker.&mdash;A savage frig.&mdash;A silk dress soiled.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER II.&mdash;Preliminary remarks.&mdash;A dress-lodger.&mdash;Lucy.&mdash;Sweet
<br>
seventeen.&mdash;An impudent demand.&mdash;A row.&mdash;The bawd.&mdash;My watch
<br>
requisitioned.&mdash;Exit barred.&mdash;Bill.&mdash;Funking.&mdash;Determination.&mdash;The
<br>
poker and window.&mdash;Vici.&mdash;Apologies.&mdash;A cautious retreat.&mdash;My
<br>
revenge.&mdash;Lucy scared away.&mdash;Brighton Bessie.&mdash;Washing by
<br>
fire-light.&mdash;Friendly intimacy.&mdash;The house in B..w Street.&mdash;Lascivious
<br>
evenings.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER III.&mdash;A change in taste.&mdash;A small cunt longed for.&mdash;Hunting
<br>
in the Strand.&mdash;Yellow-haired Kitty.&mdash;Her little companion.&mdash;Oh!
<br>
you foule.&mdash;The house in E.. t. r Street.&mdash;Double
<br>
fees.&mdash;Kitty's pleasure.&mdash;Objections to washing.&mdash;Have the other
<br>
gal.&mdash;Cleanliness.&mdash;Home occupations.&mdash;I ain't gay.&mdash;Kitty's males.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER IV.&mdash;Little Pol consents.&mdash;Arsy-versy.&mdash;Broached, and howling.
<br>
&mdash;Kitty's vocalization.&mdash;A cheap virginity.&mdash;Two hours after.&mdash;Love's
<br>
money lost.&mdash;The street-gully.&mdash;Kitty pleases. Pol tires.&mdash;Kitty's
<br>
habits.&mdash;Friendliness and frankness.&mdash;Sausage rolls.&mdash;Confessions of
<br>
lust.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER V.&mdash;Kitty's antecedents.&mdash;The fishmonger's.&mdash;Jim the shopman.
<br>
&mdash;Betty the maid.&mdash;Females in bed.&mdash;Mutual curiosity.&mdash;Letchery and
<br>
frigging.&mdash;Educated in coition.&mdash;Against the kitchen-wall.&mdash;Jim in
<br>
bed.&mdash;Betty's cunt washed out.&mdash;A look in the basin.&mdash;Cousin Grace,
<br>
and cousin Bob.&mdash;Bob on the spree.&mdash;A scuffle.&mdash;Topsy-turvy.
<br>
&mdash;Arsy-versy.&mdash;Bob's semen.&mdash;A masturbating duet.&mdash;Caught in the
<br>
act.&mdash;Kicked out.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER VI.&mdash;Sausage-rolls, and consequences.&mdash;Kitty's home.&mdash;The
<br>
little ones.&mdash;A saucy cabman.&mdash;Catamenia.&mdash;Fucking economies.&mdash;Changing
<br>
money.&mdash;Pol and the bargee.&mdash;Kit implicated.&mdash;A black eye and
<br>
bruised rump.&mdash;A little boy's cock.&mdash;Preparation for travel.&mdash;Kit's
<br>
regret.&mdash;Bessie in tears.&mdash;Amusements abroad.&mdash;Home again.&mdash;Kitty a
<br>
strumpet.&mdash;An evening at B.. w Street.&mdash;Kitty's eight months doings.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER VII.&mdash;Brighton Bessie.&mdash;Change irresistible.&mdash;Bessie
<br>
in quod.&mdash;Lewd effects.&mdash;Spooning.&mdash;Her home.&mdash;Her
<br>
cabman.&mdash;Reflexions.&mdash;Two years after.&mdash;Five years later on.&mdash;The
<br>
mouse's promenade.&mdash;Bessie disappears.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER VIII.&mdash;Washerwomen.&mdash;Matilda and Esther.&mdash;A peep over a wall.&mdash;4
<br>
Eaves dropping.&mdash;A girl's wants.&mdash;Shaking a tooleywag.&mdash;A promenade by
<br>
a barrow.&mdash;Disclosures.&mdash;A snatch and a scuffle.&mdash;An assignation.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER IX.&mdash;Returning home.&mdash;In the churchyard.&mdash;Two female
<br>
laborers.&mdash;Among the tombs.&mdash;A sudden piss.&mdash;An arse on the weeds.&mdash;Torn
<br>
trousers and a turd.&mdash;In front of the public house.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER X.&mdash;The washerwoman's lane.&mdash;An intention frustrated.&mdash;A slap on
<br>
the face.&mdash;Choice language and temper.&mdash;A dinner in the Haymarket.&mdash;The
<br>
rocking-chair.&mdash;A lucky shove.&mdash;Up, and out in a second.&mdash;A quarrel, and
<br>
flight.&mdash;An enticing laugh.&mdash;The house in O...d.n Street.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XL&mdash;Esther meets me.&mdash;Vaux-hall.&mdash;Ex-harlot Sarah.&mdash;Esther
<br>
succumbs.&mdash;Big-arsed and bandy-legged.&mdash;Periodic fucking.&mdash;Matilda
<br>
invincible.&mdash;I part with Esther.&mdash;Her fortune.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XII.&mdash;Preliminary.&mdash;My taste for beauty of form.&mdash;Sarah
<br>
Mavis.&mdash;Midday in the Quadrant.&mdash;No. 13 J..s Street.&mdash;A bargain in
<br>
the hall.&mdash;A woman with a will.&mdash;Fears about my size.
<br>
Muck.&mdash;Cold-blooded.&mdash;Tyranny.&mdash;My temper.&mdash;Submission.&mdash;A revolt.&mdash;A
<br>
half-gay lady.&mdash;Sarah watches me.&mdash;A quarrel.&mdash;Reconciliation.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XIII.&mdash;Sarah's complaisance.&mdash;Mistress Hannah.&mdash;About
<br>
Sarah.&mdash;Sexual indifference.&mdash;After dinner.&mdash;Stark naked at last.&mdash;Her
<br>
form.&mdash;The scar.&mdash;Hannah's friendship.&mdash;The baudy house
<br>
parlour.&mdash;The Guardsman.&mdash;Sarah's greed.&mdash;A change in her manner.&mdash;A
<br>
miscarriage.&mdash;Going abroad.&mdash;I am madly in love.&mdash;Sarah's history.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XIV.&mdash;Poses plastiques.&mdash;Sarah departs.&mdash;My despair.&mdash;Hannah's
<br>
comfort.&mdash;Foolscap and masturbation.&mdash;Cheap cunt.&mdash;A mulatto.&mdash;The
<br>
baudy house accounts.&mdash;Concerning Sarah.&mdash;The parlour.&mdash;The gay ladies
<br>
there.&mdash;My virtue.&mdash;Louisa Fisher.&mdash;A show of legs.&mdash;The consequence on
<br>
me.&mdash;Effect on Mrs. Z.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XV.&mdash;Louisa Fisher.&mdash;Chaffing.&mdash;Her form and fucking.&mdash;A
<br>
supper in bed.&mdash;A lascivious night.&mdash;Meeting
<br>
afterwards.&mdash;Hannah's legs.&mdash;Intruders in the bed-room.&mdash;Louisa's
<br>
voluptuousness.&mdash;Enciente.&mdash;Her husband.&mdash;Her gentleman friend.&mdash;About
<br>
herself.&mdash;Illness.&mdash;Mrs. A.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XVI.&mdash;A friend's maid-servant.&mdash;Jenny.&mdash;Initial familiarity.&mdash;A
<br>
bum pinched.&mdash;Jenny communicative.&mdash;Her young man.&mdash;An attempt, a
<br>
failure, a faint, a look and a sniff.&mdash;Restoratives.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XVII.&mdash;When are women most lewd.&mdash;Garters, money and
<br>
promises.&mdash;&mdash;About my servant.&mdash;The neckerchief. Armpits felt.&mdash;Warm
<br>
hints.&mdash;Lewd suggestions.&mdash;Baudy language.&mdash;Tickling.&mdash;Fanny
<br>
Hill.&mdash;Garters tried.&mdash;Red fingers.&mdash;Struggle, and escape.&mdash;Locked
<br>
out.&mdash;I leave.&mdash;Baudy predictions, and verification.233
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XVIII.&mdash;Fanny Hill sent to Jenny.&mdash;My next visit.&mdash;Thunder,
<br>
lightning, sherry, and lust.&mdash;A chase round a table.&mdash;The money
<br>
takes.&mdash;Tickling and micturating.&mdash;A search for Fanny Hill.&mdash;A chase
<br>
up the stairs.&mdash;In the bed-room.&mdash;Thunder, funk, and
<br>
lewdness.&mdash;Intimidation and coaxing.&mdash;Over and under.&mdash;A rapid
<br>
spender.&mdash;Virginity doubtful.&mdash;Fears, tears, and fucking.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XIX.&mdash;My soiled shirt.&mdash;Jenny's account of herself.&mdash;Fucking
<br>
and funking.&mdash;Poor John!&mdash;Of her pudenda.&mdash;Its sensitiveness.&mdash;Erotic
<br>
chat.&mdash;Startled by a caller.&mdash;Her married sister's unsatisfied
<br>
cunt.&mdash;How she prevented having children.&mdash;Doubts her husbands
<br>
fidelity.&mdash;Jenny taught the use of a French letter.&mdash;Hickery-pickery and
<br>
catamenial irregularities.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XX.&mdash;A Saturday afternoon.&mdash;Copulation interrupted.&mdash;Retreat
<br>
cut off.&mdash;Under the bed.&mdash;Enter sister.&mdash;The new dress.&mdash;Heat
<br>
and sweat.&mdash;Undressing.&mdash;Jenny's anxiety.&mdash;Sweating much,
<br>
and stripping.&mdash;Nature in its simplicity.&mdash;Nature in its
<br>
vulgarity.&mdash;Delicious peeps.&mdash;A cunt near my nose. Erotic
<br>
recklessness.&mdash;Fist-fucking.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XXI.&mdash;Further undressing.&mdash;Slippers wanted.&mdash;Toilet
<br>
operations.&mdash;The effects of hash and beer.&mdash;A windy escape.&mdash;Feeling for
<br>
the pot.&mdash;Sisters exeunt.&mdash;A crushed hat, and soiled trousers.&mdash;A narrow
<br>
escape.&mdash;My benevolent intentions towards Jenny's sister.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XXII.&mdash;The Sunday following.&mdash;Chaste calculations.&mdash;The sister
<br>
alone.&mdash;My embarrassment.&mdash;Ale fetched.&mdash;Warm conversation.&mdash;Stiffening.
<br>
&mdash;Bolder talk.&mdash;An exhibition of masculinity.&mdash;A golden promise.&mdash;Lust
<br>
creeping.&mdash;Baudy dalliance.&mdash;Cock and cunt in conjunction.
<br>
<br>CHAPTER XXIII.&mdash;Jenny's bed-room.&mdash;The money hidden.&mdash;On the bed.&mdash;Fears
<br>
of maternity.&mdash;Inspection of sex.&mdash;The use of a husband.&mdash;Another
<br>
Sunday.&mdash;Regrets and refusals.&mdash;Resistance overcome.&mdash;Jenny's
<br>
ignorance.&mdash;Her Master returns.&mdash;Difficulty in getting at Jenny.&mdash;Her
<br>
sister waylaid.&mdash;Against a fence.&mdash;Jenny's marriage, and rise in life.
<br>
</blockquote>
<br>
<br>
<hr>
<br>
<br>
<a name="2HCH0001"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<h2>
CHAPTER I.
</h2>
<pre>
Straightened circumstances.&mdash;Promiscuous whorings.&mdash;The
garden privies.&mdash;Our neighbour's daughters.&mdash;Effects of a
hard turd.&mdash;Masturbation.&mdash;Bum-trumpeting.&mdash;Seeing and
hearing too much.&mdash;A pock-marked strumpet.&mdash;A neighbour's
servant.&mdash;Don't wet inside.&mdash;On the road home.&mdash;Cheap
amusements.&mdash;Bargains.&mdash;Watching brothels.&mdash;Cunt in the
open.&mdash;Clapped again.&mdash;French letters, and effects.&mdash;Income
improved.&mdash;Piddle in the bye-streets.&mdash;An uprighter.&mdash;My
pencil-case.&mdash;A female bilker.&mdash;A savage frig.&mdash;A silk dress
soiled.
</pre>
<p>
I felt such a void, that I came to the conclusion that I had fondly
loved Mary, and missed greatly her kind, sympathetic association. For
a long time I could think of nothing but her, even when I fucked other
women, and got so miserable about her, that I rushed into indiscriminate
cheap whoring again. I had still not money for the best class of women,
and did not like baudy houses; but there was no help for it, and so
whoring I went, and largely in the Strand, for at that time in E..t.r
and C. t...e Streets there were many and nice brothels at all prices.
</p>
<p>
But I for some time abstained from women, and had wet dreams. My mind
ran constantly on Mary, and when I saw a nice girl, used to wonder if
her cunt was like Mary's, and this specially of two girls about nineteen
and twenty years of age, daughters of one of our next-door neighbours.
</p>
<p>
The privies of the houses in our terrace were built in pairs, the garden
wall divided them and partly the cess-pool which was common to the two.
I used to take pleasure in watching to see these girls go to the privy,
and although the idea of a female evacuating revolted me, yet used to
try to get to our privy when one of the girls went to theirs, and would
stand smoking just inside the passage by the back-steps of my house,
tip-toeing to catch a glance of their heads, and stopping myself from
bogging sometimes, so that I might get there at the same time. Directly
I saw a head off I followed quietly, and if the weather was quite still
we could hear footsteps in each other's gardens too well.
</p>
<p>
The cess-pool had at the time I write of just been emptied, the turds
dropping and flopping down could be heard, it was not nice, but it did
not shock me. I liked to hear the girls' piddle splashing, and used to
push my prick back, and sit back on the seat, so that my piddle might
drop straight, and make much noise. It pleased me to hear the joint
rattle and splash we made if we pissed at the same time. I did this so
constantly, that I could tell which girl was there, for the piddle of
one always made twice as much splash as the other's. Up would stand my
prick, and often I could not piss for its stiffness, directly I heard
the girls splashing.
</p>
<p>
One day I had a hardish motion, and was randy that morning almost to
pain. One of the girls was there. I strained, my cock got stiff, and
began to throb violently, and shot out its spunk as I strained. I
went back to the house, and just entering it saw the other daughter
go towards the privy. Back I went and sitting down frigged myself as I
heard her evacuations drop, so randy and charged with sperm was I.
</p>
<p>
After that I occasionally frigged myself at the privy, and used to
picture to myself the girls sitting there, their clothes up round
their rumps, and slightly up in front showing their limbs, and piddle
squirting, but I always thought of both girls as having cunts like
Mary's. After a time we knew a little of the girls, and when talking to
them I used to think of the same thing. The idea used to fascinate me,
and they used to say (I am told), that I was a strange man, for I always
stared at them as if I had never seen a woman before. They little knew
what was in my mind when I was staring.
</p>
<p>
Just after the emptying I could not only see their wax as it fell to the
bottom, but the paper with which they wiped their bums, and could hear
them fart. Sometimes the two came together. One day by a sudden whim
I let a fart as loud as I could, and heard a suppressed titter, they I
think never knew I could hear, for usually I tried to be as silent as
possible. I never coughed when there, and used to pull open my arse-hole
to lessen the noise of my trumpet, and singular as it may seem did this
out of a feeling of delicacy. Soon the cess-pool was half-filled, with
water, and I could only indistinctly hear. Then I grew tired of the
game, and again let off my sperm up cunts instead of spilling it on the
privy-floor, for sorrow always came over me as I saw it on the floor. A
few months after this I took a dislike to the girls through thinking of
what I had seen and heard of them, it seemed to shock my sentiment of
the beauty and delicacy of a woman.
</p>
<p>
A confused number of random whorings and miscellaneous fuckings took
place about this time, I cannot tell to a month or two, but it began
directly after Mary had gone. I tell of one or two of them.
</p>
<p>
At the back of the Lowther Arcade one night I took a poor little girl
seemingly about sixteen years old to a house. She had a nice but thin
form, and was as white as driven snow. When I had had her, I wanted to
see her face more clearly, but she held a handkerchief to it, and half
turned it away from the light, her privates she allowed to be inspected
as I liked.
</p>
<p>
She was marked badly with the small-pox, and was nevertheless handsome,
but with that sad expression which the pock-marks often give. Gents did
not like it, she said. It was a dreadfully sloppy, snowy night. "Don't
go yet", said she, "it is so warm here." So I sat a while feeling her
quim and talking. "Do me again, I want it now, I did not when you did
it before." So we fucked again. "Do I please you?" said the girl putting
her hand to my face. "Yes my dear." "Will you see me again?&mdash;do." I was
always careful about promising that, and hesitated; but at length said
yes. Again I rose to go, again the girl asked me to stay, it was so
warm. "Pay the woman again and say you are going to stay till ten
o'clock." There was such simplicity about her that I consented. The woman
put coals on the fire, and we sat by it warming ourselves.
</p>
<p>
After a time she said, "I don't think you like me." "Why?" "Because you
don't feel me about." I laughed, and said I had been feeling her. Time
ran on. "Won't you do it again?" "I can't dear." "Let me try to make you."
"You may, but I can't." She came to me, knelt down, played funnily,
but awkwardly with my cock till it stiffened, and again we fucked.
"You won't see me again, though you say you will." "Why not?" asked I
wondering at her sad manner. "They all say they will, but they never
do,&mdash;it's the small-pox marks they can't bear, I know it is,&mdash;I'm tired
of this life." Then suddenly she laughed and said she was only joking.
</p>
<p>
I never did see her again. Such a young, white-fleshed girl, and so fond
of the cock, or else she had had but little of it, I have rarely met
with. She said she had only been out two months. "The other girls tell
me what to do with men, and the old woman where I live tells me; but I
always does what a gentleman asks me, I can't do more, can I?" said she.
"Other gals say they have regular friends, I haven't." I shall never
forget that poor little girl.
</p>
<p>
On a cold evening a week or two after this, I saw a shortish, dark-eyed
girl going along the Strand. She walked slowly, and looked in at almost
every shop. I could not make up my mind if she were gay or not. She was
warmly wrapped up, her style that of a well-to-do servant. I passed and
repassed her, looked her in the face; her eyes met mine and dropped,
then she stopped and looked round several times after unmistakeable
gay women as they passed her, then went on again. Opposite the Adelphi
she paused and looked at the theatre for a long time, a gentleman spoke
to her, and seemed to importune her, she took no notice of him, and he
left her. After walking on for a minute quickly she loitered and looked
in the shops again.
</p>
<p>
Near Exeter Hall my cock which was in want of relief giving me
impudence, and liking her looks I spoke to her about the things in the
windows. At first I got no reply, and she walked on. "Come with me, and
I'll give you a sovereign." "You can buy it then." What it was I don't
recollect. She seemed uneasy and wavering, yet made no reply. I repeated
my offer (it was just then money beyond my means, but I had hot desire
on me). She looked up the street in both directions, and asked, "Will
it be far?" I took her at the instant for a sly gay one. "You know I am
sure, it's close bye." "It's getting late, I'm in a hurry." Looking both
ways quickly and uneasily she placed her arm in mine, and hanging her
head down pressed close to me. We walked quickly, and soon were in a
snug room in a house at the back of Exeter Hall.
</p>
<p>
"This is not a public-house", said she looking round. "No, but you can
have a drink if you like." "A little warm brandy and water then." I
ordered it. "Take off your bonnet and cloak." She hesitated. "Tell me
the exact time." I did, and then she took them off, sat down, and soon
sipped brandy and water looking at me. Thought I, "You must be a servant
after all."
</p>
<p>
I began to caress her, and got my hand on her thighs asking her to come
to the bed. "I must go soon, let me go soon." "I will, but let me see
your legs, and feel them." She let me pull the clothes up to her knees,
then pushed away my hand but I thrust one up, and just felt the cunt.
She gave me a shove, and nearly pushed me over, for I had dropped on to
my knees, a favorite attitude of mine at such times.
</p>
<p>
Savagely I got up. "Don't be a fool; if you mean to let me do it come
to the bed." She hesitated. "Give me the money first." "Oh!" thought
I, "she is a whore diseased, and a bilk," so I refused. "You really will
give it to me, won't you?" "Of course, but I'm not to be done that way."
Then I got her on to the bed, and threw up her clothes. She resisted.
"What do you take me for?" "Why a whore", said I savagely. It was a word
I rarely used <i>of</i> a woman, still rarer <i>to</i> a woman. She pushed my hand
angrily away and sat up.
</p>
<p>
"I am not, and wish I had not come here, and would not, only I want
money for my poor mother, I thought you a gentleman,&mdash;I'm not the sort
of a woman you say, I'm a servant, I am indeed." "Well if you are, you
have been fucked." "That's neither here nor there, but I'm not what you
call me",&mdash;and she pouted. "Lay down dear,&mdash;let's fuck if you mean it,
if not let's go,&mdash;let me feel you, and you feel me." I pulled her back
on to the bed, laying down by the side of her, and put my prick into
her hand. It was persuasive, for soon I was having that delicious rub,
probe, and twiddle. Then I got a sight of all but the cunt itself, the
inspection of that she resisted. A fine pair of limbs, a fat backside,
lots of hair on her split I could feel. My friction told, she began
grasping my prick like a vise,&mdash;she was going to spend.
</p>
<p>
Nice to her that, but I wanted my pleasure. Again I got savage. At
length quietly, and feeling my prick all the time she said, "Promise me
something." "What?" "Don't you wet inside if I let you." I promised,
and turning on to her belly fucked her, and forgot my promise, even if
I ever meant to keep it. We were soon near the crisis.
"Don't&mdash;now,&mdash;oh!&mdash;wet."
</p>
<p>
"No dear." "T&mdash;aake&mdash;care." "I'll pull it out just as it comes dear."
"Don't&mdash;we&mdash;wet, oh!&mdash;ah!&mdash;wet", she gasped out as clutching her arse my
prick went fiercely up her, and spent every drop against her womb-tube,
my spend made doubly pleasurable, because she did not wish it in her
cunt.
</p>
<p>
Said she with a long-drawn sigh, "You've done it all inside,&mdash;you should
not." "I could not help it, you are so charming, I could not pull it
out and make your clothes or bum wet", said I ramming on, and keeping my
prick tight up her lubricated cunt, "Let me get up." "Not yet." "Oh!
do, I'm in a hurry." "Lay still dear." "No, I'm in such a hurry,&mdash;what
o'clock is it?&mdash;do tell me what o'clock it is,&mdash;it will make me lose my
place if I'm very late."
</p>
<p>
I uncunted, told her the time, and she washed her cunt. "Let us do it
again." She was wanting it. "I've such a long way to go." "Where?" She
told me, and it was on my way home. "I will take you home in a cab." On
the bed she got, I overcame her scruples, kissed her knees, her thighs,
all the way up to her cunt. The thighs opened widely, a second's
inspection of a cunt at that time of my life made me think of immediate
pleasure, and after promising not to wet in her again, she reminding me
of that, till she lost all care or heed in her pleasures. I spent up her
as before.
</p>
<p>
We went home in a cab, and felt each other all the way, she said she
was keeping her mother who was poor, she feared dying. At the end of the
road she got out begging me not to follow her. I did not, and never saw
her again. She had hazel eyes, spoke with a country accent, and I quite
believe was a servant.
</p>
<p>
Although soon after this a little better off, I had difficulty in
keeping out of debt, and the cost of amatory amusements prevented my
having women as often as I otherwise should have done. I used to try the
cheap women at times, and often successfully. Would walk backwards and
forwards between Temple-Bar and Charing Cross for hours, looking at the
women, thinking which I should like, and whether I could afford one.
Sometimes I would follow the same woman, stop when she stopped if a man
spoke to her, cross over, and wait till she moved off by herself, or if
with the man, would follow them to a brothel, return to watch for her
coming out, and wait 'till she did so. This pleased me much.
</p>
<p>
Then I began to feel women in the streets; they frequently came out
of the E.. t. r Street-houses, and round by the side-entrance to
Exeter-Hall. That end of the street then was all but dark.
</p>
<p>
Stopping a woman. This was a frequent dialogue. "A nice night dear."
"Yes." "Been taking a walk?" "Yes." "Been to piddle?" "Yes." They
usually when I knew they had come out of a house, said they had been to
piddle if I asked them. "A shilling to feel your cunt." "All right, give
it me." With the left hand I gave the shilling with the right I fingered
their quims. "Open your legs dear,&mdash;a little wider,&mdash;let me feel
up,&mdash;have you been fucked to-night?" "No." It was always no. I delighted
in hearing them tell that lie. "Come with me." "How much?" "Give me a
sovereign." "No." "Ten shillings then." "I can't afford more than five
shillings." "No, not for that"; but they more often said yes. Sometimes
I went with them, more frequently not. The lesson I learned was that
most woman denied that they had fucked more recently than the day
before, (it was always the day before), and that a little bargaining
reduced the price of their pleasures.
</p>
<p>
If intending to have a poke I waited for a girl known by sight, and then
often could not find her, then I saw those so dressed that I could not
offer them a small sum. On other nights I went up to the girl with the
fattest legs, and made advances. In this way I shagged many of all sorts
and sizes, many of them poor creatures, others plump, fine, strong,
healthy women, whom I was surprised took the small sum for their
professional exertions. The end of this promiscuity was that again I
took the clap, which laid me up some weeks, and made it again needful to
open my piss-pipe by surgical tubes.
</p>
<p>
Then I was timid, used French letters, and took to carrying them in my
purse again, but always hated them. Often my cock stiff as a boring-iron
would shrink directly the wet gut touched it, and compelled me to frig
up to near the crisis before I could insert it in the skin. Sometimes it
would not stiffen completely till up the women. I used to drop my tool
in a state of partial rigidity into the letter, then thumb it slowly up
the lady's orifice; then the warmth, the clip, the buttocks wagging, and
the look at the belly and thighs between which I was working brought
it to the proper stiffness. I usually had the ladies at the side of the
bed, when wearing these cundums.
</p>
<p>
Sometimes my passions overcame my prudence, and a fair lady for her
favors got her price. Then I was filled with regrets, and had to content
myself with a feel for some time, or wait days till I could afford the
full gratification of my senses with another woman, because I had not
the money. Then I fell again on my five shilling offers. About this
cunt-feeling there was something very peculiar in me: unless I liked the
look of the woman I did not like to feel up her cunt, and after I had
been groping used to spit on my fingers, and rub them dry, and the smell
off of them on to my handkerchief.
</p>
<p>
Some little time after my clap however I came into a better income
through the death of a relative. It was small, but made a difference
to me of great importance. I spent it all on myself, that is to say on
cunt, and although some of my country relatives must have known I had
come into the property, those most interested in knowing it I believe
never did. I now longed for nice women whom I could talk and spend the
money with. The rapid business-like fucking in the baudy houses was
not to my taste, I had scarcely gone to the Argyle Rooms, then not many
years opened, for fear that my taste for nicety of manner and something
more than mere cunt might lead me into an expenditure still far beyond
my means.
</p>
<p>
It used to wound my pride to hear a woman jeer at my offer, or say,
"What the devil do you take me for", or walk away wagging her rump with
offended dignity when she heard five shillings named, or say she would
frig me for the money. Now I could offer more I was more happy in my
mind; but there are a few adventures to be told before the time when an
easier pocket enabled me to have better female companions.
</p>
<p>
The angle of the street named as leading out of the Strand was dark of
a night and a favorite place for doxies to go to relieve their bladders.
The police took no notice of such trifles, provided it was not done in
the greater thoroughfares (although I have seen at night women do it
openly in the gutters in the Strand), in the particular street I have
seen them pissing almost in rows, yet they mostly went in twos to do
that job, for a woman likes a screen, one usually standing up till the
other has finished, and then taking her turn. Indeed the pissing in all
bye-streets of the Strand was continuous, for although the population
of London was only half what it now is, the number of gay ladies seemed
double there. The theatre-side of the street from Trafalgar-Square to
Temple-Bar was nightly for some hours one large flock of them, and there
was not a street or court on the whole line named, and on both sides of
the Strand in which there was not a baudy house. I have been in a dozen.
</p>
<p>
I used to prowl about to see the girls pissing, and when I had cheek
enough, stand and piss by the side of them. That delighted me much.
One night I saw two women go up a court, one directly squatted, and I
followed. When one had done I asked her to let me feel her. She did.
Randy but poor that night the feel of her wet cunt made me reckless. As
I gave her a shilling I remarked how I should like to have her, but that
I had but five shillings to give.
</p>
<p>
"You won't have me for five shillings, but you will get some one who
will,&mdash;you have lots of cheek to offer it." "I am sorry, but I can't
help it if I have not more." Had I not ten shillings? No, only enough
for the room. All this time I was feeling her. Then her hand went
outside my trousers, feeling at my cock. I slipped it out, she took it
in her hand. "Have you not been a long time in the Strand to-night?"
said she. I had, and wanted a woman, only I had so little money. I did
not know the form or face of this woman, for we were in the darkest
place, and the night was dark and cold, but I felt that she had a silk
dress on, lots of hair on her cunt, and a large arse. "You may do it
here for five shillings", said she. I had never done it in the open in
such a place, but consented. Groping in my pocket I found and gave the
money, and then she stepped away from me,&mdash;a bilk I thought.
</p>
<p>
It was not so. She went up to the other woman who was standing at the
corner, and telling her to look out for the police, came back to me,
and again placing her back up against the wall, I fucked her. "Wasn't it
nice!" said she dropping her petticoats. And then we stood and talked.
</p>
<p>
"Stand a drink", said she, "you've got some silver." I did not mind, and
was curious to see her. She called her friend, and all three went to a
public-house, the lady with all my emission in her cunt. I found she was
a full-grown woman of about thirty with dark hair, dark eyes, and with
a bold expression in them. We had mulled port-wine, then something else,
and stood drinking till all my money was gone. Her companion left us
saying she had not gained a farthing that night, and must do so.
</p>
<p>
My woman then got pleasanter, and wanted more liquor, my money was gone,
but I had a pencil-case, and asked the bar-man if he would lend me a few
shillings on it. He did, and I then spent more on liquor, then we went
out together again into the cold street; she pissed, saying the cold and
the liquor had made her leaky. "I wish you would let me again", said I.
Well she would, and up against a wall again we fucked heartily. With my
spunk in her we walked together into the Strand. She said she would like
to see me again, but I never did. Whilst fucking her the second time she
shoved her tongue almost down my throat, and breathed so hard. I never
fucked a woman in the street who did so, either before or since. A few
nights after I got my pencil-case back from the beer-man.
</p>
<p>
One night a nice, strong-built woman about thirty years of age
seemingly, took my five shillings, and went to a house with me. She was
dressed in black silk, neat but shabby. She sat down on a chair, and
pulling up her clothes rearranged both her garters, showing what I
expected, and what I had engaged her for; a pair of fat legs. Then down
went her clothes. I began feeling her, she pushed her bum back on
the chair, but her thighs and the hairy ornaments I could feel. I
was awfully randy, my prick was raging. "Let's feel <i>you</i>", said she.
Willingly I let her grasp it, then she moved her arse forward, and I had
the pleasure of just feeling a moist clitoris from which I was diverted
by a painful squeeze she gave my prick. She was squeezing no doubt to
see if I had any ailment. The effect of the squeeze, which made me call
out, was to make me mad with randiness. "Take off your things, and let
me do it." "Where is the five shillings?" I placed them in her hands,
she pocketed them, and got up. Lifting her petticoats I pressed her
towards the bed where she was standing when she had spoken, but she
pushed down her petticoats, and moved away.
</p>
<p>
"Not likely I'm going to take off my things for five shillings",
said she as the money slipped down into her pocket, "give me fifteen
shillings more, and I will,&mdash;I'm a fine-built woman",&mdash;and she pulled
her clothes clean up to her waist, turned round like a tetotum, and
after showing both arse and belly, slowly dropped her clothes again.
</p>
<p>
"Come to the side of the bed." "No I shan't, you've had a feel for five
shillings, give me fifteen shillings more, and I'll give you pleasure I
know,&mdash;I'll do all you want me."
</p>
<p>
"I can't." "Then I can't." I had not a pound in my pocket, but if I had,
am sure indeed I should have given it to her, but I could not. "Give me
ten shillings, and I'll pay for the room then", said she. "I didn't know
what house I was at, but generally they asked at those places the price
of the room first.
</p>
<p>
"Just as you like", though I was dying for a fuck. "Then I will go." "I
have paid you,&mdash;if you choose to bilk me I can't help it." "I don't want
to bilk you, but I never let a man have me for five shillings, and I
never will,&mdash;give me five shillings more."
</p>
<p>
"Let me feel you, if you won't let me poke you." "You may do that."
Leaning her bum against the side of the bed, I began groping; she
complaisantly moving one leg up on to a chair, so as to open her thighs
well, got hold of my prick, and began frigging it. "Give me another
five shillings", said she coaxingly, and under the influence of the
masturbating process I gave it to her. She gave my penis the most
delicate titillation whilst I was searching in my pocket for the money,
but she would not let me after she had got the five shillings. She went
on frigging me, repeating that she never let any one have her unless she
had a pound given her.
</p>
<p>
I was annoyed, and hated frigging. Here was a well-formed woman, a cunt
at hand, and yet I was to spunk out on to the floor, was being made a
fool of. Stopping I said, "You don't mean to let me, whatever I give
you." "Yes I do, for a sovereign." "Frig me then." She took my tool in
her hand, and frigged. "Let me spend against your cunt." "No." "Against
your thighs." "No." "Oh!&mdash;ah!" Finding it was coming she left off.
"Give me five shillings, and I will", said she, but I would not, began
frigging myself, and spite of her pushed one hand up on to her thighs,
and frigged away with the other. "Take care of my dress", said she. The
savage delight of doing what she wished me not, came over me. Turning
my prick I shot my sperm copiously over her silk dress, and finished
by flinging from my fingers what remained of it towards her face.
"You damned dirty beast, you did it on purpose." "Serve you right, you
cheating whore", said I putting on my hat, and leaving her with a towel
wiping off my sperm, and cursing me as she did it. I don't know when I
felt so spiteful against a woman as I did against her. My discharge was
quick and copious, I saw it on her waist downwards. I have been bilked
before and since, but have mostly pardoned the woman, for sometimes I
have thought the poor things had their courses on, or some ailment or
deformity; but I still seem to hate this one.
</p>
<p>
I may add that at the time these doings took place there were but three
theatres in the Strand.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0002"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER II.
</h2>
<pre>
Preliminary remarks.&mdash;A dress-lodger.&mdash;Lucy.&mdash;Sweet
seventeen.&mdash;An impudent demand.&mdash;A row.&mdash;The bawd.&mdash;My watch
requisitioned.&mdash;Exit barred.&mdash;Bill.&mdash;Funking.&mdash;
Determination.&mdash;The poker and window.&mdash;Vice.&mdash;Apologies.&mdash;A
cautious retreat.&mdash;My revenge.&mdash;Lucy scared away.&mdash;Brighton
Bessie.&mdash;Washing by fire-light.&mdash;Friendly intimacy.&mdash;The
house in B.w Street.&mdash;Lascivious evenings.
</pre>
<p>
I have read through the two volumes in print. There are typographical
errors, the names of women and places are once or twice wrongly given
or spelt, but the context corrects that, and it matters not. What is
important is; that owing to the brevity with which some occurrences are
told, they almost seem improbable; this is the result of not printing my
narrative all through exactly as I wrote it. In the manuscript, items of
conversation, and numerous details of the behaviour of myself and female
partners in my amours, were written down just as they occurred, and
showed how the climax was reached; how little by little man and woman
inclined to each other, how one pressed, and the other yielded, how from
modest talk and chaste kisses our chastity gradually was lost, how by
touch and sighs and yielding to the swooning lust which coursed stronger
and stronger through our veins, our genitals inflamed, swollen, and
sweating, drove us to contact with each other, till the carnal coupling
ensued, and prick and cunt revelling and wallowing in each other's
juices, drowned both wants and senses in voluptuous oblivion.
</p>
<p>
These details also gave studies of character, and specially of my own
character, and as I now read the narratives in print after the lapse of
so many years they seem to me to be needed to explain myself, even to
myself. It is too late. The manuscript is burnt, that printed in its
stead must be taken as truth or not, as scepticism or faith prevails in
the reader, if ever there be one but myself.
</p>
<p>
Nor can I less abbreviate even now and in the future I fear, for the
full narrative would entail too much expense in printing, and prolong
the time of completion. Yet what pleasure I had in the wordy veracities
as I wrote them, childish, fantastic, ludicrous, as some of the doings
and sayings now seem! How unlike the doings of the couples in erotic
books which I since have read, books written with no other object but to
stimulate the passions,&mdash;no object that of mine in writing this.
</p>
<p>
The narratives were written in the present tense, but in print have been
altered to the past, which gives them an air of a studied composition,
written as a man might write a novel; but the writing extended over well
nigh forty years, and barely a word has been altered, excepting those
due to omissions.
</p>
<p>
There are however a few remarks added here and there to explain the
circumstances and connect the incidents; these are needful to explain
lapses of time, and to show the continuity of the history, for all the
amours were written separately; yet often I had two or three women in
hand at the same period. So in arranging them chronologically a few
additions and observations were needful to explain, and these are of
them.
</p>
<p>
One muddy night in the Strand there was an exceedingly well-dressed and
very short-petticoated (they all wore them then) girl of about seventeen
years of age; her legs especially pleased me, they were so plump and
neat, and her feet so well shod. After my offer had been accepted,
we went to a house in a court just by Drury-Lane Theatre, and to a
top-floor front-room very handsomely furnished. She lived there, and
was a dress-lodger as I found afterwards. She was beautifully clean,
had fine linen, and was no sham in any way; a fresh, strong, plump,
well-made young girl with lovely firm breasts, and a small quantity of
brown hair on her cunt. Cunt and breasts looked only seventeen years,
backside, thighs, arms, calves looked twenty. She stripped, and with but
one feel and a stretch of her pretty cunt-lips, and a moment's glance I
plugged her, and recollect now my enjoyment of her. Then I dressed,
and so did she. Though so young, she was a well trained whore, had much
pleased me by her freedom in manner, even to the way in which she washed
her cunt and pissed after her fuck. I was not with her I should say
twenty minutes if so long; my lust for her had been so strong.
</p>
<p>
"What's this?" said she disdainfully as I gave her half-a-sovereign.
"What I promised you." "Oh! no you did not, I expect five pounds." I
expostulated. "Look at this room, look at my dress,&mdash;do you expect me to
let a man come here with me for ten shillings?" "Its all I promised, had
you refused I should not have come with you." Then I put on my hat, and
moved towards the door; she placed her back against it. "You don't go
out of here till you give me three sovereigns." It must be added that I
had paid for the room what appeared to me then a large sum.
</p>
<p>
I was in for a row, had not as much as two pounds about me, and was
fearful of exposure, just then a row in a baudy house would have injured
me if known.
</p>
<p>
I gave her ten shillings more, she took it, but refused to let me go,
she did not believe I had so little money,&mdash;I was a gentleman, let me
behave as such,&mdash;no I should not go till I gave her what she asked. I
tried to pull her from the door, but could not, then sat down on the
chair, saying that if I must wait, why so I must.
</p>
<p>
She tried coaxing, I told her I was entitled to another fuck for
my other ten shillings. Well I might if I gave her another twenty
shillings. I put hands up her petticoats, and fingers up her quim,
thinking she was giving way,&mdash;but no. I had forgotten my fears in my
randiness which came on again by fumbling about her rump and cunt, and
pulled out my prick stiff again. She bent over me, and gave it two or
three frigs. That so excited me, that verily I believe I should have
given her the money if I had had it, for the pleasure of having her
again; but putting my hand into my trousers, found silver only to
something like a pound in value, and told her that. Then losing her
gentility she said, "I'm damned if you do go, you bugger, till you have
paid me properly."
</p>
<p>
Fear of exposure came over me, but I hid it, and sitting down looked at
her as she stood against the door in her petticoats, her handsome limbs
showing bright in their silks, and her plump breasts just squeezing the
bubbies over the top of the stays. Laying hold of my tool I pulled it
out. "Stand there as long as you like, you look lovely,&mdash;as you won't
let me fuck you, I'll frig myself." Suiting the action to the word I
began fist-fucking, not meaning however to finish so. It was but chaff,
for indeed I was funky.
</p>
<p>
She stood looking till I said, "I'm coming,&mdash;I'm spending,&mdash;lift up
your petticoats, and let me see your cunt." Then unlocking the door and
opening it quickly she bawled out, "Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Smith, come up,
here's a bilk, come up quickly."
</p>
<p>
I was now near spending as may be guessed, but buttoning up, went
towards the door. She heard me, turned round, came in, shut the door,
and stood with her back to it till a woman came in; and then she told
her I had given her ten shillings.
</p>
<p>
The woman was incensed, was I a gent? she was sure I was, why not pay
properly then?&mdash;a beautiful young girl like that,&mdash;just out,&mdash;look at
her shape, and her face,&mdash;she had written to a dozen gents who knew her
house, and they had all come to see this beauty,&mdash;all had given her five
pounds, some ten pounds, they were so delighted with her,&mdash;and much of
the same talk. The girl began to whimper, saying she never had been so
insulted in her life before.
</p>
<p>
I told her that I had only promised ten shillings, but had given more;
that the girl was certainly beautiful, and the room elegant; but I was
poor, and would not have come at all had I known the cost. I had not the
money, and therefore could not pay. Then the bawd's tone changed. She
was not going to have the poor girl insulted in that manner, she knew
better about my means of paying, and I should not go till I paid more.
</p>
<p>
We went on wrangling until the bawd said, "Well if you have not money
give us your watch and chain, we will pawn it, and give you the ticket,
and you can get it out of pawn."
</p>
<p>
I had hidden my watch,&mdash;nearly always did so then when I went with
whores whom I did not know,&mdash;but saw in this a threat, and was getting
more funky, yet determined to resist whatever came of it; so said I had
no watch, and if I had, that I would see her damned first, before I gave
it up. "Oh! won't you", said she, "we will see if you won't,&mdash;we don't
allow a poor girl to be robbed by chaps like you in our house,&mdash;call up
Bill", said she to the girl. I saw that a bully was about to be let on
me, and my heart beat hard and fast; but give up my watch I made up my
mind I would not unless they murdered me. I had an undefined suspicion
that they would illtreat and rob me, and prepared for the worst,&mdash;my
pluck got up then.
</p>
<p>
But fear of exposure was before me. "Look", said I, "I have no watch,
I have given her twenty shillings, here is every farthing I have about
me", and emptied my purse (there was but a shilling or two in it)
before them, and put all the money I had loose in my pocket on to the
chimney-piece. There was I think about seventeen shillings in all.
"Look it is every farthing I have,&mdash;you may have that you damned
thieves,&mdash;take it and let me go,&mdash;see my pockets are empty",&mdash;and I
turned them inside out.
</p>
<p>
"You've got more", said she, "be a gent, give her three pounds, she
never has less,&mdash;look at her, poor thing!" The girl stood whimpering,
she and the woman stood with their backs to the door, I with my back to
the two windows of the room which looked out on to the public court; the
fire-place was between us, the foot of the bed towards it; the fire was
burning brightly, the room was quite light. There they stood, the
clean, fresh, wholesome-looking lass, and besides her a shortish, thick,
hooked-nosed, tawney-colored, evil-looking woman,&mdash;the bawd,&mdash;she looked
like a bilious Jewess.
</p>
<p>
The woman kept repeating this, for a minute or two. I refused to give
any more, and grew collected. "Come now, what are you going to do?" said
the woman, "you are wasting all her evening." I took up half-a-crown
off the mantle-shelf, and pushing the rest along it, "I must keep this",
said I, "but take all the rest, I have no more,&mdash;I have no watch,&mdash;let
me go." The woman laughed sneeringly, and did not touch the money,
turned round, opened the door, and called out "Bill, Bill, come up."
"Halloh!" said a loud male voice from below.
</p>
<p>
I turned round, and with a violent pull, tore aside the red
window-curtains, and throwing up the window, and putting my head
out beneath the white blind, I screamed out,
"Police!&mdash;police!&mdash;murder!&mdash;murder!&mdash;police!&mdash;police!"
</p>
<p>
Beneath the very window stalked a policeman; heard me he must, the whole
alley must have heard me, but the policeman took no notice, and stalking
on turned round the corner out of sight. Then the fear came over me
that he was bribed, I feared they might be coming behind me, and turned
round; the woman was close to me, the girl at her back. "What are you
doing?" yelled the woman, "what are you kicking up a row for?&mdash;shut
the window,&mdash;go if you want, who is keeping you?&mdash;this is a respectable
house, this is."
</p>
<p>
A tumult of ideas and fears rushed through my mind, I feared Bill was
close at hand, and pushing the woman back with one hand I seized the
poker with the right one. "Keep back, or I will smash you", said I
flourishing it, and again I shouted out, "Police!&mdash;police!" but not
with my head out of the window this time.
</p>
<p>
The old woman backed and shut the door again, the young one came
forwards speaking in a hurried tone, the old one dropped her voice to
a whine; she did not want to keep me if I wanted to go. "Shut the
window,&mdash;let her shut it,&mdash;give the poor girl two pounds then, and go."
Her house was a respectable house, the police knew it, why did I come to
such a house if I had no money? The girl cried, I blustered, swore, and
all three were speaking at the same time for two or three minutes.
</p>
<p>
"Let me go." "Who stops you?" said the old woman, "give me the money."
"Open the door, and go out first then." "I shan't", said the woman with
a snap and a look like a demon. I turned round, and with the poker made
a smash at the window. The curtains had swung, the white blind was down,
but I heard the glass shiver and crash, a shout of "Hulloh!" from some
one in the court. I raised the poker again against the looking-glass.
"Get out, or I'll smash this, and you, and everything else in the room",
striking a chair violently, and breaking it. I now did not care what
I did, but was determined to fight Bill, or any one else, and not be
robbed.
</p>
<p>
The women were cowed, they cried out, Pray drop the poker,&mdash;they
meant no harm,&mdash;the girl always had three pounds at least,&mdash;if I would
not,&mdash;why I would not,&mdash;they never have had such a row in the house
before,&mdash;to have her twice, and give her ten shillings was shameful. "A
lie you bloody bawd, I have only had her once, and she has had twenty
shillings." "Well, there's a good gentleman, go, and don't make a noise
as you go downstairs,&mdash;look at her, poor thing, how you have frightened
her,&mdash;she will let you have her again, if you like,&mdash;won't you
Lucy?"&mdash;"well come along then, but don't make a row,&mdash;leave the poker,
&mdash;what do you want that for?" whined the woman. I would not relinquish
the poker, they should go out first. The woman went, the girl waited
behind to put on her frock. As she did so the little bitch lifted her
petticoats to her thighs, showed her cunt, jerked her belly, winked and
nodded her head in the direction of the old woman. I did not know nor
heed what she meant by her nod and wink. "Get out,&mdash;get on,&mdash;get out,&mdash;I
won't have you behind me." She made a farting noise with her mouth, and
dropping her clothes went out. I followed her, looked at the doors on
each landing as I passed, fearing some one might come out behind me, and
edged downstairs sideways, looking both up and down. One door slightly
opened and closed again; at the street-door the old woman said she was
so sorry, it was all a mistake, and hoped to see me again. My blood
was roused, I would have smashed woman or man who stood in my way, and
eyeing the girl said, "Look at me well, if you meet me in the Strand
again, cut away at once, get out of my sight, or I'll give you in
charge for annoying me, or robbing me, you bloody bitch, look out for
yourself." Then dropping the poker on the mat I went out, glad enough to
be away from the den.
</p>
<p>
About a fortnight afterwards I saw the girl in the Strand, followed her
for a quarter of an hour, saw her speak to various men, saw that an old,
common, low servant followed her at a distance, occasionally stopping
to speak with her, and turning up a street for that purpose. There was
a fascination about looking at the girl; she was showily but handsomely
dressed, her legs looked lovely. I longed to fuck her again, but without
any intention of gratifying my lust, for I loathed her whilst lusting
for her. She turned up C. t...e Street, stood over the gutter and pissed
standing, the old woman talking to her and partly hiding her whilst
she emptied her bladder. I waited till she had done. It was only about
half-past nine o'clock.
</p>
<p>
She came towards me thinking I wanted her. I moved back close to a lamp,
and raised my hat. "Look at me you damned whore, you attempted to rob me
the other night, go out of the Strand, or I'll tell the next policeman
you have picked my pocket." She turned on her heels and bolted without
uttering a word, the old woman after her, cursing.
</p>
<p>
A month or two afterwards I saw her again, she was speaking to a group
of gay women. Said I, "That bitch attempted to rob me the other night at
&mdash;&mdash;&mdash; Court." "It's a lie", said she, but again turned round, and ran
up a side-street as fast as she could. I don't recollect seeing her
afterwards.
</p>
<p>
I often used to go and look at the house when that way, it was such a
needy-looking house outside with a narrow steep staircase starting close
to the street-door. No one would have imagined it was so handsomely
furnished inside (although I only saw the top-room). Two or three years
afterwards there was a row there, a man tumbled down the stairs (or
was pitched down), and was picked up dead. The owner of the house was
transported. I don't know if it was the same man who was called Bill,
but suspect it was, and that many a visitor had been bullied out of his
money in that house.
</p>
<p>
One night about this time I saw a well-grown, stout woman who looked
four-and-twenty. "What a thigh she must have," thought I, "can I afford
her?" and I felt in my pocket. Ten shillings with the room besides was
too much for me that night. I passed her again looking her in the face,
and longing for her, until she knew me and smiled. She had a bright
laughing eye. Summoning courage I gave her a signal, and she followed me
up a bye-street.
</p>
<p>
"I have only five shillings." "Lord! you do want it cheap,&mdash;make it ten
shillings." "I can't." "Well <i>I</i> can't." "Three half-crowns, and then
with the room I shan't have a shilling in my pocket." I used to speak in
that frank way to them. She laughed. "You are an odd sort of chap,&mdash;well
come along,&mdash;what house are you going to take me to?" "Where you
like,&mdash;I don't know them." "Oh! yes you do," said she, "you know well
enough with that eye of yours." We turned into a house which we both
knew, not one of the most expensive.
</p>
<p>
I was exceedingly pleased with her manner, and in her house still more
pleased with her face. Her eye was one of the merriest, she was bright,
and fresh-colored, yet the general color of her flesh was slightly
brown. Her plumpness made me so randy I could scarcely wait to feel or
look at her, I wanted to push on to the fullest pleasures at once.
</p>
<p>
She eyed me pleasantly, and made some remark about the smallness of the
sum, which made me uncomfortable. She saw it, and laughing showed a set
of beautiful small white teeth. I gave her her money at once, and
then began preliminaries. The room I recollect well. There was a
large four-post bed, a large wire screen three feet high all round the
fire-place, like those in nurseries. The house-woman flattened the fire
down, and took away the poker,&mdash;to prevent the fire being stirred I
suppose. There was but one candle, and the room was dark, there was
scarcely gas in any of the houses in those days.
</p>
<p>
I drew her to me, my hand roved about her bum, belly, and notch, I asked
her to undress, desire increasing by the feel of her thighs made me
inquisitive. She would not undress, was in a hurry, some other night
perhaps, not now. Impatient so that I might begin, I placed her on the
edge of the bed, putting a chair for one of her feet. She lifted up her
clothes freely, and I saw her cunt.
</p>
<p>
It was surrounded, though not in great quantity, with fine chestnut
brown, soft, thick hair, her thighs were large, round, fat, and firm,
the split looked small, was small outside, and I found it to be small
inside as well. A large bum squeezed together by the position in which
she was lying closed up almost the cuntal opening, so that just where
the prick must intrude itself, the hole could scarcely be seen, her
flesh had the slightly brown tint of her face. How is it that at a
glance all this was seen, and remembered ever since? What fascination a
cunt has! Strange that a mere gap close to an arse-hole should have such
power.
</p>
<p>
In admiration of her cunt and its surroundings I held a candle for a
moment between her thighs. "Hold your quim open,&mdash;do,&mdash;do." Her hand
came down, the fore and middle-finger went on either side of the split,
and distended the lips, showed the red lining, a clitoris, small, and
nice-looking, and small nymphae sloping down to the narrow carmine
darkness, closing up gradually and tightly between her bum-cheeks,
squeezed up and closed by the weight of her body pressing up her bum the
bed.
</p>
<p>
"I can bear being looked at", said she. "Then open your legs
wider,&mdash;wider dear." Wider they went. Candle in one hand I pushed the
finger of the other up her cunt. Then all delight of the eye was merged
in the maddening desire to fuck. Putting the candle somewhere it fell
down, and was extinguished; at the same moment slipping my prick to the
opening, with a smooth glide up it went. Before I had moved my prick
half a minute I was spending, before I had had a wriggle in her, before
I had well clasped her buttocks, I was leaning over her sighing, and had
finished before I had well began. I now think I feel my sensation up
her as I write this, of the rapturous smoothing of her buttocks as I
finished. Some women make me recollect them thus.
</p>
<p>
"What a bore", said I squeezing my belly close up to hers, "I hate to be
quick." I heard her laugh, but could not see her face. She did not hurry
me out of her, but at length nature caused me to withdraw, and we got
the candle lighted.
</p>
<p>
Washing herself whilst I stood talking and regretting my haste, holding
my unwashed prick in front of her, she laughing and saying I must take
my time another day, emptied the basin, and turning round asked if she
should wash me. Years had elapsed I think since a woman had done so to
me, then it was by a French woman. The offer comes to me now as having
been an unusual one. Delighted I let her. Delicately handling my doodle
she soaped and washed it, making complimentary remarks about it as she
did so.
</p>
<p>
The operation excited me, I stiffened. "Oh! I do so want you again,&mdash;let
me." "No its late,&mdash;if I don't make money before twelve I never do
afterwards,&mdash;see me another night,&mdash;besides you can't do it again yet."
"Let me feel you then only for a minute." She approached me, one hand I
put to her cunt, the other thrusting between her fat bum-cheeks met the
tip of the fingers on the other hand. "My prick's standing so." "It's
not." "Feel it." She put her hand down and felt, I stiff to the utmost
kept asking her to let me again. "Well get on the bed then", said she
after feeling me quietly for a minute,&mdash;"see the candle has burnt down,
it won't last long." By the time she had said this she was lying down
with her clothes up above her navel.
</p>
<p>
We were fucking with intensity, the candle went out, I felt her kisses.
"Oh! what a lovely cunt you have." "You've a nice prick,&mdash;who taught
you to poke so nicely?" Our tongues met,&mdash;silence, sighs, short shoves,
spunk,&mdash;and all was over. "Let me wash your cunt." "Very well." "You
wash my prick." "Yes." The mutual washing over we separated, I promising
to see her again. We had washed by the fire-light alone.
</p>
<p>
Next night at the same time we fucked again. I stripped her, and was
enamoured of her body if not of herself. She made no sign of wanting
to leave me, but rather wanted to keep me. I had not since I lost Mary
tasted a woman's mouth, with this woman I was delighted in doing so,
though with the ordinary gay women I could not bear their tongues.
Whilst we were fucking they knocked at the door saying they wanted the
room. Bessie swore, "Damn her", said she, "for interrupting us,&mdash;and
the money I have brought her." This increased my pleasure, and Bessie
participated in it. After fucking her twice we sat by the fire and
talked, she warming her bum, her petticoats up to her knees, my hand on
her quim, and airing my balls. "If you want me another night, and can't
see me, ask the woman about,&mdash;ask for Brighton Bessie,&mdash;there are two
Bessies, so mind,&mdash;Brighton Bessie", said she as we parted.
</p>
<p>
I found I could talk to this woman. Whilst doing so she would sit on my
knees and feel my prick, and I feel her privates. I had long wanted
such a free-and-easy acquaintance, for nothing annoyed me like the sham
modesty of doxies, their shuffling out of showing me their cunts, their
hurry to get me up them, and away afterwards. Bessie had none of this.
Like Camille, Mary, and all women I ever kept to long, she let me do
absolutely as I pleased, and without hurry would copulate, then sit and
talk till we were ready again
</p>
<p>
for the exercise. But they did not at the house in&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
</p>
<p>
Street fancy our staying so long at their busy time; so she arranged to
meet me at B. w Street one night, and took me to a house there which was
dearer, but where she said they rarely interrupted couples.
</p>
<p>
It was nearly opposite to the Opera-House, since built. It had a very
large frontage, six or seven windows of a row I think, a dingy-looking
building that most people would have passed without noticing, or would
have thought it a dwelling-house of poorish people. The knowing ones
would have guessed that it meant something hidden and convenient. There
was no light outside, but if you pushed the door by night or by day, it
opened into a darkish lobby, then passing through a glass door with a
glimmer of light at the back, a woman met you, and conducted you to
a chamber, big or small, handsomely or poorly furnished according to
price. In it there must have been twenty rooms, and there was more
bum-wagging, more seed spent, more sighs of pleasure in that house
nightly, than in any other house in London I should think.
</p>
<p>
It was dearer; but if you stayed for hours no one ever interrupted you.
There were in Winter good large fires, the rooms were a good size, there
was no gas, two candles were given, if you wanted more you paid extra.
Wine and liquor of fair quality was got for you. The furniture was
somewhat dingy, but all the rooms had sofas on which two could lie, and
beds large enough for three with clean linen always. It was one of the
most quiet, comfortable accommodation-shops I ever was in, and with
Brighton Bessie, I passed there many voluptuous evenings.
</p>
<p>
I took a bottle of champagne with me there one night, the first time I
ever did so to a baudy house when I met a gay woman; but I wanted that
night a long, quiet evening with a free woman, and had one with her
quite after my own fashion.
</p>
<p>
I had Bessie often for about two years, and at intervals for two or
three years after that, the last was about ten years after I had first
met her. I never had a passion for her, nor did I keep only to her; but
through the Winter of this year, as nearly as I can recollect, I had few
but her. After next hot weather my lust ran riot, I got also better
off, and treated my pego to variety, but we then frequently met at B.w
Street. Poor Bessie fell in love with me, and was fond of liquor as I
shall tell, now will only tell of the way our evenings, and at times
afternoons were passed together.
</p>
<p>
If warm enough we used to strip, and lay outside the bed; if not got
into bed. As she was beautifully shaped I first took my delight in
contemplating her, then I laid along the bed, my head near her knees,
she the reverse way, and again I inspected. Sometimes she twiddled my
cock, and I her clitoris, but generally the time was spent in putting
her in every voluptuous posture, and fucking in all sorts of positions.
She liked it. "It's all my eye", she used to remark when we talked on
the subject saying, "I don't like it,&mdash;I like fucking and baudiness,
it's the best thing in life,&mdash;a short life and lots of fucking is my
motto,&mdash;women who say they never spend with men are liars,&mdash;they all
like it as much as I do." She was but twenty-one years old, although her
stoutness made her look older. And now I leave her for a time.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0003"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER III.
</h2>
<pre>
A change in taste.&mdash;A small cunt longed for.&mdash;Hunting in the
Strand.&mdash;Yellow-haired Kitty.&mdash;Her little companion.&mdash;Oh!
you foule.&mdash;The house in E...t.r Street.&mdash;Double fees.&mdash;
Kitty's pleasure.&mdash;Objections to washing.&mdash;Have the other
gal.&mdash;Cleanliness.&mdash;Home occupations.&mdash;I ain't gay.&mdash;Kitty's
males.
</pre>
<p>
I don't know why my erotic fancies took the desire for a young lass,
but they did. My taste had for the most part run upon the big, fleshy,
fat-cunted, and large-arsed; now perhaps for contrast, perhaps from
sheer curiosity, the letch took possession of me. A small cunt, tight
and hairless perhaps,&mdash;I wondered how it looked, felt, and if pleasure
would be increased by it, and though my prick swelled when spending
until I have groaned under the grip, even of a large cunt, I longed for
quite a little one. I had never had a very young girl,&mdash;excepting the
little child,&mdash;Nelly and Sophy had both a little hair on their mottes,
so I would try for a youthful quim and one if possible with no hair on
it.
</p>
<p>
I was not versed in the walks and ways of little ones, and looking about
at night saw none. Talking about it at my Club, I heard they were to be
seen mostly in the day-time, so I looked out in the Strand for what I
wanted, and during day-light.
</p>
<p>
On a blazing hot afternoon in June I walked about a long time thinking
of youthful harlots, but saw none, or if I did could not distinguish
them. At length I saw two young girls idling about, looking in at the
shop windows on the other side of the way. One was dressed all in black,
and was taller and stouter than the other. They were not got up in any
showy way, but looked like the children of decent mechanics.
</p>
<p>
They took no notice of any one, nor any one of them, they stopped at a
shop, and I noticed that the biggest had the largest legs. A plump form
had as said attractions to me almost superior to face. Crossing to the
other side of the way I passed them, looking them full in the face.
The taller one was good-looking, white-faced, and had goldenish hair,
a colour I could not bear. They looked at me, but there was nothing to
indicate fastness. Returning I met them again, the same stare, the same
indifference. Thinking of their little cunts, and getting randy and
reckless I determined to try. They stopped at a sweetmeat-shop; going
to the side of them, and looking into the shop, not at them, so as to
prevent my being noticed, "I'll buy you whatever you want if you will
come with me", I said. The bigger of the two edged away from me, after
looking up in my face, whispered something to her companion, and they
both moved along the street without noticing me further.
</p>
<p>
I was disconcerted, and went over to the opposite side of the way again
watching them, they went to a print-shop, and looked in; the big one
looked in the direction of a lolly-pop shop, and up and down the
street. She was looking after me evidently, so I crossed over, met them
full-face, and as I passed said without stopping, "Come with me, and
I'll give you money."
</p>
<p>
I turned a corner, and looked, they were at another shop, the bigger
girl with her arm round the smaller one's neck. I again passed them,
going back to do so, and saying, "I'll give you three and sixpence."
That was the exact sum, and then turned up a street which led to baudy
houses, and waited at the turning into the street.
</p>
<p>
The two girls turned the corner, stopped, and talked, the bigger laid
hold of, and slightly pulled the smaller, and seemed to be persuading
her. Failing apparently she left her, but turned back, spoke to her
again, and both came on together. Then I turned into the back-street,
the two girls appeared at the corner of that, and then stopped and
talked for a minute. Tired of waiting I thought I had made a mistake,
and going slowly back heard the bigger one say, "You <i>are a foule</i>."
"Oh! you <i>foule</i>." "Come he wants us." "You <i>foule</i>."
</p>
<p>
"I don't want her," said I, "but you,&mdash;come,"&mdash;and returning entered a
baudy house, the outer-door of which stood open, thinking the bigger one
would follow, and sure now that she was a harlot. I then passed through
the inner door which as usual then had a glass window covered with a red
curtain.
</p>
<p>
A minute elapsed, the baudy house-keeper had been spoken to, but the
girl not coming, I opened the door to look out. The bigger girl was
just inside the outer door, and was pulling in the other one. "Come you
foule,&mdash;you said you would,&mdash;he'll give you money as well as me, and
I'll give you some of mine too,&mdash;well you are a foule," quite bawling it
out. There was not much secrecy needed in such things at those times, in
those streets.
</p>
<p>
"I don't want <i>her</i>," said I hurriedly, "it's you,&mdash;come in, or I won't
wait." She came in, the other girl disappeared, and we were soon in a
bed-room together.
</p>
<p>
It was the first house at that end of the street, had been newly opened,
and was furnished in a style not like a baudy house; no show, neat and
clean, but cheaply; no bed-hangings (and in those days most baudy houses
had bed-hangings), the blinds were new and white, the beds quite clean.
The top-floor room where I went for economy was two shillings and
sixpence. The woman of the house was tall, comely, and middle-aged. As
I paid her I noticed she had fat red cheeks. How curious that I should
recollect those red cheeks. She had a white apron on, and was a civil
sort of creature.
</p>
<p>
The girl stood still staring at me. Sitting on the edge of the bed
I stared at her, filled with baudy curiosity and the appreciation of
novelty. "Why won't you have the other gal?" said she. "I don't want
her, nor want two,&mdash;and she is a dirty little imp." "No she ain't dirty,
she washes herself like me,&mdash;let her come up." "No,&mdash;come you here."
"She is quite clean,&mdash;I wash her myself sometimes." "No, come here I
tell you."
</p>
<p>
The girl came to me dawling. I put my hands up her clothes. A fleshy
little bum met my hand, then in the front a smooth belly, a motte almost
hairless as it seemed. She said not a word, but gave a sort of jerk of
her body, and as my hand touched her bum it jutted forwards, and as I
drew my hand round to her belly she drew her belly back. It did not seem
like shame. She did not utter a word. "Take off your things", said I.
</p>
<p>
She drew away from me, and took off her bonnet, then stood still. "Off
with your things," I said throwing off some of mine. "I can't take them
off,&mdash;if I do I can't fasten them again, they are in a knot." "Take
them off." "If I do you will have to fasten me." "So I will." Slowly she
stripped to her chemise. "Take that off." "I won't." "Come here then."
She came. Laying hold of her I lifted her bodily, and threw her with her
back on the bed, throwing up her chemise and stretching open her legs
quickly. She gave a suppressed "hoh!" put her hand down to her cunt, and
felt her mons nervously.
</p>
<p>
"Take away your hand dear." She took it away, then I pulled open her
little thing. Such a delicious little gap it was, with the smallest
possible quantity of golden hair just showing on it; such a smooth white
belly and thighs, and all so plump, that I was wonder-struck at a young
girl being so round and fine. I had not expected under that shabby black
clothing anything so nice. I was charmed with her head also; in a big
black and shabby bonnet I had seen nothing but a white face and large
blue eyes. Her hair was golden in tone, bright and flowing.
</p>
<p>
Whilst pulling off my trousers she sat up and asked, "Is it big?" For
the instant I did not quite know what she meant. "What's big?" "Your
thing,&mdash;measure it." I went up to her pulling out my pego. "It is
big," said she. "It's little," said I. "It ain't,&mdash;it's big." "No."
"Yes,&mdash;don't push hard sir,&mdash;will you now?" "No my dear I won't,&mdash;Is it
bigger than other men's pricks?" "I shan't tell you." "Well lay down and
open your thighs,"&mdash;again I lifted her on to the bed. "Don't you do it
hard," said she getting up again, "or I won't let you." "Then I won't
pay you." Back she fell, I wetted my prick, put it to the notch, and
with a shove or two was well up her. She gave a "oh,&mdash;oooh!" and then
laid quiet. Grasping her fat little bum I fucked, then stopping pulled
out my prick, and looked at her cunt. "What are you a going to do?" said
she in an astonished way.
</p>
<p>
"Get quite on to the bed dear." Slow at obeying I helped her into the
posture, and got on to her, and brought my pleasure to an end, lying on
the top of the pretty little girl.
</p>
<p>
I lay on her long afterwards, and tried by the muscular contraction
of my arse-cheeks and ballock-roots to stiffen my pego again. She laid
quiet all the time with my prick up her, but I could not manage it, my
prick shrunk.
</p>
<p>
A second erection without uncunting being impossible, I got into a
kneeling posture between her open legs, and checked a slight movement
on her part saying, "Now lie quiet,&mdash;don't move." There was I kneeling
between her thighs; looking down I saw her half-opened cunt with the
gruelly tide issuing from it, took my prick in hand half its potential
size, flabby and wet, pulled back the skin, and out rolled a large drop
of sperm on to her thigh. She lay quite quiet, looking at me, her yellow
hair falling all around her head as it lay on the pillow. Now I was
astonished at her beauty, I had not noticed it fully before.
</p>
<p>
"You are very handsome,&mdash;how old are you?" "Fifteen and a little." "You
must be more." "I don't know, but mother says so." I looked at her cunt,
the hair on it was not an eighth of an inch long, scarcely any of it,
and of course showing no intention of curling, but her form was so round
that I could not believe she was so young. "Fifteen and a little," she
repeated, her aunt and her mother had been disputing the day of her
birth; her mother was out of her mind when she gave birth to her. "Aunt
says I ain't fifteen."
</p>
<p>
"Give the other gal a shilling,&mdash;do," she broke in whilst I was
questioning her about age, and kneeling between her thighs. "What are
you so anxious about the other girl for?" "She lives over us, and is my
friend,&mdash;will you give her a shilling?&mdash;do." "Why?" "Do,&mdash;if you don't
I shall give her a shilling of mine, and give her some of mine
anyhow,&mdash;you said you'd give me three and sixpence, didn't you?"
</p>
<p>
Curiously amused I laughed. "I'll give you a shilling for her, if you
let me do it to you again." "Oh! <i>do</i>," said she.
</p>
<p>
It was hot, I had not reposed after my pleasure, so quitting my kneeling
position I laid down besides her, and began feeling her breasts. She
turned her head towards me. "You have not washed yourself," said I after
a minute's amusement with her bubbles. "It ain't no good if yer ar going
to make a mess in it agin,&mdash;when you've done it I'll wash it all out
together." I thought from that speech she was not an old one at the
game, yet after all she only behaved as every young girl I have had
usually behaved, they have mostly objected to washing their cunts
directly after a poke, I think they rarely wash it until requested.
There must be some sweet tranquillizing pleasure which a man's sperm
gives to a woman's cunt, and makes her undesirous of washing it out. It
is only when a woman knows it is good for her health if she be gay, that
she ever does it. No married woman washes the sperm out of her cunt, yet
in the morning after a night's fucking you never find the sperm if you
feel in the cunt for it,&mdash;where does it go?&mdash;it is absorbed I suppose.
</p>
<p>
We lay thus and talked. "How old are you really?" "Fifteen and two
months, as I told yer,&mdash;I always was fat, but ain't so fat as I was
though,&mdash;father used to say I should get fat on gruel." I should have
guessed her full sixteen had it not been for the little hair there was
on her motte, and the delicate pink small cut, and tight prick-hole.
"How long have you been gay?" "I ain't gay," said she astonished. "Yes
you are." "No I ain't." "You let men fuck you, don't you?" "Yes, but I
ain't gay." "What do you call gay?" "Why the gals who come out regular
of a night dressed up, and gets their livings by it." I was amused.
</p>
<p>
"Don't you?" "No, mother keeps me." "What is your father?" "Got none,
he's dead three months back,&mdash;mother works, and keeps us.&mdash;she is a
charwoman, and goes out on odd jobs." "Don't you work?" "Not now," said
she in a confused way, "mother does not want me to, I takes care of the
others." "What others?" "The young ones." "How many?" "Two,&mdash;one's a
boy, and one's a gal." "How old?" "Sister's about six, and brother's
nearly eight,&mdash;but what do you ask me all this for?" "Only for
amusement,&mdash;then you are in mourning for your father?" "Yes, it's
shabby, ain't it?&mdash;I wish I could have nice clothes, I've got nice
boots,&mdash;ain't they?"&mdash;cocking up one leg, "a lady gived em me when
father died,&mdash;they are my best."
</p>
<p>
"Are you often in the Strand?" "When I gets out I likes walking in it,
and looking at the shops,&mdash;I do if mother's out for the day." "Does she
know you are out?" The girl who had been lying on her back with her
head full towards me, turned on her side, and giggling said in a sort of
confidential way, "Bless you no,&mdash;she'd beat me if she knew,&mdash;when
she be out I locks them up, and takes the key, and then I goes back
to them,&mdash;I've got the key in my pocket, and shall be home before
mother,&mdash;she is out for the whole day."
</p>
<p>
"Do the children know you're out?" "No, I says to them, 'You be quiet
now, I'm going to the yard.'" "What's the yard?" said I not reflecting.
The girl thought a minute, chuckled, turned her head, and was silent,
she was actually blushing. "What's the yard?" Suddenly it struck me,
"Going to the privy?" She burst out laughing. "Yes that's it, I say I'm
going to the privy, and then I comes out with her, and they can't get
out, so they are all right, and we go back together if she's with me; if
she ain't I go back by myself,&mdash;there,"&mdash;and she stopped satisfied with
her explanation. "They may set fire to themselves," said I. "There ain't
no fire after we have had breakfast, I puts it out, and lights it at
night if mother wants hot water."
</p>
<p>
"What do you do with yourself all day?" "I washed both of them, I gives
them food if we've got any, then washes the floor and everything, and
then washes myself, then I looks out of the winer." "Wash yourself."
"Yes I washes from head to foot allus." "Have you a tub?" "No we've only
got a pail and a bowl, but I'm beautiful clean,&mdash;mother tells every one
I'm the beautifullest clean gal a mother ever had,&mdash;I wash everything,
mother's too tired. Sometimes we all go out and walk, but that's at
night; sometime I lays abed nearly all day."
</p>
<p>
She was beautifully clean in her flesh, her linen was clean, its color
awful; but what could be expected from a pail, a bowl, and one room to
dry things in. "You can't always be washing." "No, I do all the mending
and making,&mdash;look how my finger is pricked," said she showing it.
</p>
<p>
I had been smoothing and feeling her all over, her unwashed cunt had
come in for its share of my attentions, I had been twiddling it till
outside it was dry. Recurring to the never-failing, and always charming
theme, I got close to her, kissed her, my fingers sought the innermost
recesses of her tight little orifice. "Don't you like fucking?&mdash;does it
give you pleasure?" "It never gived me much pleasure that I know on,"
she replied. "But you don't dislike it?" "Not if they don't hurt me."
"Do they ever?" "One or two have, if they push hard,&mdash;but I shan't say
no more,&mdash;there."
</p>
<p>
There was a frankness, openness, and freshness about this girl which
delighted me. Question after question I put, and would be answered;
if evaded I put it in another shape, but she seemed willing mostly to
reply. I put into her little head things she had never dreamed of,
and all the time kept rubbing her clitoris, probing her little quim,
distending it, tickling it, and exciting her till she wriggled her
little fat bum.
</p>
<p>
"Do I hurt you?" "Oh! no,"&mdash;"let me then,"&mdash;"oh! don't sir,&mdash;I wish you
would not." "Did you never enjoy the prick up you?&mdash;never enjoy a fuck!
&mdash;you shall enjoy it with me." "Don't now," said she turning herself
round as I frigged on. "Feel my prick dear." She did not need a second
invitation. "Is it not stiff?" "Yes, and big." "Yes,&mdash;yes,&mdash;but oh!
don't sir,&mdash;take away your hand,&mdash;ah!" I talked on, frigging and
tickling, my prick throbbing, but restraining myself, for instinct told
me she was about to enjoy a pleasure she had never enjoyed yet. All at
once she relinquished my prick, a slight heaving of her belly, and her
eyes closed, then I knew she was ready to discharge.
</p>
<p>
I ceased to frig, her eyes opened, her thighs which had closed opened
again. I joined my body to hers, and we were one, I fucked,&mdash;<i>we</i> fucked
now, for the little lass in a minute or two was dissolving in pleasure
whilst I was pissing my sperm up her, groaning as the tightness of
her little cunt squeezed my sensitive prick. If Kitty was not a harlot
before, she was from that minute she had her spend with me.
</p>
<p>
She laid quite quiet till nature dissolved our fleshy union by uncunting
me, then I laid by her side, she on her back, her thighs wide open, her
eyes closed.
</p>
<p>
"Don't it give you pleasure?" After repeating that half-a-dozen times
she said, "I don't know." "Yes you do,&mdash;did you spend?" "I don't
know what a girl's spending is," said she. "Did my prick give you
pleasure,&mdash;tell me Kitty?" At length she said yes, and she had never had
pleasure with men before. (Two years afterwards she repeated that the
first pleasure she ever had with a man was with me.) "Wash yourself."
"I'll wash when I go home." "Wash now you little beast." "What does
it matter to you?" "Wash you little devil." She washed carefully, and
whilst doing so, "Piddle," said I. "I can't abear to piddle before a
man,&mdash;what a funny man you are." "Piddle my dear," and the little dear
piddled.
</p>
<p>
Wiping herself dry she stopped in the middle of the operation and asked,
"Why wouldn't you have the other gal?" "What do you want me to have her
for?" "She's very poor." "What do you do with your money?" "Buy things
to eat,&mdash;mother's very poor, we often ain't got enough to eat." "Then
you get a little money by being gay." "I ain't gay I tell you." "Well
your friend is I suppose, and gets money." "No she doesn't,&mdash;she
isn't gay either,&mdash;no man ain't ever done it to her, she's such a
<i>foule</i>,&mdash;but she would a come in to-day with you, she said she would,
and she were just a comin when you sent her off,&mdash;she promised me, she'd
let yer if you wanted,&mdash;but she is a foule though."
</p>
<p>
"I don't believe that." "It's God's truth though, she ain't, she says
she ain't; she knows what men want gals for, but she's never let any
one,&mdash;I know she ain't, she is frightened." "Have you looked at her
cunt?" "Often," said Kitty. "And she's looked at yours?" "Of course she
has,&mdash;she lives over us I tell you, I go up to her, and she comes down
to me when mother's out,&mdash;I wash her." "You seem fond of washing." "I
likes things clean." I thought for an instant, "It may be true, I should
like to see her cunt if she's never been poked,&mdash;what object has this
little lass in pressing this so?" Then said I, "Tell me the truth, and
I'll give you another shilling,&mdash;don't lie,&mdash;I shall soon tell whether
you're lying or not," and getting up, "here is three and six (I had it
on the mantle-piece), here's a shilling for her, and there is another.
If you answer truly, I'll see you again; but I'll never see you again if
I find you are making up lies,&mdash;come here." And I sat down.
</p>
<p>
She came forward, I pulled her between my naked legs, her naked thighs
met mine, her little cunt was close to my prick, I put my hand round her
fat little bum, and looked her in the face, pressing her belly close to
mine.
</p>
<p>
"What do you want me to have her for?" "Only cos she's so poor,&mdash;why
she only gets sixpence a day,&mdash;she works at sack-making,&mdash;oh! isn't it
hard!&mdash;and her hands if you seed em, are hard and brown, stained with
the string, and what the works with,&mdash;mother wants me to work at them at
home, but I won't&mdash;I tells her I'd run away first,&mdash;she is so little she
can't carry the sacks home as other gals do; so a strong young woman who
works at sacks carries them home for her, and charges her twopence for
it,&mdash;they carries them home on the top of their heads; but she is too
little, she is." (At that time women worked at sack-making, and carried
them home on their heads.)
</p>
<p>
"Can she put her finger up her cunt?" "I shan't tell you all that," said
she turning nasty. "Is her cunt as open as yours?" "No it ain't." "Then
she can't get her finger up." "Oh! you are a rum cove, you are,"
said she breaking away from me, "I never seed the like of you. I must
go,&mdash;tell me what time it is." "Half-past four." "I'll go,&mdash;I give the
children something to eat about this time." "Come here, or I won't give
you the shillings." We resumed our positions. "Are you sure she has
never had a man?" "Never, she's such a <i>foule</i>,&mdash;she says she'd like to,
and she'd like the money, and yet she won't,&mdash;she is <i>such</i> a <i>foule</i>."
"How long have <i>you</i> done it?" "Only since we have lived this side of
the water, after father died." "How many men have you had?" "I shan't
say,&mdash;I don't recollect,&mdash;it arn't no business of yourn,&mdash;you don't
like me." "Yes I like you, but I won't tell,&mdash;no it isn't a dozen,&mdash;I
shan't say who first did it,&mdash;I shan't then,&mdash;it isn't a dozen,&mdash;yes I
am quite sure, I don't think it's ten, but it may be about that, I think
it's eight,&mdash;they didn't all do it to me, no they didn't,&mdash;one on em
only put his hands up my clothes, and went off in a minute; another
pulled up my clothes, and looked at me, and then he&mdash;" She stopped, and
I could not get her to say what, so promised her another shilling. "I
don't know what he did." "Frig himself?" "I don't know what you call
it,&mdash;yes he did that," said the girl bursting into a roar of laughter
when I showed her the operation. "I looked at him, and he went away
without speaking,&mdash;he only gave me half-a-crown; but an old gentleman
one day gave me a gold bit of ten shillings." She began counting on her
fingers. I thought she was reckoning her gains, she was a long time at
it, doing it over and over again; at length, "It's seven," said she.
"What?" "Gentlemen,&mdash;you make eight."
</p>
<p>
"Your little friend is too young," said I. "She is fourteen, but shorter
than me." "Has she any hair on her cunt?" "You can just see some coming,
and it's black." "She is dirty." "No she ain't, but she was till she
knew me,&mdash;she can't help her clothes being dirty, but she mends em,&mdash;how
I wish I had nice clothes like the gals about at night, and like
gentlefolks!" said Kitty in a sort of ecstacy, and then tossed up
half-a-crown, and caught it.
</p>
<p>
I began to long for the other girl, and told her she might bring her the
next day, that she should have three and sixpence, and her friend the
same, and more if I did it. Kitty went off agreeing to meet me with her
if their mothers were out, but if not, the day after, all depended on
their mothers' absence. She would listen to the church-clock, and as it
struck three she would leave; it was only by listening that she knew the
time. She would put by a penny for the bridge-toll; generally she went
round by Westminster bridge to avoid paying the penny. Then we left.
Her little friend I found was loitering close by. They went into a
pastry-cook's, and I watched them both eating together as they went
along towards Waterloo bridge, Kitt and Pol.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0004"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER IV.
</h2>
<pre>
Little Pol consents.&mdash;Arsy-versy.&mdash;Broached, and howling.&mdash;
Kitty's vocalization.&mdash;A cheap virginity.&mdash;Two hours after.&mdash;
Love's money lost.&mdash;The street-gully.&mdash;Kitty pleases.&mdash;Pol
tires.&mdash;Kitty's habits.&mdash;Friendliness and frankness.&mdash;
Sausage rolls.&mdash;Confessions of lust.
</pre>
<p>
On the appointed day I saw Kitty but alone, she followed me to the
house, and soon by my pego her sweet little cunt was distended. I had
her all the afternoon, and tailed her to the extent of my powers. The
girl was delighted, her eyes sparkled with lewdness. Was fucking nice?
"Oh! yes, yes," she replied, it was nicer than she thought, nicer
than gals told her it would be. This was after I had called her at our
meeting a little humbug, for not bringing her friend. The excuse was
that Pol's mother was at home. I did not believe it, but was so content
with her sweet little form, the ease with which I handled her, the
enticing look of the cunt, its tightness, and her pleasant, frank
manners, that I forgot all about the other little one, till going
away, then said, "Mind you bring your friend, and I'll give you five
shillings, but you know you won't, you little storyteller." "I will,&mdash;I
shall,&mdash;I'll make her come,&mdash;she wants, but she is such a foule,&mdash;and
she's frightened of her mother."
</p>
<p>
Another blazing hot day. The two were looking in at the pastry-cook's,
the taller with her arm round the neck of the other. I watched them for
a minute, Kit often looked around anxiously, and seeing me, moved off
quickly towards the street. I followed on the opposite side of the way,
then stopped. The small one stood with her back against a wall, Kitty
was gesticulating. I went on passing without noticing them. As I passed
I heard, "You are a <i>foule</i>,&mdash;you're a <i>liar</i>,&mdash;you said you would."
"I shan't then." Turning the corner I looked back. There they still were
standing as on the first day I saw them. Thought I, "She can't persuade
the little one," so walked on to W..l....n Street, to the Lyceum
portico, and back again in a fever of expectancy. As I got near the
house they both turned the corner, so in I went and waited till both
girls appeared, and soon heard two pairs of feet after me on the same
staircase, two young voices whispering, the Mistress following us all.
</p>
<p>
"Why five shillings?" "You have <i>two</i> young ladies to-day, double price
you know sir." I did <i>not</i> know, for it was the first time I had had two
women together in a house. Excited and anxious I had got to fucking-heat
in anticipation of a small unprobed cunt, paid the money, and there was
I with the two little ones face to face, two young cunts at my disposal,
a novelty, and a charming one. The woman closed the door, casting a
queer look at the girls and me. I locked it.
</p>
<p>
I put my hand up Kitty's clothes, the other girl, an ugly little imp
in a bonnet as big as a coal-scuttle, and with boots which looked as if
they were her mother's, stood and stared with eyes wide open,&mdash;they were
dark, and her hair nearly black. "Come here my dear." "Come to him,"
said Kitty. The girl drew near, I took her on my knee. "So you are the
friend of Kitty, and we are going to play with each other naked, aren't
we?&mdash;I'm going to look at your cunt, and you are going to feel my cock."
She made no reply. "I'm going to look where your piddle comes out,
aren't I?" "<i>No</i>," said the girl sullenly after reflecting a minute, and
hanging her head on one side, "I shan't."
</p>
<p>
"Yes he is you foule,&mdash;oh! you <i>are</i> a foule," burst out Kitty, "I wish
I didn't know you, you are <i>such</i> a foule,&mdash;she said she would sir,
she knows all about it, she does, she knows what she has comed for, she
does,&mdash;now don't be a foule (in a threatening manner), I won't speak to
you agin, nor gi yer nothink (Kitty's English was awful),&mdash;you may get
yer belly filled, I won't help fill it." All this over and over again,
in anger.
</p>
<p>
The girl looked at Kitty humbly. "Well I will then." I put my hands up
her petticoats on to a lean pair of thighs. "Take off your things." "Yes
<i>take</i> them off," said Kitty helping her off with her bonnet, and to
undress. "Are you going to take off yours Kitty?" said she. "Yes when
you have," and without more ado she stripped the girl to her chemise,
and herself likewise. I took off all but my shirt and socks. It was a
sweating hot day.
</p>
<p>
The girl was not very inviting, was heavy and lubberly, and looked as if
she had not enough to eat; but there was in her a virgin cunt, so I was
told, although even then a little sceptical about what a female told me
on that point. My tooleywag was standing at the idea, I shook it before
them, and calling both to me held them round their naked bums, and made
them feel me. The pair of little fists anxiously feeling from the root
of my balls to the tip of the piercer soon rendered me impatient for
action. I was near the side of the bed facing the windows, and through
the white blinds came the strong light of a summer's afternoon. Lifting
the fresh one from my knee I put her on her back on the bed, and lifted
her scanty chemise. Close went her legs together, I opened them, she
resisted, I grew angry, Kitty called her a foule. Coaxed and bullied
at the same time she yielded, I pulled the legs wide open, and kneeling
threw one over my shoulder, the other I pressed outwards, and with my
other hand opened her cunt-lips wide; then she kicked her legs over me,
and turning arse upwards got up. A little row, again she yielded, again
served me the same trick. I damned her for a bitch, and Kitty reviled
her. "She is a fool Kitty,&mdash;show her what I want." Kitty hesitated
a moment, then throwing herself on to the bed opened her thighs, and
pulled her cunt-lips apart. The young one gradually persuaded let me
do for her what Kitty did for herself, after she had carefully studied
Kitty's quim for a minute.
</p>
<p>
I saw with speechless excitement the girl's cunt, which seemed at first
glance as if a prick had entered it; but looking more closely saw that
the perforation was too small. I thrust gently my finger up it,&mdash;a
cry,&mdash;a howl. "Don't,&mdash;you're a hurting," and again the little devil
was arse upwards on the bed. Again I coaxed, promised, lied, and Kitty
bullied; again I saw the cunt, that it was not like cunts that had been
fucked: the hairless lips, a little black tint just above the notch,
a little hole. My eyesight failed me, the demon of desire said, "It's
fresh, it's virgin,&mdash;bore it,&mdash;bung it,&mdash;plug it,&mdash;stretch it,&mdash;split
it,&mdash;spunk in it," and I laid hold of her thin backside mad with lust,
kissing and sniffling at her cunt.
</p>
<p>
"Let's lay on the bed, and all strip quite naked,&mdash;it's so hot." "Yes
do," said Kitty. She stripped the girl of her pea-soup coloured rag,
and we both stripped. There we were in a minute all three naked, close
together, with but little room, the girl in the middle. I pressed to
her, put her hand round my prick, talked baudy. Kitty said, "Now let
him." The girl said no. I put one leg over, and worked myself between
her little thighs, partly holding myself up on my elbow and pattering
baudy which Kitty kept repeating. "It won't hurt dear." "No it won't
hurt," said Kitty. "Just let me touch it with his prick." Kitty in her
anxiety slipped right off the bed, and getting herself up stood by the
bedside repeating the baudy words I uttered.
</p>
<p>
The girl lay quiet, Kitty telling her not to be a fool; but <i>I</i> was a
fool, for the notch being small I did not hit it well. Putting my prick
down to where my fingers underlied the split, I pushed towards the goal,
not pressing her with my body, but keeping my weight off by leaning on
my right elbow, for it seemed that if I laid on her I should crush
and frighten her, the girl seemed so slim. My tool struck hard at the
orifice, she howled. Fearing to miss my game I then fell with the
full weight of my body on her, grasping her thin buttocks, and nearly
stifling her on that hot afternoon, determined to have her if I killed
her. The girl gave howl after howl, and I rammed with all my might
the more. "Hish!&mdash;hold your tongue you foule," said Kitty. As the girl
wriggled violently, and cried.
</p>
<p>
"Damn you, if you are not quiet I'll rip your dress into ribbons, and
you may go home, and tell your mother what you like,&mdash;damn you I'll
murder you,&mdash;I'll give you ten shillings." "You fool he'll give you ten
shillings." I heard no more, oscillating my arse, and driving with all
my force between her legs, I knew not how, I knew not where. Still the
girl howled, and Kitty kept hushing.
</p>
<p>
"The woman will turn us out of the house you foule,&mdash;she won't let me
come in again,&mdash;oh! you foule," said Kitty. In my blind battering I
at last lodged the tip well between the lips. The next instant with a
cunt-splitting thrust I was up the howling little bitch who wriggled
like an eel; but I held her skinny arse up to me like a vice, kept my
peg fixed and un-moveably up her in spite of her. Her wriggles alone
would have kept it stiff enough, and fetched me. "Be quiet,&mdash;I am up
you,&mdash;I can't h&mdash;hurt&mdash;you&mdash;now,&mdash;ah!"&mdash;and my spunk was up the virgin
quim of the ugly little devil.
</p>
<p>
She laid quiet, but whinning, "Oh! you said you would not hurt
me,&mdash;ho!&mdash;hho!" she sobbed, then laid quite still with my prick up her,
snottily whimpering, "o&mdash;oho!"&mdash;and all was tranquil, I nearly asleep.
</p>
<p>
"Is it in her?" said Kitty in a whisper, "is it in yer Pol?" Having got
no answer from me. "Oh! what a foule you are." "I've done it," said
I. "Let her get up," said Kit. I don't recollect having been up such a
tight cunt, not that it gave me pleasure, but the extreme tightness was
such a novelty. "I will do it again." "Have you done it really?" said
Kitty. "Put your hand and feel," said I opening my legs a little to
let Kitty feel under my testicles, "my prick's right up her cunt
now,&mdash;feel."
</p>
<p>
"Have you done it really?" "Yes,&mdash;feel." "Ri&mdash;tol&mdash;lural&mdash;li&mdash;do!"
said Kitty setting off in a happy dance all round the room. I went on
fucking, keeping the girl quiet, I could pull her little form up to me
as tight as wax, and coaxing and promising all sorts of things I fucked
her again without uncunting.
</p>
<p>
"Have you really done it?" said Kitty again. "Yes twice,&mdash;put your hand
up under my balls and feel." Kitty thinking better of the suggestion
this time did so, and satisfying herself that my prick was out of her
touch, set off dancing again with a "ri&mdash;too&mdash;ralooral&mdash;ledo!" I got
off the girl, the hair of my prick saturated with blood and spunk. "She
is bleeding." The girl began snivelling worse than ever when she heard
that, and began feeling her cunt.
</p>
<p>
"What are you crying for you foule?&mdash;did he hurt you much?&mdash;let's look
at it,"&mdash;and Kitty looked at the little quim bunged up with sperm mixed
with blood. "Oh! ain't he done it!&mdash;ritollooralado, ritolloolra-lado,"
and she capered again. "What are you dancing and singing for?" I asked.
"She's had it done,&mdash;oh! look what a mess is on the bed, the woman will
kick up a row."
</p>
<p>
"Get up and wash it you fool, and don't cry." "It hurts." "Wash it."
"It will hurt." "No it won't you foule." Here Kitty put a basin on the
floor, pushed the girl towards it, and made her wash. Then we got her on
to the bed, and both of us took a long, long look at her split. It was
bleeding freely, I saw the ragged edge my intrusion had made, and not
feeling inclined for more fucking gave the girl half-a-sovereign in
gold, Kitty five shillings, and went off leaving them still naked, Kitty
from time to time looking at her friend's wounded orifice, and saying it
would soon be all right, that her thing had bled also. I had fear that I
might be in trouble through my voluptuousness, although a girl of twelve
years is competent to judge of her own fitness for fucking, and many not
a month over that age are plugged daily in London.
</p>
<p>
I had to go to the Temple that afternoon, returning along the Strand an
hour afterwards, not thinking of my afternoon's amusement, for I had had
a disagreeable interview with solicitors, when just at the end of C&mdash;&mdash;-
Street was a slight crowd, in the middle of it the two girls, and the
one I had fucked an hour before crying. Some man gave her money. "Oh!
Lord," thought I, "here is a row about what I have been doing," so got
into a cab, and drove off. When a mile away I began to reflect, and felt
more comfortable, but still uneasy, and determined not to meet them the
next day as I had promised. The day after I saw Kitty walking by
herself, that funked me again, so I cut away without her seeing me.
Thought I, "There will be a row about that ugly little lump having been
pierced, I will go no more." But the letch was so strong that I could
not resist, and on the third day driving past in a cab I saw the two
girls as usual looking in at shops. Alighting I winked as I passed,
heard one say, "Here he is," and three minutes afterwards we were all in
the house again.
</p>
<p>
To strip the two, and examine their cunts was an affair of five minutes,
then laying the little one open-legged I looked at hers tranquilly, and
saw how the slit was completed. The girl whose name I forget, but will
call Pol, put her finger down, and indicated where, she felt a
difference had been made in the shape. I fucked the lass at the side of
the bed, propping up her skinny rump with pillows, Kitty with her face
about a foot off admiring the prick as it shoved in and out the little
red orifice. It was a novelty to her to see it done.
</p>
<p>
Kitty was an odd girl. "Don't hurt her now," she kept saying. The little
one had objected to my probing her again with my prick, but saying I
should otherwise not give her a farthing she consented. My delight
was increased by the power I found I had of making her howl whenever I
shoved vigorously, and I nearly knocked my prick through into her womb I
imagine. The more she howled the more I banged my prick up her, the more
I enjoyed her.
</p>
<p>
When it was over I asked how she had spent her money. Out burst the
little animal into tears. "She made me drop it, I didn't spend any of
it sir, I lost it." "You dropped it yourself," said Kitty. "You lie."
"I don't." "She does,"&mdash;and so on, and I got at the facts when Kitty had
vigorously slapped the face of her friend, and called her fifty times a
<i>foule</i>.
</p>
<p>
Going into the Strand the girl had the money in her hand, Kitty told her
to put it into her pocket. She refused. Kitty said she would lose it,
and just then she dropped it close by a sewer-grating, down which the
half-sovereign went. The girl cried, the two quarrelled, and there was
soon a crowd round them. Kitty said that the girl's mother had given her
a half-sovereign to buy some bread with, and she had lost it. Some one
gave the girl sixpence, the crowd dispersed, and Pol lost the fruits of
her first fucking. Never was lost a virginity so poorly rewarded. I did
not make up her loss, but gave her half-a-crown with which she was well
contented. I certainly was in luck to get all this fun for such trifling
sums, I being still in poorish circumstances. Five years before I would
have given thirty pounds for the same, and had paid two hundred for
Louise.
</p>
<p>
Giving Kitty three and six, and beginning to put on my drawers she said,
"Oh! do it to me, you have done it to her." "Do you want it?" "Yes."
"Feel my cock." Kitty grasped it eagerly, we got on to the bed, Pol
watched now the graceful manipulation, insertion, and wriggles of
pleasure of her friend, for Kitty was fast learning fucking, though
quite innocent of the art of frigging. I never knew such a bungler as
she was at her first attempt at that.
</p>
<p>
I grew tired of ugly little Pol when I had bored her a few times, and
would not have her again. Kitty I continued to see, she was a most
amusing girl. Too young on the town to have learnt the tricks and
cunning of a harlot, naturally frank and truthful, with some liking for
me (for she looked forward to our voluptuous dallyings), she gave me for
a long time much amusement, and I heard the incidents of her short life.
She would jabber like a magpie about them when she knew me well, which
she soon did, and began to look to me regularly for her supply of money.
</p>
<p>
She used directly she caught sight of me, to walk as fast as possible
towards the house, and get in before me. She was in the room waiting and
grinning when I got there. "Shall I take off my things?" "Yes." Off
they went, and on to the bed the plump white-skinned little girl rolled
whilst I undressed at leisure. "Open your legs Kit, and let's see your
cunt." How she clutched my prick the moment I was by the side of her. It
really was very nice.
</p>
<p>
She said, "I buy things to eat, I can't eat what mother gives us, she is
poor, and works very hard, she'd give us more, but she can't; so I
buys food, and gives the others what mother gives me, they don't know
better,&mdash;if mother's there I eat some, sometimes we have only gruel and
salt; if we have a fire we toast the bread, but I can't eat it if I am
not dreadful hungry." "What do you like?" "Pies and sausage-rolls,"
said the girl smacking her lips and laughing, "oh! my eye ain't they
prime,&mdash;oh!" "That's what you went gay for?" "I'm not gay," said she
sulkily. "Well what you let men fuck you for." "Yes." "Sausage-rolls?"
"Yes, meat-pies and pastry too."
</p>
<p>
"What did you let the first man do it to you for?" "I don't know, he
came up to me and told me he'd give me some money, if I would go to
a house with him,&mdash;he only wanted to talk with me, and I was then so
hungry. He took me to No. 4, just opposite here, and did it to me."
"What did he give you?" "Five shillings." "You had never had it before?"
"Never." "I don't believe you." "I never had, I'm only fifteen and
a little,&mdash;he met me in the Strand near where you did," she cried
indignantly. "Did he hurt you?" "Yes, and made me bleed,&mdash;I was upset,
and didn't think much about it till I got home and found my shemmy
bloody. I washed it, and put it on again quite wet, so that mother
mightn't know."
</p>
<p>
As she talked she would feel my cock, every now and then raise her head
to look at it, fall back again as if satisfied, and go on feeling it and
talking.
</p>
<p>
She was intensely curious about my prick, would lay and examine it for
half-an-hour at a time silently. One day after feeling it she asked
if she might do what she liked with it. Certainly. She moved on to her
knees (we were both stark naked on the bed, and had fucked not long
before), and began feeling it, skinning, then covering the tip, looking
under the balls and smelling it. "How smooth and red it is," said
she,&mdash;"Does that hurt?" and she rubbed her finger over the tip orifice.
"A little,&mdash;wet your finger," She did. "Shall I wet it with my tongue?"
"Do." She licked it, and bit by bit put it into her mouth, asking me
occasionally if she hurt me. I laid amused with the sexual promptings of
her nature. She took it out of her mouth, put it in again, then it got
stiff, then she laughed. "Isn't it funny?" said she, "how smooth and red
it is,&mdash;first it's flabby, then it's stiff,"&mdash;and she relinquished it,
laying down across me, and contemplating it quite silently.
</p>
<p>
"Did you do that to the other gentleman?" I asked. "Oh! no, never,&mdash;I
didn't think about it,&mdash;only one on em stopped long,"&mdash;and she told me
about all of their doings. She could never make out but seven, though
she always asserted there were eight who had had her before me.
</p>
<p>
I did not like either cock-sucking or cunt-licking at that epoch, and
stopped Kitty who was bent on stiffening it with her mouth. She had no
idea however of giving me a pleasure that way, it was simply curiosity
and novelty. Often she did the same thing, indeed always had a quarter
of an hour at it.
</p>
<p>
I saw her about twice a week, sometimes more, it was all she could
manage "in dodging her mother." I gave her three and sixpence each time,
which made her quite happy and contented, and it was a very economical
pleasure to me. She learnt much from me, in six weeks blushed at
nothing, and was impatient to be fucked. "Do that afterwards," would she
say if I dallied long in the preliminaries, then quietly, "Oh! ain't
it pleasure!" she added in an artless satisfied way. Then somehow she
persuaded her mother that she might go out if fine for a little time in
the afternoon, and she was let out occasionally when the mother was
at home, but which rarely was the case; and then I saw the pretty lass
almost daily, but always in the afternoon; and her impatience to have
the pleasure of fucking became almost comical.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0005"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER V.
</h2>
<pre>
Kitty's antecedents.&mdash;The fishmonger's.&mdash;Jim the shopman.&mdash;
Betty the maid.&mdash;Females in bed.&mdash;Mutual curiosity.&mdash;
Letchery and frigging.&mdash;Educated in coition.&mdash;Against the
kitchen-wall.&mdash;Jim in bed.&mdash;Betty's cunt washed out.&mdash;A look
in the basin.&mdash;Cousin Grace, and cousin Bob.&mdash;Bob on the
spree.&mdash;A scuffle.&mdash;Topsy-turvy.&mdash;Arsy-versy.&mdash;Bob's semen.&mdash;
A masturbating duet.&mdash;Caught in the act.&mdash;Kicked out.
</pre>
<p>
I questioned her many a time, and put together here consecutively what
she said. She was as much pleased to gossip about it as I was.
</p>
<p>
She was the daughter of a carpenter, had been kept at home to help
her mother, till six months previously to my meeting her, when growing
restive, and I dare say her animal vigor inciting her to go forth into
the world, she went into a situation at a fishmonger's who wanted some
girl to nurse a little child, his wife being ill.
</p>
<p>
I believed she had told me most things about herself from the time the
doodle had first penetrated her: yet why had not such a big girl been
put to earn her living? she said that her mother was always in the
family way, or a child was ill, so she being the biggest helped at home.
</p>
<p>
But she had been in service, about all of which she told me one hot
afternoon. Ice was then a luxury, they charged two pence extra for a
bottle of gingerbeer iced. She was fond of gingerbeer, we had some iced
with sherry, and lay on the bed drinking it as she told me her story
bit by bit. This is an account of my doings, and not of tales told me by
others, but I must tell <i>her</i> tale, for I believed every bit of it, and
it is almost part of my own, and this is how it came out.
</p>
<p>
"If you never spent with a man till you did with me, you had frigged
yourself." "I never did till the gal at the fishmonger's did it to
me,&mdash;we slept together." "Then you had been in service?" "Only two
months, I went to mind a little child."
</p>
<p>
The fishmonger was a little struggling tradesman, in a house with a
shop on the ground-floor, and a little back-parlour, and kitchens, and a
cellar below where they kept fish-baskets.
</p>
<p>
Over the shop were two rooms, one was the fishmonger's bed-room, and two
bed-rooms above. The wife was confined to her bed, and her husband slept
alone in the back-room which was usually the female servant's; so the
servant was put into a bed on the top-floor. This maid cooked, cleaned,
did everything, and had an eye as well to the shop if her Mistress was
ill, and when Master and his man were out; but she could not mind the
child as well. The fishmonger asked the carpenter if he knew of a strong
steady lass, the carpenter named his own girl, and Kitty went for grub,
lodging, and one and six a week. She was to sleep with the maid on the
top-floor over the rooms where Master and Mistress slept. The servant's
name was Betty.
</p>
<p>
The fishmonger drank. A young man named Jim went with him to market, and
sometimes without him if he had been very drunk over night. Jim opened
the shop, harnessed the horse and cart, and every night when the Master
went to bed, Jim went to the underground kitchen, opened a cupboard,
pulled down something called a bed, and slept there.
</p>
<p>
Jim was up first, and to bed but last, could not go to bed till the
maid-of-all-work was out of the kitchen. Jim pissed in the sink, and
made his own bed every morning as soon as he got up, which was done
by turning it up somehow into the cupboard, and then he called up his
Master and the maid. The privy was in the yard.
</p>
<p>
Kitty took charge of the child, and the first night as she was going to
bed and took her things off Betty said, "Where is your night-gown?" "I
ain't got none," said Kitty, "I sleep in my shemmy." Betty tossed up
her head. Kitty cried. "Father's a poor man," said she, "but he's
respectable, and though I sleeps in my shemmy I am very clean, I washes
all over every day,&mdash;look at my legs and my neck,&mdash;but with my first
week's wages I'll buy a night-gown."
</p>
<p>
"Never mind," said Betty, "you <i>are</i> clean, and you're fat,&mdash;your
dad gives you lots of grub,&mdash;don't cry, I only said, 'where's your
night-gown?'&mdash;Lord you are fat for your age!&mdash;how old did you say you
were?&mdash;why what a big bum you've got for your age!"
</p>
<p>
Kitty had been staring at Betty, and the hair on the bottom of her
belly. "She was so hairy," said Kitty to me, "I had never seen a woman
naked before, and the hair on her belly made me look." "Say on her cunt
Kitty." "Well on her cunt,&mdash;such lots, and so black,&mdash;I had seen gals'
things, my cousins used to show me theirs, and I showed them mine to see
how our hair was coming; but I did not think a woman could grow such a
lot there."
</p>
<p>
It was a cold night, the girl and the woman were in bed. "Come closer,
we will be warmer." Kitty got closer, then Bet began feeling Kitty. How
smooth, how soft she was, how plump, and not quite fifteen?&mdash;what a
bum,&mdash;why her thighs were quite large. "Oh! don't mind I want to warm my
hand, between your thighs, put your hand between mine,&mdash;there,&mdash;you've
just a little hair coming on your thing,&mdash;feel mine, it's like the hair
on your head, isn't it?&mdash;I am only twenty-five,&mdash;but when you are
twenty you will have as much Kitty. Your hand is cold, put it between
my thighs, we will warm each other there. What a nice little thing your
cunt is," said Betty feeling the little one's.
</p>
<p>
Soon the very first night they felt each other's flesh, Kitty wondering
at the cunt and hair of the grown woman, Betty thinking perhaps of what
I can only guess at. Kitty went to sleep with one hand between Betty's
thighs, and awaking in the night felt Betty again who was asleep and
snoring. She was a stout, big-built, fat-arsed, black-bristle-cunted
woman (that is from Kitty's description), but she must have been older
than she said, for the hair was thick and black in her armpits, and she
had slight hair on her lips besides.
</p>
<p>
Betty got more free next night. "You've a sweetheart, and you let him
feel this little thing,&mdash;the men call it cunt." Kitty said she had not,
and had not been felt. "I know better, you let him put his cock up it."
Kitty did not. "What never been fucked?&mdash;that is what men call it,&mdash;let
me feel." "No." Betty felt Kitty's cunt, and hurt her. "Well I don't
believe you have,&mdash;you are a stupid,&mdash;it's half the pleasure of
life,&mdash;feel my cunt,&mdash;give me your hand,&mdash;there your fingers are on
it,&mdash;oh! it don't hurt, you may feel right up."
</p>
<p>
Kitty was overwhelmed and ashamed. "I did not like it, but yet I felt so
curious that I let my fingers go where she placed them, and I felt all
about her thing." "Cunt Kitty." "Well about her cunt."
</p>
<p>
So gradually at night the elder led on the younger, by talking, feeling,
and telling the little one all she knew, explaining the pleasures of
fucking, the male mysteries, and male tastes and habits, although she
was what was called respectable, and worked hard for her living as
maid-of-all-work.
</p>
<p>
Betty pushed matters further. "I don't quite believe you are a
maid,&mdash;let me look,&mdash;would you not like to look at me?&mdash;show me yours,
I'll show you mine." Curiosity to see the cunt of a full-grown woman
took possession of Kit.
</p>
<p>
On Sunday Jim had a holiday, the shop was shut, Allwork cooked the
dinner, then the fishmonger had grog, and went to lie down, Betty went
up to clean herself, Kitty and the child went up with her then Kitty
showed her cunt, and Betty showed hers. "It was big, and such lots of
hair,&mdash;I'd never seen one before," said Kitty, "she pulled it open wide,
afterwards she pulled mine open, and we looked at each other over and
over again. I'd seen my little sister's and cousin's, and two or three
other gals' things, but they were all young; I'd never seen a big
woman's."
</p>
<p>
Kitty getting bolder asked if she had ever let a man do it to her. Yes,
she had been married, and knew all about it. "You never had a child?"
"Never you little fool, there are lots of ways of stopping that,&mdash;oh!
I love it, I wish I had a nice young man with a big prick here.&mdash;I wish
you were a man." She took Kitty in her arms, and put her on the bed.
"There, lay still on your back, open your legs, and I'll show you how a
man gets on." Kitty did. Then she pulled Kitty on to her, and made her
play the man. "There, move,&mdash;push your cunt up against mine,&mdash;up and
down,&mdash;quick,&mdash;there, that's how the man moves when he is fucking till
he spends,&mdash;then Lord! ain't he quiet!"
</p>
<p>
Within a week the experienced woman talking to the girl about fucking,
had described its pleasures, explained its mysteries, acted and the mode
and manner of the doing, until Kitty felt wild to see, feel, and act it
for herself.
</p>
<p>
"Don't you ever frig yourself?" said Bet. "No." "You know what it is?"
"Yes." Betty told of the pleasure a finger could bring her, but Kitty
was not forward in sexual wants, and she had not frigged herself or
known sexual pleasure in her cunt up to that time, though she had
fingered herself.
</p>
<p>
"I'll frig you," said she. Kitty objected, but the talk of prick, of the
delight of the male and female in feeling and rubbing each other upset
Kitty, who was growing older, and whose animalism was perhaps rampant
that night. She feft a lovely sensation all over her as Bet rubbed her
cunt, and she spent. Betty then took Kit's fingers, and rubbed her own
cunt. "What with <i>your</i> fingers?" "Yes Kitty's fingers," and rubbed them
on her clitoris, and frigged herself with them, Kit supposed.
</p>
<p>
That same night alying sleepless under the excitement of the novel
pleasure whilst Allwork snored, Kitty frigged herself. The next night
they frigged together. Betty said, "It's poor pleasure,&mdash;I likes a man,
and you'll like a chap,&mdash;some one will fancy you soon,&mdash;you let him do
it. When you have a great stiff cock up your cunt poking and poking,
and poking away,&mdash;oh! it's delicious, and you won't like frigging after
that."
</p>
<p>
One night the fishmonger was out, Kitty put the child to bed (he had
the child to sleep in his bed usually). Bet and Kit were in the
shop-parlour, and Jim in the shop. Betty went down to the kitchen, Jim
soon afterwards told Kit to give an eye to the shop, and call him if
wanted, and down he went. Kitty who had been sharpened in three weeks,
who had seen Jim kissing Betty, and giving her funny pokes when he
thought no one was looking, went to the kitchen-stairs, and going down
a few steps slowly and peeping; saw Betty with her back up against the
wall, Jim close up to her and his hands round her, and his bum moving in
a funny way. She knew they were fucking, and fearful of being detected
came softly into the shop again; but she made a noise. Up came Betty,
the Master came home, and told Betty to go to bed, and Jim to shut up.
Soon after Betty washed her cunt. That seems to have been an operation
that Kitty never had seen her perform excepting on Sundays. Kitty then
felt sure that she had caught Bet at the pleasant exercise, for she had
heard how something thick and white came out of the man's cock, and how
it was wise to wash the cunt out afterwards.
</p>
<p>
Betty seems to have been suspicious, for she began asking why she had
come down the stairs. To call Jim, a customer having come&mdash;but he had
gone away she replied. Betty was too clever to take that in. Did she see
her, she asked. Kitty had seen her and Jim standing close up in front of
her, "and he was moving about, and I told her," said Kitty.
</p>
<p>
Kitty on being pressed said she thought they were doing what Betty had
said men and women did. "Fucking me?" "Yes." He was doing nothing of the
sort, that she would swear; but they did it sometimes, for he was going
to marry her soon, and after making Kitty promise not to tell, they went
to sleep. "If you tell," said the knowing older one, "you will lose your
place."
</p>
<p>
Next night Betty said, "You be quiet, Jim is going to marry me soon,
only he don't wish it known, he is coming up when Master's asleep, and
going to lay down by the side of me,&mdash;you sham to be asleep." Kitty
remarked, "He can't lay here all night." No, when he had had his
pleasure he would go. Kitty had fear come over her, but promised, then
fell asleep, but awakened, and heard Jim say in a whisper, "She sleeps
like a top." Then was a rustling and rumpling about, and Jim cried, "Oh!
cunt," Betty said, "hush!" they kissed, sighed, and Jim crept softly
away, Betty got out and washed her cunt in the dark, and found Kit was
awake.
</p>
<p>
This went on for several nights, Betty had oiled the lock and hinges of
the door, and when she heard the Master go up to bed, would softly open
the door, and leave it ajar. When Jim had emptied his ballocks he would
leave and close the door gently, Bet would light the candle, and wash
her cunt. One night she said to Kitty, "Come and see the stuff that
comes out of a man's prick." Kitty jumped out of bed, saw the seminal
sediment that Betty had washed out of her, and stood looking at Jim's
spendings at the bottom of the wash-stand basin. "Look how thick it is,"
said Bet. "We have no thick stuff, have we?" Then she felt it. "You are
a beast," said Kit. "Wait till you have a sweetheart," said Bet.
</p>
<p>
"Why," said I to Kit, "I asked you before if you had seen any one frig,
and you said only your cousin." "Yes," replied she, "my cousin Grace,
you didn't ask me about any one else, but I did see a young man once do
it to himself," added Kitty, "it was my cousin Bob."
</p>
<p>
I made her tell me all about that. She had cousins male and female, one
named Grace her friend, and a cousin Bob, who used to go and see them;
he was a favorite of Kitty's mother, a lad of sixteen, a carpenter.
Grace must have been about a year older than Kitty.
</p>
<p>
Kitty's parents lived in two rooms, and had the right to use a
wash-house. I am sure from all she said they were steady working-people.
The mother went out sometimes charring, leaving Kitty at home to mind
the children. She was useful at home, mended and made their linen. Grace
often used to help her at needle-work.
</p>
<p>
Before Kit went to the fishmonger's she was at home one day mending, and
Grace with her. Grace was always talking about what she knew, and had
frigged herself before Kit. Kit had tried to frig, but got nothing but
a pleasant sort of feeling, nothing approaching the luscious crisis that
she felt when Betty tried her middle-finger on her clitoris.
</p>
<p>
A knock at the door. "Who is there?" "Bob." Kitty had been forbidden
under pain of having her ears boxed, to let Bob or any one else in when
her parents were out. "You can't come in," she cried. "Let's in for a
minute, I've got something to tell you." "Tell me through the door." "No
they will hear upstairs." "No." Bob began rapping a tune with his fists
on the door. Grace said, "The lodgers will tell your mother." Bob who
seems to have been a little fresh said, "Oh! won't you be sorry," and
tramped downstairs.
</p>
<p>
A noise outside. "Why there he is again." "Is that you Bob?" No reply.
"See if it's some one else." There was a shuffling outside. Grace got
up and cautiously opened the door peeping. A big foot was thrust in, and
she couldn't close it, then pushing the door wide open, and himself into
the room comes Bob. Probably with the instinct of what might follow Kit
had thrust the two children into the bed-room. Females are strange and
cunning animals; even at an early age, cunt is always ready, always
inciting, and preparing them for cock; knowing or unknowingly, whether
for intrigue, or objectless, or for the delight of doing what is
forbidden; cunt is always inciting the female to help the male, for
"cock and cunt must come together," as poor Fred said.
</p>
<p>
Bob was making a half-holiday, had had enough beer to elevate him, and
was of an age at which a prick has a habit of getting inconveniently
stiff. If you can't afford to pay for cunt, or don't know a cunt which
will take you up it for love, your prick is a restless article, which
will insist on the buttocks pushing it somewhere or somehow, till the
stiffness is taken out of it.
</p>
<p>
A frisky youth with restless cods was in the room with two girls, one of
whom was also frisky, and the younger inquisitive. They got joking, he
kissed them, they tickled him, till he threw himself on the floor, and
rolled about as the girls tormented him, and thought they were getting
the best of him. He suddenly caught hold of them both, pulled them on to
the floor in a heap, one on the top of him one by his side, and holding
one one way, and the second another way, managed to put his hand on to
one's cunt, turned the other over, and lifting up her clothes slapped
her naked backside; they struggling and crying out at the attack on
their sacred privates, he fighting, overturning, and exposing the limbs
of the lasses, until, as Kitty said, "he's seed all we'd got to be seen
over and over again."
</p>
<p>
This quieted Kitty and Grace. When released they called him a
blackguard, and told him to go out of their room. "I'll tell my mother,"
said Kitty. "Tell her," said Bob, "tell her you saw this," pulling out a
stiff prick, "as stiff as yours," said Kitty, who was laying at the side
of the bed feeling my cock about whilst telling me.
</p>
<p>
"We turned away, then turned round, it was still out, he had got it in
his hand, and was grinning. Grace said, 'Let's go to the children',
and burst out laughing, so did I, because she did." Kitty stopped her,
saying, "Don't let the children see him, they may tell mother." After a
time they turned round again, the fascination of the prick was on them,
both wanted to see it. Grace winked at Kitty. "Go away Bob," said Grace,
"you'll get Kitty's ears boxed if it's known you have come in." "Don't
care," said Bob, "show me your cunts, and I will. Cocky, cunty, cocky,
cunty," he sang out, "look here,&mdash;come and feel it."
</p>
<p>
"I don't know what you mean," said Grace turning round again. (Kitty
said that Grace told her afterwards she wanted to see as much of his
thing as she could.) "Show us the crack between your thighs." "You
beast, I've a good mind to hit you," said Grace. "Come on," said he.
"You go." "Feel my prick first." "I won't." "You Kitty." "I won't you
beast." "But," said she, "I was curious like to feel it for all I said
'no' to him, and so was Grace."
</p>
<p>
Bob ran at Grace, and catching her, pulled up her clothes, and felt her;
then running after Kit, he did the same, the whole three were yelling,
Bob with his prick out promising to go if they felt him, they frightened
of the mother coming home.
</p>
<p>
They were much agitated now, the children in the bed-room were crying
at the row, and both girls threatening to call the lodger upstairs.
"Let me," said he, "let me put my cock just on your naked thighs,&mdash;do,
&mdash;do,&mdash;do,&mdash;only for a minute." "Shan't you beast." "Oh! I must do it,"
said Bob, "I must,&mdash;hooo," and then sitting down on a chair, Bob
closed his eyes, frigged away, and saying, "Oh! it ought to be in your
ck&mdash;ck&mdash;cunt," spent, the two girls looking at him and at the sperm
jetting out on to the floor.
</p>
<p>
They stood looking, never uttered a word, and fear came over them lest
Kitty's mother should come home, and catch him there with his cock out,
and his sperm on the floor. "Go, there is a good young man,&mdash;mother will
be home directly,&mdash;oh! that's her footstep,&mdash;run upstairs, and wait till
she's in." Bob whose nervous system was I dare say a little shaken by
his frig, buttoned up his trousers, and ran out of the room. The girls
locked the door and listened,&mdash;it was not the mother, then they began to
talk.
</p>
<p>
"That's it on the floor,&mdash;that's what comes out of a man's cock when he
puts it up a woman's thing," said Grace,&mdash;"it's that which gets a woman
in the family way,&mdash;it's that which gives them both pleasure when they
do it together, when <i>his</i> thing is up <i>her</i> thing."
</p>
<p>
Grace told all she knew, that when her mother was "lying in," she once
peeped through a key-hole, and saw her father frig himself. They talked
of the pleasure they had heard it gave the woman to have that warm
injection up her. Grace frigged herself, Kitty tried but got no
pleasure, they sat opposite each other on chairs, Bob's spunk still on
the floor. That was the only time she had ever seen spunk till she
saw Jim's in the wash-hand basin. "Should you like to see mine Kitty?"
"Shouldn't I!" said she. "You shall some day,"&mdash;and one day she frigged
me.
</p>
<p>
Kitty was quite artless when she told me this, she had taken a liking to
me, though I did not then know it, and was delighted to tell me all, it
seemed quite a relief to her to do so. She had never spoken to any one
else about it. To a man? she should think not,&mdash;it was not likely, and
though I asked her often and often about it at times she never varied
the account. I believed it implicitly, and that is why I narrate it
here.
</p>
<p>
Several nights Jim served Betty so, till one night Kitty sneezed. "The
girl's awake," said Jim. "Who is that?" said Kitty shamming, though she
knew full well. "It's Jim,&mdash;you won't tell, will you?" said Betty. "I
have told her you are going to marry me,&mdash;have I not Kit?" Jim went on
tailing his mistress, but now that he knew Kit was awake he put out his
hand and felt Kitty's bum whilst fucking. "Did you tell Betty that?"
said I. "No," said Kit laughing.
</p>
<p>
Next night Betty who seems to have taken delight in debauching Kit, made
her feel Jim's prick, she pulled her hand to it. "I thought I liked to
feel, but I shammed that I did not." "Was it big?" "It seemed bigger
than yours, but I didn't see it."
</p>
<p>
This went on for a fortnight or so, Kitty feeling always afraid that
they would be found out, and so it came to pass. Illicit fucking in a
house not your own is sure to bring trouble.
</p>
<p>
The Mistress' sister came to nurse her, and slept in her room. Betty
said the sister gave a lot of trouble, and was always poking her nose
where she had not business to poke it. Jim did not come up for one or
two nights, he had heard some one moving either in the Master's, or
in the sick woman's room. Kitty was glad of it. Jim I suppose at last
randied out of his prudence one night, and Betty reckless for want of
fucking, told him to come, and up he came. Then a violent knock at the
door came just as he was fucking Betty.
</p>
<p>
"Who is that?" "Me." "Wait a minute sir." "Open it, or I will break the
door open." "Wait sir, I'm not dressed." In came the door with a crash.
Jim was just by the bed, Kitty standing by Betty, for both got up.
At the door was the Master and his sister-in-law. "You damned whoring
bitch," said the Master to Betty, "at day-light out you go from my
house."
</p>
<p>
The sister-in-law turned down the bed, looked at it, and then at Kitty.
"Please Maam it's no fault of mine," said Kit. "You dirty little hussy,
why did you not tell what was going on,&mdash;your father shall hear of
this." "Dress yourself," said the fishmonger to Betty. "Leave them alone
till the morning," said the sister-in-law,"&mdash;and both left the room. Jim
half-dressed, without speaking a word, had crept downstairs whilst the
talk was going on. The Master did not speak to him at all.
</p>
<p>
"They will sack us both," said Betty. Kitty began to cry. "You are a
fool, there are lots of places. I hope old Vinegar-Chops liked the look
of it," said Betty lifting up the towel (there were the drippings from
Betty's cunt on it),&mdash;"I dare say the sour-faced beast knows what it
is,&mdash;-don't you cry, you will get a living if your father does turn you
out, any girl can so long as she has a good face, and something warm
between her thighs." That was Betty's comfort to Kitty.
</p>
<p>
After breakfast the Master put Betty outside the door, Kitty's mother
was sent for, who boxed her ears all the way home, and the father
knocked her down when he came home. "If I thought you'd turn a whore,"
said he, "I'd murder you." She told her mother the truth entirely, but
only got her ears boxed still more,&mdash;she should have told her Master,
the mother said. After this she was again kept at home, a short time
after her father died, her mother changed her quarters, keeping her
indoors to take care of the children, and had no idea that her daughter
was getting fucked to enable her to buy sausage-rolls, as well as for
the pleasure of having a male.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0006"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER VI.
</h2>
<pre>
Sausage-rolls, and consequences.&mdash;Kitty's home.&mdash;The little
ones.&mdash;A saucy cabman.&mdash;Catamenia.&mdash;Fucking economies.&mdash;
Changing money.&mdash;Pol and the bargee.&mdash;Kit implicated.&mdash;A
black eye and bruised rump.&mdash;-A little boy's cock.&mdash;
Preparation for travel.&mdash;'Kit's regret.&mdash;Bessie in tears.&mdash;
Amusements abroad.&mdash;Home again.&mdash;Kitty a strumpet.&mdash;An
evening at B.w Street.&mdash;Kitty's eight months doings.
</pre>
<p>
One day I took some sausage-rolls to the baudy house, she clawed hold
of one directly. "Ain't they prime!" said she, and never ceased till
she had finished them all&mdash;such a lot,&mdash;then she turned pale. "I must go
home," she said. "Why?" She began putting on her things. "What is your
hurry?" "I can't wait." "Are you ill?" "Yes,&mdash;yes,&mdash;I must go." "Then I
won't pay you." "I'm not well." "How,&mdash;you want to go to the privy!" "I
do," said the girl hanging her head. I rang the bell, told the woman to
show the lass where to ease herself. When she came back I could not
get her to look me in the face, and thinking of her operation gave me
a distaste for her that day, so I let her go without doing anything.
Ridiculous that of course, but I tell things just as they occurred.
</p>
<p>
When it rained, and she could not meet me, how angry she was. "If I buy
an umbrella mother will wonder where I got it." Once she nearly got wet
through, and I did not see her that time, because I did not expect her
to be out.
</p>
<p>
She told me where she lived, and I arranged that if it rained I would go
to the front of the house in a cab. I did that once only, and the cabman
insolently demanded about five times his fare when I got down at E&mdash;&mdash;r
Street, saying I had enticed a young girl into the cab. "Yer haught to
be glad to be let orf with ten bob," said cabby, "think yerself lucky a
peeler don't drop on you for taking a young gal like that,&mdash;yah! you're
a swell, ain't yer?&mdash;yah!&mdash;yah!&mdash;poop!"&mdash;and off he drove.
</p>
<p>
She began to deplore her poor dress, bought a pair of white stockings,
and I kept them for her, because she was afraid of taking them home.
"Oh! ain't I kept under," said she, "I hate it,&mdash;I have a good mind to
bolt." "Then you will turn gay." "Well I would like to dress nice, and
do as I like, instead of minding children and working." I persuaded her
not.
</p>
<p>
"Have you had no other man but me for the last two months?" "Only one,"
she said, "but I'm never out if it rains, and I can't get out of nights
cause of mother, and I wash and mend,&mdash;so how can I?" "I'll go and ask
for some one else at your room, to see if you're in or not." "Do,&mdash;if I
don't open the door, mother will, on Monday I'll take the brats into the
Waterloo road for a walk." She did, and I saw her. How short her clothes
were! a carman as he passed stooped down, and gave her legs a pinch. Her
mother was at home.
</p>
<p>
The girl grew fast, each week she seemed bigger than the week
previously, the sausage-rolls agreed with her, the hair on her cunt
lengthened,&mdash;she was so pleased when I remarked it,&mdash;her desire was to
have as much hair on her quim as Betty had. Then she began to get heavy,
dull, and drooping. One day I had her on the side of the bed, just for
variety sake, for sometimes I found it delightful to see my prick up to
its roots in her, and the next instant its tip. Her cunt felt very wet,
looking at my half-uncunted prick it was covered with blood. I pulled
it out, a red stream followed running all over her chemise. I had never
seen such a sight before when fucking, and only once I think since,
though I have poked women in that state.
</p>
<p>
"What is the matter?" said I startled for the moment, "you're poorly?"
</p>
<p>
"Oh!" cried out the girl, "I must go to mother,&mdash;ohl let me go." I tried
to comfort her, she took no notice of me, but dressed and ran out of the
house quickly, white with terror and without her money. That night I
had Brighton Bessie, and told her about it. Bessie said the dirty little
bitch ought to be flogged by the hangman; if she had her way all such
young bitches should be sent to prison, and the men who had them ought
to be punished as well.
</p>
<p>
Kit's first poorliness had come on, that accounted for her dullness, she
had no idea of what was taking place in her, her mother had not warned
her. Of course, the girl knew of the ailment common to her sex, but
her monthlies had taken her by surprise. I never knew a girl more
unaffectedly modest than Kitty was the next time she met me after her
accident, as we called it.
</p>
<p>
Said she one day, "Give me a sovereign for this silver (savings out of
the money I had given her), I don't know where to put it, it jingles in
my pocket,&mdash;I am afraid of dropping it, and mother finding it out."
</p>
<p>
She had put it in a crack between the skirting and the inside of a
cupboard lining as near as I could make out, until it was a pound's
worth. "What a pity I can't buy some nice clothes, is it not?" said she.
Poor Kitty was amusing, but I saw she was brewing mischief after she had
had her monthlies, or was what she called "a full woman." Several times
as she took my money she said it was no good to her, as she could only
buy things to eat. She was getting restless. When I told her I should be
in the Strand one day, if it were not wet. "Oh! do come, if it's wet or
not,&mdash;I <i>will</i> meet you." "But your mother?" "Don't care,&mdash;if she says
anything I'll tell her I'll run away."
</p>
<p>
Said she one day, "Hasn't Pol got it? her mother has nearly murdered
her,&mdash;oh! Lor she is bruised all over." Then she told me that the little
dark girl I had had was caught in the privy with a man,&mdash;"oh! such a big
un, he is much taller than you,&mdash;she was standing on the privy-seat with
her legs wide open, and he was trying to do it to her." The mother had
suspected, had the little imp watched, and caught the man in the
act. "How he could do it I don't know," said Kit, "but he is a
bargeman,&mdash;such a big man!&mdash;and the little beast stood on the privy-seat
too." Kitty was scandalized at that.
</p>
<p>
It was some days before I saw her again, then she was slovenly and had a
black eye, and began to cry. "It's mother," she sobbed, "look here." She
pulled off her things, and showed me wales and bruises. "Mother did it,"
said she sobbing, "my bottom's bruised,&mdash;she held me down, and hit me
with a brush,&mdash;look," said Kitty turning up her lily-white arse for me
to see.
</p>
<p>
Her young friend who had not long before had my prick up her cunt, and
then the bargeman's, had sought to excuse herself by saying Kitty was as
bad. Mother told mother, Kitty was battered by her mother, and had been
locked up, there had been row after row, till Kitty would not eat, nor
wash, nor mend,&mdash;she fought her mother, she threatened to run away, and
to turn gay. Said the mother, "Your father always said you would, he
would turn round in his grave if he knew what you are saying.
</p>
<p>
"I made my brother's cock stiff," said she one day as she was playing
what we called cherry-bob with my prick, i.e. taking the tip in her
mouth when it was limp, and shooting it out again, just as you see
children do with cherries. "Your little brother?" "Yes,&mdash;I washed him,
pulled it backwards and forwards, as if I were washing him, so that he
should not know what I was about." "Did it get stiff?" "Quite, and he
seemed to like it," said she, "he asked me to go on doing it."
</p>
<p>
During all this time I had occasionally seen Bessie, for a youthful
cunt never did give me full physical enjoyment, nor fetch me like a
full-grown one, although as an occasional letch it was delicious. After
her monthlies had arranged themselves I fancied Kitty was more luscious,
and her discharge more copious, yet I often used to think of the
spanking posteriors and full crisp-haired cunt of Bessie whilst
operating on Kit. A light-haired quim I also never liked, it was the
artlessness, frankness, and freshness of Kitty which kept me to her so
long.
</p>
<p>
I was going abroad. When I told Kitty this she broke into tears. "Oh!
what shall I do!&mdash;don't go," said she. The little lass was fond of me;
a thing I never had dreamed of. She promised me to go to service, and
leave off fucking; but she never did.
</p>
<p>
Then I told Bessie, and she began to cry, and said, "It's always the
way,&mdash;directly I like a man I lose him." I thought she was shamming, but
the last night I had her, she would take no money, said if I gave it to
her, she would throw it into the streets.
</p>
<p>
Glad to be from England, alone,&mdash;alone, I hoped to be sent to&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;,
but got no further than&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;. There I had women enough. All women
there were examined by medical men weekly, just as they are at&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;,
and many a fine Spanish woman, and coarse but well-built English woman
I had for half-a-crown a piece. I was recalled after seven months, and
within a few days was in the Strand, but saw no Kitty until one night in
early Summer. "Oh! it's you,&mdash;I'm so glad," said a female. It was Kitty,
delighted. I did not know her for the instant, but in ten minutes we
were fucking. How glad she was to see me; she was a well grown young
woman, and lovely, her breasts were well developed, her calves and bum
as well, although she was not seventeen.
</p>
<p>
She had quarrelled with her mother, left, and set up as harlot. It
was wonderful what harlotry had done in giving her taste in dress,
deportment, style of walking, and even in language. She had learned the
value of her cunt, it was no longer three and six, but twenty shillings.
"I don't want <i>your</i> money," said she, "let's talk of old times." We
spent several evenings together. One man almost kept her, she thought he
was going to keep her altogether, and hoped so.
</p>
<p>
I had taken her to the house in B.w Street, quietly there we talked all
things over; we laughed over the affair of Pol and the coal-heaver, the
sausage-rolls, the lost ten shillings, the afternoon her poorliness came
on. "So you are gay,&mdash;do you like the life?" She really did, got lots of
money, and now kept her mother who had been disabled by rheumatic fever.
I saw her daily for a week or two afterwards, and we fucked to our
hearts' content. Her motte was delicately hairy now, and of dark golden
colour, slightly brownish. Then I went to the sea-side. When I came back
to London, looking for her everywhere, I could not find her, and though
I longed for her very much, was obliged to render myself happy with
others.
</p>
<p>
To complete her history I must go forward two or three years when I had
been madly in love with a gay woman as I shall tell, but had quarrelled
with her for presuming on my love, and resolutely abstained from seeing
her, doing however great violence to my affection and inclination. I
used to go to the baudy house in J...s Street (not yet mentioned), and
cry to its Mistress who would ask me to let her send to the lady of my
affection (Miss M...s),&mdash;but of this more presently.
</p>
<p>
After reading over this part of my narrative relating to Kitty written
full thirty years ago, I add these few words.
</p>
<p>
My secret life was written for my own pleasure, and to be a narrative of
what I myself saw and did, and nothing else. I have pretty well adhered
to that, but my fun with Kitty took place within a few years after I
began to write, and describe the amatory episodes as leisure inclined
me, and as they seemed to me unusually amusing or illustrative. I
arranged them in order afterwards. Nothing at that time had been so
piquant in my acquaintance with harlots as Kitty's had been. I had
not then had much to do with lasses as young as she was, the novelty
therefore I suppose made me write out her narrative intermixed with my
own, at the length it has reached.
</p>
<p>
Besides Kitty was really quite original, her freshness, frankness, and
truthfulness impressed me much, and after much experience since in the
ways of frail ones, I believe now that what she told me was mainly true,
and am sure she was delighted to get a confidant in me, to whom she
could unbosom herself unreservedly.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0007"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER VII.
</h2>
<pre>
Brighton Bessie.&mdash;Change irresistible.&mdash;Bessie in quod.&mdash;
Lewd effects.&mdash;Spooning.&mdash;Her home.&mdash;Her cabman.&mdash;
Reflexions.&mdash;Two years after.&mdash;Five years later on.&mdash;The
mouse's promenade.&mdash;Bessie disappears.
</pre>
<p>
I met in the Strand one night Bessie, who put her arms round me. I
repulsed her, she saw her mistake, and followed me to a baudy house.
Inside she began kissing me excitedly, and said she was so glad to see
me back, that she did not know what she was about. It was not our usual
house, I was in a hurry, so after I had fucked her was going away. "What
one fuck only!&mdash;you have not had me for a year nearly,&mdash;I'm damned
if you go till you have given me another,&mdash;that dear old prick, I've
thought of it fifty times when I have been poked." So I fucked her
again, and afterwards resumed seeing her, for she was much to my taste
sexually. I had many voluptuous amusements with her which she liked and
invited, although I have no recollection of playing any of those curious
erotic tricks which gratified me later on in life, nice attitudes being
then for the most part enough for me. My balls were running over with
sperm in those days, and if I could control myself for a few minutes
when my prick was stiff, it was as much as I could do. Bessie was
full-blooded, and loved to take her fucking with me, kissing me
furiously as her pleasure came on. We used again to pass hours at the
house in B.w Street, reading, drinking, talking, and copulating at
intervals.
</p>
<p>
Yet I went after other women for all that, for fresh cunt was
irresistible. Once when I had been away I missed her for a few days,
then I saw her coming out of a public-house. "Oh! I'm so glad,&mdash;I've
been locked up,&mdash;it's a damned shame," she cried out, "I was marched off
without having said a word by a police-man,&mdash;blast him!&mdash;and all because
I would not let the bugger fuck me one night up in &mdash;&mdash;&mdash; Street,&mdash;I'd
never let a policeman touch me,&mdash;damn them all." She spoke loud to a man
and two or three sympathizing women, a mob began to gather round her, so
noisy was she.
</p>
<p>
I turned as quickly as I could up a side-street, she following me. "Oh!
come my dear, come,&mdash;how glad I am to see you,&mdash;I did nothing but think
of you whilst I was locked up,&mdash;oh! God I'm dying for a fuck,&mdash;a whole
fortnight I've not had it, and I did nothing but think of you when I
frigged myself." There was a roar of laughter from half-a-dozen women
who had followed her. "Shut up," said some one. "Ain't she a letting
out!" said another. "Ain't you ashamed of yourself?" said a third. "It's
one of her men," said another. "She is a nice woman," said some one
else. "It was a damned shame," said another. "I know him," said a voice,
"he wants every woman in the Strand, and if he don't get them he walks
them off." "Yes the bugger." "She is just out." "Yes, and he quodded
Mary Summers last night." "And he is a married man with a large
family,"&mdash;and so on. I felt overwhelmed, and inclined to run away. She
turned into the first house which had a door open, and I was glad when
the friendly red-curtained door closed behind me, she galloping upstairs
in front of me, showing her fat calves. I followed Bessie into a
bed-room.
</p>
<p>
"Five shillings," said the woman to me. "It's all right,&mdash;you go,&mdash;he's
an old friend of mine,&mdash;don't bother," said Bessie pushing the servant
out of the room, and slamming the door, then throwing her bonnet on
a chair she caught hold of me, gluing her lips to mine, feeling at my
trousers front she cried out, "Let's fuck,&mdash;come and fuck me,&mdash;I'm dying
for you,&mdash;a fuck from you,&mdash;oh! put your prick up." She had got it out,
threw herself on the bed opening her thighs wide, and showing her cuntal
beauties, calling on me to fuck her. I mounted her immediately, it was
impossible to withstand her randy impetuousity; contagious lewdness
coursed through my veins.
</p>
<p>
"Oh! my God," said she as my prick drove home, "I'm coming,&mdash;oh!
my God,&mdash;fuck,&mdash;fuck,&mdash;oh! I'm spending,&mdash;oh! my
darling,&mdash;fuck,&mdash;spend,&mdash;oh!&mdash;oooh!" I never had a woman in a higher
state of randiness, she would not let me go till I had fully eased her
passions, she lavished expressions of love and tenderness on me. "Don't
pull it out,&mdash;there dear, there,&mdash;lay still on me, I'll keep it up, it
will be stiff again,&mdash;there it's stiff now." I stopped with her some
hours. A policeman on the beat she said, had taken a fancy to her, had
asked her to let him do it to her up against the dark wall at the back
of E.... r H.. l. She would not, he threatened, still she refused, so he
took her to the station one night on the plea of her annoying gentlemen,
and the magistrate gave her a fortnight in prison. She had come out that
very day, and was rather tight.
</p>
<p>
In a few weeks Bessie got more and more friendly. I was the first to
leave, and she to ask what was my hurry. When I thought I had been
detaining her too long for my moderate compliment, she would say, "Oh!
never mind, I'll make ten shillings do,&mdash;I'm not in debt,&mdash;before the
theatres are over I dare say I'll get engaged." It was impossible to
avoid seeing she was getting affectionate. She would sit or lay talking,
feeling, or kissing me for hours, whilst her expressions of pleasure
when I was stirring up her vitals equalled those of any woman who has
ever loved me or enjoyed my embraces.
</p>
<p>
One night I was charged twice for the room, for stopping long, and
said something about not being able to afford it. That brought forth a
proposition, one of the most curious I ever had in my life.
</p>
<p>
Said she, "It's a lot of money to spend on the rooms,&mdash;come to my rooms;
they would be too humble for you, but they are clean and nice,&mdash;drop me
a line, and I will always be at home,&mdash;and you would be more comfortable
than at these houses, and have nothing to pay." Then after hesitation,
and as if reflecting, she said she lived in the New North road where she
had either a small house or rooms in one, I don't quite recollect which.
"It's paid for by a friend of mine, he gives me ten shillings a week.
Now don't think little of me because I tell you this,&mdash;he is only a
cabman, he sleeps with me nearly always, he's a nice clean, steady man,
and behaves well to me; but I don't like him since I've known you. You
can come when you like, and sleep with me when you like,&mdash;I'll give
him up, he shall never come near me again, and I'll always be there for
you,&mdash;you will see what a large comfortable bed I've got,&mdash;but you must
pay for the rooms, I must feel sure of a roof over me,&mdash;I don't care
about anything else,&mdash;then you can see me when you like, give me what
you like,&mdash;nothing if you have not got it,&mdash;I don't want your money,
I'll get that as I now do."
</p>
<p>
She said all this in a humble way looking at me, tears half filled her
eyes, her tone was sad; it was in its way a clear but simple declaration
of affection for me. I saw it, felt it, but shunned it; for a strange
dislike to a gay woman loving me came over me, some sort of undefined
idea that I should be a species of fancy-man, a man whom I always
thought at that time was a baudy house bully; and the offer of Bessie
oppressed me.
</p>
<p>
I told her she was very kind, that I appreciated it, but it was a long
way off,&mdash;I would not think of it,&mdash;I did not wish her to give up a
friend for me,&mdash;that there were obstacles to my accepting which I could
not tell her of, and so on. I scarcely knew what to say in refusing
without wounding her feelings.
</p>
<p>
"I am sorry I told you, for you won't think as much of me as you
did,&mdash;it's the simple truth,&mdash;you don't believe me?&mdash;only come up and
see me." But I could not then think of displacing a cabman, I did not
even like to think of my prick having taken its pleasure in the cunt
which had wriggled the prick of a cabman. My experience in life might
have told me, had I thought about it, that the possibility was that my
prick might have rubbed up the same channel that a burglar's had. I
only saw that I was asked to displace a common man in the affection of
a street-doxy, I appreciated the affection which prompted the offer of
exchange, felt gratified and sorry at the same time, especially when I
saw tears in the poor woman's eyes.
</p>
<p>
I again said I would if it were not such a long way off, but perhaps I
would, and so on. I never did go to her house, but saw her from time to
time, until I fell madly in love with a lady of pleasure and would have
given almost my life for her to have loved me. So Bessie was avenged,
for I had fallen in love with a doxy after all.
</p>
<p>
When this infatuation occurred I ceased seeing Bessie. Then in my
trouble a year or two afterwards I sought her again, and told her my
trouble. "Ah! you would not love me when I was fond of you, but you love
her, and she plays on it,&mdash;don't you let her fool you," said Bessie,
"she has got a man,&mdash;all you give her he will get, I know it from what
you tell me." Bessie was right, but Sarah after a time as I shall tell,
did not deceive me about the matter.
</p>
<p>
Then I missed Bessie for a year or two, then found her again in the
Strand, she was much altered. "I don't think I ever liked a man to fuck
me as I do you," said she one night as she enjoyed me, "if you had but
come up to my little home you would have saved me a lot of trouble." But
I could not get out of her what she meant by that.
</p>
<p>
Full five years afterwards, when roaming about not far from the
Haymarket one night I met her, and scarcely knew her. She stopped short,
"You Bessie!" "Ah! yes it's Brighton Bessie, but I'm sadly altered, sure
enough." "And you knew me?" "Know you!&mdash;I should know you by your eyes,
if I saw nothing more of your face but your eyes,&mdash;I should know you to
the last day of your life," said she. She was always talking about my
eyes. She had seen me several times, but had not dared to accost me she
said. I told her she always might.
</p>
<p>
I took her to what had become my favorite baudy house. It was a hot
night, and we fucked on the sofa. She had become flabby, and said she
had ill health, but I could glean nothing from her about her career,
excepting that for some years she had not been gay. We stripped naked,
and had just finished fucking her on the sofa when I felt something
running over my legs, bum and back over my shoulder, on to hers. It was
instantaneous. Then I saw a mouse which had run over us, and went fast
up the wall into some red curtains where it was lost,&mdash;it made her
shudder, and me too. That is one of the odd events by which I shall
always recollect the last time I had Brighton Bessie. "You won't see me
again I dare say," said she in a plaintive tone, and a tear in her
eye as we parted. I said I dare say I should. "No you won't,&mdash;good bye
dear." With a sigh the poor woman left me, and I never saw her again.
</p>
<p>
It was whilst I was frequenting Bessie, and occasionally other doxies
that the following adventure occurred.
</p>
<p>
I was frequently now at my mother's house, my brother was away, and both
my sisters married. I used to stop with her for days together, finding
that a relief from home misery, and also agreeable company to her, who
was now so much alone. I also at times stopped with one of my sisters
whose husband I liked; the other lived some distance from London.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0008"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER VIII.
</h2>
<pre>
Washerwomen.&mdash;Matilda and Esther.&mdash;A peep over a wall.&mdash;
Eaves dropping.&mdash;A girl's wants.&mdash;Shaking a tooleywag.&mdash;A
promenade by a barrow.&mdash;Disclosures.&mdash;A snatch and a
scuffle.&mdash;An assignation.
</pre>
<p>
I went to see my mother one day in Summer, and after luncheon walked
to the end of the garden often mentioned. At one side of it was a
road which gave access to a gentleman's house, and on the other to my
mother's. There the carriage-road stopped, and a foot-path began. At the
junction was a mews wide enough for a cart, which ran at the end of our
garden and those adjoining. Our entrance to it had been disused, <i>we</i>
having one in the side-wall opening on to the road, and the neighbours
rarely used their back-entrances. The mews was grass-grown. On the
opposite side to our garden-walls was the wall of very large grounds. A
gate not locked, formed of open bars was at the end of the mews next to
the road.
</p>
<p>
The footpath mentioned passed between walls of large gardens, and the
between fields, until it joined a road on the other side of which was
the village church-yard, through which the footway passage continued
till again a high-road intervened. This continuous footway formed
a short cut to a distant part of the parish. It was not much used
excepting on Sundays, and by lovers who walked there on summer nights. I
had found out years before that the mews at the back of our house was an
occasional pissing-place, it being round the corner, and out of sight.
I used to peep over the wall in hopes of seeing a female at that
operation, mounting to do so by the gardener's ladder. When I saw a
woman piddle it was great delight to me, but I more frequently saw men
whose cocks had no attraction for me. On Sunday nights after church, the
splash and rustle of petticoats could be heard, but not seen; the sight
was however rare at any time, for few people had the boldness to push
open the gate, and enter the mews.
</p>
<p>
I never saw copulation, the greatest fun I had was once seeing a female
bogging, who turned round and gathered two or three of the largest
leaves from the lime-trees in our gardens which overhung the wall, wiped
her arse with them, and left them sticking on the top of her turds; but
she never noticed a youth peeping just over her head. One reason why I
was never detected watching was that women always turned their bums to
our wall, and so I was at the back of them. Charlotte and I have both
looked over the wall.
</p>
<p>
The wall was mostly covered with our ivy, which fell down in thick
masses on the mews side; lime-trees at intervals completed the screen.
Any one peeping down from above could be sufficiently hidden if he
put his head carefully above the wall at places, and pushed aside the
boughs. On the day I speak of, I walked round the garden thinking of old
times, of how Charlotte and I used to see if the cook was talking to
the gardener before we began our amourous play, of the pranks Fred and
others played there, and all the occurrences of my youth, which had
taken place in the house and garden.
</p>
<p>
The gardener was away. I thought I would look over the wall; so placing
the ladder got up, and looking down saw two girls sitting on the handles
of a barrow on which were baskets filled with linen. One looked about
sixteen, the other a little older. It was a dreadfully hot day, the
barrow was at the angle of the mews. They were talking, and I moved the
ladder to get a place nearer to them and not to be seen; for to watch
and hear women who thought themselves unobserved and unheard, was always
a delight to me. If you ever hear two women talking on amorous subjects,
their disclosures you will find are always charming to a man.
</p>
<p>
At the angle of our garden, and just where the road joined the mews, a
large notice-board had been put up for some purpose since I had lived
there; it was just outside and higher than our wall. Between the back of
it and the wall was a space of a few inches. Our ivy had grown up it
at places, and filled up most of the space, but enough was left at
the angle to let me look down on the barrow which was just outside the
mews-gate, out of the way of what small traffic there was, the gate of
the mews being wide open. Then of all my eaves dropping I have never yet
heard anything so amusing as I did then. The air was solemnly quiet in
the hot summer's afternoon and though the girls spoke quite softly, I
heard them well.
</p>
<p>
"I should like to feel what it is like," said the youngest whose face
was towards me. There was a mixture of fun, audacity, curiosity and
lewdness on that girl's face. "Hish! some one will hear you," and
something else I could not hear, said the other. "<i>Fuck</i>&mdash;there then,"
said the young one saucily and laughing. The older gave her a slap. "Now
you may take the things home alone,&mdash;I won't help." "If you don't I'll
tell mother." "Don't care." "Yes you do,&mdash;what did you say it
for?" "Didn't <i>you</i> say it?" "I didn't bawl it out you fool."
"<i>Fuck</i>,&mdash;there,&mdash;there," said the younger going off. "There it may stay
then," said the older angrily, and she moved also off round the corner.
They were both out of sight in a second, but I heard their voices
quarrelling, the barrow and clothes-baskets were unattended just outside
the mews-gate.
</p>
<p>
A labouring man came along in the opposite direction. Seeing the barrow
he stood and looked round in all directions, turned into the mews, and
I think he was going to steal, but thought better of it. I had peeped
quite round the board, but had dropped into the old place again, the
man turned to the wall, and pissed just under me, his head turned, and
looking at the clothes-baskets all the time, then he drew the foreskin
backwards and forwards when he had finished, till his prick was
standing, an article any man might have been proud of; he played
with it, and might have been going to frig himself had he not been
interrupted.
</p>
<p>
The girls came back round the corner just then still wrangling, they
stopped as they came on the man, who turning round shook his tooleywag
at them, and moved out of sight, but not out of my hearing. "This is the
sort of thing that would please you," said he wagging it. "Go along you
beast, I'll call a policeman." "You wouldn't call out if it was up your
cunt,"&mdash;and he walked off laughing. The girls were quiet for an instant,
and then laughed. "Hish!" said one, "he is not gone." The other looked
round the corner, and said he had; then they laughed loudly.
</p>
<p>
"Was it not big!" "Did you see it?" "Yes, and stiff,&mdash;ha&mdash;ha&mdash;ha."
"He&mdash;he&mdash;he." "It looked as if it would split any one," said the little
one who sat down on the barrow-handle again. "Sarah says the bigger it
is the better it is," said the other, and then they laughed. "Hush!"
said the bigger one, "some one may hear us." Turning her rump to the
wall she pissed just where the man had. The little one did the same,
then off they went, one trundling, the other holding the baskets steady.
They took the heavy work in turns I found.
</p>
<p>
I rushed to the house, then out, and followed the girls, a desire to
show them <i>my</i> prick was on me. As I followed my intentions cooled,
fearing they might tell a policeman. I had not the experience then that
I now have, or should have feared nothing of the sort, for girls tell
no one but each other if they see a man's prick. I overtook them in the
church-yard (they were resting again on the barrow-handles), and entered
into conversation with them, delighted at their demure faces, knowing
that they had just seen a prick, that one had said "fuck," and that
I had seen both piss. A notion of getting the younger one by herself
restrained me from blurting out what was in my mind, but my delight
really was in looking at, and talking with them, thinking that fucking
might and probably was in their mind at the moment I accosted them.
</p>
<p>
They were coarse, middle-sized, well-fed, sturdy-limbed, dark-eyed
wenches, unmistakeably sisters. Excepting for one being shorter than
the other you would scarcely have known there was a difference in their
ages; both had bare arms, one had her frock well pinned up behind over
her petticoats, both had short petticoats, thick ankles and strong
boots, a washerwoman was then not ashamed of showing what she was, and
they always wore dazzling white stockings,&mdash;and these girls did. I
asked where they lived, they answered readily. I knew the lane well, all
the washerwomen in the village were there.
</p>
<p>
In my lewdness I forgot everything but the pleasure of speaking to the
girls. A middle-aged lady passed us accompanied by two or three very
young women, who stared hard at me. The barrow-girls stood up and
curtsied as they passed, and naming them. I knew them, and a few years
before had romped and played with the young ladies, then children.
The last time I had seen them there was not a hair on any one of their
cunts; I expect that now their cunts were full-wigged, and well frigged
into the bargain. They had recognized me, as I heard from my mother
afterwards, I did not recognize them, they having grown from children to
women. I was seated on the barrow-handle as they passed.
</p>
<p>
"So you wash?" No, their mother did, they ironed, took home, and
fetched the things. What was their name?&mdash;would they meet me? and so on.
They would perhaps,&mdash;where did I live?&mdash;they did not know me. Getting
friendlier and friendlier I learned all about them, it was done in a
joking, chaffing way. I told them I lived far off, and was only on a
visit at a house close by.
</p>
<p>
They must go on really,&mdash;would I get up? No, unless they gave me a kiss.
I chivied one after the other, and caught and kissed both, they were
not difficult to catch. Then they trundled on the barrow, I walking with
them, the people we met (very few) staring at a dandy walking by the
side of two washgirls; but I took no heed then of any one who passed us,
nor cared.
</p>
<p>
We crossed the high-road into another part of the lane, and again we
stopped; more and more randy got I. "What do you think of, when you
iron the tail of a man's shirt?" "Nothing." "You know it wraps round
something different from that which a chemise does." "Does it?" said
the little one who had twice the cheek of the elder. "Yes,&mdash;it makes you
think when you iron them." No it did not,&mdash;what did I mean?&mdash;they did
not know in the least.
</p>
<p>
(What delight some girls have in their randiness in declaring they
don't understand a man's baudy chaff, the "What do you mean?" "I don't
understand" are only incitements to the man to declare his meaning in
broad, strong, baudy words; and then it's, "Oh! oh! the beast!" but
their cunts tighten with a squeeze of lust, they go off and think of it
all, and perhaps frig themselves under the recollection. But this is a
reflection the result of matured experience, and was not written at the
time this part of my narrative was.)
</p>
<p>
They turned up the high-road, and at their earnest request I fell
behind, they left the linen at a house, and brought back other baskets,
then I recommenced chaffing. When we were in the lane bounded on one
side by a wall, on the other by a ditch and corn-field. They stopped and
begged me to go, for so many people knew them on the road. Prudence told
me we had better separate, but my mind full of the idea of getting the
younger girl, I asked them to have a drink. No,&mdash;they would be seen.
Would they meet me? Yes. When? They could not say,&mdash;but I had their
address.
</p>
<p>
I am not clear why, but up till then I had not said what I had heard and
seen, but I kept it to myself, although dying to let it out. I again sat
at the edge of the barrow, and refused to get up till they both kissed
me. They could not go without the barrow, and after a little sham I
kissed them both. Then the devil took all control off of me, and as I
kissed one I felt outside her till she wriggled away from me. This in
the open lane.
</p>
<p>
"Now," said she, "Mr. Impudence, I've a good mind to slap your head for
doing of that." "I'm sure you liked it,"&mdash;and I went towards her. She
ran ahead, and took up a stone. "I'll heave this at you," said she
looking as if she meant it. I desisted, and went back to the barrow,
"What's he done?" said the sister who had been standing a little
distance off. "I'll tell you bye and bye,&mdash;come on." The younger began to
handle the barrow, but I sat down on a handle, some one came along. "You
will do us harm," said one of the girls.
</p>
<p>
"Tell your sister what I did." "Shan't,&mdash;get up." I then, forgetful of
my intention, blurted all out, imitating their voice and manner.
"Fuck,&mdash;hish! some one will hear,"&mdash;a slap. "Fuck,&mdash;there then."
</p>
<p>
The younger stood like a statue, her mouth opened wide, her lower jaw
almost seemed dropping off; the elder stared at me, her eyes nearly
out of her head. "Sarah says the bigger it is the better she likes it."
Their faces got blood-red, they stared at each other, then one said, "I
wish you'd get up, and let me have my barrow."
</p>
<p>
"I saw you both piddle," then I looked up and down the lane in both
directions, I was bursting. "Look," said I pulling out my prick, "it's
as thick and stiff as his, isn't it?" No one was in sight still.
</p>
<p>
"I wish there was a policeman," said the elder, "oh! you beast,&mdash;we'll
tell the police." One appeared just then in the lane, but the girls
appeared to be in no hurry to tell him, but I rose, they wheeled off the
barrow as fast as they could, I walking with them. I was a little afraid
of the policeman.
</p>
<p>
We had got to a spot where the lane was crossed by a village-road in
which were many good houses. "Oh! pray leave us, we go down here, we
have customers in the road." "Will you meet me?" "Yes,&mdash;but don't follow
us." I did not want to be seen, so we parted, after some arrangements
about meeting.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0009"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER IX.
</h2>
<pre>
Returning home.&mdash;In the church-yard.&mdash;Two female laborers.&mdash;
Among the tombs.&mdash;A sudden piss.&mdash;An arse on the weeds.&mdash;
Torn trousers, and a turd.&mdash;In front of the public-house.
</pre>
<p>
They went off, I crossed the road into the churchyard, through its
posts at the entrance to prevent cattle passing, and over which with
difficulty the girls had got their barrow and baskets. It was a huge
churchyard, half of it mere field; at one end the rich were buried,
and there were rows of tombs and monuments, the rest was only partially
filled with tomb-stones of all sizes. As I entered it two women passed
me; they were tall, stout, and dusty, had very short petticoats, and
thick hob-nailed boots, dark-blue dresses hung over big haunches, little
black shawls no larger than handkerchiefs over their backs. They had
big black bonnets cocked right upon the tops of their heads, and seemed
women who worked out of doors, agricultural laborers perhaps, or perhaps
the wives of bargemen, for there was a canal through the village. They
had the strong steady walk, and the body well balanced from the hips
that you see in woman engaged in outdoor occupations; perhaps they
carried strawberries to the London markets in large baskets on their
heads, and they walked as firmly as soldiers.
</p>
<p>
They went past me towards the monuments, both looked at me, and they
quickened their pace as they went off. I was dying with want of a fuck.
"They are going to piss," I thought. I knew the spot. We when boys,
and I when a youth years before, had laid in wait to see nursemaids and
their little charges turn up among the tombs to ease themselves, so I
stopped and looked after them.
</p>
<p>
They heard my footsteps cease, turned round, looked at me, and walked on
again. I followed slowly, they walked slower, so did I; they stopped,
so did I; one turned round. "Well young man, what do you want following
us?" This abashed me for the instant, but my prick standing gave me
confidence.
</p>
<p>
"You are going to piddle, and so am I." They burst out laughing, then
checked themselves, and one said, "Well I'm blessed if you ain't well
cheeked young man." "Arn't you?" "It's no business of yourn what we're a
going to do,&mdash;go your way, and we'll go ours." "I'll piddle by the
side of you,&mdash;I like doing it where a woman does it," I replied. I was
baudily reckless now.
</p>
<p>
"I'm damned!&mdash;did you ever hear such cheek!&mdash;go on young man,&mdash;or let
us." On they went, I followed; they stopped, so did I; they muttered
together half-laughing, and turning their heads round every minute,&mdash;and
I went on chaffing about piddling.
</p>
<p>
They had got to a spot where there was a break in the row of tombs, and
a length of turf with grass a foot high, burnt up, and almost made hay
in the summer sun. "I'd give each of you a shilling to piss before me",
said I. They had turned into this cross-passage between the tombs, and
one could see them from the footpath through the church-yard.
</p>
<p>
"Oh! Lord," said one before I had got the words out of my mouth, "I
can't wait",&mdash;and squatting she began pissing whilst I made my offer,
and laughing said, "Well if ever I heard the like,&mdash;well young man,
give it,&mdash;I'll never be paid again for getting rid of my water, I'll
bet,&mdash;you do it Sarah." Sarah said, "I shan't." "Don't be a fool, take
his bob." The other looked at me, the splash of the other woman's piddle
fell on her ear. When any one wants to piss, and hears another doing it,
the desire to piss becomes strong. Down Sarah squatted laughing, and her
splash began, before the other had finished pissing.
</p>
<p>
I wanted to piss, but the rigidity of my prick prevented me; it wanted
to evacuate its sperm before it got rid of the thinner liquid. I pulled
it out in front of their faces as they squatted side by side, stiff and
red-tipped; it throbbed, and knocked up and down in its randiness under
every effort I made to turn on the water. One said I was a blackguard.
"I want a fuck so bad,&mdash;let me have you,&mdash;I'll give you five shillings."
To which of the two I don't know, for I had no choice, one cunt was as
good as another to me at that moment, and I pushed my prick towards one
of them, who laughing put it aside with her hand.
</p>
<p>
"There is a chance for you," said one to the other (they were both up
then). "What do you take me for young man?" said the other, "if my man
were here he'd knock your bloody head off." But both stood looking at
my prick and me. I kept on asking, and offering the money,&mdash;no one would
see us,&mdash;one could watch,&mdash;and so on.
</p>
<p>
"Do you live about here?" said one. "No, I am going to see a friend at
&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;" (naming a place about two miles off.) "Weren't you never up here
before?" "Never in my life,&mdash;here is your shilling,"&mdash;and I gave it her.
"Here is yours." She would not take it. "Take it Molly." She took it.
"Oh! let me have you," said I selecting that one now for my addresses.
</p>
<p>
"This is a bloody lark," said she, "<i>what do you take</i> us for young
man?" "Let me fuck you." Both stood still looking at me and my prick.
"Some one will catch us," said one moving out from the tombs, and
looking up and down the pathway to see if any one was near, and
then came back. I had got close to the other. "Now Molly," said one
anxiously, "what are you about?" "Oh! he's made me all overish." "Well
if you'd been three months away from your old man as I have, there would
be some excuse." "Never mind,&mdash;you won't blab,&mdash;you stand there, and
call if you see any one." "The grave-digger will catch you." "No I saw
him right over by the church." "Come away." "No,&mdash;you go and watch." And
so we talked for a few seconds, but I never put my prick out of sight.
</p>
<p>
"Well," said the other moving out of sight into the narrow path between
the monuments, "you'll get into a mess." "No I shan't,&mdash;I'll let him for
the lark of the thing."
</p>
<p>
The instant she had gone round the corner the selected one laid hold of
my prick. "Do it quick,&mdash;some one may come," said she as she grasped it.
"Lie down". "No I won't,&mdash;it's dirty." "No it's dry,&mdash;the grass is quite
hay." I stripped off my coat, made it into a bundle, and placed it for
her head. "There,&mdash;there," I said, and pulled her down. She made no
resistance. I saw white thighs and belly, black hair on her cunt; and
the next minute I was spending up her.
</p>
<p>
"Shove on," said she, "I was just coming,"&mdash;and she was wriggling and
heaving, "go on." I could always go on pushing after a spend in those
days, my prick would not lose its stiffness for minutes afterwards; so I
pushed till I thought of doing her a second time; but her pleasure came
on, her cunt contracted, and with the usual wriggle and sigh she was
over, and there were we laying in copulation, with the dead all around
us; another living creature might that moment have been begotten, in its
turn to eat, drink, fuck, die, be buried and rot. Suddenly she jerked up
her arse, and pushed me.
</p>
<p>
"Oh!" said she uncunting me, "there is some one,"&mdash;and up she jumped.
There stood the other woman. "How you frightened me," said she. "There
was no one coming,&mdash;well it's a rum afternoon's job this," said she.
"Don't you blab." "Not I."
</p>
<p>
I had hidden my prick, but now my bladder insisted on its requirements
being attended to, and I went to the spot which the two ladies had
moistened, and pissed on it. The woman who had watched us fucking had
dark eyes, she had looked at me without ceasing from the time I had got
off from the other, and began pissing. My prick nearly at fucking size
still, was pouring forth a copious stream whilst I was feeling its
stem which the moisture from the other's cunt had saturated. Seeing
her looking I pulled out balls and all, and finished by shaking my
tooleywag. She laughed a low laugh. "I feel all overish myself now."
Her eyes looked like fire at me, fierce, lewd. "I'll give <i>you</i> five
shillings,&mdash;let me fuck <i>you</i> too,&mdash;she will wait and watch for us."
</p>
<p>
"Oh!&mdash;o!" said the one whom I just had fucked, twitching about, and
suddenly pulling up her petticoats, and looking up them, "there is
something crawling up me." She felt up her petticoats, shaking them, and
flourishing them about. "Oh!&mdash;oh!&mdash;just lift them up, and look Sarah."
</p>
<p>
Her companion lifted her clothes. "Go away young man, you've had your
game I think." "Oh! not there,&mdash;oh! it's biting." "Don't make that
noise." "Oh! it's here,&mdash;there,&mdash;just there." Slowly the companion
lifted the petticoats, first one side, then the other, showing thighs
and rump, and a great ugly crawling black thing dropped; it had crawled
up her petticoats whilst she was lying on the ground. I had drawn near,
and was gloating over the display of charms. "Ain't he had a treat
Molly!" said she.
</p>
<p>
This sight finished me by making me as stiff as I had been five minutes
before; the other one still kept looking at me. "I'll give <i>you</i> five
shillings," said I. "I've a good mind" said she. "Lor let him,&mdash;who'll
know?" "How stiff it is!" "Let him." "Feel it," said I. The woman put
her hand on it. "I'll go and watch," said the other moving away. "I
shan't." "Don't be a fool,"&mdash;and she moved out of sight, leaving us two
alone.
</p>
<p>
Not a word more was said, I pushed her up against the upright railings
enclosing a monument; a slight stone-lodge going all round the monument
put her about an inch above me, I lifted her clothes, for an instant
only saw another dark-haired cunt, and drove my prick up it. She felt
pleasure the very first shove that I gave her. "Oh!&mdash;oh!&mdash;did she do it
with you?&mdash;did she spend?" she gasped in whispers, looking me full in
the face. "Yes she spent."
</p>
<p>
That fetched her. "Oh! I'm coming,&mdash;oh! it's a coming," she gasped, and
laid her head over my shoulder. I felt her bum and belly wagging, and a
perfect torrent of cunt-liquor ran down on to my balls. I had not long
began my fuck, so was slower than with the first woman, and had fetched
her a second time before I had finished her standing up against the
railings. Then we stood, pressing our bellies together, keeping our
genitals coupled, and looking in each other's faces without speaking,
one or two minutes.
</p>
<p>
"You don't know these parts?" said she whilst we still were coupled.
"I've never been here in my life before," I replied. "How hard your bum
is,&mdash;are you married?" "Yes." "Is she?" "No,&mdash;let me go, she is coming."
Down flopped my tool, and down fell her petticoats.
</p>
<p>
The first-fucked came round the corner, then we talked. I had given the
first woman her five shillings directly after I had done her, and before
she found the reptile in her petticoats; I forgot to pay the other.
"Well young man, you've made a pair of us go crooked," said one. "Aye
that he have,&mdash;we've played high jinks." "Give us a kiss," said one. I
kissed them both, and off they walked. "Hulloh!" said I, "I forgot the
five shillings." "Lord so had I," said my creditor,&mdash;and I gave it her.
</p>
<p>
"Don't come our way, the grave-digger knows us,&mdash;go straight across
there, and round the church." I watched them going along with their
steady step; who could have known from their look and manner, that both
had just been fucked! Who can tell the state of any woman's cunt, whom
you may meet anywhere!
</p>
<p>
I went to my mother's, the hair on my prick was gummed flat on my belly
and balls, I found I had torn a hole in the knee of my trousers, and a
lump of turd was sticking to my coat, that I had made her a pillow with,
the ground must have been hard and flinty, and some one had shit in the
high grass.
</p>
<p>
What were the women?&mdash;certainly not gay. Did they fuck with me for fun,
for letch, or for money? I often have thought of it, and came to the
conclusion that both were lewd, that my baudy suggestions made them
worse, my prick upset them, and the money finished it; but that wanting
a fuck was the main cause; that one whose old man had been away three
months, how she looked at me and at my doodle, after I had fucked the
first one!
</p>
<p>
Towards dusk I went to meet my washerwomen. Near the corner of the lane
in which they lived was an old-fashioned public-house well back from the
road, in front of it were two large elm-trees, beneath them seats where
poor people sat drinking and enjoying themselves in Summer. I stopped
and looked. Quite at the back sat the two women whom I had fucked; they
had pewter pots in front of them, and recognized me at once. Both got
up, and rushed inside the public-house rapidly. Funk was on their faces,
they seemed to struggle who should get inside the door first. I never
saw them afterwards, but at the sight of them my cock stood rigidly, and
I would have had them again had it been possible. Many a time since I
have been to that churchyard to look at the place among the tombs where
we three had our pleasures, and my prick always stiffened when I was
there. Such impromptu copulations have a wonderful charm.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0010"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER X.
</h2>
<pre>
The washerwoman's lane.&mdash;An intention frustrated.&mdash;A slap in
the face.&mdash;Choice language and temper.&mdash;A dinner in the
Haymarket.&mdash;The rocking-chair.&mdash;A lucky shove.&mdash;Up, and out
in a second.&mdash;A quarrel, and flight.&mdash;An enticing laugh.&mdash;
The house in O... d. Street.
</pre>
<p>
Down the lane was the washerwoman's cottage, it had a little garden in
front of it. Through the window I saw the girls ironing by candle-light,
I walked about till quite dark, then knocked at the door. The short one
opened it, and seeing me shut the door saying, "Oh! you musn't call." So
I went away.
</p>
<p>
Then I wrote asking them to meet me, and got no reply; but I persevered.
I was constantly thinking of the girls' baudy talk when sitting on the
barrow. I went to the house again, after writing to say when I would be
at the end of the lane, and found them standing there,&mdash;by accident they
said, they declared they had not had my letter. That was a lie I knew. I
began smutty talk, which they cut short by both going to their cottage.
</p>
<p>
I wrote letters to the short one again, asking her to meet me, but
nothing came of that. At the end of their lane were market-gardens, I
saw Esther one evening at that end which joined the high-road, and was
close to the public-house where I had seen the women sitting whom I had
poked in the village church-yard. It was dark. I asked her to come for a
walk, she promised in a few minutes to come to me by the market-garden.
"If I don't," said she, "it will be because mother is at the door." But
she came.
</p>
<p>
I swore I was in love with her, which was true to the extent of her
cunt, and wanted her to meet me elsewhere,&mdash;we would dine, and go to the
theatre together. No she could not be out late without a row. I kissed
her, which she took to in the darkness kindly enough. I whispered, "I
should like to fuck." "If you say that again," said she, "I'll slap your
chops." I did, and she gave me a slap in the face, and ran off. I was
hurt, and so annoyed, that I did not follow her, but bawled out, "You'll
split your cunt into your arse-hole if you run like that." Directly
afterwards a voice like as of an oldish female in the darkness said,
"Get along you drunken blackguard, the likes of you ought to be locked
up." Insulting the girl by foul-mouthed remarks had not improved I
feared my chance of broaching her, and for a while I desisted.
</p>
<p>
But the letch was strong on me, I went to stay with my mother to
be nearer my game, and passed my time in playing billiards at the
public-house, and nightly I hunted the girl; so that at length under
promise to take her to Vauxhall she agreed to come and dine with me, or
as she said, have supper at eight o'clock with me. I usually then went
to Vauxhall at ten o'clock.
</p>
<p>
I went to a French restaurant in the Haymarket, ordered a sitting and
bed-room, and a good supper. Thought I, "With a feast and champagne with
you by myself for a couple of hours, my cock and your cunt will make
acquaintance."
</p>
<p>
To my annoyance she came with her sister. "I could not stop out late
without her," said she. I made the best of it, though very angry on the
quiet at seeing my game baulked.
</p>
<p>
"I'll kiss you at once because you have brought your sister unasked, and
you Matilda because you came unasked,"&mdash;and I kissed both to my heart's
content. They liked it. They were dressed in the vulgarest style of
their class, and I felt ashamed of going to Vauxhall with them,&mdash;and did
not they gorge! Champagne they had never tasted before and they lapped
it up like milk. "It gets into your head, don't it?" said one. "No my
dear, champagne gets into your tail,&mdash;you'll want to piddle soon."
"Oh! for shame!" "Never mind there are plenty of chamber-pots in the
bed-room." "If you talk that way we'll go," said they laughing, but we
went on talking and drinking.
</p>
<p>
Supper over, the waiter out of the room, both girls half-screwed,
half-screwed myself and wholly lewd, they both came and sat by me on the
sofa. Sisters again,&mdash;what fatality!
</p>
<p>
The conversation was soon suggestive. Which did they like best, washing
a shirt or a chemise? They let out, checked themselves, checked each
other. "Lord Esther what <i>are</i> you saying?" "Well Matilda I'm ashamed
of you." "Well that's pretty conversation for a gentleman,&mdash;let's
go,&mdash;promise you won't say anything like it again." "I won't,&mdash;but tell
me one thing,&mdash;how did you feel Esther, when you sat on the barrow and
said, '<i>fuck</i>'?" "You're a blackguard, I never said anything of the
sort,&mdash;did I Matilda?" "We'll go if you keep on so."
</p>
<p>
Matilda got jealous. "It's my turn now," said she after I had been
kissing Esther. The wine got more into all our heads, and we laughed
and shouted. "Why did you come Matilda?" "Mother don't let Esther out
alone,&mdash;besides I didn't know what you two might be up to alone." "What
did you think we might be up to?" "Oh! that's tellings." This talk went
on for a time, gradually getting warmer and more suggestive; all were
thinking about fucking, though no one said so.
</p>
<p>
By the sofa was an American rocking-chair, the first I ever recollect
having seen. Matilda began rocking herself in it, I rocked the chair
violently for her and then as far as it would go, back and held it
there, then rapidly I pushed one hand up her petticoats. Her legs were
distended somewhat as legs usually are when people are rocking, and my
fingers went on to her cunt. She lay back for the moment, helpless, then
managed to close her legs, but being almost on her back she could not
get free; she struggled to get up, and yelled out, "Oh! pull him off
Esther,&mdash;-don't you beast."
</p>
<p>
Esther was on the sofa. She got up, pulled me back, and the chair came
forwards, but not till I had lifted Matilda's clothes far above her
knees. She sulked, my blood was up, and pulling Esther down on the sofa
kissing her, I pushed my hand up her clothes, and on to <i>her</i> cunt. She
screeched, then Matilda pulled me away. There had been much laughing and
yelling, but now they sulked. "We will go," said they. "I've felt both
your cunts," said I.
</p>
<p>
Their bonnets were in the bed-room, and I would not let them get them,
put both fingers to my mouth, and kissed them saying, "That's touched
your cunt Matilda, that's touched yours Esther." Then I pulled out my
prick, and putting both fingers on it's tip said, "That's nearly the
same as if my prick had touched your cunt.
</p>
<p>
"Call the waiter Esther," said Matilda angrily. I had gone too far, so
I desisted, begged pardon, promised never to do it again, to give them
both new bonnets, and I dare say anything else, and they sat down, but
for a long time sulking, and almost silent.
</p>
<p>
But my humility and regrets overcame them, there was more chatting, more
laughing, more champagne. I got smutty again and now, they laughed at
it. "What nice legs, and what beautiful white linen you have Matilda."
"Mine is as white," said Esther. "Your legs are not as plump." "Yes they
are." I pinched their arms, then their legs, we all kissed, they were
both as randy as the devil, and incited me to smutty talk, though
affecting not to understand me. Then the champagne overcame us all.
</p>
<p>
"You want to piddle?" "Ooh!&mdash;oh! no." "Really? then you want to see
if your bonnets are all right, that's all,&mdash;I want to piddle though."
Saying that I went into the bed-room, pissed, and came back, taking the
key out of the door. Laughing the girls then went into the bed-room, and
closed the door. They were very noisy, and groggy, the eldest worse than
the other.
</p>
<p>
I listened at the door. "Lock the door Ess." "There's no key." "Stand
there, and hold it,&mdash;I'm bursting." "Don't he go on!&mdash;make haste, or
I'll pee myself." I pushed open the door suddenly, one was pushing her
clothes against her quim to dry it, the other on the pot, she let a loud
fart just as I opened the door. "Oh!" said she rising with difficulty.
"I'll wait till the music is over," said I going out,&mdash;but I returned
the next minute, and pulled out my prick again. "I'll fuck you both,"
said I, and tried to put my hands up their clothes; when I got one the
other pulled me off, then I turned to her, and so on. We upset chairs,
we shrieked with laughter, it was Bedlam broke loose. I caught Matilda,
and threw her on her back on the bed. "Leave off now,&mdash;pull him away
Essie,&mdash;you're a going on too far,&mdash;oh! don't tickle,&mdash;oh! I can't bear
tickling." But I kept on.
</p>
<p>
The tickling made her screech. I threw up her clothes, for she was still
on her back on the bed, I didn't see her cunt, for I was between her
legs, and bent over her, lifted her legs, and pressed hard down on
her belly, her clothes on it which met mine, I gave a shove, having no
thought of doing anything but lewd mimickry of the act of copulation,
whilst Esther was tugging at my coat. Matilda shrieked, for my prick
went up her cunt, and out again before I knew where it was,&mdash;another
furious shriek. Frightened I had let go of her, she rolled off the bed,
and sat on the chair maudlin, and crying.
</p>
<p>
"What's the matter?" said Esther, "what's he done?" "Oh!" sobbed
Matilda, "where's my bonnet?&mdash;let's go,&mdash;I will go." "Stay,&mdash;be quiet."
"I won't,&mdash;I will go." The waiter just then came into the room begging
us not to make so much noise, as people were noticing it. Matilda crying
and angry, Esther questioning, Matilda telling Esther to put on her
things, or she would go without her, whilst there stood the French
waiter and a chamber-maid, wondering what the row was all about,&mdash;if
they had not heard, and did not guess it.
</p>
<p>
The girls were frightened, and I could not stop them. They had their
things on, and were out of the house in a few minutes, I went down with
them saying we would go to Vauxhall. The landlord stopped me. "Your bill
sir." I paid it, and when I got out could see the two girls nowhere. I
took a cab, drove here, there, and everywhere, but they were gone.
</p>
<p>
I came back towards the Haymarket, took the first woman I met, and went
to a house in C... d. n Street. Half-an-hour afterwards I went with
another; whilst with her I heard a merry-voiced woman in an adjoining
room, and without seeing her took a fancy to her. I dismissed my second
woman after fucking her, and enquired of the servant how long the lady
who was laughing had been in the adjoining room. She knew nothing, so I
waited door ajar, till I saw the woman leave, followed, and brought her
back, fucked her, and had not enough money to pay for riding home.
</p>
<p>
The more I think of that adventure the more extraordinary it seems; from
the time I threw Matilda on to the bed, till my prick had entered her
cunt, and got out again, I don't believe it could have occupied more
than a few seconds. She was heavy, I only just could lift her, and her
petticoats seemed but half-way up. She laughed loudly as I did so, and
when I leant over her with my prick out, I had not the remotest idea of
broaching her, nor that my prick might touch even her thighs; but she
must have been in the exact position, and her struggles brought her
notch down to the level, and my prick by mere chance drove a little way
up the hole; then her bum-wriggle threw me out instantly, and her yell
frightened me. Whether she was a virgin or not, or whether I hurt her
or not, I cannot say; could not even swear that my prick had entered her
cunt, but it felt like it; and why did she yell, then sulk, and go away
in a temper, if I had not somehow touched that slippery orifice?
</p>
<a name="2HCH0011"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XL.
</h2>
<pre>
Esther meets me.&mdash;Vauxhall.&mdash;Ex-harlot Sarah.&mdash;Esther
succumbs.&mdash;Big-arsed and bandy-legged.&mdash;Periodic fucking.&mdash;
Matilda invincible.&mdash;I part with Esther.&mdash;Her fortune.
</pre>
<p>
I wrote to Esther, who met me in the lane, she was in her airs. I
had quite forgotten myself she said, and had made them both drunk
purposely,&mdash;it was not like a gentleman,&mdash;I had acted very improper; she
would not recollect where my hand had been, did not believe I had felt
her thighs, she was tipsy. That was the line the cunning jade took in a
dark lane. "Now don't be foolish, and run away when I tell you." "Well
I won't." Then I said something suggestive, and she got cosy with me.
"What was it you really did to Tilda?" "Nothing." "You did." "Ask her,"
"She won't tell me, and she will never speak with you again." Truthfully
or not Esther declared she did not know what I had done to make her
sister holler out so.
</p>
<p>
"I'll give you a bonnet, and we will go to Vauxhall,&mdash;don't let your
sister know." I gave her the money, she agreed to meet me again, and
did, and again asked me what I had done to her sister. I would tell some
night when I slept with her. Then she would never know, for she would
never be in bed with me, or any one else, till she was married.
</p>
<p>
I progressed in the usual way, praised her big bum, guessed she had
fat thighs, etc. "You know I did feel them." No, she did not recollect.
After talking thus one night my prick was in stiffish form, and I put
her hand round it. She laid hold of it innocently, then snatched her
hand away violently. Then I did the old, old trick, promised a pair
of garters, if she would let me put them on,&mdash;in the dark of course.
"No,&mdash;no." "So help me God, I won't do more than put them on." Two
minutes after that my finger was on her split. This was all in the dark
lane.
</p>
<p>
I wonder what a girl of that class thinks of, hopes, expects when she
meets a gentleman on the sly. Does she expect he will fall in love, and
marry her?&mdash;does she know that he wants to fuck her?&mdash;does she like to
meet a man who has that intention, and long to hear smutty suggestions,
and baudy talk?&mdash;does she like the lustful feeling creeping over her,
as she stands by a randy man who is making lewd remarks? I imagine that
like the man, she is randy and wants to hear his baudy talk, to feel his
lips on hers, to hug him, to feel his hand wandering about her hidden
parts, that she meets him really for that purpose, just as much as he
meets her for the purpose. But they differ in this: he means to get her
if possible; she has made up her mind that whatever she may permit, he
shan't fuck her,&mdash;but she generally makes a mistake in that.
</p>
<p>
We went to Vauxhall, she told her mother she was going to the theatre
with Sarah and her husband (the woman who had said the bigger it was the
nicer it was), I was to take her to Sarah's when Vauxhall was over. I
gave her a lobster and champagne supper, she got spoony, I talked baudy,
she said it was abominable, this was all the Gardens. At length her
modesty broke. "Don't you want to piddle?" "I really do bad," said she
without hesitation. I took her to the ladies' place, and soon we left.
There were nice little houses not far from Vauxhall. I had been in the
afternoon, and paid for a room for the night to be sure of it, and took
her there. She would not go in till I said it was only to have another
glass of wine; but I believe she guessed what she was going in for. Then
I persuaded her to stop all night, the woman of the house was to call
us at six o'clock, so that she might get home early. She had made up her
mind to consent, and had no sham about it. I undressed her, tore my own
things off, threw myself on her, and with the first shove or two had
finished her virginity,&mdash;my prick went up with little difficulty.
</p>
<p>
We fucked all night, I revelled in her cunt. She was healthy,
full-blooded, randy-arsed, and spent like fun; we did it several times
before sleeping, then in the night, and awakened about eleven o'clock
next day. "Oh! my God," said she, "what will mother say,&mdash;I'm ruined."
"Well it's no use crying, you are in for it." A few tears, then a fuck,
a piddle, a wash,&mdash;and then refreshed we go through the ceremony, of
inspecting privates, and so fucking, looking, smelling, frigging, and
finger-stinking we lay till devilish hungry. Then we got up, and after
going to a chop-house and having food, I put her into a cab to go home.
I enjoyed myself much that night, a fresh cunt is always charming, and
there is such delight in killing modesty in a woman who has never been
fucked before; the struggle to get her to open her thighs to let you see
her cunt is in itself a delicious treat.
</p>
<p>
On the bed spunk lay in all directions, and over her chemise as well,
and there was the least smear of blood. I had pushed through something
tight to get into her, but it was an easy business, so easy that I
thought she had had cock before; but she was large cunted, the very
jagged, ragged tear was full size; her cunt-hair was dark, her bum was
one of the biggest for her height I have seen, it was out of proportion.
Her privates did not fascinate me, and when I had had her two or three
dozen times I grew tired of her. She was also bandy-legged, a thing I
never could bear in a woman.
</p>
<p>
She went to Sarah's that day, and remained there, her mother sent to
know why. Sarah said that Esther had had bowel attack after they came
home from the theatre, and her mother then went to see her. A girl
always looks ill after her first poking, and Esther had been fucked out,
so her mother was taken in. Her sister Matilda said she did not believe
it.
</p>
<p>
Sarah I found had been gay, and said she now was married; they did not
believe that, though they kept their disbelief to themselves, and only
Esther knew she had been gay, although all knew she had run away from
home. Sarah got her living by washing for Esther's mother. I heard some
funny things about her afterwards.
</p>
<p>
I could not get Esther to stop out again all night, but she met me often
enough, and became a baudy little bitch whose cunt much wanted feeding.
She told me the awful state of mind she and her sister were in at my
first overhearing them with the barrow; they had been talking of fucking
all that day, Sarah had begun it. Taking hold of some linen, "Oh! my,"
she said, "look here, ain't they been a doing it!&mdash;-here is
waste." There was spunk on the linen. I heard a good deal of choice
washerwoman's talk from Esther afterwards, and found that it was not an
unusual thing for laundresses to joke about the semen they found on the
linen of their customers, and that if they found suspicious signs on
the man's linen, to give the lady of the house a hint to look after
her husband. Many a husband has I am sure been discovered to have had
illicit pleasure, or to have the ladies' favor through the hints of an
officious laundress.
</p>
<p>
I made Esther liberal presents, but didn't take her much to Vauxhall or
theatres, although she was constantly asking me to do so. I had taken
her to Vauxhall one night after I had first had her, and saw some one
there whom I should have been sorry to have seen me with Esther. We went
to the little snug, quiet accommodation house which had been the scene
of the slaughter of her virginity, and there fucked; sometimes we
walked instead of riding home, and when near the village, turning down
a secluded street, or lane, I set her back up against a fence, and had
her; then with her cunt buttered home she went alone. I took her once or
twice to the theatre, and for fear of being seen had a box; but I could
not afford those extravagances. Although not a bad-looking girl, and one
who would stir up sensations in a man's ballocks when he looked at her,
she was vulgar in appearance; and neither bonnets nor dress made any
improvement in her,&mdash;she was a washerwoman all over.
</p>
<p>
After she was well acquainted with two or three baudy houses I grew
tired of her, and quarrelled with her. One night I went to my mother's
who was ill; and as I passed the end of the lane where Esther lived saw
one or two young men and women larking. She and her sister sometimes
came to the end of the lane when their work was done, to see the people
going along the high-road, and to chat there with neighbours. The men
were chivying the girls, and Esther was one of them. I watched them from
a safe distance, heard laughing and screeching, and every now and then
one of the girls chased by a man darted down the dark lane, and I heard
a shriek. There was no light in the lane, and not much even in the
high-road from the feeble oil-lamps. I thought also that I saw Esther
kissed, she yelled and got away, but it seemed to me she much liked it.
For some reason all the wenches suddenly disappeared, and the men,
who were of the laboring class, leaned against the railings of the
public-house, and talked. I walked slowly by them, and heard one say,
"I felt her cunt the other night, so help me Gor." I did not know who he
spoke of, but I made up my mind it was Esther.
</p>
<p>
I wrote Esther to meet me, and then told her she had let a man feel her
cunt, and what I had seen and heard. She denied all cheekily, but got
confused when I told her what the man said. "I was in the lane," said I
afterwards, "and quite towards that end where I have felt you often,&mdash;I
hid, and I know he was feeling you there." It was a bare-faced lie of
mine, because I had gone away; but it was a hit. "He didn't," said she,
"though he tried." "I heard him say you felt his prick," said I lying
away again, "he went up the lane, and told that tall young man that, 'so
help his God', you had." "He wanted to make me, but I didn't,&mdash;he is
the greatest liar in the place. It was sneaking of you to be hiding like
that, and watching me," said she.
</p>
<p>
I wanted to fuck her, but she would not let me. She slanged me, said
I had deceived her, had said I would keep her, and lots of other
things,&mdash;and off she went. I took no notice for a fortnight, then went
to the lodgings of Sarah, and had a talk with her. Sarah said that
Esther was mad with me for not writing nor going to see her, and blamed
me for not "behaving handsome". "No other man has ever touched Esther,"
said she, "you don't seem to care about her,&mdash;but there's plenty who
do,&mdash;there are two or three gents about who would be glad to be in your
place."
</p>
<p>
I had her again, then had a desire to get into her sister, and tried
several times to see Matilda, caught her standing with Esther in the
lane once or twice, but she bolted off directly I went up to her. Once
she opened the door to me at her cottage, and slammed it in my face.
I had not told Esther what had made Matilda cry out till that day,
and then I did. "It's a lie," said she, "you went up my sister
Matilda?&mdash;what a crammer!" "She might tell her sister," and she did.
Matilda said I was a liar, and that what I had done was to shove my
finger violently up her, and hurt her very much. Esther believed
her sister. Matilda was going to be married to the potman at the
public-house close by, I then heard.
</p>
<p>
After that Esther met me a few times, and her sister seemed much on her
mind; for she invariably after she had felt my prick for a minute would
say, "And you mean to tell me it went right into Tilda?" "Yes right in."
"Oh! what a story,&mdash;it could not have been." I grew tired of her, and
she of me,&mdash;probably some other man had taken a fancy to her, so I gave
her ten pounds one night, told her I was going abroad, and would see
her on my return, but I never did. I saw her near my mother's house
two years afterwards with quite a genteel well-dressed young man, she
looking nice and fresh, but very vulgar. She saw me. Her eyes had a
painful expression in them, partly like fear, partly as if she were
going to cry; and then she dropped them. They passed me, I of course
not taking the slightest notice, but had a cock-stand, and felt jealous,
&mdash;such a funny thing is male nature. I never saw her afterwards, but saw
Sarah the washerwoman and ex-harlot, and gave her five shillings for a
chat about the two girls. Esther had gone off with a gent, Matilda had
married the potman, who had taken to drink, and used to "whop her." And
that is the end of my acquaintance with the two girls.
</p>
<p>
I had great difficulty in keeping Esther from knowing too much about me,
and used a false name, had letters sent to a post-office, and had to do
much lying. The oddest thing was that though so near my mother's house,
and though I passed her one day when walking with one of my married
sisters, she did not know I was often living there, and close by her
home; but she found it out just before I parted with her. She knew quite
well that the conversation when sitting on the barrow could only have
been heard from one of the garden-walls close by the barrow; but I would
not at first tell her which. My real name I don't think she ever knew,
though I am not sure of that.
</p>
<p>
Curiosity made me call on ex-harlot Sarah, who lived in one room, and
whilst talking I put my hand up her petticoats, on to her cunt. She
laughed, opened her thighs wide, and said, "I knowed yer would," and she
looked as if a fuck would have gratified her,&mdash;but I did not attempt it.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0012"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XII.
</h2>
<pre>
Preliminary.&mdash;My taste for beauty of form.&mdash;Sarah Mavis.&mdash;
Midday in the Quadrant.&mdash;No. 13 J... s Street.&mdash;A bargain in
the hall.&mdash;A woman with a will.&mdash;Fears about my size.&mdash;
Muck.&mdash;Cold-blooded.&mdash;Tyranny.&mdash;My temper.&mdash;Submission.&mdash;A
revolt.&mdash;A half-gay lady.&mdash;Sarah watches me.&mdash;A quarrel.&mdash;
Reconciliation.
</pre>
<p>
I must go back a year or more before the night when I last had
Kitty with the yellow hair and yellow motte, to tell the story of my
acquaintance with a woman of whom I have little to tell, considering
that she more or less is included in the history of my amours for nearly
four years, and who will appear more than once some years after that. A
word about my sensuous temperament first.
</p>
<p>
I had early a taste for beauty of female form. Face had for me of course
the usual attraction, for beauty of expression always speaks to the soul
of a man first. A woman's eyes speak to him before she opens her mouth,
and instinctively (for actual knowledge only comes to him in his maturer
years) he reads in them liking, dislike, indifference, voluptuousness,
desire, sensuous abandonment, or fierce reckless lust.
</p>
<p>
All these feelings can be seen in a woman's eyes alone, for they express
and move with every feeling, every passion, pure or sensual. They can
beget in the male pure love as it is called, which is believed to be
so till experience teaches that however pure it may be, it cannot exist
without the occasional help of a burning throbbing, stiff prick, up
a hot, wide-stretched cunt, and a simultaneous discharge of spermatic
juices from both organs. The rest of a woman's body, the breasts and
limbs, can move lust unaccompanied by love, and if once admiration of
them begins lust follows instantly. A small foot, a round, plump leg and
thigh, and a fat backside speak to the prick straight. Form is in fact
to most, more enticing, and creates a more enduring attachment in men of
mature years, than the sweetest face. A plain woman with fine limbs and
bum, and firm, full breasts will (unless her cunt be an ugly gash) draw
a man to her where the prettiest-faced Miss will fail. Few men, unless
their bellies be very big, or they be very old, will keep long to a bony
lady whose skinny buttocks can be held in one hand. I early had a
taste for female form, it was born with me. Even when a boy I selected
partners for dancing because they were what I called crummy, and admired
even at one time a fat-arsed middle-aged woman who sold us bull's eyes,
because I had caught her exhibiting large legs when squatting down to
piss. For years I had had at the period named, two friends, one of whom
was a sculptor, who alas! drank himself to death; and one a painter
still living as I write this. I had been in their studios, seen their
naked models, heard their opinions on both male and female beauty,
and had the various points of female perfection shown me on the
lady-sitters. I had them explained in two instances by the ladies
themselves, in private sittings, and with them I had sexual pleasures
which they said the artists had neither got out of them nor given them.
I had myself sketched from the nude, and was thought a not bad hand
at it, and had therefore by training, instinct, and a most voluptuous
temperament become a good judge of beauty of female form.
</p>
<p>
I did not write the above paragraphs, when I wrote what follows about
Sarah Mavis, they are added now many years afterwards, when I am
wondering at what I did in those early days, marvelling at my judgment
in selection, and seeking the reasons which guided me then in getting
for my sexual embraces, as many modes of female beauty of form, as
perhaps any one Englishman ever had,&mdash;short of a prince.
</p>
<p>
One Summer's morning about midday, I was in the Quadrant. It had been
raining, and the streets were dirty. In front of me I saw a well-grown
woman walking with that steady, solid, well-balanced step which I even
then knew indicated fleshy limbs, and a fat backside. She was holding
her petticoats well up out of the dirt, the common habit of even
respectable women then. With gay ladies the habit was to hold them up
just a little higher. I saw a pair of feet in lovely boots which seemed
perfection, and calves which were exquisite. I fired directly. Just
by Beak Street she stopped, and looked into a shop. "Is she gay?" I
thought. "No." I followed on, passed her, then turned round, and met her
eye. She looked at me, but the look was so steady, indifferent, and with
so little of the gay woman in her expression, that I could not make up
my mind as to whether she was accessible or not.
</p>
<p>
She turned back and went on without looking round. Crossing Tichborne
Street she raised her petticoats higher, it was very muddy there. I then
saw more of both legs, my prick stood at the sight of her limbs, and
settled me. I followed quickly, saying as I came close, "Will you come
with me?" She made no reply, and I fell behind. Soon she stopped
again at a shop, and looked in, and again I said, "May I go with
you?" "Yes,&mdash;where to?" "Where you like,&mdash;-I will follow you." Without
replying a word, and without looking at me, without hurrying, she walked
steadily on till she entered the house No. 13 J...s Street, which I
entered that day for the first time, but many hundreds of times since.
Her composure, and the way she stopped from time to time to look at
the shops as she went along astonished me: she seemed in no hurry, nor
indeed conscious that I was close at her heels, though she knew it.
</p>
<p>
Inside the house she stopped at the foot of the staircase, and turning
round said in a low tone, "What are you going to give me?" "Ten
shillings." "I won't go upstairs then, so tell you at once." "What
do you want?" "I won't let any one come with me unless they give me a
sovereign at least." "I will give you that." Then she mounted, nothing
more being said. Asking me the question at the foot of the stairs
astonished me, I had been asked it in a room often before, and in the
street; but at the foot of a staircase,&mdash;never.
</p>
<p>
We entered a handsome bed-room. Turning round after paying for it, and
locking the door, I saw her standing with her back to the light (the
curtains were down, but the room was nevertheless light), one arm
resting on the mantle-piece. She looked at me fixedly, and I did at her.
Then I recollect noticing that her mouth was slightly open, and that she
looked seemingly vacantly at me (it always was so), that she had a black
silk dress on, and a dark-colored bonnet. Then desire impelled; I went
close to her, and began to lift her clothes. She pushed them down in a
commanding way saying, "Now none of that."
</p>
<p>
"Oh! here is your money," said I putting down a sovereign on the
mantle-piece. She broke into a quiet laugh. "I did not mean that,"
she remarked. "Let me feel you." "Get away," said she impatiently, and
turning she took off her bonnet. I then saw she had thick and nearly if
not quite black hair, and recollect that I noticed these points just
in the order I have narrated them. Then she leaned her arm on the
mantle-piece again, and looked at me quietly, her mouth slightly open,
and I stood looking at her without speaking, my sperm fermenting in
my balls; but I was slightly bothered, almost intimidated by her cold
manner,&mdash;-a manner so unlike what I usually met with in strumpets.
</p>
<p>
"You have beautiful legs." "So they say." "Let me see them." She laid
down on the sofa, her back to the light, without uttering a word. I
threw off coat and waistcoat, and sitting at the foot of the sofa threw
up her dress to her knees; higher I tried, but she resisted. Then
my fingers felt her cunt, and the delight of the feel and sight of her
beautiful limbs overwhelmed me. "Take off your things,&mdash;let me see you
undressed,&mdash;you must be exquisite." My hands roved all about her bum,
belly and thighs, and just seeing the flesh above her garters I fell
to kissing it, and kissed upwards till the aroma of her cunt met my
nostrils, and its thicket met my lips and mingled with my moustache,
which I then wore, though so few men then did. I fell on my knees by
the side of her, kissing, feeling, and smelling; but she kept her thighs
close together, and pushed her petticoats over my head whilst I kissed,
so that I saw but little of her beauties.
</p>
<p>
Then excited almost to madness by my amusement I rose up. "Oh! come
to the bed,&mdash;come." She lay quite still. "No,&mdash;do it here,&mdash;leave me
alone,&mdash;I won't have my clothes pulled up,&mdash;I won't be pulled about,&mdash;if
you want it have me, and have done." "Well get on to the bed." "I
shan't." "I can't do it on the sofa." "Well I'm going then." "You shan't
till I have had you,&mdash;only let me see your thighs." "There then,"&mdash;and
up went her clothes half-way. "Higher," "I shan't." Now my prick was
out. "Get on the bed,&mdash;I won't do it here,&mdash;take your things off."
"I shan't." "You shall." All was said by her in a determined way, but
without signs of temper.
</p>
<p>
She rose without saying another word, I think I see now as I write, her
exquisite legs in beautiful silk stockings as they showed when getting
off the sofa, and getting on to the bed. "But I want your clothes off."
"I won't take them off, I'm in a hurry,&mdash;I never do." "Oh! you must."
"I won't,&mdash;now come and do what you want to do,&mdash;I'm in a hurry." She
lifted her clothes just high enough to show the fringe of her cunt, and
opened her thighs a little. I thrilled with lewd delight as I saw them,
and mounted her, laid between them, and inserted my prick. Ah! at my
first shove almost I was spending in her.
</p>
<p>
"Oh! lay quiet dear, I've only been up you a second." "No,&mdash;get off,
and let me wash." I resisted, but she uncunted me, and got off the bed
quickly. "Now don't come near while I wash,&mdash;I can't bear a man looking
at me washing myself." I insisted, for I was longing to see the form I
had scarcely yet had a glimpse of. Putting down the basin she pulled the
bed-curtains round her to hide her whilst she slopped her quim. I would
not be rude, and saw nothing. Then on went her bonnet. "Are you going
first, or I?" said she. "I shall wait as long as you will." "Then I will
go first,"&mdash;and she was going away when I stopped her.
</p>
<p>
"When will you again meet me?" "Oh! when out at all, I am up to one
o'clock in Regent Street." "Where do you live?" "I shan't say,&mdash;good
bye." "No,&mdash;wait,&mdash;come to me this afternoon." "I can't." "This
evening." She hesitated. "I can't stay long if I do." "Well an hour and
a half." "Perhaps." "Will you take off your clothes then?" "No,&mdash;good
bye, I am in a hurry." "Meet me at seven o'clock to-night.&mdash;do." "No."
"At eight then." "Well I will be here expecting you,&mdash;but I shan't stop
long." "Will you let me see your form up to your waist?" "Oh! I hate
being looked at,"&mdash;and off she went, leaving me in the room.
</p>
<p>
I dined at my Club, and was in a fever of lust all day. "Will she come?"
for she had only half promised. Half-an-hour before the time I was at
the house, and had the same room again. It was handsome throughout, had
a big four-post bed with handsome hangings (this was thirty years ago
mind) on one side of the room on another side by a partition was a
wash-hand stand of marble, against the wall on the opposite side a large
glass just at the level of the bed; at the foot of the bed a large
sofa opposite to the fire; over the chimney-piece a big glass sloping
forwards, so that those sitting or lying on the sofa could see
themselves reflected in it; in the angle of the room by the windows a
big cheval-glass which could be turned in any direction, two easy-chairs
and a bidet, the hangings were of red damask, two large gas-burners
were over the chimney-piece angles. It was the most compact, comfortable
baudy house bed-room I have perhaps ever been in, although by no means a
large room. They charged seven and six for its use, and twenty shillings
for the night. Scores of times I have paid both fees. I noticed all
this, and that a couple could see their amatory amusements on the bed,
on the sofa, or anyhow in fact, by aid of the cheval and other glasses.
I was delighted with the room, but in a fever of anxiety lest the lady
should not come. I walked about with my prick out, seeing how I looked
in the glasses, laid on the bed, and noticed how it looked in the
side-glass, squatted on the sofa, glorying in the sight of my balls and
stiff-stander. Then I had a sudden fear that she would think my prick
small; what put it into my head I never could exactly say, I used when
at school to fancy mine was smaller than that of other boys, and some
remark of a gay woman about its size made me most sensitive on the
topic. I was constantly asking the women if my prick was not smaller
than other men's. When they said it was a very good size,&mdash;as big as
most,&mdash;I did not believe them, and I used when I pulled it out, to say
in an apologetic tone, "Let's put it up, there's not much of it." "Oh!
it's quite big enough," one would say. "I've seen plenty smaller," would
say another. But still the idea clung to me, that it was not a prick
to be in any way proud of,&mdash;which was a great error. But I have told of
this weakness more than once before, I think.
</p>
<p>
I recollect well that night fearing she would think my prick
contemptible, and it pained me much, for I was hooked, although I did
not know it. I brushed my hair, and made myself inviting with a desire
to please her, without thinking that I was taking the trouble to do so
for a woman who was going to be fucked for twenty shillings, and whom I
now know did not then care how I looked, or who I was, long as she
got her money as soon as she could, and got rid of me to make way for
another man, or to go and spend what she had earned.
</p>
<p>
She did not keep her time. I kept listening, and peeping out as I heard
footsteps and saw couples bent on sexual pleasure going up the stairs,
and heard them overhead walking about. This and the excitement at the
recollection of my instantaneous spend between her magnificent thighs,
my pulling about my prick and contemplating it in the glass, the moving
about of the various couples made me in such a state of randiness that I
could scarcely keep from frigging. A servant who had noticed my peeping
came in, and begged I would not look out, for customers did not like it.
Did they know where my lady lived? and would they send for her? They did
not. Then the servant came to say I had been an hour in the room,&mdash;did I
mean to wait any longer? I knew what that meant, and was about to say I
would pay for the room twice, when I heard a heavy, slow tread, and the
lady's face appeared.
</p>
<p>
I grumbled at her delay, she took my complaints quietly, she could not
come earlier, was all she said. She pulled off her bonnet, put it on the
chair, turned round, leaned her arm on the mantle-piece, and stared at
me again in a half-vacant way with her mouth slightly open, just as in
the morning. I gave her very little time to stare, for I had my hand on
her cunt in no time, and nearly spent in my trousers as I touched it.
She tried the same game,&mdash;she would not be pulled about,&mdash;she would not
let her cunt be looked at,&mdash;if I meant to do it, do it, and have
done with it. My blood rose. "I'd be damned if I would,&mdash;nor pay, nor
anything else unless she took her gown off. So she took it off laughing,
and laid down on the sofa. Not on the bed. No she would not. Then damned
if I would do it (though I was nearly bursting). Again she laughed, and
then got on to the bed. I saw breasts of spotless purity, and exquisite
shape, bursting out over the corset, threw up the petticoats, saw the
dark hair at the bottom of the belly, and the next instant a thrust,
a moment's heaving,&mdash;quietness,&mdash;another thrust,&mdash;a sigh,&mdash;a gush of
sperm,&mdash;and again I had finished with but a minute's complete sexual
enjoyment only.
</p>
<p>
"Get up." "I won't" "Let me wash the muck out." "No."&mdash;and I pinned
her down, squeezed to her belly, grasped her haunches. "I've not done
spending." "Yes you have." A wriggle and a jerk, and I was uncunted
and swearing. She sat down on the basin, I stooped down, tore aside the
curtains, and put my hand on to her gaping cunt. She tried to rise, and
pushed me,&mdash;I pushed her. She tilted on one side, her bum caught the
edge of the basin, and upset the water.
</p>
<p>
"Damn you," said she,&mdash;then she laughed and got up. I pushed her against
the side of the bed, and again got my fingers on the cunt,&mdash;slippery
enough it was. "You're one of those beasts, are you?" said she.
</p>
<p>
"I've never felt your cunt properly, and I will." "Well let me wash it,
and you shall." She did so, I felt it, and then begged for another fuck.
</p>
<p>
"You are not in a hurry." "Yes I am." "You said you would give me an
hour and a half." "Yes, but you have done me, and what is the good
of keeping me?" "I mean to do it again." "Double journey double pay."
"Nonsense,&mdash;you so excited me, that I've never had a proper poke yet."
"Well that is no fault of mine." She laughed, and turned questioner. "Do
you often have the women from Regent Street?" "Yes." "Do you know many?"
"Yes, I vary so." "Ah! you are fond of change,&mdash;I thought so,"&mdash;and she
got talkative after that. I had thought her almost a dummy.
</p>
<p>
Meanwhile I was gloating over her charms, her beautiful arms, the lovely
breasts I now played with, the lovely limbs I saw, for she had sat down
in the most enticing position with the ankle of one foot resting on
the knee of the other leg. I wanted to pull the clothes higher up the
thighs, she resisted, but I saw the beautiful ankles, the tiny boots
and feet, the creamy flesh of the thigh just above the garter, thighs
thickening, folding over, squeezing together, and hiding her cunt from
view when I tried to look up.
</p>
<p>
I had hid my prick, the fear had come over me of her thinking it small,
and that prevented it standing again. An hour ran away. "I'm going,"
said she rising. My prick stood at the instant. "Let me." "Make haste
then." As she stood up I put my hand up her petticoats. She put her hand
down, and gave my prick a hard squeeze. I hollowed,&mdash;she laughed.
</p>
<p>
"I've a good mind not to let you,&mdash;you've been so long,&mdash;but you may do
it." She got on to the bedside. "Oh! for God's sake don't move,&mdash;that
attitude is exquisite." One leg was well on the bed, the petticoats were
squeezed up, and the leg on the ground from the boot-heel to about four
inches above her garter was visible. She was half turning round, her
lovely breasts, or rather one of them showed half-front, and with
her head looking round at me as she was moving, it altogether made a
ravishingly luscious picture. I put my hands up from behind between her
thighs. That broke the spell, she moved on to the bed directly,&mdash;I on to
her.
</p>
<p>
"Oh! God you are heavenly, lovely,&mdash;oh! God my darling,&mdash;oh!" I was
spending and kissing her too quickly again; lust almost deprived me of
my pleasure. In a dozen shoves I was empty. It was all over.
</p>
<p>
"How quietly you stood in that attitude," said I. "I can stand in an
attitude nearly five minutes without moving, almost without showing that
I am breathing, without winking an eye." I thought nothing of this at
the time, excepting that it was brag.
</p>
<p>
"Give me five shillings, for I have been a long time with you,&mdash;I've a
reason,&mdash;I won't ask you again." I gave it her. "Shall you be in Regent
Street to-morrow morning?" "Yes."
</p>
<p>
I was in Regent Street, met her, and had her you may be sure, and
repeated these meetings for a week daily, and sometimes twice a day; but
got no more than the shortest time with her, the quickest fuck, a rapid
uncunting. She did not spend with me, and showed no signs of pleasure,
scarcely took the trouble to move her bum, would not undress, would not
let me look at her cunt. I submitted to it, for I was caught, but did
not know that then,&mdash;she did. That is she knew that I was damnably lewd
upon her, and used that knowledge to suit her convenience. I had no
right to grumble at it. I need not have had her, had I not liked upon
those terms. But I did. At length I grumbled, and at last almost had a
quarrel. "I won't see you again," said I. "No one asks you," said she.
</p>
<p>
As my means were not large, and my purse grew rather empty, I was glad
to keep away a few days. Then again I saw her in Regent Street; and
after giving her the wink followed her. She walked on, but instead of
going to the house, passed the end of the street. On she went, I went
close to her, it was the second time I had spoken to her in the street.
"Oh! I did not understand you," she said, "besides I'm in a hurry." "Oh!
do come." "Well I can't stop five minutes." "Nonsense." "Well then I
can't,"&mdash;and she went on walking. My prick got the better of my temper.
"Well come back." She turned round, and bent her way to J...s Street,
saying, "Don't let us go in together."
</p>
<p>
When in the house she got on to the bed without a moment's delay. I
had her, and she was out of the house again in less than ten minutes,
leaving me in a very angry state of mind; but she promised to meet me
the following night if she could, and to stay longer with me.
</p>
<p>
She came an hour late, and found me fretting and fuming in the bed-room.
They did not hurry me now at that house, I being already known there,
and gave me whenever they could the same chamber. "I'm in a great
hurry," were the first words Sarah said. "Why you told me you would stay
longer." "Yes,&mdash;I am sorry, but I can't." "You never can,&mdash;but take
off your gown." "I really can't,&mdash;have me at the side of the bed,&mdash;you
wanted it so the other day." "No I won't." "Then I'll get on the
bed,"&mdash;and on she got.
</p>
<p>
I tried to open her legs, to turn her round to see her bum (I had
never seen it yet properly). No she would not undress, she would do
nothing,&mdash;I might have it her way, or leave it alone and go. How green
it was to submit to all this.
</p>
<p>
I lost my temper, for my delight I saw was in her lovely form, in her
physical beauty; whilst she seemed to think that the only joy I could
have was to spend in her cunt as fast as I could. "I won't have you at
all," said I getting resolute at last. "All right," said she getting off
the bed, "I'm really in a hurry,&mdash;another night I will." "Another night
be damned&mdash;you are nearly a bilk,&mdash;there,"&mdash;and I threw the sovereign on
a table, and put on my hat. "Are you going?" "Yes, I'm going to get some
woman who is not ashamed of her cunt." "Go along then." Off I went.
When halfway down the stairs I heard her calling to me to come back, but
savage I went off.
</p>
<p>
I walked up Regent Street savage with her, and with myself too, for not
having had my fuck, even if she had gone away a minute afterwards. Randy
as the devil I saw a woman at the corner of the Circus, and accosted
her, she turned away, I accosted her again. "Will you come with
me?" "Yes if you like." "Do you know a house about here?" "No I'm a
stranger." Then I took her to J... s Street, had her two or three times
and toyed with her a long time, stopping till she would stop no longer,
saying she should be locked out if she was not off. She was only
half-gay I think, and wanted a fuck. I had just offered myself in time.
She was a biggish woman of about thirty years of age. After I had fucked
her the first time, we laid on the bed together; she played with my
prick till it was stiff again, and then turning on to her back said,
"Come on,&mdash;let's have it again."
</p>
<p>
I thought much of my fine-limbed Sarah Mavis, but it was with anger. A
fuck for ten shillings was all very well when randy, but even when in a
hurry I never was satisfied till I had pulled the cunt open, and given
it a general inspection, although it was generally but a rapid one in
those days. If I had the same woman again another day, it was because
I liked her and liked to talk to her, for I always found them more
complaisant the longer I knew them. But here had I been having a woman
daily, and sometimes twice a day, mainly because she was so exquisite in
form (for I had some idea even then that her cunt was not a good fit
to my prick) yet I had never seen her cunt; nor her backside, nor her
bubbies, nor her arm-pits,' nor her navel, nor anything properly, and so
I determined not to have her again, and to dismiss her from my mind. But
I was hooked.
</p>
<p>
To economize I again went with cheap women, and seemed to get just as
nice women for ten shillings as I did for twenty; but I had taken a
liking for the house in J...s Street, which was an expensive one, and
liked the best room, and took my cheap women to my dear room. One
woman said, "Well you might give me a little more, and have a cheaper
room,&mdash;the room gets nearly as much as you give me." And I saw a woman
there one night pocket the comb, and a piece of soap,&mdash;she stole them.
I heard in pleasant conversation afterwards, that soap and combs were
often stolen by women,&mdash;especially soap.
</p>
<p>
About a fortnight afterwards I saw my Venus again, and again was
closetted with her. I could resist my desire for her no longer, for
having never ceased thinking of her even when fucking other women. She
was just as calm, but there was a little, quiet spite about her. When
she had taken off her bonnet, and looked at me for a minute with her
mouth open as usual, she said, "I suppose you have been having other
women." I can't tell why it was, but I lied, and said "no." "What did
you go upstairs with one for?" said she, "the night after you left
me,&mdash;I was in the parlour, and peeping through the door saw you and
the woman who stumbled at the foot of the stairs" (which was the fact).
"Well I did," I replied, "and saw her cunt,&mdash;and that's more than I ever
saw of yours." "You've seen as much as you will." Putting on my hat
in rage, "Then I may as well go,&mdash;here is your money,"&mdash;and I
turned towards the door. "Don't be a fool," said she, "what <i>do</i> you
want?&mdash;what <i>do</i> all you men want?&mdash;you are all beasts alike,&mdash;you're
never satisfied." She was angry. "Don't be in a hurry, and let's see
your precious cunt." I recollect saying that very distinctly, being
angry,&mdash;and that up to that time I had been chaste in my remarks. I was
at that time of my life not at all lewd or strong in word with women
when we first met, but was somewhat less so so soon as I warmed, and
only when randy to the highest degree or by fits and starts, spiced my
conversation highly with lewd expressions.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0013"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XIII.
</h2>
<pre>
Sarah's complaisance.&mdash;Mistress Hannah.&mdash;About Sarah.&mdash;
Sexual indifference.&mdash;After dinner.&mdash;Stark naked at last.&mdash;
Her form.&mdash;The scar.&mdash;Hannah's friendship.&mdash;The baudy house
parlour.&mdash;The Guardsman.&mdash;Sarah's greed.&mdash;A change in her
manner.&mdash;A miscarriage.&mdash;Going abroad.&mdash;I am madly in
love.&mdash;Sarah's history.
</pre>
<p>
She laughed. "Well I will,&mdash;but don't make me undress,&mdash;I'm in a hurry."
"Of course,&mdash;you always are." She laid on the sofa, and pulled up her
clothes,&mdash;she was yielding. "No,&mdash;come here." She came, and laid on the
side of the bed. At length I saw those glorious thighs open wider, the
dark-shaded crack with the swelling lips showed itself more freely than
I had ever seen it before. I dropped on my knees, and propping up one of
her feet with my hand, lifted the leg so that the thighs distended, and
a large bit of crimson nymphae began to show, the faint but delicious
odour of her cunt stole up my nostrils, my lips closed on her gap, and
kissed it lecherously, my brain whirled as my nose rubbed in the thicket
of dark hair, and my lip touched her clitoris. I know nothing more
excepting that I was up her as she laid there, and spending as quickly
as ever, before I had in fact well plugged her. "Are you satisfied?"
said she as she looked up from washing her cunt by the side of me. "No,
it's so quick,&mdash;you fetch me so quickly." "That is no fault of mine."
She had said so often before. I recollect all these apparently trivial,
these various feelings and circumstances, as well as if it were
yesterday, for she had made her mark on me.
</p>
<p>
I had partly conquered, and saw my victory. "I like seeing you so,"
said I, "but won't see you, or any other woman who won't let me see her
charms, and who is always in such a hurry,&mdash;it would be all very well if
I saw you for the first time&mdash;(why you have a new black silk dress on."
"Yes, I bought it with your money," said she),&mdash;"but for a regular friend
as I am, it is unsupportable." I conquered more, and subsequently, told
her that I might be in Regent Street one day, but I did not go there
(I had made no promise). She said she went out against her will to see
me,&mdash;could I write to say when she was to meet me? No,&mdash;but I could
write to the baudy house, and they would send on the letter. I called
there one morning, and left a letter. The Mistress was a shortish
sandy-haired woman about thirty years old, with a white face; she looked
very fixedly at me, and smiled. She would send on the letter to Miss
Sarah Mavis which I found was the name she went by; but Sarah never came
to my letter, and I paid for the room for nothing. Then I sent for the
Mistress; had a bottle of champagne with her, and she opened her heart
a little, she was soon a little screwed, and this was what she told me.
Her name was Hannah.
</p>
<p>
She had not known Miss Mavis long,&mdash;only a month or so before she had
come in with me,&mdash;did not often see her now excepting with me. Mavis had
been asking if I had been seen in the house with any other woman, "and
of course I did not tell her," said Sandyhead. She thought her a nice
woman, and had struck up acquaintance with her. Now she often came
into the parlour to chat with her when I had left, or before she came
upstairs to me, when I was at the house before my appointed time.
</p>
<p>
Things went on thus for a little time longer, Sarah doing much as she
liked, but certainly becoming more complaisant. She stopped longer, we
began to talk; I was of course curious about her, she about me, I dare
say she got much out of me, I but little out of her. What I mainly
learned was that she only came on the streets occasionally, and from
about eleven to one o'clock in the day,&mdash;never afterwards; and when she
had sufficient money to "go on with," as she said, she came not out at
all. "I hate it," said she, "hate you men,&mdash;you are all beasts,&mdash;you're
never satisfied unless you are pulling a woman about in all manner of
ways." "It pleases us," said I, "we admire you so." "Well it does not
please me,&mdash;I want them to do what they have to do, and let me go." "Why
don't you go out in the afternoon or evening?" "No, I get my money in
the morning, and have other things to do the rest of the day."
</p>
<p>
She had not been gay long,&mdash;not more than a month before I had met
her,&mdash;was taken to the house in J... s Street by the first man who met
her in the streets, and had been there often since. No she never had
been gay before, she would swear, and often wished she were dead rather
than have to come out, and let men pull her about, and put their nasty
muck into her,&mdash;"nasty muck" was always the pleasant way in which she
spoke of a man's sperm.
</p>
<p>
"One would think you never cared about a poke,&mdash;I wonder how often you
spend." "Oh! it's all the same to me whether I have it, or whether I
don't,&mdash;if I do it once a fortnight it's as much as I care about,&mdash;you
beasts of men seem to think of nothing else, and you leave us poor women
all the trouble that comes from putting your muck into us." "What the
devil do you care about?" said I after a chat with her one day, in which
she had just said what I have narrated. "Oh! I don't care about anything
much."
</p>
<p>
Another day she said, "I like a nice dinner, and then a read in an
arm-chair, till I go to sleep, or a nice bit of supper, and to get into
bed,&mdash;I'm so tired of a night, I like to get to bed early if I can." We
went on talking about eating and drinking; she told me what she liked,
and what she disliked with much gusto and earnestness. "I'll give you
a good dinner", said I, "and we will come here afterwards." "Will you?"
"Yes,&mdash;but I won't unless I have you three hours here." "Impossible,&mdash;I
dare not be out after half-past ten." "Come early." "I can't come very
early, for I must be home in the afternoon." There were all sorts of
obstacles,&mdash;so many that I gave it up, not going to be humbugged. But
<i>she</i> would not give it up, and it was arranged that if she might name
the evening, she would be with me at six o'clock, and stay with me till
ten,&mdash;an immense concession,&mdash;it was the dinner that did it. I saw she
was fond of her stomach, and that made me offer the dinner as a bait.
</p>
<p>
She would not come in after me to the restaurant, I was to meet her at
the corner of St. Martin's lane in a cab, and go with her,&mdash;and so it
came off. We went to the Cafe de P..v...e in Leicester square, I had
already ordered a private room, and a nice dinner. My God how she
enjoyed it! "It's a long time since I've had such a good dinner", said
she, "but never mind, better times are coming again for me, I feel
sure." She ate largely, she drank well, and to my astonishment when I
got up to kiss her, she kissed me in return, and gave my piercer the
slightest possible pinch outside my trousers. "Let's feel you," said I.
Equally astonished was I when she said, "Bolt the door, the waiter may
be in,"&mdash;and then I had a grope, and she felt my prick. "Let's go&mdash;let's
go,&mdash;I am dying for you." Off we went arm in arm. Directly we were well
away from the Cafe she let go my arm. "You go first, and I will follow."
I thought she was going to cheat me. "I dare not be seen walking arm in
arm with a man,&mdash;but I will follow." In five minutes we were in the room
together. Sarah Mavis was just in the slightest degree elevated, and
perhaps more than slightly lewd.
</p>
<p>
To pull off my things, to help her off with hers partially was the work
of a minute. "I must piddle first,&mdash;champagne always makes me want to
piddle so." "Does it make you randy?" "Oh! Lord it does sometimes; but
it's such a time since I tasted it before tonight, I almost forget."
"Are you so now?" "Oh! I don't know,&mdash;come on the bed," said she. She
opened her thighs wide, she let me grope and smell, and kiss, and see.
"Come on,&mdash;do." Instinct told me she wanted it, I embraced her, and
was enjoying her, when she clasped me firmly, sought my mouth. "Oh! my
darling, I'm co&mdash;-com&mdash;h&mdash;hing," said she spending as she cried out, and
fetched me at the same instant. It was the first time she had ever spent
with me.
</p>
<p>
We laid in heavenly quietness, prick and cunt in holy junction,
distilling, slobbering, and bedewing each other's mouths and privates,
whilst the soft voluptuous pleasure was creeping through our limbs,
bodies, and senses. She was in no hurry to wash out the muck. "Oh! I'm
choking," said she after a time, "get off." "I won't." "Oh! do,&mdash;my
stays choke me when I lie down after food,&mdash;I'm almost suffocated." I
held fast. "If I get off, you won't let me do it again." "Yes,&mdash;yes I
will." She jerked my prick out of her cunt, I got to the side of the
bed, she sat up, and was about to get off, when I stopped her, and
together we undid her stays, and took them off. "Let me wash now." "No
you shan't,&mdash;I've never yet fucked with my first sperm in you,&mdash;let me
now, there is a darling." She laughed, and fell back; then for a few
minutes we kissed and toyed. Her magnificent breasts were now free, I
buried my face between them, and kissed them rapturously; her moistened
quim I felt, and it drove me wild with desire; so gluing my mouth to
hers I mounted her, and we were soon in Elysium again, Sarah enjoying
her fuck in a way I thought from her cold-blooded manner previously
she was quite incapable of,&mdash;and there we laid, nestling cock and cunt
together, till a slight sleep or doze overtook both of us.
</p>
<p>
In a minute or two Sarah sprang up, and rushed to the basin. I lay
still, contemplating her, and saying I would not wash my prick for a
week, so that I might retain in the roots and its moistened fringe our
mixed juices, the remnants of our first spend together. When she had
washed she laid down by the side of me. "Let's have a nap," said she.
The wine seemed to be getting into her head more and more, though she
was but in the slightest degree fuddled.
</p>
<p>
I could not sleep. The sight of her breasts relieved from her stays, the
free manner in which she let her petticoats lay half up her thighs, the
delight at finding her take pleasure in my embraces, exulted me beyond
measure. I joked and tickled her. "Let's see you naked." "You shan't."
"Well stand up, and let me see your limbs naked,&mdash;take off your
petticoats, even if you keep your chemise on." She was yielding, took
petticoats off, but would do no more. I had seen more than any other
man, and she would do no more, she said. The wine had evaporated, and
she was herself again, quiet, composed.
</p>
<p>
Maddened with desire. "I'll give you a sovereign," I said, "to take
the chemise off." "Will you!" "Yes." "No I won't." "I'll give you two."
"What can you want to see more for?" "Hang it, take the money, and
let me, or I'll rip it off without paying." I closed with her, and
struggled, pulled the chemise up above her haunches, pulled it down
below her breasts, tore it. "Now don't,&mdash;I won't have it," said she
getting angry, "it won't please you if I do,&mdash;you will not like to see
me half as well afterwards, I tell you." "Yes I shall,&mdash;here is the
money,&mdash;now let me see you naked, I'll give you three sovereigns."
</p>
<p>
She pushed me away, and sat down. "Where is the money?" said she. I
gave it her. "I've got an ugly scar,&mdash;I don't like it seen." "Never
mind,&mdash;show it." Slowly she dropped the chemise, and stood in all her
naked beauty, and pointing to a scar just below her breasts, and about
four inches above her navel, "There," said she, "is it not ugly?&mdash;does
it not spoil me!&mdash;how I hate it!"
</p>
<p>
I told her no,&mdash;that she was so beautiful, that it mattered not. Yet
ugly it was. A seam looking like a piece of parchment which had been
held close to a fire and crinkled, and then glazed, star-shaped, white,
and as big as a large egg lay between her breasts and her navel. It was
the only defect on one of the most perfect and beautiful forms that God
ever had created.
</p>
<p>
"There," said she covering it up, "you won't want me naked again,&mdash;now
I dare say you don't like me as much." Yes I did. "Do you?" "Yes." She
came and kissed me. I often had her as naked as she was born afterwards.
</p>
<p>
"What is the time?" "Ten o'clock." "I must go." "Another poke." "Make
haste then." We had it. "Oh! now don't keep me,&mdash;if I'm not home by
half-past ten I shall be half murdered." She had let expressions like
that drop more than once; but I got no explanation excepting that she
lived with her father and mother,&mdash;and at that time I believed it.
</p>
<p>
At the next meeting she had her old quiet manner, her old "keep your
distance" was attempted; but it was impossible. A woman must always
give again what she has once given, she cannot help it. Then came more
dinners, but she was more cautious now in what she ate and drank, less
reckless in her embraces of me; but we were closer acquaintances than
we had been; she let me pull her about more freely and as a matter of
course, washed her quim without hiding herself for that operation, and
so on,&mdash;yet still she held me at a great distance, and was reserved. She
conquered me, in a degree.
</p>
<p>
In fact she did pretty well what she liked with me; saw me when she
liked, stopped with me as long as she thought proper, let me fuck her
just as often as she liked, and no more (and it was rarely she let me
do that more than once a day), see to her knees, or to her cunt, or pull
her about just in the degree she for the time thought fit to permit. I
grumbled, said I would see more complaisant women. "Well I might if I
liked,"&mdash;but I did not. Her indifference to sexual pleasure chilled and
annoyed me and for a reason I never could understand, her cunt never
seemed quite to fit me, nor fetch me with the voluptuousness that scores
of other women have done. Yet I saw her almost exclusively for three
years, and when she gave herself up to pleasure with me, my delight was
unbounded; when she let me have her with her cunt unwashed after our
first copulation, I thought of it for days afterwards. Altogether
she had her way with me in a manner I did not see, and have only
comprehended since.
</p>
<p>
This went on for some months. Whether she had other male friends or not
I don't know, but I never found her in Regent Street or other places
where I had once been able to find her, after I began to see her
regularly, and have reason to think that she ceased casuals after she
had me, and perchance another, that is all. Hannah said often at a
future day that I was her only friend.
</p>
<p>
I have not yet described her. She was of perfect height for a woman, say
five feet seven, her form from her chin to her toe-nails was faultless,
if anything inclining to too much flesh, and to too great a backside;
but then I liked flesh, and a woman's bum could not be too big for me. I
used to rub my lips and cheeks over her bum for a quarter of an hour at
a time, when she condescended to turn it upwards for so long a time for
that worship. Handsome her face certainly was, but it was of a somewhat
heavy character: her eyes were dark, soft, and vague in expression which
together with the habit of leaving her lips slightly open, gave her a
thoughtful, and at times half-vacant look. Her nose was charming and
<i>retrouss<EFBFBD></i>, her mouth small, with full lips, and a delicious set of
very small white teeth, her hair was nearly black, long, thick, and
coarsish dark hair in large quantity was in her armpits, and showed
slightly when her arms were down, her arms and breasts were superb. Her
cunt was thick-lipped, and with largish inner lips which showed well
in nearly the whole length of the split; her mons was very plump,
and covered well, but not widely with crisp black hair. She looked
twenty-six, yet was not more than twenty-two, and she looked most
handsome when lying asleep.
</p>
<p>
If I were asked the most perfect thing about her, I should say her feet
and legs up to her notch&mdash;they were simply perfect; I have seen them as
handsome in smaller women, never in one of her height. I must add that
her cunt was large both outside and inside, and that she was not a
voluptuous poke to me, but why I can only guess at now; I did not know
it whilst I was acquainted with her.
</p>
<p>
"A little of that satisfies me," she would say of poking, "once a
week,&mdash;once a fortnight, excepting at times,&mdash;you men are beasts, all of
you." She at first refused my mouth, never moved her bum, and laid like
a log. "Here I am,&mdash;do what you like,&mdash;do it, and get it over,&mdash;or
leave it," was her common mode of meeting my grumbling. Her first sexual
pleasure with me was I believe the night she dined with me; afterwards
she took pleasure with me more frequently, but un-cunting me, and
rushing out of bed to wash the instant I had spent, before I had indeed
done spending; until a sudden change in her took place which I shall
tell of, and then she was kinder, more lustful, or perhaps I might
say more loving, and more reckless; letting me enjoy her after my own
fashion, and abandoning herself to enjoyment as much as it was perhaps
in her nature to do so.
</p>
<p>
I found that she often now was with the keeper of the house, or rather
she who represented her,&mdash;Hannah. So I got acquainted more closely with
Hannah, would go into her parlour, and talk with her before Sarah came.
This began one day when I was awaiting Sarah by her asking me if I
would cast up a column of figures, nearly the whole of which was in five
shillings and seven and sixes. I did it once, then I did it a second
time. Going in one day just afterwards she stepped out from her parlour,
and thanked me. I stepped into the parlour, and got into the custom
of doing so,&mdash;if ladies were not in there,&mdash;but there was a good
introduction business done, as will be seen, and oftentimes ladies were
waiting there till their swains arrived.
</p>
<p>
One day she cooked a luncheon for me, once a breakfast, the latter was
during the time I had quarrelled with Sarah, and took another woman to
sleep with me there. I complimented her on her cooking, she was half
groggy (as she often was), and was very talkative. "Lord," said she,
"you have tasted my dinners many a times." "Nonsense." "Yes you have."
</p>
<p>
"Where?" "Do you recollect a ball at&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;, where all the servants were
allowed to look at the table before supper, and your coming down with
Mr.&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;, and we all scuffling back?" "Perfectly." "Well I cooked that
supper." Then it turned out that she had been cook at a house where
I was a constant visitor, she had recognized me at once, but did not
recollect my name, or so she said,&mdash;indeed it was not probable that she
knew it. She had been caught with a soldier in the house, and had been
kicked out.
</p>
<p>
Now by chance of fortune she was keeper of a baudy house, and her
soldier visited her there when in London,&mdash;he was a Guardsman,&mdash;and she
supplied him with money, and lots he had, for she robbed her Mistress
wholesale of the baudy house profits.
</p>
<p>
Hannah had two sisters; one a married woman with a bad husband, and
several children. She often came and assisted at J.... s Street,
sometimes acting as chambermaid,&mdash;and about two years after this period
of my history, a second one appeared who had been a housemaid, and who
had I suppose also lost her character. A pretty blue-eyed girl about
twenty years old with a cast in her eye, and a lovely leg up to within
a few inches of her cunt. I never saw higher, and shall have more to
say about her hereafter. Her name was, Susan&mdash;a sailor was said to be in
love with her.
</p>
<p>
Sarah at the end of some months asked me to give her five pounds, and
soon afterwards ten pounds. She was going to make up a sum of money to
buy a business for her father. She had been dressing very shabbily I
noticed, and said she knew I did not mind that, and it was all because
she was trying to save money,&mdash;to quit that life she hoped,&mdash;and I
believed it. I could not get her for several days, yet could have sworn
I had heard her voice one day in loud altercation with a man in the
parlour when I was waiting for her upstairs. I rang and asked for her;
the servant came, and asserted that Miss Mavis was not there, and
I never saw her that night. Next day I made an appointment (through
Hannah) for eleven a.m., and waited a long time before she came up. She
looked ill. "You've been crying." "I have not." "Yes you have,&mdash;your
eyes are red,&mdash;aye, and wet now." She asserted she had not, and then
burst out sobbing saying she was unwell. I was distressed, and sent for
wine, Hannah came up and comforted her (I saw Hannah knew all about it).
Then we were left to ourselves. "I've never been abed all night," said
Sarah. "Come to bed now." To my extreme astonishment <i>into</i> bed she
came, after looking at me in a very earnest manner.
</p>
<p>
I had often asked her before, and she never would; saying she never
had been in bed but with one man, and never meant. I was enraptured,
stripped to my skin, and was soon pressing every part of her body to
mine. She gave herself up to me entirely, her tongue met mine as we
spent. "Don't throw me out now dear." "Very well." Oh! miracle, I
thought, and there we lay, prick and cunt soaking together, till we had
another fuck, then she dozed off in my arms, and I soon afterwards. We
slept more than two hours, then my fingers sought her cunt directly;
and awakened her. I told her the time, she sighed saying, "It's no
matter,&mdash;it serves them right." It was a day of miracles, Hannah sent up
food, we ate it in bed, we fucked again and again. I was delighted with
the spunk we left on the sheets; then we dined at the Caf<61>, and went
back to the baudy house,&mdash;more fucking, no cunt-washing, all was free
baudy abandonment.
</p>
<p>
Hannah came up to us about the time Sarah usually left me, and told her
it was time to go. Sarah said she did not care a damn, Hannah begged
her to go,&mdash;she would go home with her. She agreed to go, kissed me, and
said I was a kind fellow. I waited outside, and tried to dodge her home;
but was unsuccessful; the two discovered me, stopped, and upbraided me,
and came back to the baudy house. Then she made me promise not to follow
her, and went out to piddle as she said. Hannah followed, I waited five
minutes for them, and then called to the servant. She came in with a
demure face, and said "Lor sir they have both gone out five minutes
ago."
</p>
<p>
For weeks after that Sarah was changed, and with the exception of not
stripping entirely did as freely as I wished, she did everything I
wanted, but sleep with me all night; she kept out later, but away
at night she went; she embraced me, enjoyed her fucking, and in fact
treated me like a husband. Then she said one day, "I'm some months gone
in the family way." "Who's the dad?" "You perhaps." "No I'm not,&mdash;it's
some man you are fond of, not me." "I am fond of no man," said she. Then
she was ill, and away for three weeks, she had had a miscarriage. I was
in despair, and sent her money all the time of her illness, but could
learn nothing from Hannah, excepting that Sarah was a dear good woman,
and too good for him. That was said before the sister, who cried out,
"You shut up Hannah." So I came to the conclusion there was some other
man in the way.
</p>
<p>
Another day I pumped Hannah, but she was an old bird, and not easily
caught. "She is fond of a man," I said. "She is not a fond sort,&mdash;if she
is fond of any man at all it's you,&mdash;but she has got her duty to do."
"What's that?" "Ask her,&mdash;I don't know her business. Now you get out,
there are some ladies coming here directly, and Miss Mavis won't like
your being here with them." "I'm not her property." "Pretty nearly you
are,&mdash;at all events go, there is a good gentleman. Whilst Sarah was away
I did get acquainted with three or four ladies, and two of them I had.
Sarah had then either gone abroad or I had had a desperate quarrel with
her.
</p>
<p>
When Sarah met me again she was still miserably ill, and thanked me for
my kindness warmly. We resumed our meetings, and again she was cautious,
but no longer bounced me. She spent with me, enjoyed me, but entreated
me. "Oh! let me wash out the muck,&mdash;now do pull it out,&mdash;I am so
frightened of being ill again." So I let her have her way. She refused
to say anything about her illness, excepting that it was I who had
caused it; but I did not believe her. She usually now gave way to
pleasure with me; at the end of the month I gave her twenty pounds to
make up a sum, then she got still more exacting about money. "Oh! I do
stop a long time with you,&mdash;give me more money,&mdash;do,&mdash;I want to make
up a sum," etc., etc.,&mdash;and then of course came a lie. At length she said
one bright sunny morning it was, I had poked her, and was laying on the
sofa afterwards, she sitting on the easy-chair, her lovely breasts
out, one beautiful leg over the other showing slightly the flesh of her
thighs, "You won't see much more of me,&mdash;we are going abroad."
</p>
<p>
I started as if I had been shot at. "You?&mdash;nonsense,&mdash;never." "I am
indeed,&mdash;I'm sick of this life, and will go anywhere, do anything to get
out of it."
</p>
<p>
I sank back on the sofa sobbing, it came home to me all at once that
I was madly in love with her. I was dazed with my own discovery,&mdash;I in
love with a gay woman! one whose cunt might have had a thousand pricks
up it! who might have sprung from any dung-hill!&mdash;impossible! I felt mad
with myself,&mdash;degraded!&mdash;impossible,&mdash;it could not be,&mdash;and for a time
I conquered myself. I tried then to draw her out about herself. It
was useless. Her quiet way of asserting that she <i>was</i> going at length
brought home the conviction that she spoke the truth. Then I laid and
sobbed on the sofa for half-an-hour. "Oh! you will soon get another
friend," said she. "No, no,&mdash;I can get a woman, but not one I shall
like,&mdash;Sarah my darling, Sarah I love you,&mdash;I dote on you,&mdash;oh! for
God's sake don't leave,&mdash;come with me,&mdash;you shan't lead this life,&mdash;we
will go abroad together."
</p>
<p>
"That is impossible,&mdash;if I did you would leave me, and then what should
I do?&mdash;come back to this life,&mdash;no." "You are going with somebody
else,&mdash;who?" "I can't say,&mdash;I'll tell you when I am gone." "When are you
going?" "Perhaps in a fortnight, perhaps a little later on."
</p>
<p>
I calmed for a time, a fortnight might give me a chance of persuading
her, and I began it at once; but it was all, "No,&mdash;no,&mdash;no,&mdash;it's all
for the best for both of us,"&mdash;and again I fell into deep despair, my
heart felt breaking, I had been so happy with this woman for months, she
had so filled my thoughts, so occupied my spare time, that I had half
forgotten my home life. Now I felt alone again, I had told her some
of my troubles,&mdash;not all,&mdash;now I poured them all out, and offered
everything,&mdash;all I had,&mdash;to go that next day abroad, and never return;
that I would make her love me though she did not now, I promised all men
could promise,&mdash;and meant it.
</p>
<p>
"No,&mdash;no,&mdash;impossible,"&mdash;and again I fell back on the sofa sobbing like
an infant, I have almost the deadly heart-ache now as I write this. She
sat looking at me for some time, then she arose, stooped over me, and
kissed me. I turned round, and&mdash;how strange that in my despair I noticed
it, and now recollect noticing it!&mdash;as she stooped her chemise opened,
and as I put my arm round her, her breasts touched my face, and as I
moved to kiss them I saw her whole lovely form down to her feet, the
dark hair of her motte, the bright white scar; and all in the soft
subdued light which is on a woman's body when enveloped in a thin
chemise,&mdash;and my prick stood whilst kissing her and sobbing, and she
was soothing me.
</p>
<p>
"It's of no use your loving me," she said, "and it's of no use my loving
you,&mdash;don't take on so,&mdash;perhaps when I am gone you will be happier at
home,&mdash;I can't love you, although I like you very much, for you have
been a good, kind man to me,&mdash;I nearly do love you I think,&mdash;if I were
with you I'm sure I should,&mdash;but it's of no use, for I am a married
woman, and have two children, and am going with them and my husband."
</p>
<p>
I was amazed, and doubted it. "I'll bring you my children to see," said
she, "it was to get them their dinners and tea that I always left you
at times as I have." "And at night?" "I always go home before he comes
home." "You always go home to your husband?" "Yes."
</p>
<p>
How I loathed that man!&mdash;my loathing rose to my lips. "That miserable
contemptible cur lives by your body,&mdash;a dirty vagabond." "No he's
not,&mdash;poor fellow, he would earn our living if he could, but he can't."
"I don't believe it,&mdash;a man who lives by a woman is barely a man,&mdash;I
would empty cesspools to keep a woman I loved, rather than another man
should stroke her,&mdash;no good can come of it,&mdash;he'll leave you for some
other woman some day." Sarah turned nasty, said she was sorry she had
told me so much, that all I said against him only made her like him the
more; and so leaving me in sorrow she went away.
</p>
<p>
Now that I felt sure she was going away, I could not see too much of
her; morning, noon, and night I had her. She brought her two children to
me, and very proud she was of them. How it was I never noticed the marks
of childbirth on her before I know not, but I never had. I spoke of
that now. "I took good care you should not," said she smiling, and I
recollected that when I had her by the side of the bed, when I looked at
her on the sofa, it was nearly always with her back to the light; when
laying on the bed, and I tried to gratify my passion by opening her
thighs, and gazing on her hidden charms, she nearly always half-turned
towards the window, and her belly was in shadow. "I don't like to be
pulled about,&mdash;I won't have it,&mdash;if you want me have me, and have done
with it,&mdash;get another woman if you like who will do it, or allow it,&mdash;I
won't." These and similar answers always settled me, and I submitted,
for I was under her domination, and in my folly I had actually feared
that if I persisted, she would not come to see me.
</p>
<p>
She brought her children in the morning to me at J...s Street, and I
had her that afternoon. Now she was free enough, pointed herself to the
marks of childbirth (very slight they were), and voluptuously held
her cunt-lips open,&mdash;she had never done so before. From that day and
afterwards she allowed me to see her in every way or manner, if not
to let me do what I wished. The mystery was over, I knew most if not
all,&mdash;certainly all about her person.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0014"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XIV.
</h2>
<pre>
Poses plastiques.&mdash;Sarah departs.&mdash;My despair.&mdash;Hannah's
comfort.&mdash;Foolscap and masturbation.&mdash;Cheap cunt.&mdash;A
Mulatto.&mdash;The baudy house accounts.&mdash;Concerning Sarah.&mdash;The
parlour.&mdash;The gay ladies there.&mdash;My virtue.&mdash;Louisa Fisher.&mdash;
A show of legs.&mdash;The consequence on me.&mdash;Effect on Mrs. X..i.
</pre>
<p>
I dined with Sarah repeatedly until her departure, she was now often in
low spirits, and drank very freely of champagne; then would fuck with
a passion and energy which did not seem natural to her, for by look and
general manner one would have sworn she was even tempered, and without
much passion,&mdash;had I not found that out by experience? One night soon
after she had brought her children to me, she seemed wild with lust.
What was the matter with me I don't know, but I had no desire for her,
and could scarcely stiffen for the embrace; yet she was in ecstacies
with me as I fucked her. "Do it again," said she. "I can't." "You must
do it,&mdash;I've not washed." "I can't." "Yes,&mdash;yes.&mdash;I'm mad for you,"
said she,&mdash;and we kept on fucking till early the next morning. "I am in
the family way again I think," said she as she left, "and if so will
jump over Westminster Bridge." But she was not, and after that night she
persuaded me not to spend in her, but to withdraw just as my emission
took place. "It will spoil all my plans if I am in the family way," said
she, "all I have done will be of no use if I cannot act." "Act?" "Yes, I
am an actress." "Does not your husband spend in you?" "No one has spent
in me but you, since my miscarriage,&mdash;I won't let him, and he doesn't
want me in the family way."
</p>
<p>
"You an actress!" "Yes,&mdash;have you never seen me?" "No." "Are you sure?"
"Yes." "Did you ever see the Poses plastiques and Madame W...t.n?" "Yes,
two or three years ago." "Well I was one of her troupe." "Good God!&mdash;and
what do you do now?" "Nothing,&mdash;but we have a troupe going on the
Continent,&mdash;I am the principal&mdash;I am Madame W...t.n now."
</p>
<p>
Then she told me she had in her youth been a model for artists, had sat
to Etty and Frost, hers was the form which had been painted in many of
their pictures,&mdash;and then she would say no more.
</p>
<p>
I grew sadder and sadder as the time came for her departure; so did she.
She said I worried and unsettled her; she wondered sometimes if she
were doing the best thing for herself and children or not. She was so
frightened lest she should get in the family way, that as already said
she made me withdraw before the critical moment, spending my sperm on
her thighs or on the crisp hair of her motte. I got an idea into my head
(a stupid one enough), that if she were to get in the family way by me
she would stay in London; and one night after we had dined, and she had
had pleasure in my groping, and as usual had said, "Now don't do it in
me," I plunged my prick up, and spent a full stream in her cunt. "I hope
to God that sperm's all up your womb," said I. Her own pleasure had so
overcome her, that she could not move for a minute; then jumping up she
washed herself with a sponge,&mdash;she recently had used one. I never had a
spend in her again for months afterwards.
</p>
<p>
Then for hours I used to look her over and over from head to foot, as if
I wished to recollect every part of her person for ever afterwards: the
roots of her hair, the ears, the way the hair grew on the nape of her
neck; the way it grew on her cunt, and in her arm-pits, and every other
part I used to look over as if searching for something; the only part of
her which escaped my investigations was the bum-furrow, which was to me
an uncomfortable part in all women, and in my wildest sexual ecstacies
and aberrations I neither felt it nor saw it, and don't know whether the
hole was round or square; red or brown.
</p>
<p>
After she had told me she had sat as a model, she brought me a small
oil-painting of herself made by an artist of some rank. She was proud of
it, and so was her husband. I offered such a price for it, that placed
as she was she could not resist, and I bought it. She gave me one day a
photograph of herself; both had the characteristic opening of the lips
well shown. It is only recently that I have destroyed these mementos of
a dead affection.
</p>
<p>
When I saw that nothing would keep her in England I did my best to
help her enterprise, gave her money freely, paid for dresses, boots,
travelling cloaks, children's dresses, and in brief for everything.
During the nine months I had known her she in fact ran me dry, and in
debt. I spent upon her more than I could have lived on for four years
at the rate I lived at just before I met her. But I was now in better
circumstances than I had been for years, and the money was my own.
</p>
<p>
As the time approached, I could neither sleep nor eat, and used to be
at J... s Street hours before I knew she could come; would wait any
time for her, treating Hannah and the ladies, and doing nothing but talk
about Sarah. Sometimes I used to think about following her abroad. When
she came to the house, I used to spend my time in crying, and she after
telling me not to be foolish, would cry too. Then, "Oh! let me see you
naked." "There then." Then came kisses all over her body. "Oh! now for
God's sake don't spend in me." Then came a delicious fuck; then crying
and moaning recommenced. She left a week at least before she had said
she should, and did so to prevent me the pain of parting with her,&mdash;I
must give her that credit. Hannah told me so.
</p>
<p>
I had arranged to see her one morning, and was as usual there before
my time. Hannah stepped out from the parlour. "Has Sarah come?" She
beckoned me into the parlour. "Why they all sailed this morning,&mdash;my
sister went to see them off,&mdash;did you not know?" I staggered to the
sofa dizzy, speechless, then senseless. When I came to myself Hannah was
standing besides me with brandy and water and a spoon with which she was
putting it into my mouth.
</p>
<p>
"Don't take on so," said she, "don't think any more about Sarah,&mdash;she is
a fine woman, but there are lots as good,&mdash;I know a dozen, and any one
would be glad to know a man like you,&mdash;have some brandy and water,"&mdash;and
she took a great gulp herself. "There now," said she bending over me.
"would you like to see Mrs.&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;, she who met you the other night in
here with Sarah,&mdash;she has taken quite a fancy to you,&mdash;don't cry. Sarah
will come back, and if she don't you'll get another woman whom you will
like as well. There is Mrs.&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;, a splendid shaped woman who only sees
one gentleman here,&mdash;she took quite a fancy to you, though she only saw
you once." But I was desperate, and rushed out of the house. Where I
went to, I don't even recollect, but went home at last very drunk,&mdash;an
extraordinary occurence for me.
</p>
<p>
For some days I was prostrate in mind, and almost in body, but at length
recovered sufficiently to attend a little to my affairs which had gone
altogether to the bad for a month, and had been going bad for many
months. I resolutely set myself against going to J... s Street, and
would not have women; indeed scarcely knew where to lay my hand on
a shilling, so necessity had perhaps as much to do with my virtue as
anything else; but I was generally in a weak, low state of health, and
really believe, though it seems to me almost incredible now, that it was
well nigh three weeks before I touched or saw a cunt after Sarah left.
</p>
<p>
Then one Sunday I had erections all day long. After dinner lust drove me
nearly mad; so I went to my room, took a clean sheet of white paper,
and frigged myself over it. My prick only slightly subsided, I frigged
again, and then as the paper lay before me covered with sperm-pools I
cried, because it was not up my dear Sarah's vagina, laid my head on
the table where the paper lay, and sobbed with despair, jealousy, and
regrets, for I thought some one would fuck her if I did not, that it
would be her hateful husband whom she had helped to keep with my money.
</p>
<p>
I may say here that on several occasions of my life I have frigged
myself over a clean sheet of foolscap paper; it was mostly done for
curiosity, to see what my sperm was like, whether it was as thin, or
as thick, or as large in quantity as at the last time I previously had
masturbated.
</p>
<p>
I could not after that Sunday keep away from J...s Street, and went
there the next day. "I don't expect she'll write to you," said Hannah,
"even if she said she would,&mdash;what will be the use?&mdash;it will only make
you miserable." But I felt sure she would, and kept away from women
still for some time after that,&mdash;I was stumped for money among other
reasons. Then I began to spend involuntarily in the night, which to me
was more hateful than frigging myself; so one night I went out for a bit
of cheap quim. Whether I saw Brighton Bessie or not I can't say, but I
think I did, and did later on.
</p>
<p>
I went first into the streets near a large well-known tavern at a
spot where several big thoroughfares meet, and where there is a large
traffic, and picked up my cheap women there. But the women, their
chemises and petticoats, and their rooms shocked me more than they used,
and kept me chaster than I otherwise might have been.
</p>
<p>
One night I went home with a tall straight woman who would not take my
fee. "No," said she, "I've got two nice little rooms of my own." If you
get a woman for five shillings you have to pay for the room besides, and
ten shillings is only a small sum; so I went with her for ten shillings,
and saw her at intervals for a few months.
</p>
<p>
She was about five feet nine high, was not stout, was as straight as a
lath, yet not thin, had very firm but quite small breasts, and a
biggish bum. She had Mulatto blood in her veins she told me, and was
brown-skinned, had a large mouth and <i>very</i> thick lips, the Negro blood
showed there plainly; her hair was dark, and so were her eyes; her cunt
was a pouter: it was small, but the lips pouted out more thickly I think
than those of any woman I ever yet saw, yet they were not flabby, but
protruded largely like two halves of a sausage; the hair was black,
short, and intensely crisp and curly; it felt like curled horse-hair.
I used to think her a plain woman, one of the plainest, but she was a
glorious fuckster; her cunt was tight inside, and yet so elastic as not
to hurt or pinch (and I was at that time when just at spunking point as
often said before tender-pricked). The hair of her head was coarse yet
straight, her large mouth was filled with teeth of a splendid whiteness,
and when she smiled she showed the whole set. It was seeing her large
white teeth that first attracted me before I could distinguish any other
feature of her face; you could see them at night right across a road,
they were dazzling, and almost made one forget the great thick-lipped
orifice which opened to expose them. I have before told of women who
attracted me by their teeth, and particularly of a Creole.
</p>
<p>
This <i>Mulatto</i> as I called her, amused me with her letcherous postures;
she was as lithe as a willow branch, and was willing to please. I was
fond of making her kneel on the bed with bum towards me, and her legs
nearly close together, and then the backward pout of her cunt was
charming to me, so much so that I took to poking her dog-fashion.
</p>
<p>
One night when I was full of sperm I made her remain in the exact
posture until all my spunk had run out of her cunt, and sat holding a
candle towards her rump till I was satisfied with the sight; and more
than once I kept her in that position, looking at the gruelly lips until
I fucked her a second time.
</p>
<p>
She had such a very remarkable steady walk that she scarcely seemed to
move, she glided; her feet were so nicely carried forward, and her body
so evenly balanced from her hips. In this respect she resembled a tall
dark woman named Fletcher, whom I knew quite recently. There must have
been something in the arrangement of their thighs and hips which caused
this. Women who are accustomed to carry heavy loads on their heads
always walk straight, and never roll from side to side as most people
more or less do; but I don't know that either of the women named had
carried baskets on their heads,&mdash;I knew the walk of that class of women,
having been born in the neighbourhood where they worked.
</p>
<p>
She I imagine had a liking for my doing it naked with her, for she
was always suggesting that we should strip; but she could not bear my
fucking her dog-fashion. When I stripped and got into her on her belly,
she would twist her legs right into mine in quite a snaky fashion,
and sometimes lift her legs up till her heels were almost up to my
blade-bones. She also like a few others I have poked seemed to have
the power of holding my prick in her cunt quite tightly after I had
spent,&mdash;perhaps because she had not spent herself, for about her
pleasures in the copulation I am not sure, though she always impressed
me as being a hot-cunted one.
</p>
<p>
After I had once been to J... s Street again I went more and more
frequently. Hannah was always nearly screwed,&mdash;champagne or brandy
pleased her best.
</p>
<p>
When she was so, she would at times gradually let out much that she
knew,&mdash;and this is what she let out one day.
</p>
<p>
"Bah! her husband indeed!&mdash;she is not married,&mdash;he's got a wife besides,
and Sarah knows it,&mdash;he's blackened his wife's eyes more than once when
she has been annoying them; but that don't pay, for she is his lawful
wife; so he allows her something, and it keeps her quiet, and she won't
last long, for she is drunk from daybreak till night. Sarah's a real
good one to keep the lazy beggar,&mdash;she keeps them all poor thing, ever
since he could not get any engagement; there's she, and their children,
and her sister, who lives with them, and then there is her old mother
who she keeps, and his wife as well,&mdash;she has enough to do poor thing."
This came out one day after Hannah had dined; I had brought her a bottle
of specially fine brandy, and we were sitting in the parlour drinking it
together mixed with water.
</p>
<p>
I had long been getting into Hannah's good graces. I stood wine and
brandy, was always respectful to her and the gay ladies I met in her
parlour, and never used coarse, rude language to them, nor in speaking
of them or of ladies of their class. Hannah told me I was a great
favorite with several of them, as indeed I found to be the case. I may
say that all my life I never spoke disrespectfully to, or of gay ladies,
so long as they behaved themselves; they have been mostly throughout my
life, kind and true to me after their fashion, they gave me pleasure,
and I treated them as if I was grateful for it.
</p>
<p>
But I was moreover serviceable to Hannah. Once or twice as told she had
brought me some figures to cast up, and when Sarah had left, she brought
me others on various little scraps of paper. She asked me never to
mention my having done so to her sister, and I did not. I became curious
at finding the items were all in five shillings, seven and sixpence, ten
and twenty shillings; at last it struck me what it was, and taxing her
with it found it was the takings of the baudy house, she told me so with
a laugh. She could not write herself.
</p>
<p>
The takings were put on slips of paper by the servants, and by some
process of her own which she could not explain, she got a rough sort of
check on the servants to prevent them robbing her. She had to account to
the real owner of the house,&mdash;and how she did it she alone knows. This
is certain (she once admitted it), that from the takings she put a pound
a day into her own pocket. Whether she robbed the owner to that extent,
or whether it was her admitted share I never knew. She was well dressed,
had excellent food, allowed her Guardsman money, her sister's husband
money, and others too I rather think. But after she'd taken her three or
four hundred pounds a year, there was a splendid income handed over to
some one. This house had but eight rooms, and two more closets to let
out for fucking; they often took twenty pounds a day, and sometimes much
more.
</p>
<p>
I did this arithmetic pretty regularly, and she became my fast friend.
She told me all about Sarah that she knew (what Sarah at a future day
told me agreed with it), and much about the habits of other loose ladies
which will be partially narrated in due time, and a good deal about
baudy house management.
</p>
<p>
And now more about Sarah's antecedents. A new species of entertainment
had sprung into existence a few years before this time, called "Poses
plastiques," in which men and women covered with silk fitting tightly to
their naked limbs and made quite white, placed themselves on stages in
classical groups to the sound of music. Women and men of great physical
beauty formed these groups, they were in fact actors of that class.
Madame W...t.n known as a splendid model first got them up; her husband
was a splendid man, Sarah was her niece, and also had a beautiful form
which ran in the family; she was poor, and Madame W...t.n took her to
live with them, and at seventeen years of age she appeared as Venus.
</p>
<p>
At nineteen she had a child by Madame W...t.n's husband, at twenty a
second. Madame found out the father, and kicked Sarah out. Mr. W...t.n
then kicked Madame out, and went to live with Sarah, rows ensued, other
companies of "Poses plastiques" came into competition, the thing got
overdone, he could not get his living; he knew a trade, but was I expect
too lazy to work at it; so Sarah took to letting herself out as model,
and that being poor pay, to letting out her cunt to get their bread; she
had just began it when I first met her. They seem during a year or more
to have parted with all their goods, before she took to showing her
belly-parting for money.
</p>
<p>
So beautiful a form of course succeeded, and for a time I became the
principal milk-cow. Then a proposition was made to form a troupe to go
to the Continent; there seemed to be a grand opening, and with Sarah's
money (most of it got from me), the apparatus, costumes, properties, and
troupe were got together.
</p>
<p>
Off they had gone. She and her husband were the exhibition-managers,
speculators, and chief actors.
</p>
<p>
Hannah made a mouth when I asked what sort of a man Mavis was. She
did not think much of him,&mdash;why did he not work&mdash;he had a trade?&mdash;no,
because he was no longer able to get on as an actor, he preferred to let
Sarah get the living for the whole of them. "Ah! you'll see her back,
mark my words,&mdash;they won't succeed,&mdash;and then what will take place?
&mdash;you'll see,&mdash;is she poor thing to work and do everything, that he may
lay a bed, dress as a gentleman, and do nothing but take her out for a
walk on a Sunday; she is as proud of his taking her out for a walk on a
Sunday as if he kept her a carriage." After much reflexion I came to the
conclusion that Sarah had only just turned harlot about the time I had
first met her that she did it to keep her man and her family, and he got
accustomed to his woman getting his living for him.
</p>
<p>
I kept on calling at J... s Street, always expecting to hear of Sarah.
Hannah was glad to see me, for now I cast up her accounts weekly. I got
acquainted with two or three ladies there who came at intervals to meet
their friends. They were very nice women, none were ever to be seen in
the streets, they had either their own acquaintances whom they met at
J... s Street, or Hannah had introduced them to gentlemen there. They
were not a bit like whores in dress, appearance or manner, and my
acquaintance with them opened my mind to the fact, that there is a large
amount of occult fucking going on with needy, middle-class women, whose
mode of living and dressing, is a mystery to their friends, and who
mingle with their own class of society without its being suspected;
that their cunts are ever wetted by sperm which lawfully may not be put
there.
</p>
<p>
I began to stand wine when I met them, and was introduced as a friend of
Miss Mavis who had gone abroad. I was I found well known by name and
a character for kindness, and I expect also for being a fool. All the
women were shy at first, Hannah's sister (the servant) I overheard
telling Hannah that the ladies did not like my being in the parlour.
Hannah at times would ask me to leave, as a lady wanted to come into the
parlour and wait there, and so on. But gradually Hannah would say, "Who
is it?&mdash;oh! she knows him,"&mdash;or "Oh! she won't mind,&mdash;let her come in."
So by degrees I became intimate with these privately gay ladies, and
several of them on more than one occasion joined their sweet bodies to
mine in the game of under and over.
</p>
<p>
I had never had a woman in the house since Sarah had gone; firstly
because I did not then pay more for the girls than I did for the room
alone at J... s Street, and because, I feared if Sarah came back Hannah
would tell her,&mdash;as if it would have mattered to Sarah in any way
excepting that another woman would get the money she might have had.
Still I had that stupid idea about the matter, and although I had
longed for one or two of the other ladies, and although they had looked
languishingly at me, I never had then proposed a private interview
upstairs.
</p>
<p>
One day Hannah said she had heard from Sarah who had asked after me.
"They are (Sarah and the troupe) getting on well," said Hannah, "if she
says so I suppose they are,&mdash;but we shall see." Suddenly, "Have you had
another woman since she left?" The question startled me. "No." "Oh!
I don't believe it,&mdash;if you haven't you're a nasty man." Then I
confessed, and told her what I had done. "Why don't you have Mrs.
Fisher?" said she. "I'm poor, and can't,&mdash;I'm not going to do what I did
with Sarah." "Lord she won't mind,&mdash;she'd like you I know,&mdash;but don't
say I said so,&mdash;she's got a lovely leg,&mdash;she's a fine woman,&mdash;nearly as
fine made as Sarah Mavis, and she is taller,&mdash;she never gets it done at
home." Hannah was unusually muddled with liquor that day, and let out;
her sister was not there to check her with, "Now then Hannah you'd
better shut up,"&mdash;and Hannah described Mrs. Fisher's hidden charms till
my cock stood.
</p>
<p>
I would pass hours sketching from recollection Sarah Mavis' limbs and
form, her bum and cunt being the most favorite subjects; then so randy
that I did not know what to do with myself, I would rush out into the
streets to prevent my frigging myself,&mdash;and erotic night-dreams were
frequent.
</p>
<p>
"Why don't you see Mrs. X.. i," said Hannah to me, "she likes you, and
would come up any day if I wrote to her (I had supped two or three times
with that lady),&mdash;I would not fret about Sarah, although she is a fine
woman,&mdash;you let her see you have another woman, and she will come round
if she comes back." But I did not for a time.
</p>
<p>
One afternoon however being in the parlour, Mrs. X.. i was there, a
splendid woman about twenty-six years old. Also there was a young woman
who had two children by a man with whom she was about to go abroad, and
she was a lovely woman. The two ladies had just had a two o'clock dinner
with Hannah, I had just come from my Club after luncheon, and sent for
champagne. All our talk got frisky,&mdash;all knew Sarah, my love. If I could
get any one to talk with me about her, I was delighted, and began at
it. Said the Mistress, "Well she is a splendid-formed woman
certainly,&mdash;splendid, but there are lots of others,&mdash;I've got a good
leg to my knee, so has Mrs. X.. i, and Mrs.&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;," (meaning the other
whose name I forget).
</p>
<p>
"Show us your leg," said one. "There," said Hannah pulling up her
clothes, "now show yours." They all showed their limbs, one after
another. "You might fancy you had Sarah's legs round your thighs, if you
had Mrs. X...i's there," said Hannah. I was nigh bursting for a fuck.
Mrs. X...i pulled her clothes up higher, and stood up to show the leg
better; the other ladies did the same. I felt my pleasure coming, and
objecting to wet my shirt, began to unbutton. "Oh I can't bear it," I
cried, "oh! my God I'm coming,"&mdash;and the instant my prick was free from
my trousers I spent copiously, the three women their petticoats still up
nearly to their cunts, looking and laughing. I had not frigged, it was
fullness, and the voluptuous delight at seeing the limbs of the three
fine women which fetched me. "There is lots of stuff in him," said one.
Ashamed of myself I begged their pardons, and sent for more wine. "He
had better have given one of you ladies that good spunk," said the
Mistress. I overcame my bash fulness, they laughed about what Sarah
Mavis had missed, one professed to feel annoyed at my behaviour. "Oh!
you are damned modest," said Hannah.
</p>
<p>
Mrs. X...i soon afterwards went upstairs into the bed-room to a
gentleman she had come to meet. The Mistress said she should lay
down,&mdash;she always did after her dinner, and slept for two hours,&mdash;she
was fuddled, and indeed always was. The mother of the two children and
I were alone; from the instant I had spent she had never taken her
eyes off me,&mdash;never. I recollect the look of her dark eyes and their
expression quite well. Hannah snored almost directly. "Let us have
a kiss," said the lady to me, "I know you are fond of a well-formed
woman,"&mdash;and she pulled up her clothes a little. She was sitting on
the sofa, my prick rose, I bolted the door, and we fucked whilst the
Mistress kept snoring.
</p>
<p>
Mrs. X... i came down. "What you here still?&mdash;what have you been doing?"
The mother replied, "He has been smoking, and talking about his dear
Sarah." The woman was actually sitting at that very moment with a flood
of my sperm up her cunt, for she had neither wiped, nor washed, nor
pissed since I had fucked her. Then they talked about X... i's friend who
was a clergyman. X... i was the wife of a man who lived with her, but
never had her (so she said); she hated him, he had clapped her once.
</p>
<p>
The mother went out of the room, and came back, Hannah awoke, we had
tea, I paid, it was my rule then to pay for everything for the ladies
whenever I was in the baudy house parlour. I rose to go, shaking hands
with the two ladies. The one whom I had embraced put a bit of paper
privately into my hand. Outside the house I read it. "Wait outside," it
said. I had been delighted with her pleasure, and did so. She came out,
we walked quickly off. "You go to the top of the next street," said she,
"and I'll meet you,"&mdash;and she went another way, and met me at the top.
"I did that in case X... i came out," said she, "let us go and have
dinner together." "I have not enough money," said I. "Never mind, I
have." We went to the Caf<61> de P..v...e, and dined; I fucked her again
and again on a sofa. She was a charming woman. As we sat on a little
sofa dallying after dinner, she said she had not had it for a month,
her friend had gone to Germany, where they were going to live, to make
arrangements, he would return in a few days; then he, she, and the
children were going to Germany with him. "I liked you," said she, "but
when I saw what you did before us this afternoon, I could scarcely stop
myself, I wanted it so badly,&mdash;I dare say I'm in the family way,&mdash;oh!
don't look,&mdash;it's full,&mdash;it's dirty,&mdash;you shan't." The next instant I
was up her again; afterwards she washed, and I saw her cunt. I paid
for the dinner partly, she the rest,&mdash;I had not a sixpence left. "I'm
sorry," I said to her, "that I have no more money." "I did not come here
for money," said she. "Let me leave you half a dozen pair of gloves at
No. 11." "No, I've lots of gloves." "Then give me a kiss." She stood
putting her tongue in my mouth for a minute, then giving me a hearty
kiss off she went. I never saw her, nor had her again. Hannah told me
she was in Germany, and very happy there.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0015"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XV.
</h2>
<pre>
Louisa Fisher.&mdash;Chaffing.&mdash;Her form and fucking.&mdash;A supper
in bed.&mdash;A lascivious night.&mdash;Meetings afterwards.&mdash;Hannah's
legs.&mdash;Intruders in the bed-room.&mdash;Louisa's voluptuousness.&mdash;
Enceinte.&mdash;Her husband.&mdash;Her gentleman friend.&mdash;About
herself.&mdash;Illness.&mdash;Mrs. A... y.
</pre>
<p>
I began to meet a Mrs. Fisher at the house very frequently; why she was
more frequently there I did not know, and knew it was but of little use
asking questions why.
</p>
<p>
I rather liked this lady. She came usually at one o'clock, and had
dinner with Hannah. At three o'clock she went upstairs, was there about
two hours, then came down and went away. At times she waited, had tea,
and sometimes early supper; this was when she was expecting some one
who did not come. I was told confidentially by Hannah it was a rich
middle-aged clergyman. The lady's name was Mrs. Louisa Fisher,&mdash;her
christian name I have written truly, the surname is not. I do this lest
she be alive still, and should read somehow this result of my doings
with her at J...s Street; she can't mistake if she reads these pages who
it was.
</p>
<p>
After what Hannah had told me I could not help taking a great deal of
notice of this lady, and began to lust for her, and of course took to
talking to her about Sarah. She was nothing loth, and asked me curious,
and at last down right indecent questions about her, but not in smutty
language. Hannah when there used to laugh at the questions and my
replies; they made my cock stand, which perhaps was what Louisa
intended, or it may only have been curiosity without any hidden
intention.
</p>
<p>
I imagine that the erotic incident in the parlour had been told to a
good many gay ladies; it certainly had to Louisa Fisher, for one night
after that I had been to enquire if Hannah had heard again from Sarah,
and Hannah had mentioned Louisa, the following occurred. I had dined
early, it was about half-past six, Louisa Fisher was there. "Stand us
a glass of wine," said she. "Do," said Hannah. "Do," said another
lady. "Have you had dinner Mrs. Fisher?" said I. "No, my friend's not
been,&mdash;I'm hungry, and Hannah is just going to cook me a chop." I myself
fetched a bottle of sherry, the chop came, Louisa ate it, and drank
sherry; then I sent for brandy, we drank it mixed with water, and Hannah
took some neat. I had began about Sarah as I always did. "Well she was
a beautiful model," said Hannah, "but Mrs. X... i's leg was better to my
mind." "Look how he's blushing," said Louisa. "Why should I blush?" They
both laughed. "Oh! oh! oh! don't I know what you did when you saw her
legs." I was then that odd mixture of baudiness and modesty, that I was
just as likely to be bold as to be shame-faced, when a woman spoke to me
about anything carnal; and now was confused and half-ashamed. "Lord
how he's blushing," said Hannah, and she left the room to look after
business, she usually put her head out when the street-door opened, if a
servant was not in the way on the ground-floor.
</p>
<p>
Louisa laughed. "I know all bout it," said she, "she was a fine woman."
After I had got over the stupid bashfulness which I had for the moment,
I went (as usual with me) to the extreme of baudy boldness. "Yes," said
I laughing, "I wish it had been spilt in her cunt, instead of on the
carpet." "Oh! for shame," said Louisa, "well it was waste, was it
not,&mdash;it might have made two people happy,&mdash;did you really spend without
frigging it?" "Yes I did."
</p>
<p>
I got close to Louisa on the sofa to speak with her about the event, to
hear from her lips what had been told her. She said not a word, but my
face was close to hers, we looked into each other's eyes for a minute,
lust was on both. I put my arm round her, pulled her towards me, and
kissed her. She returned it, our lips were glued together. "You've got
a fine leg Hannah says." "Does she?" "Yes,&mdash;let me see it." "No."
"Yes." "You only care about Sarah." I made no reply, but went on kissing
letcherously, put one hand down, and going on kissing pulled her clothes
up to her knees. She stopped me there. "Oh! how round, how nice,
how lovely your leg is." "Now be quiet, Hannah will be in." I ceased
looking, but my hand slipped higher up, my fingers were inside the
satiny wet lips, and my mouth was glued to hers, as Hannah came back.
</p>
<p>
We resumed a decent posture. Hannah laughed, "Lord why don't you two
go upstairs?" said she, "you want each other,&mdash;why don't you go?&mdash;the
first-floor front's empty." "Come," said I to Louisa pulling her. She
rose instantly. Hannah was a really good soul, she liked to make people
happy, and to set them fucking; I have seen it in a dozen instances.
</p>
<p>
Without another word we went upstairs, I threw her on the bedside,
pulled up her clothes, and opened a magnificent pair of thighs. "Let's
go to bed," said she. "Very well." We both undressed like lightning
without a word passing, and stood, she in chemise, I in shirt in a
trice. "Let's get in naked." Without reply she drew off her chemise as
I pulled off my shirt, and the next minute naked in each other's arms we
were fucking in a warm bed, not a word of conversation passing till we
had spent, those moments are so soul-absorbing in their lasciviousness.
</p>
<p>
"Oh! how quick we've been,&mdash;lay still." With mutual consent we kept
together in fleshy conjunction, I nestled my balls up her, she tightened
her cunt to stimulate my shrinking organ. But little stimulus was
needed, our spend had only made us want it again, we had scarcely rested
ere we recommenced fucking, and again we spent before my prick had
uncunted. How lovely, how exquisite is the reminiscence! What equals
the pleasure of a man and woman pleased with each other, thrilling with
lust, when prick and cunt are joined, and they spend in each other's
arms!
</p>
<p>
Still she would not let me out of her, crossing her limbs over my
thighs, drawing me closer to her by her hands, grasping my arse-cheeks,
pulling the cheeks almost open, squeezing her cunt up to me, she kept me
up her, kissing me, shoving her tongue towards mine, and saying I was a
lovely poke, the first baudy words that dropped from her, I rubbing
my belly up against hers till my balls almost lay between her fat
cunt-lips, swabbing up the oozings of the sperm which ran out from her.
And so we lay, kissing, tongue-sucking, and talking the stinging words
of love and lust.
</p>
<p>
Then as repose became a pleasure, and nature severed us. "Oh! my God how
wet you have made me," she said, "it's all on the sheet." "Let me feel."
I felt on my side, she turned on hers towards me, and threw one leg over
my haunch, I placed my hand on her cunt, and felt the sperm, wetting
my hand, whilst she grasped my slippery prick. "Feel how wet your prick
is," I put my hand there, and every hair on my prick was plastered
against my belly; then hand on cunt, and hand on prick we both dozed
off.
</p>
<p>
When I awakened we were still face to face, Louisa asleep with a hand
under my balls. I pulled down the clothes to look at her naked body: the
gas was burning brightly, I saw splendid breasts; down went my hand to
her cunt, I groped it, she awoke, and without a word turned on to her
back, and I on to her belly. Whilst couched easily on to that broad
belly, and lying between her ample breasts, and steadied by her large
thighs, my prick lying down against her gap, kissing and sucking each
other's mouths, she glided her hand down, and introduced my pendulous
doodle to her randy cunt, and again we fucked. We were mad for it,
neither of us uttered a word, till she cried out, "Oh! I'm coming,&mdash;my
God,&mdash;ah!" And then we spent, and went fast asleep again, exhausted with
the pleasure.
</p>
<p>
We were awakened by a knock. "Who's there?" "Hannah." "What do you
want?" "Are you going to stop all night?" "No," said I jumping out of
bed, "what o'clock is it?" "It's half-past twelve." "Come to bed," said
Louisa. In I jumped. "Oh! I'm so hungry," said she, "how I should like
some oysters." "So should I,&mdash;get up, and we'll go and have some before
the shop closes." "No, stop here, Hannah will get them." I agreed,
ordered them, and we went on twiddling each other's privates, I
recollect the feel of hers at this very moment,&mdash;it was like a
paste-pot.
</p>
<p>
I had never seen her person yet. The throwing her on to the bed, and
lifting her clothes, her stripping, and jumping into bed had been so
rapid, and so randy had both of us been, so anxious to copulate, that I
had had no time to look, to contemplate, to enjoy her with my eyesight.
Now off went the bed clothes. "Let's look at your cunt." "I won't till
I've washed." "No now." I pulled one thigh. "No you dirty dog,&mdash;it's
not nice." She jumped out of bed, and washed her quim, I my prick, we
pissed, and then she threw herself on the bed, and delivered her body up
to me. When I had had a quarter of an hour's investigation, she amused
herself with looking and pulling my prick about, waiting for our supper.
</p>
<p>
She was a very fine tall woman, stout and well-built. She said she was
twenty-four, but I believe she was thirty. She looked less stout with
her clothes on than when she was undressed, for I was much surprised to
see how very big she was when naked. She had a very big arm, her thighs
and legs were very big as well. Hannah was right about it, the entire
legs were grand, but had not the exquisite curves of Sarah Mavis'. Her
bum was proportionate to her thighs, her waist was not nearly small
enough, her breasts were very large, and beautifully placed, and
beautifully solid; her face was large and common-place, she had
grey eyes, and lightest auburn hair,&mdash;immense in quantity, which was
pleasing, though not handsome; it was not a face which in the streets
would have attracted me. Her teeth were good.
</p>
<p>
The hair on her cunt, which was thick-lipped and pouting, was also of a
lightish auburn, not by any means a colour to my taste when between the
thighs,&mdash;so many women's cunts are furnished with that colour. It was
thick, longish, soft in feel, large in quantity, and spread half-way up
to her navel, and square across her belly to the line of her thighs. I
guessed it a thirty year old cunt from that. She was a lovely fucker,
and though her cunt was a large one inside and out; the prick was well
clipped by it, and kept in when its business was done. There was such
room to lie on her between her thighs, and all seemed so well placed
to hold a man, that I often thought of her in after time when fucking
Sarah, who was the very reverse; who always made me bend my back when
fucking, and from whose quim my prick would always slip, unless we both
made some effort to retain it after I had spent. Sarah rarely did that,
hating the muck. Indeed when Sarah was randy, and wagged her arse as she
did violently, all of a sudden just before she spent, she often threw my
stiff prick out, which set me off damning and cursing till it was up her
again.
</p>
<p>
The oysters came, and champagne with them, we went to bed again, and sat
in chemise and shirt to eat them, said I, "let's have another fuck naked
again," for the touch of her large fleshy body to mine had entranced
me, and thus we fucked. Another doze. "Ulloh! why it's three o'clock,&mdash;I
must be off." "Don't go dear,&mdash;stop all night." "I can't,&mdash;they will
think I am ill." "So they will me, but I can't go home, I live too far
off,&mdash;do stop all night with me, there's a darling," said she.
</p>
<p>
Instead of a doze we had slept two hours. I at times stopped out all
night, and never without saying I intended to do so, but I was tired and
sleepy. "Oh! don't go." I put on my shirt. "Well let's have another
poke before you go,&mdash;the champagne has made me so randy." It had also
operated on me. I looked, there were her breasts naked just peeping
above the bedclothes, one arm out, the hand under her head, the big
white fleshy arm, and the thick sandy brown hair in the armpits. "Come,"
said she uncovering to her knees. Off went my shirt, and jumping into
bed the thighs received me, the voluptuous tongue and round, soft,
wet lips glued themselves on to mine again, and heaving gently we were
already on the way to another spend. My God what work, what prolonged
pleasure!&mdash;I forgot Sarah Mavis, and every other woman that night
in the arms of Louisa. In baudy amusement we passed the whole night
together, and I awakened at ten the next morning with the need of going
as fast as I could to shit.
</p>
<p>
I came back, washed, and we fucked again; then she went as she said to
speak to Hannah, whom I knew was a bed at that time; she went I knew to
empty herself, but I asked no questions. We had ham and coffee in bed,
and more fucking, and about one o'clock we rose and left. My finger must
have smelt of cunt I should think for twenty-four hours afterwards, for
I had scarcely left Louisa's cunt for eighteen hours; if my prick was
not up her my fingers were, when not asleep. Whether spunk was in it
or not was all the same, there was no objecting, she gave way to my
insistance, and we lay at intervals, she feeling my prick, one of
her legs placed over mine, and my hand between her thighs, both of us
kissing, tongue-sucking, and scarcely talking. I barely recollect our
talk at all,&mdash;it was one long baudy night; how many times we fucked I
can't say, but it was one of my great exercises. She was tired, and so
was I, yet at the last moment, "Let's try it again," I said: "No, I'm
sore, and in pain," said she. I sometimes think my prick must have been
nearly a dozen times up her, and when ramming stiff for a long time
without spending she murmured, "Oh! pray dear leave off."
</p>
<p>
We fucked in no other fashion than belly to belly, we were naked the
whole night, and did nothing outside the bed. When I had paid for the
room, supper and breakfast, I only had a few shillings left. I told her.
"Never mind," said she, "you shall give me some money some day when I am
hard up;" so I paid her nothing then.
</p>
<p>
I recollect all this distinctly, I always do the incidents of a first
night with a female. When I am accustomed to them, the more striking
circumstances of our acquaintance remain in my memory. It seems to
me that first night's incidents will always remain fresh in my
recollection, excepting the number of fucks; I recollect up to about
half-a-dozen, then I lose count, there my memory of a first night alone
fails me.
</p>
<p>
I took a liking for Louisa. For nearly a year I had borne with the
frigidity of Sarah and her tyranny, "You shall only do it once,&mdash;I
won't,&mdash;I can't wait,&mdash;well go," were commands I had got accustomed to
obey, had bowed to refusals to allow her secret charms to be looked
at time after time, to have my prick ejected before the last injecting
throb had been given. I liked the woman, doted on her exquisite form,
liked the domesticity of sitting and reading to her, and at the same
time just feeling her cunt whilst she laid on the sofa, because I liked
her conversation, and because I was at times rewarded by rapturous
delight when she abandoned herself body and soul to me, I submitted to
all this. But I often rebelled, wished it was otherwise, and made up
my mind to leave her for other women, yet did not. I have said all this
before.
</p>
<p>
Now to have a splendidly made woman, who had as much pleasure with me as
I had with her, was overwhelming. I forgot Sarah for a time, and longed
for the repetition of the baudy, voluptuous hours I had had with the
big-armed, big-thighed Louisa, and counted the days till we met again.
The instant I set eyes upon her we went upstairs. "Let's get into bed."
Then it was a race who undressed the first. "Naked?" "Yes naked." She
laughed. "Look at your thing," said she as sitting down she pissed. It
was stiff as a poker; the next minute I was laying bedded on that soft
fleshy form, and we were spending. What a fat, luscious, and grand cunt
she had, though three fingers went up it easily.
</p>
<p>
Then to my delight she threw up her limbs a little, and crossing them
over me pressed her cunt close up to my willing cock-roots; and there
we lay, my prick in her, my balls covering her arse-hole; whilst now
and then she gripped my prick by muscular cuntal action. When her tongue
touched mine, she sometimes ran her lithsome tongue over my teeth, or
under my lips, and along my gums,&mdash;it was a peculiarity of hers. Then
she would glue her wet lips to my wet lips, till our salivas mingled,
and ran profusely, stimulating our lusts. Thus we enjoyed each other's
bodies, till another fuck dissolved us, and separated our spunk-soaked
genitals; and she got up, washed, and went away sometimes in a great
hurry.
</p>
<p>
Soon I grumbled at her going so, and she promised to stop a longer
time. "Have a shoulder of mutton," said she, "and onion sauce,&mdash;I love
it,&mdash;Hannah will cook it beautifully,&mdash;we will dine at two o'clock,
Hannah with us." So it came about; we three sat down to a shoulder.
Louisa liked sherry, Hannah brandy; I brought both of fine quality, we
gorged, Hannah got slightly tight, observing Louisa and I caressing.
"Ah!" said she, "I envy you, you two going to bed." "Why where is Jack?"
"Oh! at Windsor, and I shan't have a bit for a month at least." "You'll
have to frig yourself," said I joking. "That's better than nothing, but
I like the wetting best." Louisa laughed, and used afterwards to say to
Hannah, "Has Jack given you a wetting?" Later on some other free ladies
took up the joke, and Hannah's "wetting" became a bye-word among the
circle of free, mercenary lovers.
</p>
<p>
Dinner over we hurried upstairs, and we went naked to bed. This was
about half-past three; there we lay till eleven o'clock at night, and
had an oyster supper in bed. Hannah came up, and ate oysters with us
whilst we were in bed together. We ate them out of the shells, and drank
champagne, heard happy couples over head, and joked about it, talked
about fine limbs, about Sarah's fine legs. "Show us yours Hannah," said
Louisa. Hannah without a word cocked one leg up against the bed, and
drew up her petticoats to the top of one thigh. "There," said she, "I am
not ashamed of it." She had a fine leg, but was a very plain woman. She
had shown her leg to me on the day of the leg-show, when I had spent
involuntarily, as I have already told. We laughed and praised her leg.
"Oh! I'm ashamed of you both," said Hannah dropping her petticoats,
laughing, and hurrying out of the room. "I know where his fingers are."
She was right, Louisa was sitting up in bed, her legs half up, but
covered, I half reclining by the side of her, had thrust my hand under
the thighs, and was feeling her cunt.
</p>
<p>
Hannah left the room. We began fucking, I was on the top operating when
the door opened, and a couple showed themselves. We heard a voice crying
out, "Not there Ma'am, it's occupied," and Hannah's sister rushing in
ejected a man and woman who had entered before they saw a couple were in
the bed. We were too far advanced to mind, I uncunted with the object
of closing the door, but the servants having done so, we consumated
and dozed off; nor was it till the servant came to say we ought to be
careful, that I got up and bolted the door.
</p>
<p>
Then began a regular meeting once a week, and sometimes twice. Money
seemed no object to Louisa, she took what I gave, and never asked for
more; once or twice she said, "I want a bonnet dear,&mdash;give me one,"&mdash;or
a new pair of boots, or was hard up for a trifle, and then I gave her
all I could; but she had not in a couple of months as much as at the
last period of my acquaintance with her, Sarah had from me in three
days. But she let me spend money in oysters and champagne suppers, and
early dinners, Guardsman Jack who had come back from Windsor, used often
to get his fill. I once saw Jack in bed with Hannah, and his scarlet
uniform on the chair; he turned himself round with his face to the wall
when I entered. He had a thick head of black hair, which is all I saw.
</p>
<p>
Louisa was a voluptuous poke, and enjoyed the fun as much as a woman
could. I think, (but recollection on that point is not clear, when I
come to comparison), that she was the nicest woman to lay on I ever
had. I was slim, though far from a skeleton, and as I laid naked on her
between her large breasts, and between her thighs slightly elevated (for
she usually raised her legs, after we had fucked and she had recovered
from her pleasure, or when I mounted her for preliminary dalliance), I
could scarcely roll off of her without an effort. She had also when her
pleasure was increasing, a movement of her whole body, and not of her
cunt and backside alone; her breasts quivered with a gentle, perfectly
natural motion, and I could feel her flesh moving and rubbing against
mine from belly to neck in a way which stirred lust in me from the hair
of my head to the soles of my feet; I seemed to feel all over her body
at once, and it was most delicious. She had a lovely lasciviousness with
her tongue. If my tongue was in her mouth when she spent, she almost
sucked it out of me, and the clipping of her cunt after my prick had
been relieved from its stiffness I have already mentioned. Her length
of arm enabled her to squeeze my balls when in various positions, and
no woman ever let me pull her about and look at her cunt, whether it
was clean or spunky, more freely than she did. With many it is evidently
business, with her it seemed pleasure. She took a delight in all I did,
even when I washed her cunt.
</p>
<p>
(My pleasures however with her were of a simple kind. I had none of the
varied erotic pleasures that I now know, the bum-hole and mouth were
reserved for the enjoyment of my more matured years.) I should have
seen her more frequently, but she would only come at the outside twice
a week. No it was impossible,&mdash;she lived too far off. I tried to get
out of Hannah some knowledge about her, but could not. One day only when
fuddled she asked if I had heard she was married. "You mean," said I,
"living with a man." "No really married, and been so for years,&mdash;oh!
don't you tell her,&mdash;she'll cut the house if you do."
</p>
<p>
At the end of perhaps three months I was in bed with her; we had poked,
reposed, and were in amorous dalliance, lying face to face, she with one
limb over my haunch, so that I could feel her cunt well, she twiddling
my somewhat exhausted prick. "I have a surprise for you," she said. "For
me,&mdash;what?" "I'm in the family way." "The devil,&mdash;whose fault is that?"
"No one's fault, and perhaps no misfortune,&mdash;would you like a child?"
"I?&mdash;why?" (I had a presentiment of what was coming.) "Because it is
yours." "Nonsense." "It is my dear,&mdash;I have felt certain of it for some
time past, but waited to be quite sure before telling you." "Are you
quite sure?" "As certain as I am that I shall die."
</p>
<p>
I was flabbergasted, felt distressed, as if I had done her some harm
that I could not repair, that I had injured her, and should cause
her pain and annoyance. It was succeeded by a fear that I should have
trouble through it, and expense that I could not afford. Then came the
idea that she was selling me, putting a plant on me; that if she were
with child it was another man's, not mine. Then came a belief over me
that what she said was true, that her pleasure in my embraces was so
real, so unlike that of the ordinary gay women, that the result might
be due to me. Overwhelmed I lay quiet, confused with the tumultuous
thoughts and feelings which rushed through my brain.
</p>
<p>
At length I said, "Are you sure?" "Yes." "It may be your husband's" (for
Hannah's hints came to my mind). "He!&mdash;he!&mdash;the miserable, contemptible
little wretch!&mdash;he?" She left off feeling my cock, raised herself on her
elbow, and looking at me said, "Who told you I was married?" "No one."
"Some one has." "No one,&mdash;but I have more than once fancied you were
married by the difficulty I have in getting you to come to meet me when
I want." "Some one has told you." "No one has." "I'm a damned fool,"
said she, "I dare say you know more than you say,&mdash;what do you know?"
"Nothing." "It's your child, and no one else's,&mdash;I'm sorry I have told
you,&mdash;say nothing more about it,"&mdash;and she turned on her back. "Are you
married?" "Of course not, or I should not be in bed with you." "Some man
is keeping you perhaps." "No one is keeping me either," said she.
</p>
<p>
I could not keep quiet, so much was I excited, and thought of the man
she met at J... s Street still, although she tried to hide that. I did
not like to suggest it, for I had found out that any reference to
him annoyed her, and I always avoided giving pain to any woman I had
connection with; but the matter seemed so grave that I could not keep
what was on my mind to myself, and as delicately as I could suggested
him.
</p>
<p>
"It's not," said she fiercely, "it can't be." "Why?" "You are the only
man who has spent in me for years." "What," said I incredulously, "no
one had you?" "No one has spent in me but you for years,&mdash;no one." I was
staggered, but returned to the subject. "Nonsense Louisa,&mdash;how can you
tell?" "I've told you why." "Why if you've a husband, and if you have a
friend who meets you, how can you be sure it's me?"
</p>
<p>
"I have no husband, and it's no friend,&mdash;if you don't believe it, I tell
you on my oath, on my body and soul, and may I go to hell when I die, if
it be not true, that no man has spent in me for years but you." "No
man has fucked you!&mdash;what do they do then?" "That's no concern of
yours,&mdash;but no man's stuff has ever been up me for quite two years but
yours,&mdash;I'm not going to say any more about it,&mdash;my business is not
yours,&mdash;nobody has asked you to keep the child,&mdash;you need not trouble
yourself,&mdash;I'm sorry I told you." She turned her bum to me, and began to
cry; I tried to comfort her.
</p>
<p>
"That will do," said she, "give me some oysters and champagne." I
ordered them, then wanted another fuck. "No you shan't have it,"&mdash;nor
would she let me. The oysters and champagne made her more complaisant,
but she was angry and snappish. After another fuck she got up and left
me before her usual time, and I went away wondering at this, and at the
number of women who had been, or who said they had been with child by
me.
</p>
<p>
Soon after she was loving, sad, and serious, was sorry I would not have
liked the child, for it was certainly mine, but she would get rid of it.
Then in the familiarity of a lewd man and woman naked in bed together,
she told me a lot about herself.
</p>
<p>
She <i>was</i> married, she lived with him and her mother, but loathed
her husband. "He,&mdash;he the miserable wretch,&mdash;he touch <i>me</i>, the
dirty beast!&mdash;I'd sooner die than let him," she cried, "if he wanted
even,&mdash;but he does not want <i>me</i>,&mdash;what he wants he gets elsewhere, not
with <i>me</i>," said she with strong emphasis. If she left him, she would
have to support her mother alone,&mdash;perhaps it would come to that some
day,&mdash;she was quite prepared for it. They ate and drank together when
he was at home, but had not slept together for years. He kept the house
comfortably enough,&mdash;perhaps he would so long as she took trouble about
it, for he did not care so long as he got his food good. Yes she did
meet a friend. It got her luxuries she could not get any other way; her
husband knew she got money elsewhere, for she dressed in a way he must
know his money would not enable her to do. He asked no questions, and
did not care nor heed, nor seem to notice. That was pretty well all I
ever got out of her. Hannah drunk, and talking to me one day said he was
a very little man, and a brewer's clerk, "a hop o' my thumb," she called
him. "Never mind what my friend does," said Louisa, "I've known him some
years,&mdash;he does something of course, he does not meet me for nothing,
but I tell you he has never spent in me,&mdash;no man has spent in me for
years but you." "Do you frig your friend?" "If you like, anything else
you like, it's all the same,&mdash;I'm not going to say; but neither he
nor any one else has spent in me,&mdash;no man's seed has been up me for
two years or more. The first night you had me I spent first, you spent
after; the next time as your seed touched me, I felt a shiver run right
through me, and I got in the family way at that very instant, I'm sure."
Louisa was particular in her language, she never said "spunk,"&mdash;thought
it a nasty word,&mdash;she always said "seed," or "stuff" when she spoke of
my sperm,&mdash;Sarah called it "muck".
</p>
<p>
Though I had had such lots of women, and had heard of most things,
yet simple, straightforward fucking had engrossed me, I rarely had
out-of-the-way lusts and letches, and I never thought to ask if her
friend buggered or sucked her, or if she sucked him, or what little
amusements they were up to. At all events she must have satisfied him
some way, for he had known her she said some years. A man was likely to
stick to Louisa, for she was a magnificent piece of flesh, from her neck
to her ankles.
</p>
<p>
So I believed Louisa, and felt interested in her belly beginning to
swell, but did not want the young one, or the troubles of paternity, or
to get her into trouble; besides I had no affection for her, though I
liked fucking her better and better.
</p>
<p>
Louisa then was away ill; I saw her again when her womb was cleared out,
and we took to fucking as usual. One day in baudy vagaries we had been
posturing, and she straddled across my face, bringing her cunt right on
to my mouth, and my nose to her bum, she had been asking me if I ever
kissed Sarah in any way but the straight one. She began kissing my peg
as she lay on the top of me, I kissed her buttocks, but took no hint, if
any were intended. She was very heavy, and I noticed for the first time
a strongish odour from her cunt which annoyed me; afterwards I used
often to fancy she had a strong smell about her quim, and was fool
enough to tell her so, which offended her? but we made it up.
</p>
<p>
After a little time she began asking me if I had not forgotten
Sarah,&mdash;did I love her as much?&mdash;did I long to have her again?&mdash;did she
(Louisa) not give me as much pleasure as Sarah? I had then got over my
desolation a little, and only thought of Sarah and her exquisite form
with a sigh, was annoyed that she had not written to me, and I began to
confess to myself, that for fucking, Sarah was not to be compared with
Louisa. Then I began to wonder at my having been so infatuated, and
let it out to Louisa one night. She said she wished I would keep
<i>her</i>,&mdash;three pounds a week, and she would make it do, and so on; and I
began to think seriously about the matter, for the expenses at the baudy
house were nearly that amount; and although my delicate senses had began
to revolt at the strong smell of Louisa, yet her voluptuousness was
enticing, and was making me actually constant to her. I had quite left
off my Mulatto, Brighton Bessie, and one or two others of my queens.
</p>
<p>
Louisa was again taken ill,&mdash;the consequence of her miscarriage, and of
the measures taken to bring that on I was told. She got worse and worse,
and was in great danger; she never wrote to me, but often to Hannah, and
her letters which I saw always referred to me affectionately; above all
she wanted to know what ladies I had at J...s Street. Hannah winking at
me used to say, "I'd like to know where you put it away now,&mdash;it's put
somewhere." I had taken no women to that house; but laughing said I was
chaste. Hannah did not believe that, so I said I frigged myself. "You
don't spill it about in that way," said she, "let me feel it,"&mdash;and she
put her hand outside my clothes on to my tool. "Oho!&mdash;oho!&mdash;oho!" said
she, for I stiffened. Then she brought me her accounts to cast up, and
when it was done, "I shall take a nap," said she, "you go now, for I
expect Mrs. &mdash;&mdash;&mdash; and a strange lady" (I had looked in casually that
morning),&mdash;and getting on to the bed she laid down showing her legs
liberally, and looking at me all the time. "Good bye," I said, and left;
but have thought since that Hannah wanted me to have her. She never
before or since looked at me in that way, nor behaved with such freedom
when we were alone.
</p>
<p>
Her bed was as I have I think already told, in the front-parlour in
J...s Street, and in an alcove, as many beds are in French hotels and
houses; and when the curtains were drawn across it, the bed was entirely
hidden.
</p>
<p>
And then when without a woman at my command, and with a frequent need
for one, another piece of luck befell me. The way had been paved for it
before Louisa was so ill.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0016"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XVI.
</h2>
<pre>
A friend's maid-servant.&mdash;Jenny.&mdash;Initial familiarity.&mdash;A
bum pinched.&mdash;Jenny communicative.&mdash;Her young man.&mdash;An
attempt, a failure, a faint, a look, and a sniff.&mdash;
Restoratives.
</pre>
<p>
I knew an elderly couple who were childless, and lived in a nice little
house in the suburbs with a long garden in front, and one at the back
as well; they were in comfortable but moderate circumstances, and kept
two servants only. Every year they went to the seaside, taking one
servant with them, and leaving the other at home to look after the
house; and usually some one to take charge of it with her. This year
they asked if I would when I passed the house (as I frequently did) call
in, and see if all was going properly, for the housemaid left in charge
was young, and her sister, a married woman, usually only stopped the
night with her, leaving early each morning for work in which she was
daily engaged. She was an upholstress.
</p>
<p>
I knew the servant whose name was Jane. She had been with the family
some months. I often dined at the house; and once or twice when she had
opened the garden-gate (always locked at nightfall), to let me out, I
had kissed her, and tipped her shillings. She was a shortish, fat-bummed
wench. Not long before this time I gave her bum such a hard pinch one
night, that she cried out. A day or two afterwards I said, "Was it
not black and blue?" "I don't know." "Let me see." "It's like your
impertinance," she replied.
</p>
<p>
After that I used to ask her when I got the chance, to let me see if
the finger-marks were there, at which she would blush a little, and turn
away her head, but nothing further had come of the liberty.
</p>
<p>
When I called at the house I had no intention about the girl, as far as
I can recollect. She opened the door, and heard my errand and questions.
Yes all was right. Did her sister come and sleep there? Yes. Was she
there now? No, she would not be there till nearly dark. I stepped
inside, for then I thought of larking with her. "I am tired, and will
rest a little," and stepped into the parlour, sat down on a sofa, began
questioning her about a lot of trifles, and in doing so thought of the
pinch I had given her bum, and my cock began to tingle. Then I thought
she was alone in the house. "Oh! if she would let me fuck her!&mdash;has she
been broached?&mdash;she is nice and plump." Curiosity increased my lust, and
unpremeditatingly I began the approaches for the attack, though I only
meant a little amatory chaffing.
</p>
<p>
"Is it black and blue yet Jenny?" She did not for the instant seem to
recollect, for she asked me innocently enough, "What sir?" "Your bum
where I pinched it." She laughed, checked herself, coloured up, and
said, "Oh! don't begin that nonsense sir." I went on chaffing. "How
I should like to have pinched it under your clothes,&mdash;but no I would
sooner kiss it than pinch it." "Oh! if you're a going on like that I'll
go to the kitchen." I stood before the door, and stopped her going out.
"Now give me a kiss." I caught and kissed her, then gave a lot, and got
a return from her. "I won't&mdash;Lor there then,&mdash;what a one you are,"&mdash;and
so on. "Well Jenny one kiss, and you may afterwards kiss whenever you
want you know." And so she seemed to think, for I got her to sit down
on the sofa, and we gossiped and kissed at intervals, till my cock got
unruly. "What a fat bum you have," said I. Then she attempted to rise, I
pulled her back, we went on gossiping, and kissing at intervals. She got
quite interested in my talk as I sat with one arm round her waist, and
another on her thigh, outside her clothes of course.
</p>
<p>
So for a while; but I was approaching another stage, was getting randy,
and reckless. "Lord how I'd like to be in bed with you, to feel that fat
bum of yours, to feel your c&mdash;u&mdash;n&mdash;t," spelling it, "to f&mdash;u&mdash;-c&mdash;k it
I'd give a five-pound note," said I all in a burst, and stooping, got
my hand up her clothes on to her thigh. She gave a howl. "Oh! I say
now,&mdash;what a shame!&mdash;oh! you beast." I shoved her back on the sofa
upsetting her, got my lips on her thighs, and kissed them. Then she
escaped me, and breathing hard, stood up looking at me after her
struggle. "Oh! I wouldn't have believed it," said she panting with the
exertion. What a lot of women I have heard say, they would not have
believed it, when I first made a snatch at their privates. I suppose
they say what they mean.
</p>
<p>
Begging her pardon, "I could not help it," I said, "you are so pretty
and nice,&mdash;I'd give ten pounds to be in bed with you an hour." "Well I'm
sure." "Think what it is not to have a woman you like." "Well I'm sure
sir, you are a married man,&mdash;you've got a partner, and ought to know
better,&mdash;Missus would not have asked you to call if she'd a know'd
you,&mdash;she thinks there's no gent like you,&mdash;what would she say if I tell
her?" "But you won't my dear." "She thinks you a perfect gentleman, and
most unlucky," the girl went on to say, "and she is sorry for you too."
</p>
<p>
"Oh! she does not know all, but you've heard, have you Jenny?" I tried
to make her sit on the sofa again, and promising that I would not forget
myself any more she did so. We kissed and made it up, and talking I soon
relapsed into baudiness.
</p>
<p>
The quarrelsome life I led with the oldish woman at home was I knew well
understood by the old couple. "I lead a miserable life," said I. "Oh!
yes I know all about it," said the girl, "Master and Missus often talk
about you,&mdash;but you're very gay, ain't you?" Then I told this girl a
lot. "Think my dear what it is not even to sleep with a woman for two
months,&mdash;for two months we have never slept together,&mdash;I've never seen
her undressed,&mdash;never touched her flesh,&mdash;you know what people marry
for,&mdash;I want a woman,&mdash;you know what I mean don't you,&mdash;every night what
am I to do?&mdash;I love laying belly to belly naked with a nice woman, and
taking my pleasure with her,&mdash;so of course I can't keep from having
other women at times,&mdash;you don't know what an awful thing it is to have
a stiff prick, and not a nice woman to relieve it." She gave me a push,
got up, and made for the door at the word prick. Again I stopped her.
She had sat staring at me with her mouth wide open, without saying a
word, all the time I had been telling the baudy narrative of domestic
trouble, as if she were quite stupefied by my plain language until she
suddenly jumped up, and made for the door without saying a word.
</p>
<p>
I was as quick as she, caught her, put my back against the door, and
would not let her go, but could not get her to look me in the face,
I had so upset her. There we stood, I begging her to sit down, and
promising not to talk so again, she saying, "Now let me go,&mdash;let me
out." "No,&mdash;sit down." "No." But in about a quarter of an hour she did,
and then again I told her of my trouble, avoided all straighforward
allusion to my wanting other women, but hinted it enough. She got
interested, and asked me no end of questions. "Lord why don't you
separate,&mdash;if I quarrel with my husband so, I'm sure I will,&mdash;I tell my
young man so." "Oh! you have a sweetheart." Yes she had,&mdash;a grocer's
shopman,&mdash;he lived at Brighton, came up third class to see her every
fortnight, starting early, and going back late. She was flattered by
my enquiries, told me all about him and herself, their intention to
get married in a year; and I sat and listened with one hand outside her
clothes on her thigh, and thinking how I could best manage to get into
her.
</p>
<p>
"He goes with women," said I to make her jealous. "He don't I'm
sure,&mdash;if he did, and I found it out, I'd tear his eyes out, and break
off with him, though he says Brighton is a dreadful place for them
hussies." She got quite excited at the idea. "When he comes up, you and
he enjoy yourselves,&mdash;his hands have been where mine have to-night." "No
he hasn't,&mdash;if he dared I'd&mdash;now I don't like this talk,&mdash;you said you
wouldn't,&mdash;leave me alone,&mdash;you keep breaking your word." Another
little scuffle, a kiss, and a promise. "Why should you not enjoy
yourselves?&mdash;who would know anything about it but yourselves,&mdash;it's so
delicious to feel yourselves naked in each other's arms, your bellies
close together." "Get away now,"&mdash;and she tried to get up. I got my hand
up her clothes, pulled her on to the sofa, and holding her down with
one hand, pressed myself sideways on her, and kissed her, pulling out my
prick with the other.
</p>
<p>
Then she cried out so loudly that I was alarmed, for the window at the
back was open. "Hush,&mdash;be quiet,&mdash;there,&mdash;I've touched your cunt." I
pulled one of her hands on to my prick. "Oh! for shame Jenny you touched
my prick." Again she got up, and made for the door; so did I, and stood
there with my back to it, and my poker out in front of me. "Come and
open the door my dear, and you will run against this." She turned her
head away, and would not look. "Why don't you come on?&mdash;if you run up
against it, it won't hurt you,&mdash;it's soft though it's stiff." "I'll
write to my Mistress to-night," said she, and turned away. "Do my
pet,&mdash;tell her how stiff it was, and the old lady will want to see it
when she comes back." "It's disgraceful." "No my dear, it's to be proud
of,&mdash;why you're looking at it I can see."
</p>
<p>
Then she turned quite away. "That's right dear,&mdash;now I can see where I
pinched your bum,&mdash;it was not far from your little quim,&mdash;oh! if that
could talk, it would ask to be introduced to this,&mdash;it's hot, isn't it
Jenny?" I said, this and a lot more. She had walked to the back-window,
and stood looking into the garden whilst I rattled on. "You're laughing
Jenny." "It's a story," said she, "I'm insulted,"&mdash;and turned round with
a stern face. I shook my tooleywagger. "How ill-tempered you look,&mdash;come
and feel this, and you'll be sweet-tempered at once." She turned round
to the window again.
</p>
<p>
"I <i>will</i> write my Missus,&mdash;that I <i>will</i>." "Do dear."
</p>
<p>
"My sister will be here directly." "You said she comes at dusk,&mdash;it
won't be dark for three hours." "I wish you would go,&mdash;what will people
say if they know you're here?" "Don't be uneasy,&mdash;they will know no more
than they know of your doings with your young man." "There is nothing to
know about, but what is quite proper."
</p>
<p>
So we stood. She looking out of the window, and turning round from time
to time. I standing by the door with my prick out; then I approached
her quietly. "Feel it Jenny,&mdash;take pity on it." "Oh! for God's sake
sir, what are you doing?" She turned and pushed me back, then retreated
herself, keeping her face to the window as she stepped backwards. "Oh!
there is Miss and Mrs. Brown walking in the next garden." Sure enough
there were two ladies there; they could have seen everything close to
the window over the low wall which separated the gardens; and had they
been looking, must have seen Jenny, me, and my prick. "Oh! if they have
seen, they will tell my Missus, and she'll tell my young man, and
I shall be ruined,&mdash;oh!&mdash;oh!&mdash;oh!" said she sinking back into an
arm-chair with a flood of tears,&mdash;half funk and shock, and perhaps
randiness, causing it.
</p>
<p>
I was alarmed. "Oh!" she sobbed, "if they saw you,&mdash;hoh!&mdash;ho!&mdash;and it
was no fault of mine,&mdash;you're a bad man,&mdash;oho! oho!" She sat with
her hands to her face, her elbows on her knees. I dropped on my knees
imploring her to be quiet, was sure no one had seen me, and tried to
kiss her. The position was inviting, I slid my hands up her clothes
between her thighs, she took no notice, was evidently in distress, not
even conscious of the invasion. A bold push, and my fingers touched
her cunt. I forgot all in the intensity of my enjoyment, at feeling my
fingers on the edge of the soft, warm nick. No repulse, I looked up,
she sank back in the chair, seemingly unconscious and deadly white.
</p>
<p>
I withdrew my hand, then came a mental struggle; my first impulse was to
get cold water, the next to look at her cunt. I went towards the door,
turned round to look at her. Her calves were visible, I ran back, and
lifted her clothes, so that I could just see her cunt-hair, gave her
thighs a kiss, and then rushed downstairs, got water, and as I entered
the room she was recovering. She knew nothing or next to nothing of what
had occured, nor that my fingers had touched her clitoris, though she
had not actually fainted.
</p>
<p>
"I wish I had some brandy," she said, "I feel so weak." "Is there any
in the side-board?" "No." "I'll go and get a little." A few hundred feet
from the house down a side-door, was a public-house. As I was going,
"You will let me in again?" I said. "If you promise not to touch me."
She looked so pale that I fetched brandy, but put the street-door key
in my pocket as I went. "If she don't let me in," I thought, "she shan't
have the key,&mdash;and what will she tell her sister about that?" It was
a key almost as big as a shovel; she never noticed that I had taken it
away. She thought by her dodge that she had got rid of me, and told me
so afterwards.
</p>
<p>
I brought back the brandy and knocked. "Let me in." "I won't." "Then you
shan't have the street-door key." This was spoken to each other through
the closed door. A pause, then the door opened. "You are coming Jenny."
We went downstairs into the kitchen, she had brandy and water, and so
had I. It was a hot day, the pump-water was deliriously cool, I made
hers as strong as she would take it,&mdash;it was an instinct of mine. She
got her colour back, and became talkative, we talked about her fainting,
but she tried to avoid talking about it, and did not want me to refer to
what had led to it. I did, and was delighted to think that it was owing
to what is called "exposing my person."
</p>
<p>
"I don't think the ladies saw it, so you need not have been so
frightened Jenny,&mdash;but you saw it, did you not?" No reply. "I saw you
looking at it." "It's a story." "Why did you faint?" "I always feel
faint if I am startled." "What startled you?" "Nothing." "You saw it,
and you put your hand over it to hide it, and you touched it." "It's a
story,&mdash;I wish you'd go." "You ungrateful little devil, when I've just
fetched you brandy." "It's through you that I felt ill." "Why?" No
reply. "Don't be foolish,&mdash;it was for fear that the ladies should have
seen my prick so near you,&mdash;now look at it,"&mdash;and I pulled it out, it
was not stiff. "It was twice the size when you saw it,&mdash;feel it, and it
will soon be bigger."
</p>
<p>
The girl rose saying she would go and remain in the forecourt till her
sister came, if I did not leave, but I prevented her going out of the
kitchen. She began to cry again, and had a little more brandy and water.
My talk took its old channel.
</p>
<p>
"Do you know how long you were fainting?" "I didn't faint, but only a
minute or so." "Do you know what I did?" She was sitting down, then got
upright, looked at me full in the face, her eyes almost starting out of
her head. "What did you do!&mdash;what?&mdash;what?&mdash;what?" She spoke hurriedly,
anxiously, in an agitated manner. "I threw up your clothes, kissed your
cunt, and felt it."
</p>
<p>
"It's a lie,&mdash;it's a lie." "It's true,&mdash;and the hair is short, and
darker than the hair of your head,&mdash;and your thighs are so white,&mdash;and
your garters are made of blue cloth,&mdash;and I felt it, the dear little
split,&mdash;how I wish my belly had been up against it I&mdash;what a lovely
smell it has!" (putting my fingers to my nose).
</p>
<p>
"Oho!&mdash;oho!&mdash;oho!" said she bursting into tears, "what a shame to take
liberties with a poor girl when she can't help herself,&mdash;oho!&mdash;oho!&mdash;you
must be a bad man,&mdash;Missus had no business to send you to look after
me, as if she could not trust me,&mdash;she don't know what sort of man you
are,&mdash;and a gentleman too,&mdash;oho!&mdash;and married too,&mdash;it's a shame,&mdash;oho!
&mdash;oho! I don't believe you though,&mdash;oho&mdash;o&mdash;o." And when I told her
again the colour and the make of her garters, she nearly howled. "You
mean man to do such a thing when I was ill."
</p>
<p>
I kissed her, she let me, but went on blubbering. "I've a good mind to
tell my young man." "That will be foolish, because you and I mean to
have more pleasure than we have had,&mdash;and he'll never be any the wiser
but if you tell him, he'll think it's your fault."
</p>
<p>
This had occupied some hours, it was getting dark, but it seemed only as
if I had been there some minutes, so deliriously exciting are lascivious
acts and words. The charm of talking baudily to a woman for the first
time, is such, that hours fly away just like minutes.
</p>
<p>
I got her on to my lap and kissed her. She was so feeble that I put my
hands up her clothes nearly to her knees before she repulsed them. Then
I feared her sister coming home; she promised to hide the brandy, and we
parted. She kissed me, and let me feel to her knees to induce me to go.
"Oh! for God's sake sir, do go before my sister comes." My last words
were. "Mind you've felt my cock, and I've felt your cunt." "Pray
go"&mdash;and I departed, leaving her tearful, excited, and in a state of
exhaustion which seemed to me unaccountable.
</p>
<p>
Probably had I persisted a little longer I should have had her, such
was the lassitude into which she had fallen; but I felt that I had made
progress, and went home rejoicing, and forming plans for the future.
When I had had some food, and thought over the matter, I came to the
conclusion that I had been a fool in leaving her, and that had I pushed
matters more determinate at the last moment, I should have certainly
fucked her before I had left. I was mad with myself when I reflected on
that, and the opportunity lost, which might not occur again.
</p>
<p>
Jenny had not fainted quite, but though unable to speak, resist, or
indeed move, she must have been partially conscious. I think this from
what I know of her nature afterwards.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0017"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XVII.
</h2>
<pre>
When are women most lewd.&mdash;Garters, money, and promises.&mdash;
About my servant.&mdash;The neckerchief.&mdash;Armpits felt.&mdash;Warm
hints.&mdash;Lewd suggestions.&mdash;Baudy language.&mdash;Tickling.&mdash;
"Fanny Hill".&mdash;Garters tried.&mdash;Red fingers.&mdash;Struggle, and
escape.&mdash;Locked out.&mdash;I leave.&mdash;Baudy predictions, and
verifications.
</pre>
<p>
I have a confused recollection of thinking myself the next day an ass,
for having missed a good opportunity of spermatizing a fresh cunt; yet
for some reason or another it must have been three days before I went to
try my luck again.
</p>
<p>
I had about this time of my life began to frame intentions, and
calculate my actions towards women; although still mostly ruled by
impulse and opportunity in love matters. My philosophy was owing to
experience, and also in a degree to my friend the Major, to whom some
years before I had confided my having commissioned a French woman to get
me a virgin. He was older, poorer, and more dissolute than ever, "He is
the baudiest old rascal that ever I heard tell a story," was the remark
of a man at our Club one night. Ask him to dinner in a quiet way by
himself, give him unlimited wine, and he would in an hour or two begin
his confidential advice in the amatory line, and in a wonderful manner
tell of his own adventures, and give reasons why he did this or that,
why he succeeded with this woman, or missed that girl, in a way as
amusing, and instructive to a young listener, as could be imagined.
</p>
<p>
"If you want to get over a girl," he would say, "never flurry her till
her belly's full of meat and wine; let the grub work. As long as she is
worth fucking, it's sure to make a woman randy at some time. If she is
not twenty-five she'll be randy directly her belly is filled,&mdash;then go
at her. If she's thirty, give her half-an-hour. If she's thirty-five let
her digest an hour, she won't feel the warmth of the dinner in her cunt
till then. Then she'll want to piss, and directly after that she'll
be ready for you without her knowing it. But don't flurry your young
un,&mdash;talk a little quiet smut whilst feeding, just to make her laugh
and think of baudy things; then when she has left table, get at her. But
it's well," the old Major would say, "to leave a woman alone in a room
for a few minutes after she has dined, perhaps then she will let slip a
fart or two, perhaps she'll piss,&mdash;she'll be all the better for the wind
and water being out. A woman's cunt doesn't get piss-proud like a man's
prick you know, they're differently made from us my boy,&mdash;but show any
one of them your prick as soon as you can, it's a great persuader. Once
they have seen it they can't forget it, it will keep in their minds.
And a baudy book, they won't ever look at till you've fucked them!&mdash;oh!
won't they!&mdash;they would at church if you left them alone with it." And
so the Major instructed us.
</p>
<p>
About three days afterwards, taking a pair of garters, two small showy
neckerchiefs, and <i>Fanny Hill</i> with me, I knocked at the door. "Oh!
you!" said she colouring up. "Yes,&mdash;is everything right?" "Yes! all
right, what should be the matter sir?" She stood at the street-door
holding it open, though I had entered the hall. I turned, closed the
door, and caught hold of her.
</p>
<p>
"Now none of that pray sir, you insulted me enough last time." "I could
not help it, you're so lovely, it's your fault,&mdash;forgive me, and I won't
do so any more,&mdash;here is a sovereign, take it, kiss me, and make it
up." "I don't want your money," said she sulkily. "Take it, I give it
with real pleasure,&mdash;what I had the other day was worth double."
</p>
<p>
"I won't be paid for your rudeness, if that's what you mean." "Lord my
dear I've no occasion to pay for that, I took it without pay,&mdash;I wish I
could get what I told you yesterday,&mdash;I'd give ten times the sum." "You
are going on again." "Don't be foolish,&mdash;take it, buy a pair of silk
stockings." "Your plump legs would look so nice in them,"&mdash;and I forced
her to put the money into her pocket.
</p>
<p>
Then I got her to the parlour, to sit down, to allow me to kiss her,
and then to talk about me and my "Missus," as she called her, a subject
which seemed to excite her, for she began asking me question after
question, and listened to all I said with breathless attention about my
daily habits, rows, and fast doings. Once I stopped at some question.
"I won't tell you that." "Oh! do,&mdash;do." "No it's curious." "Do,&mdash;do." It
was about a pretty servant-girl whom I had noticed in my house. "It will
offend you if I do." "No it won't." "Well give me a kiss then."
</p>
<p>
She kissed me. She had stood up a moment, now she sat down again by me
on the sofa. I went on with my story, every now and then I stopped till
she kissed me, it came to a kiss every minute, as I sat with my arm
round her waist, talking.
</p>
<p>
Said I, "It was a servant whom my wife turned out at a day's notice,&mdash;a
pretty girl,&mdash;I had taken to kissing her, and then I nudged her
somewhere you know. One night when she opened the door, I saw by the
light that my wife was in our bed-room. 'Is your Mistress upstairs?'
'Yes sir.' 'And the cook?' 'Yes.' Then I closed with her. 'Don't sir,
Missus will hear.' I hugged her closer, shoved her up against the wall,
got my hand on to her cunt, felt her, and gave her half-a-sovereign. How
delicious it was to get the fingers on to the wet nick of that pretty
girl, and say, 'How I should like to fuck that Mary.'" I told it in
words like that to Jenny, and she sat listening. At the word "fuck" up
she got.
</p>
<p>
"You are a going on rude again." "You asked me." "Not for that." "But
that's what I had to tell, what you kissed me to tell." "I didn't think
you would say rude things." "Sit down, and I'll tell you without rude
words." And so I did, telling all over again with additions, but instead
of saying "cunt," "fuck," and so on, said, "I got my hand you know
where,"&mdash;"and then she let me you know what,"&mdash;"she was frightened to
let me do, you guess what I wanted."
</p>
<p>
"Luckily though she foolishly told her fellow-servant, she did not say
who had been feeling her. That sneak told my wife, who told me about it,
or all she knew, and said she could not keep such an improper girl in
the house as that. 'But the other servant may have told a lie to spite
her.' 'Perhaps, but I'll turn her out too',&mdash;and so she did, both left."
</p>
<p>
Thus I talked to Jenny till I expect her quim was hot enough; then said
I, "Here is a pretty neckerchief,&mdash;put it on." "Oh! how pretty." "I
won't give it you unless you put it on." She went to the glass and
unbuttoned the top of her dress, which was made to button on the front.
I saw her white fat bosom, she threw the kerchief round the neck, and
tried to push it down the back. "Let me put it down,&mdash;it's difficult."
She let me. "You are not unbuttoned enough,&mdash;it's too tight." She undid
another button, I pushed down the kerchief, and releasing my hand as I
stood at the back of her, put it over her shoulder, and down in front,
pushing it well under her left breast. "Oh! what a lovely breast you
have,&mdash;let me kiss it."
</p>
<p>
A shriek, a scuffle; in the scuffle I burst off a button or two, which
exposed her breast, and getting my hand on to one of the globes began
feeling and kissing it. Then I slid my hand further down, and under her
armpit. "Oh! what a shame,&mdash;don't,&mdash;I don't like it." "How lovely,&mdash;kiss,
kiss,&mdash;oh! Jenny what a lot of hair I can feel under here."
"Oh!&mdash;screach,&mdash;screach,&mdash;oh! don't tickle me,&mdash;oh!&mdash;oh!,"&mdash;and she
crouched as women do who can't bear tickling. I saw my advantage. "Are
you ticklish?" "Yes,&mdash;oh!&mdash;(screach,&mdash;screach),&mdash;oh! leave off."
</p>
<p>
Instead of leaving off I tickled harder than ever. She got my hand out,
but I closed on her, tickling her under her arm, pinching her sides, and
got her into such a state of excitement, that directly I touched her she
screached with wild laughter; the very idea of being touched made her
shiver. We were on the sofa, she yelling struggling whilst I pinched
her, she trying to get away from me, but fruitlessly; I buried my face
in her breasts which were now largely exposed, and she fell back I with
my face on her, and holding her tight. Then I put one hand down, feeling
outside for her notch; that stopped her screeching, and she pushed me
off as she got up.
</p>
<p>
I soothed her, begged pardon, spoke of the hair in her armpits, wondered
if it was the same colour that it was lower down. Now she shammed anger,
boxed my ears, and we make it up. I produced the garters. "Oh! what a
lovely pair." "They're yours if you let me put them on." "I won't." "Let
me put on halfway up." "No." "Just above the ankle." "No, my stockings
are dirty." "Never mind." "No." Then she made an excuse, said she must
see to something, and left the room. I thought she was going to piddle.
</p>
<p>
She came back. I found afterwards she had been out to lace up her boots,
they were untidy. It was coquettishness, female instinct, for she wanted
the garters, and meant to let me try them on, though refusing. "Where
do you garter, about knee?" "I shan't tell you." "I've seen,&mdash;let me put
them on below the knees." "No." "Then I'll give them to another woman
who will let me." "I don't care." I threw the garters on to the table
after some fruitless attempts. I was getting awfully lewd with our
conversation.
</p>
<p>
"Do you like reading?" "Yes." "Pictures?" "Yes." "I've a curious book
here." "What is it?" I took the book out. "The Adventures of Fanny Hill."
"Who was she?" "A gay lady,&mdash;it tells how she was seduced, how she had
lots of lovers, was caught in bed with men,&mdash;would you like to read it?"
"I should." "We will read it together,&mdash;but look at the pictures,"&mdash;this
the fourth or fifth time in my life I have tried this manoeuvre with
women.
</p>
<p>
I opened the book at a picture of a plump, leering, lecherous-looking
woman squatting, and pissing on the floor, and holding a dark-red,
black-haired, thick-lipped cunt open with her fingers. All sorts of
little baudy sketches were round the margin of the picture. The early
editions of <i>Fanny Hill</i> had that frontispiece.
</p>
<p>
She was flabbergasted, silent. Then she burst out laughing, stopped and
said, "What a nasty book,&mdash;such books ought to be burnt." "I like them,
they're so funny." I turned over a page. "Look, here is she with a boy
who sold her watercresses, is not his prick a big one?" She looked
on silently, I heard her breathing hard. I turned over picture after
picture. Suddenly she knocked the book out of my hand to the other side
of the room. "I won't see such things," said she. "Won't you look at it
by yourself?" "If you leave it here I'll burn it." "No you won't, you'll
take it to bed with you." There I left the book lying, it was open and
the frontispiece showing. "Look at her legs," said I, for we could see
the picture as we sat on the sofa; and I began to kiss and tickle her
again.
</p>
<p>
She shrieked, laughed, got away, and rushed to the door. I brought her
back, desisted from tickling and lewd talking, though I was getting
randier than ever. "Now have the garters,&mdash;let me put one round the
leg, just to see how it looks,&mdash;just half-way up the calf." After much
persuasion, after pulling up my trousers, and showing how a garter
looked round my calf, she partly consented. "Promise me you won't tickle
me." I promised everything.
</p>
<p>
I dropped on one knee, she sat on the sofa. "Put one foot on my leg."
She put one foot there, and carefully raised her clothes an inch or
two above the boot-top. "A little higher." She raised it holding her
petticoats tight round the leg, and I slipped the garter round it. "It's
too loose, raise a little more." "I won't any higher,&mdash;I can see how it
looks." "Won't they look nice when they are above the knee? and won't
your young man be pleased when he sees them there." "My young man won't
see them any more than you will." "Let me slip on the other." The same
process, the same care on her part. She bestowed all her care on the
limb I was gartering, lest I should slip the garter higher up. The
remainder of her clothes were loose round her other leg. Then I pushed
my hand up her clothes and herself back on the sofa, relinquishing the
leg I was gartering.
</p>
<p>
Rapidly my hand felt thighs, hair, cunt, How wet! What is this which
catches my fingers?&mdash;what is it they are gliding between? With a yell
she pushed me away, and got up as I withdrew my fingers. She had a
napkin on, my fingers were stained red. "Oh, you beast," said she
bursting into tears. I caught hold of her, and began to tickle her; she
pushed me violently away, and escaping, rushed downstairs, slammed the
kitchen-door in my face, and locked herself in. I have been accustomed
to this behaviour on similar occasions.
</p>
<p>
I stood outside begging pardon, talking baudiness, I tried to burst open
the door, and could not. I was not fond of poorliness in women, had a
keen nose, and oftentimes could smell a woman if poorly, even with her
clothes down; how it was I did not smell <i>her</i>, considering how near
my nose had been to her split and her breasts, I can't say, but suppose
randiness overcame my other senses. I played with my prick which was in
an inflammatory state, feeling it made me much randier, I called through
the door how I wanted to fuck her, how my prick was bursting, how
I would frig myself if she did not let me. "What a hard-hearted
girl,&mdash;I'll give you ten pounds to let me,&mdash;who will know it, but you
and me?" and a lot more; but it was of no use, and at length I went
upstairs, determining to wait, and thinking that in time she might
follow me.
</p>
<p>
On the sofa I sat thinking of what I had done. There lay one garter,
I took it up, and rolled it round my pego. I rubbed the tip with it,
thinking it might be a spell. I took up <i>Fanny Hill</i>, got more excited
reading the book, looking at its salacious pictures, and feeling my
prick at the same time. Then the sense of pleasure got beyond control,
and laying down the book on the floor just beneath me, where I could
see a baudy picture, I turned on my side on the sofa, and frigged till a
shower of spunk shot out.
</p>
<p>
Then down I went. The door was still locked, my senses were calmed, but
I talked baudy, and offered her money without a reply; growing tired,
I bawled out, "I'm going,&mdash;you will let me in a day or two, and get the
ten pounds towards the new shop,&mdash;you won't be so unkind when I come
again." "I'll take good care never to let you in," said she. They were
the only words I could get out of her. I went upstairs, took a slip of
paper, and wrote on it, "I have wrapped the garter round my prick, it
is a charm. Directly you put it on I shall know, for my prick will
stiffen,&mdash;you will put it on I am sure; and directly my prick stiffens,
your cunt will long to have it up it, even if I am miles away. You will
put the garter on, for you can't help doing so,&mdash;I'm sure to fuck
you, neither you nor I could avoid it if we would. Why should we deny
ourselves the pleasure,&mdash;no one will know it, and you will be ten pounds
the richer." I wrote that or something nearly like it, and charmed with
my own wit, rubbed the garter over the top of my prick till I left the
smell on it, then laid it on the table over the paper I had written, and
went away, taking <i>Fanny Hill</i> with me.
</p>
<p>
It is a positive fact, that about two hours afterwards I had a violent
randy throbbing in my prick, and found out later on that just at that
very time she had put that garter on.
</p>
<p>
(And now for the complete understanding of what follows, it must be
stated that the house was in plan nearly like that which I inhabited
when I had my beautiful servant Mary. Kitchens in the basement, two
parlours with folding doors between them, nearly always open; and rooms
back and front over the parlours; and that my absent friend did with
those rooms whilst absent at the seaside, what was not unusual with
people of their class in those days, lock most of them up, leaving only
sufficient for the servant, or caretaker, to inhabit.)
</p>
<a name="2HCH0018"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XVIII.
</h2>
<pre>
"Fanny Hill" sent to Jenny.&mdash;My next visit.&mdash;Thunder,
lightning, sherry, and lust.&mdash;A chase round a table.&mdash;The
money taken.&mdash;Tickling and micturating.&mdash;A search for "Fanny
Hill".&mdash;A chase upstairs.&mdash;In the bed-room.&mdash;Thunder, funk,
and lewdness.&mdash;Intimidation and coaxing.&mdash;Over and under.&mdash;A
rapid spender.&mdash;Virginity doubtful.&mdash;Fears, tears, and
fucking.
</pre>
<p>
I waited a few days to ensure her poorliness being over. I had not left
her <i>Fanny Hill</i>, but why I cannot tell, for I knew how baudy books
excited a woman. The night before my next attack, I wrapped up the book,
directed it to her, gave a boy sixpence to deliver it, hid myself by a
lilac which was in the front-garden close to the road, and saw the boy
give it to her, and go off quickly as I had told him. It was just dark,
and too dark inside the passage of the house to see; for Jenny stepped
outside the house so as to get light, and stripped off the envelope.
I saw also that she opened the book, closed it, looked rapidly on both
sides, then stepped inside, and closed the door. I expect that her cunt
got hot enough that night. I saw her sister who slept with her nightly,
going through the front-garden soon afterwards, and Jenny open the door
for her. I had then moved off to a safe distance, the other side of the
road.
</p>
<p>
Jenny was fond of finery, and I had heard the old lady of the house
declaiming about it. Her pleasure at the showy neckerchief and garters
was great, so I bought a pretty broach, and filling my purse with
sovereigns determined to have her at any cost, for my letch for her had
got violent. The next day I had a good luncheon, went to the house just
after her dinnertime, and took with me a bottle of sherry. I recollect
the morning well. It was a sultry day, reeking with moisture; it had
been thundering, the clouds were dark and threatening, the air charged
with electricity. Such a day makes all creation randy, and you may
see every monkey at the Zoological Gardens frigging or fucking. I was
resolute with lustful heat, the girl was I expected under the same
influence, and taking her as I did after a lazy meal, everything was
propitious to me. "How shall I get in?&mdash;if I knock she may not open; and
if she sees me go up the front-garden she won't open." But I had to try,
so walked up to the door, and gave one single loud tradesman's knock.
</p>
<p>
There was a little porch and a shelter over the street-door. Standing
flat up against the door, so that I might be hidden from her sight if
peeping, I heard an upper window open. She looked out, but where I was
she could not see me. There was delay, so again I knocked, and soon the
door began to open, I pushed it and stepped in. The front-shutters on
the ground-floor to my wonder were closed.
</p>
<p>
"Hoh! sir&mdash;you," said Jenny amazed, "what do you want?" I pushed the
door to, and caught hold of her. "I've come to have a chat and a kiss."
She struggled, but I got her tight, and kissed as a randy man then
kisses a woman, it is a magnetizing thing. "Oh! there it is again,"
she cried as a loud thunder-clap was heard; "oh! let me go,&mdash;oh! it do
frighten me so."
</p>
<p>
"Where are you going?" "Oh I into the parlour,&mdash;I've closed the
shutters." The girl was in a panic, and did not know what she said. The
parlour-door was open, the room nearly dark, which suited me. She went
just in, and then turned round to go out, but I pulled her to the sofa.
A flash of lightning showed even in the darkened room, the girl cowered
and hid her face with her hands. I took her round the waist. "Shut your
eyes, and lean your head against me." Mechanically she did, she was
utterly unnerved. I felt down with my right hand the form of her thighs
and haunches through her clothes. My prick began to stand, pulling
it out, and taking her near hand I put it round my prick just as the
thunder roared. She kept her hand unconsciously on it for a time, then
with a start took it away and jumped up. "Oh! it's wicked," said she,
"when God Almighty is so angry,"&mdash;and just as she got to the door a
terrific flash made her turn round again. I caught her, and sitting
down on a chair pulled her on to my knee; she hid at once her face on my
shoulder in terror.
</p>
<p>
Coaxing and soothing, and exciting her, in her fear she listened at
times twitching and oh-ing. I was sorry I had touched her cunt the other
day I said. "Oh! now don't." "Feel my prick again,&mdash;do dear." "Let me
go,&mdash;you've no business here." Another flash came, I put my hand up her
clothes, the tip of my fingers just touched her quim. She struggled and
got away, and in doing so upset the chair which fell down and broke.
"Oh! now what will my Missus say!" said she. Then a screech, and she got
to the other side of the table.
</p>
<p>
This went on a little longer, a gleam of sunshine came through the
shutters. Then she opened one shutter, and said if I did not go she
would open the window and call out. The light showed my pego, stiff,
red-tipped and ready. "Look what your feeling has done for this Jenny,"
said I shaking my tooleywag at her.
</p>
<p>
But her resoluteness daunted me, so I promised not to do so again. "Here
is some sherry that I was taking home to taste,&mdash;let's have a glass,&mdash;it
will do both of us good after this thunder,&mdash;you look white, and as if
you wanted a glass." I had got out of her on a previous day that
she liked sherry. "I'll go and get you a glass," said she. "No you
shan't,&mdash;you will lock the door," said I,&mdash;I know that was in her mind.
No she would not. "We will go together then."
</p>
<p>
We did, and returning to the parlour under my most solemn promise
of good behaviour, down she sat, and we began drinking sherry. One
glass,&mdash;two, then another she swallowed. "No I dare not, it will get
into my head,&mdash;no more." "Nonsense,&mdash;after your fright it will do you
good." "Well half a glass." "Isn't it nice Jenny?" "It is." "Does not
your sweetheart give it you?" "At Christmas, but only one glass." The
sherry began to work. "Only another half-glass,"&mdash;and I poured it out
nearly full. Soon after I got up after filling my own, and standing
before her again filled up hers which she had sipped without her seeing
me. "Finish your glass dear." "No I can't,&mdash;it's making me so hot."
"Just another half-glass." "I won't." But she began to chatter and told
me again all about her young man, of their intending to open a grocer's
shop when they had two hundred pounds; that he had saved a certain sum,
and when he had a little more his father was to put fifty pounds to it.
She also had put money in the savings bank. I got closer to her, and
asked for a kiss. "Well I'll kiss you if you promise not to be rude
again." A kiss and a promise. She was one of the simplest and most open
girls I have ever met with, and once a half-feeling of remorse came over
me about my intentions, whilst she was talking on quite innocently about
her future; but my randy prick soon stopped that.
</p>
<p>
"What nonsense dear, your young man won't know that I have felt your
thighs, and you my thing, nor any one else what we do,&mdash;I have
thought of nothing else since I touched you,&mdash;kiss;&mdash;now let me do it
again,&mdash;just feel it,&mdash;only where my hand's been before,&mdash;I swear I
won't put my hand up higher, just above your garters,&mdash;have you got
those garters on?" "No." "Oh! you have." "Well I have." "Let me just
see." "I shan't." "I'll give you a sovereign to let me." "Shan't."
I pulled out the sovereign, put it on the table and spite of her
resistance pulled up her clothes just high enough to see one garter;
then clutching her round the waist I pushed my hands up, and touched a
well-developed clitoris. She struggled, but I kept my hand there, kissed
her rapturously, and frigged her; her cap fell off in her struggle. "Oh
I&mdash;can't&mdash;bear&mdash;it&mdash;now&mdash;sir;&mdash;I don't&mdash;oh!&mdash;like it,&mdash;oh!" Then with a
violent effort she got my hand away, but I held her fast to me.
</p>
<p>
"What a lovely smell your cunt has," said I putting the fingers just
withdrawn from her thighs up to my nose. I had always noticed that
nothing helps to make a woman more randy than that action; it seems
to overwhelm them with modest confusion; I have always done that
instinctively to a woman whom I was trying.
</p>
<p>
"Oh! what a man,&mdash;oh! let me pick up my cap." Just then I noticed her
hair was short, and remarked it. She was annoyed, her vanity hurt,
turned her thoughts entirely. "Yes," she said, "I had a fever two years
ago,&mdash;-but it's growing again." "Well it has grown enough on your cunt
dear,&mdash;did it fall off there?" "Oh! what a man!&mdash;oh! now what a shame!"
My hand was on her thighs again, and I managed another minute's frig,
and kept her close to me.
</p>
<p>
The heat had become excessive. What with struggling, and the excitement,
sweat was on both our faces. Her thighs by her crack were as wet as if
she had pissed them, her backside began to wriggle with pleasure, which
I knew I was giving her; but again with a violent effort she freed
herself from me, and as I put my hand to my nose she violently pulled it
away. The sherry was upsetting her wisdom.
</p>
<p>
"There is the sovereign," said I as she stood looking at me, "that will
help you." "Don't want it." Seeing where her pocket-hole was I pushed
it into it. "Oh! what a lucky sovereign, to lay so close to your cunt
Jenny,"&mdash;and pushing my hand into her pocket I touched the bottom of her
belly through the linen. Again a struggle, a repulse, then she put her
hand into her pocket. "You're feeling your cunt Jenny," said I. "O&mdash;oh!"
said she taking it out quickly, "I was feeling for the money,&mdash;I won't
have it."
</p>
<p>
Then I kissed her till the sweat ran off my face on to hers. "Oh! my
goodness," said she as it grew darker, "it's going to thunder again."
"Have another glass." "No it's gone into my head already." But she took
a gulp of mine. "Let's fuck you Jenny dear." "What?" "Fuck." "Shan't."
"Oh! you know what I mean." "No I don't, but it's something bad if it's
from you." I pulled out my prick, and tried to push her on the sofa.
She got away, and then with my prick out I chased her round the table.
"Leave off," said she, "a joke's a joke, but this is going too far."
She was getting lewd, and was staring at my prick which showed above the
table as I chased her. Quick as me she managed to keep just on the side
of it opposite to me.
</p>
<p>
"I'll swear I won't touch you again if you will sit down." "I won't
trust you,&mdash;you've been swearing all the afternoon." "So help me God I
will," said I, and meant it. "Well then not when you are like that." I
pushed my prick inside my trousers, and then she sat down. What a
long time this takes to tell, what repetition! but there are not many
incidents I recollect more clearly.
</p>
<p>
Then I took out ten sovereigns, all bright, new ones, laid them on the
table, and then the broach. "Do you like that Jenny?" "Yes." "It is for
you if you will let me, and those ten sovereigns also." "You are a bad
man," said the girl, "and would make me forget myself and be ruined,
and without caring a bit,"&mdash;and she began rocking her head about, and
rolling her body as she sat beside me, and looking at the money. "Who
will know?&mdash;you won't tell your young man,&mdash;I shan't tell my wife,&mdash;let
me." "I shan't,&mdash;never,&mdash;never,&mdash;never,&mdash;never, if it was fifty pounds,"
said she almost furiously. "He won't find it out." "Yes he would."
"Nonsense,&mdash;half the servants do it, yet marry,"&mdash;and then I told her of
some I had who had married. "No,&mdash;no,&mdash;no," she kept repeating, almost
bawling it out, as I told of Mary So-and-so who married a butler, and
Sarah So-and-so who married my greengrocer, though I'd fucked them over
and over again. "No,&mdash;no," looking at the money; then suddenly she took
up the broach, and laid it down again.
</p>
<p>
Before running round the table after her, I had thrown off my coat and
waistcoat. "It's so hot, I've a good mind to take off my trousers," I
had said; but I had another motive. She seemed weaker, and was so,
for gradually she had got inflamed and lewd by heat, the electrical
condition of the atmosphere, the titillation of my finger on her seat of
pleasure, and the sight of my stiff penis. She had I expect, got to
that weak, yielding, voluptuous condition of mind and body, when a woman
knows she is wrong, yet cannot make up her mind to resist. Just then it
came into my mind to tickle her; and then followed a scene which is one
of the most amusing in my reminiscences.
</p>
<p>
She shrieked, and wriggled down on to the floor. I tried to mount her
there. She kicked, fought, so that though once my prick touched her
cunt-wig, I could not keep on the saddle. She forgot all propriety in
her fuddled excitement, and whilst screaching from my tickling, repeated
incoherently baudy words as I uttered them. "Let me fuck you." "You
shan't fuck me." "Let's put it just to your cunt." "You shan't,&mdash;you're
a blackguard,&mdash;oh! don't,&mdash;leave me alone,&mdash;wee I will feel it,
if you'll let me get up,&mdash;oh!&mdash;he! hi! hi!&mdash;for God's sake don't
tickle,&mdash;hi!&mdash;I shall go mad,&mdash;you shan't,&mdash;oh! don't,&mdash;oh I if you
don't leave off." "I shall,&mdash;I must." "Oh! pray,&mdash;you shall if you leave
off tickling then,&mdash;oh! don't pray,&mdash;oh! I shall piddle myself,&mdash;he!
he!" She was rolling on the floor, her thighs exposed, sometimes
backside, sometimes belly upwards with all its trimmings visible. "Oh!
it's your fault," and as she spoke actually piddle began to issue. I had
my hand on her thigh, and felt and saw it.
</p>
<p>
Randy as I was I burst out laughing; and she managed to get up, began
to push in her neckerchief which I had torn out of the front of her
dress, and arranged her hair.
</p>
<p>
"Oh! look at me,&mdash;if any one came, what a state I am in," said she
looking in the glass, and there she stood her breast heaving, her eyes
swollen, her mouth open, and breathing as if she had just run a mile,
but attempting nothing, saying nothing further, awaiting my attack. What
randy, pleasureable excitement she must have been in, though unconscious
of it, whilst only thinking of how to prevent my fucking her against her
will.
</p>
<p>
"You began piddling." "Didn't." "I felt the piddle on my hand." She made
no reply, but passed on, and wiped her face. When I said more she merely
tossed her head. "Don't be a fool Jenny,&mdash;let us,&mdash;you want it as bad
as me." Then I rattled out my whole baudy vocabulary, "prick," "cunt,"
"fuck," "spunk," "pleasure," "belly to belly," "my balls over your
arse," "let my stiff prick stretch your cunt,"&mdash;everything which could
excite a woman; to all of which she merely said, "Oho!&mdash;oh!" and tossed
her head, and never took her staring eyes off me, nor ceased swabbing up
her perspiring face, and at the same time looking at my throbbing, rigid
cunt-stretcher.
</p>
<p>
Finding she took to yelling, and even hitting me, I desisted a moment.
"Where is the book I sent you last night?" I had till then forgotten
it. That opened her mouth. "Have not had a book." "I saw the boy give
it you, and you open it." "He didn't." "He did." "I burnt it,&mdash;a nasty
thing,&mdash;I would not let my sister see it." An angry feeling came over
me for the moment, for I thought it probable, and should have had
difficulty in replacing it. Then came an inspiration to help me,&mdash;a man
always gets somehow on the right track to get into a woman if he has
opportunity. Nature wills it. The woman was made to be fucked, and the
sooner for them, the better for them.
</p>
<p>
"You have not burnt it,&mdash;I'll bet it's in your bedroom,&mdash;in your box."
"It isn't." "I'll swear it's there,&mdash;you have been reading it all
night,&mdash;I'll go up and see." She started as if electrified into life as
I made for the door. She got there before me, and stood before me. "You
shan't go,&mdash;you've no business up there,&mdash;I've burnt it,&mdash;it's not
there." "It's in the kitchen then." "No, I've burnt it," she went on
rapidly and confusedly. "I'll go and see," said I pulling her from
the door, she screeching out, "No you shan't go up,&mdash;that you
shan't,&mdash;you've no business there." Then I pulled up her clothes to her
belly, she got them down, but still she kept her back to the door.
I kept pulling her till her cap was off again, and felt sure she was
getting weaker and weaker.
</p>
<p>
Then she turned round suddenly, opened the door, and ran up the stairs
rapidly like a lapwing, I after her. Once she turned round, "You shan't
come up," said she, and tried to push me back; and then again on she
went, I following. I stumbled, that gave her a few steps ahead; I sprang
up three steps at a time, recovered the lost distance, and just as she
got into the bed-room, and slammed the door to, I put my foot in it,&mdash;it
hurt me much. "Damn it, how you hurt my foot,&mdash;I will come in"&mdash;and
pushing the door my strength prevailed; the door flew open, I saw her
running round the bed, and there on the very pillow of the unmade bed
lay <i>Fanny Hill</i>, open at one of the pictures. I threw myself across
the bed, and clutched the book. She then stood motionless, panting and
staring at me, she had clutched at it, and failed just as I caught it.
She would have got it, but for having to go round the bed.
</p>
<p>
I laughed. "Have you not had a treat Jenny dear!" Her face was a picture
of confusion. I was stretched half across the bed, and now went right
across. Then to escape me she ran away, and had nearly reached the door
when throwing myself over the bed again, I grasped her petticoats under
her arse, and managed to pull her back. "Damned if I don't fuck you,"
said I, "by God I'll shove my prick up your cunt if I'm hanged for
it,"&mdash;and pushing a hand up behind I clasped her naked buttocks. She
turned round, I pulled her petticoats clean up, she yelling, struggling,
panting, imploring. I dropped on my knees, kissed her belly, and buried
my nose between her thighs. The petticoats dropped over my head, her
belly kept bumping up against my nose and lips, which were covered with
her cunt-moisture.
</p>
<p>
I rose up, pushed and rolled her against the bed, my hand still up her
clothes. "Oh! don't, don't now,&mdash;you are a great gentleman they say,
and ought to think of a poor girl's ruin,&mdash;oh! if it was found out I
should be ruined." "It won't darling." I had got my fingers well over
the whole slit. "Pray don't,&mdash;well I'll kiss you,&mdash;there." "Feel it."
"Will you let me get up if I do?" "Yes." "There then," and she felt me.
</p>
<p>
"Oh! I must fuck you." "Oh! pray don't,&mdash;oh! let me go now, and I'll
let you another day,&mdash;I will indeed sir,&mdash;oh! you hurt,&mdash;don't push your
fingers like that." "Kiss me my darling." "You shan't." "There there."
Another struggle. "Oh! I can't&mdash;be&mdash;bear it." Her arse began to twist
again, her head sank on my shoulder, her thighs opened; then with a
start, "Oh! my God it's lightning (it began to thunder and lighten
badly),&mdash;oh! I'm so frightened,&mdash;oh! don't,&mdash;another day,&mdash;it's wicked
when it's lightning so,&mdash;oh! God almighty will strike us dead if you are
so wicked,&mdash;oh! let me go into the dark,&mdash;oh! don't,&mdash;I can't&mdash;be&mdash;bear
it." Her arse was shaking with my groping and frigging.
</p>
<p>
"Now don't be a fool,&mdash;damned if I don't murder you if you are not
quiet!" "Oh! oh!" I had got her somehow on to the bed, she was helpless;
with fear, liquor, and cunt-heat. I threw myself on to her. A feel
between thighs reeking with sweat, with her cunt in a lather, with the
sweat dropping in great drops from my face, with sweat running down
my belly on to my prick and my balls; I shoved. One loud "aha!" and my
prick-tip was up against her womb-door. A mighty straight thrust; and
the virginity was gone at that one effort.
</p>
<p>
Right up there with but a shove or two as far as I recollect, and
without trouble, my sperm spouted directly my tool rubbed through the
wet, warm cunt-muscles. Then I came to my senses; where was I? has she
let me, or had I forced her violently.
</p>
<p>
She laid quietly under me with closed eyes and open mouth, panting; I
was upon her, up her, pressing heavily upon her rather than holding her;
then thrusting my hands under her fat bottom I recommenced thrusting and
fucking. She lay still, in the enjoyment of a lubricated cunt, distended
by a stiff, hot prick. Soon she was sensitive to my movements, her cunt
constricted, a visible pleasure overtook her, her frame began to quiver,
and the soft murmurs of spermatic effusion came from her lips. She
spent. On I went driving as if I meant to send my prick into her womb,
fell into a half dreaminess, and became conscious of a great wetness
on my ballocks; it was her discharge more than mine, the most copious I
recollect, excepting from one woman. Then I dropped off on her side. She
lay still as death, the thunder rolled over us unheeded by her in the
delirious excitement and delight of her first fuck.
</p>
<p>
She turned on her side slightly, her thighs and backside were naked, she
hid her face, and shuddered at the thunder unheeding her nakedness, then
buried her face in a pillow, and so we both dozed for a minute or two.
Her backside was still naked, when I looked at her in all ways as she
lay, and saw traces of sperm on her thighs and chemise. A little lay on
the bed, but no trace of red, no signs of a bloody rupture of a virgin
cunt. My shirt and drawers were spermed, but had not a trace of blood.
The light fell full on her backside, I could see lightish brown hair
in the crack of the parting of her buttocks; a smear of shit on
her chemise. Her flesh was beautifully white. She had on nice white
stockings, and the flashy garters; she had a tolerable quantity of hair
on her quim on the belly side. I sat at the side of the bed, got off
boots, trousers, and drawers; then laying down gently inserted my
longest finger and delicately began rubbing her clitoris which I could
see protruding of a fine crimson color. Then she moved; she was not
asleep, but dazed by the fuck, fear of the lightning, the excitement,
the heat, and the fumes of the wine combined.
</p>
<p>
She stared at me, pulled down her clothes, and tears began to run down
her cheeks. What a lot of women I have had cry at such times. "Don't cry
my darling." She turned on to her face, and hid it. For a quarter of an
hour, I talked, but she did not answer. I told her she had spent, that
I knew she had had pleasure. Then I pushed my fingers up her cunt; still
she did not speak, but let me do just what I liked, keeping her eyes
shut. So soon as my rammer was up to the mark, up her it went fucking,
and again I felt its stem well wetted. She was a regular streaming
spunker.
</p>
<p>
After that, "I am going downstairs," said she. "I'll come." "No don't."
"You only want to piddle." "Yes," said she faintly. "Piddle here,&mdash;what
will it matter?" "I can't." "I'll go out if you won't bolt the door."
"It's no good bolting the door,&mdash;you have ruined me." I went outside,
closed the door, and heard the rattle in the pot. When I re-entered she
was sitting at the side of the bed crying quietly; she did nothing but
look at me, but without speaking. "Arrange yourself in case any one
comes to the door." "No one will come." "The milkman?" "He will put it
down inside the porch." She sat down the picture of despair. Never had
I felt more lewd, I was mad that day with lewdness. "Let's feel your
cunt," said I. "I have spent in it three times." "I don't care what you
do, you may do what you like,&mdash;it's of no consequence." I felt up her
cunt, she hung her head over my shoulders whilst I paddled my fingers in
the wet. "Don't hurt me," said she. "I have not hurt you."
</p>
<p>
"Yes you have." "Let's look." That roused her. "Oh! no,&mdash;no,&mdash;no,&mdash;you
shan't." "Wash your cunt." I fetched the sherry, but she had not washed
her cunt. "You should wash it out." "Oh?&mdash;oh!" said she, "if I should be
with child I shall never be married."
</p>
<p>
She drank more sherry, and promised to wash. Then I went downstairs,
fetched up the broach and the ten sovereigns, and gave them to her. "How
shall I say I got it?" "Does he know how much you have saved?" "Yes."
"Is it a year's wages?" "Yes,"&mdash;and she began to cry again. "What shall
I say about the broach?" "That you bought it,&mdash;let's lay down and talk."
She yielded instantly, I threw up her clothes, she pushed them down.
Then I lay feeling her quim, and got out her bubbies, she submitted,
laying with her eyes closed, till my rubbing on her clitoris made her
sigh. Then up her, I felt her wetting my prick-stem, and shot my sperm
into her at that intimation of her pleasure.
</p>
<p>
It was about seven o'clock, I had been nearly five hours at my
amusements, and was tired; but had that day an irrepressible prick. It
began to stiffen almost directly it left her cunt. I went down with her
to tea, there I pulled her on to my lap, and we began to look at <i>Fanny
Hill</i>. I could not get a word out of her, but she looked intently at the
pictures. I explained their salacity. "Hold the book dear, and turn over
as I tell you." Then I put my fingers on her cunt again. How sensitive
she was. "Let's come upstairs." "No," said she, reluctantly, but up
we went, and fucked again. Then she groaned, "Oh! pray leave off,&mdash;I'm
almost dead,&mdash;I shall have one of my fainting fits." "Lay still darling,
I shall come soon,"&mdash;but it was twenty minutes hard grinding before my
sperm rose.
</p>
<p>
Then she laid motionless and white through nervous exhaustion,
excitement, and loss of her spermatic liquid, which I kept fetching and
fetching in my long grinding. She told me afterwards that she could
not tell how often she spent. I had never been randier or stronger, nor
enjoyed the first of a woman more.
</p>
<p>
She was a most extraordinary girl. After the first fuck she was like
a well-broken horse; she obeyed me in everything, blushed, was modest,
humbled, indifferent, conquered, submissive; but I could get no
conversation out of her excepting what I have narrated. She cried every
ten minutes, and looked at me. After each fuck she laid with her eyes
closed, and mouth open, and turned on her side directly, putting her
hand over her quim, and pulling her clothes just over her buttocks.
Then after I had recovered and began to talk, a tear would roll down her
cheek.
</p>
<p>
About nine o'clock she said. "Do go, my sister will be here,&mdash;and the
bed wants making." At the door I put her against the wall and rubbed
as well as I could my flabby cock between her cunt-lips. She made no
resistance. "We'll fuck again to-morrow Jenny." "I'll never let you
again," said she, "for you shan't come in,"&mdash;and she shut the door on me
with a slam.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0019"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XIX.
</h2>
<pre>
My soiled shirt.&mdash;Jenny's account of herself.&mdash;Fucking and
funking.&mdash;Poor John!&mdash;-Of her pudenda.&mdash;Its
sensitiveness.&mdash;Erotic chat.&mdash;Startled by a caller.&mdash;Her
married sister's unsatisfied cunt.&mdash;How she prevented having
children.&mdash;Doubts her husband's fidelity.&mdash;Jenny taught the
use of a French letter.&mdash;Hickery-pickery, and catamenial
irregularities.
</pre>
<p>
When I got home I looked at my linen; never had it been in such a mess
after female embraces. I had taken no care about it, it was be-spunked
in an unusual degree, and lots of thinnish stains were on the tail which
made me think that one or both of us must have spent copiously. Then I
recollected that Jenny's cunt seemed very wet to me when I felt it after
I had spermatized her. There were no signs of blood, and taking stock of
the sensations I had experienced, "Jenny has had it before," I said
to myself. Then came a fear that her discharge was from a clap, but I
dismissed that from my mind. I had only once had the clap from a woman
not gay.
</p>
<p>
So I washed the tail of my shirt, laid it under my arse to dry, gave it
a natural stain of piss, and went to bed reflecting and wondering who
had first penetrated Jenny's privates.
</p>
<p>
A day or two afterwards I went to see her and shammed a knock. She
opened the door. "Oh!" she exclaimed as I entered, "now you shan't,&mdash;you
shan't again." "I shan't what my dear?" "I know why you came here,&mdash;but
you shan't." "I want a chat,&mdash;-don't be foolish,&mdash;come here,&mdash;I won't do
anything,&mdash;I don't want anything,&mdash;but come here."
</p>
<p>
I got her into the parlour, and on to the sofa, then talked, then got
baudy. "Do just let me feel your thighs,&mdash;what harm can it do when
I have been between them." "No". "Just a feel,&mdash;there I won't put my
finger further,&mdash;oh! Jenny you like my finger,&mdash;be quiet dear,&mdash;just let
me feel it." Half an hour after she had said, "Now you shan't," my prick
was in her. No woman can refuse the cock which has once stretched her
cunt, she is at its mercy. We spent another afternoon in talking and
fucking, and she partly in crying and bemoaning her evil deeds.
</p>
<p>
I had not only opened her cunt, but opened her heart and mouth at the
same time. She was the funniest, frankest little woman I ever knew. She
told me all her past life, her future expectations, asked my advice,
deplored her wickedness to her young man, and all in an hour. She spoke
the same incessantly afterwards. In a fortnight I knew everything about
her from her birth, and about all her family; it was as if for the
first time in her life she had had a confidant.
</p>
<p>
"What shall I do with your money?" "Put it with the rest." "But he knows
what I've got,&mdash;we always tell each other." "Keep it to get a good stock
of clothes before you are married." "But he knows all about my clothes."
"Put it in a little at a time, or don't tell him till you are married;
then say you kept him in ignorance for a pleasant surprise, or tell him
nothing at all about it,&mdash;you will have more than that." "I don't want
your money, I fear it will bring me harm."
</p>
<p>
"Well give it back to me Jenny." But Jenny did not seem to see the
advantage of that; so she kept it, and had more besides in time.
</p>
<p>
"What will become of me and poor John?&mdash;he'd die if he knew how ill
I behave to him,&mdash;now don't,&mdash;you do upset a body so a talking, and
putting your fingers there,&mdash;oh! leave me alone,&mdash;no no more." "Once
more dear,&mdash;how hot your little cunt is,&mdash;it's longing for a prick." "Oh
I take care of my cap, you will tear it,&mdash;I'll take it off." "What a
fat backside you've got Jenny,&mdash;how wet your cunt is,&mdash;shove, shove,
fuck,&mdash;where is my prick Jenny now?" But Jenny became speechless always
after three cock-shoves, and began moistening the intruder with all her
cunt-power.
</p>
<p>
After fucking she was tranquil for a time; sperm seemed to soothe her,
but then she had funks. "Oh! dear what have you made me do? oh! if I am
in the family way!&mdash;oh! if he finds it out, he won't marry me! and he is
such a good young man, and so fond of me,&mdash;o&mdash;o&mdash;-ho&mdash;ho!&mdash;I've behaved
very bad to him,&mdash;and I didn't mean,&mdash;oho!&mdash;it's all your fault, oho!
&mdash;I didn't know what I was about,&mdash;I never do when it lightens,&mdash;oho! Do
you think he will find it out when we are married?" she would ask in
her calmer moments, after she had cried herself out. This scene occurred
every day I fucked her for a time, then less frequently.
</p>
<p>
I tried to comfort her, told facts, and many inventions of my own, of
how I had had women, who afterwards married and whose husbands had never
known that they had been broached.
</p>
<p>
"Is it true really!&mdash;oh! do tell me the truth,&mdash;if he finds it out I
will drown myself, I'm sure he will,&mdash;it's all your fault,&mdash;you must be
a bad man to take advantage of a poor girl in the house alone." "But if
you're not in the family way, he can't find out until you are married,
and then it will be too late. You won't tell him, and your cunt can't
speak." "Oh! sir you do say such funny things."
</p>
<p>
This went on for weeks. "Oh! it's my time, and it's not come on." Then
with joy, "Oh! I'm all right, but you can't do anything to-day,&mdash;oh! if
my Mistress should find out, or if my sister should come home and catch
you here,&mdash;oh! if the next-door neighbours should see you come here so
often, and tell my Mistress." One or another of these fears was always
upon her, but did not prevent our fucking. At that time Sarah was away,
and Louisa Fisher still ill, so Jenny had all my essence; and later on
as much as Louisa and Sarah spared me. As to my home, I had pretty well
done with fucking there.
</p>
<p>
Jenny's cunt was well-haired, and had rather large inner lips; not so
large as I have seen in many women, but larger than I liked. Her tube
was easy. What a fight I had when first I saw it. "I won't be pulled
about like that,&mdash;no it's shameful." "I dare say your John has seen it."
That always sent her off howling, and when she had subsided she let me
do as I liked. "It's a nasty thing to pull me about like that." But
it came soon to the old world-wide habit: a feel and a look before the
entry. The same woman who won't let you see the bottom of her belly at
first, will hold her cunt open for your inspection in a month. It
is breaking in a woman to baudiness which is the happiness of the
honeymoon, not the hard burst through a bit of gristle.
</p>
<p>
It had weighted on my mind ever since I had had her, and about three
weeks afterwards I told her my doubts of her then being a virgin.
She swore that no man had even put his hands on it till I did. "Am
I different from other women?" She was indignant at the doubt, and
honestly and truly I believe. A schoolfellow used to look at her quim,
she at her schoolfellow's, she always thought hers was the most open of
the two, she always could put her finger up easily, "but you did hurt me
through, though I did not bleed. My sister says she did bleed a little
when she first had her husband,"&mdash;and Jenny now described her sister's
first night, and her sister's form, and rather wetted my lust for her
sister.
</p>
<p>
I came to the conclusion that she was born loose at her inlet, or had
broken through the cover when quite young, and that no prick had
rubbed her but mine; but her organ was a peculiar one in its habit of
distilling its liquids.
</p>
<p>
I have told how my shirt was stained at first, and soon found that Jenny
was one of those women who spend rapidly, frequently, and copiously. I
have met I think two like her in my career, to the time I correct this.
</p>
<p>
On the second day's poking I noticed this and became fully aware of it
afterwards. When I put my prick up her, and began my movements; a
shiver and a sigh escaped her almost directly, her bum gave a heave,
a discharge came from her, and if I pulled my prick out then, it was
perfectly wet. It used in fact to run out a little, and if pushing one
hand well under her arse (which was not so easy, for she had a fine
backside), I felt the root of my prick, or rather the end of the stem,
I could feel her moisture running down one of her bum-cheeks, or
between them. That over by the time I spent we usually discharged
simultaneously. Her voluptuousness was greater when we spent together,
than on her preliminary discharge. She said she could not account for
it, but that a delicious sensation crept over her the moment the prick
entered; that her cunt tightened and seemed to wet itself copiously;
that her spend at the climax was longer, more thrilling, voluptuous,
satisfying, and exhausting; that when our spunks had mingled her whole
body was satisfied; but that her first spend seemed only to confine its
pleasure to her cunt. It is difficult to describe these sensations.
</p>
<p>
I frigged her several times, and got a copious discharge from her, thin,
milky, and barely sticky, yet it left a strong stain on linen. She was
astonished when I told her of her peculiarity. Perhaps she wondered what
her poor John would think of it. I can't say I altogether admired her
wetness; I took a dislike to a tall thin girl who was much of the same
sort as Jenny, but that girl was quite slippy-cunted, though not with
the whites. This was since.
</p>
<p>
(Another woman who had this sensitive and sensuous [for it was both]
organization, was the sister of an intimate friend, and whom I have
fucked since the above was written. I don't know that I shall say
anything more about the lady, so tell of her cuntal peculiarity here.
She was plump, fair-faced, had a fine complexion, and in face strongly
resembled the queen. She was to be married.)
</p>
<p>
When her young man came to town, and Jenny went out with him, the girl
upbraided herself. When I next saw her after his visit she felt herself
a deceiving wretch, and cried. Now would I please desist, and not make
her sin any more. But the persuasion was too great, the recollection of
her pleasure too strong, and never did I go away without having plugged
her.
</p>
<p>
Did she love her young man? Yes she supposed she did; he was kind,
attentive, and would make a good husband. She wanted to get married, to
have a home of her own; besides he was not a workman, but a tradesman,
and when married they would have a shop, and be in a higher position.
She always spoke more of the house and shop, and her liberty, than of
her young man.
</p>
<p>
She was of a highly nervous organization, and through me she was to be
shocked severely. She half fainted the first day I took liberties with
her, thunder and lightning gave her an inclination that way, twice
afterwards she nearly fainted, any sudden thing annoyed her and turned
her white. One occasion I'll tell of now, the other in due course.
</p>
<p>
We fucked on the sofa after the first day; but though large, it was not
like a bed, so afterwards we used to go to her bed-room. I used to leave
my hat and stick downstairs, so that in case of surprise I might stand
in the hall, and say I had called to enquire. It was a stupid thing to
do as I found out, and then I used to take it into the bed-room. I had
fucked her one afternoon, when a double knock came at the street-door, I
knew it. "It's my wife," I said. Down I rushed for my hat, and returned
to the bed-room; and then Jenny opened the door. She had called to make
some enquiry, and went away. I heard the door close, but no further
noise or movement, then crept downstairs.
</p>
<p>
There sat Jenny on a chair, just recovering from a half faint. "Oh!"
said she, "I nearly dropped down." "Ah! she would have knocked you down
my dear, if your cunt could have spoken and said what was inside it."
But Jenny never could joke. It was always dreadful, and she was to be
punished in some way for her evil deeds with me. A few tears, and then a
little baudy chaffing brought smiles again on her face.
</p>
<p>
I delighted in talking baudy to her, told her smutty stories about the
women I had had, described their charms, and any special lasciviousness
connected with them. Her astonishment was great; her curiosity intense;
she in return told me all she knew about every other woman, and all her
own little baudy doings. Never was a woman so frank about such matters.
When I left her I doubt whether her dear John could have told her half
what she could have told him about fucking, and the two articles that
copulation is done with.
</p>
<p>
Her talk was all about her sisters, and principally of the married one
who came to sleep with her; a woman about twenty-eight years of age,
who had been married some years, and had two children, the last one four
years old. She, or rather he, did not mean to have any more, they could
not afford to keep them. "How did they stop it?" I asked Jenny. She did
not know. But one night the sister wanted particularly to sleep at home,
and had asked Jenny if for once she would sleep in the house alone. She
consented though frightened. I proposed sleeping with her, and we passed
a very delicious night together: a man and woman fresh to each
other, always do in bed. What a night of feeling, frigging, sniffing,
inspecting, and fucking it was!
</p>
<p>
At all times, no matter what we began talking about, cunt and cock were
sure to become the subject. That night I learned that her sister had
slept away, expecting to catch her husband out in some infidelities.
Since he had determined to have no more children, he made her frig him
instead of fucking; so the sister went short of cock and had to frig
herself. That annoyed her. Then when he fucked her he did not do it
properly, he cheated her sister, Jenny said. I was a long time in
getting out of Jenny what the man did, at length she said, that just
as the stuff was coming, he pulled it out, and it went all over her
sister's thighs or her belly, and often before she had had her own
pleasure. Her sister thought it was just as well not to be married, as
to go on like that.
</p>
<p>
That was not all. He used at first to do it every night, and now not
once a week, said he could do without it, that he did not care about
it, and so on. She believed that he had other women, and that was more
aggravating because she wanted it herself more than ever. She was not
so well, she told Jenny for want of fucking, she liked it, and would
willingly have more children though she was so poor. I asked cautiously
if she had heard of the skins which people put over their pricks, and
into which they spent their seed? Jenny had not. I explained what they
where. She said she would ask her sister about it. I cautioned her about
showing that she knew too much. A few days afterwards Jenny told me her
sister had tried them, but they did not like them, besides they could
not afford them. What Jenny's sister paid for French letters I don't
know, I used to pay nine pence each. I fucked Jenny with one on just to
instruct her.
</p>
<p>
These two women talked often about such matters; and each day Jenny told
me what her sister had said. Soon I knew all about her sister's doings,
from the night she lost her virginity to the birth of her last child.
The little fucking that the sister had, and her longing for more
affected me considerably; I quite longed to see this hot-bummed,
cunt-neglected wife, and soon my curiosity was to be gratified in a way
I little expected.
</p>
<p>
Jenny and I settled down quite matrimonially, I saw her certainly four
days a week, or else every day excepting Sundays. At times I spent the
whole day there, took wine, and meat, and newspapers. She cooked, and
very badly. We ate and drank together, and fucked, she cried about John
and her wickedness, and her fears of being found out. Then I read to her
the news, and also every baudy book I could get hold of, and explained
to her every use that could be made of our tools, both male and female,
from flat-cocking to buggery, so far as I knew,&mdash;but I did not know so
much as I do now.
</p>
<p>
To prevent its being known I was there, we got quite cunning. I was not
to come at eleven o'clock, because then the butcher came; nor at twelve,
because the girls were always at the window next door; between one and
two o'clock I was safe, because the family was always at dinner at that
time; at three the milkman came, and I avoided him. So with a little
trouble I pretty well escaped observation, during the eight or ten weeks
which I did husband duty, and perhaps as much as some two husbands would
have done.
</p>
<p>
Once she was awfully uneasy, for her courses had not come on, and shed
flood of tears. She would lose her John, poor fellow! When in that
way she was always pitying him, but she was always irregular in her
menstruation, which rendered it difficult to judge of her condition. Oh!
she was sure she was now in the family way, she had symptoms; she had
asked her sister how she had felt when she had conceived, and her own
symptoms were the same. "My God what shall I do!&mdash;I'll drown myself,
I will,&mdash;I shall never be able to face him,&mdash;poor fellow!" "Go and
get something, go and see some one." She went, took a dose of what she
called "hikery-pikery," and the ugly red stream came on. I don't believe
she was in the family way. Years after I heard she had never had a
child, though long married.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0020"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XX.
</h2>
<pre>
A Saturday afternoon.&mdash;Copulation interrupted.&mdash;Retreat cut
off.&mdash;Under the bed.&mdash;Enter sister.&mdash;The new dress.&mdash;Heat
and sweat.&mdash;Undressing.&mdash;Jenny's anxiety.&mdash;Sweating much,
and stripping.&mdash;Nature in its simplicity.&mdash;Nature in its
vulgarity.&mdash;Delicious peeps.&mdash;A cunt near my nose.&mdash;Erotic
recklessness.&mdash;Fist-fucking.
</pre>
<p>
And now I was to become acquainted with her sister,&mdash;the married one.
Jenny had no brother, had none of that knowledge about boy's cocks which
girls of the humbler classes have when they have brothers. I sometimes
think that boys in the humbler classes show their cocks to their
sisters; I don't recollect a girl I have fucked who did not say she had
seen her brother's cock.
</p>
<p>
My knowledge of her sister's dissatisfaction with the small amount of
fucking she got, her disappointment at having her husband's sperm on
her thighs instead of up her cunt, and her very reasonable fears that at
times it went into other receptacles besides her own, came forcibly to
my mind. It would have been odd if it had not, for every time I poked
Jenny we talked about her sister, indeed all our talk, unless about her
sweetheart, and her fears was about fucking. I don't recollect any woman
I have had who was so anxious to know all, and delighted to hear of my
amours, and the descriptions I gave of my various women. If I described
their cunts she was amused beyond measure; and to tell all this suited
me exactly. For all that she thought it wicked, and that they and I, and
she, would be punished by the Almighty (her ideas about the action of
Providence were peculiar).
</p>
<p>
It was the good fortune of her married sister to give me one of the most
laughable, but yet natural, salacious, voluptuous treats I ever had,
without her knowing she had done so,&mdash;and from that came consequences
which affected that lady herself.
</p>
<p>
I have always been highly delighted to see modest women naked or
undress, or doing their toilet and little affairs, when they had no idea
that any one saw them. I have looked through dozens of key-holes, bored
holes in doors, waited breathless and half-naked for hours at night,
have risen by day-light to enable me to get these treats. I had seen as
already said, the cunts of my aunt and cousins, young ladies and others
bathing, etc. (and as I shall tell of, have since seen a noble lady frig
herself.) I have seen in fact modest ladies at their most decent, as
well as the most indelicate of their toilet performances, and think
I prefer looking at them under such circumstances, rather than at the
beautiful voluptuous creatures who undress willingly in my presence, for
those are so intent on displaying their charms to the best advantage, to
get a male erection and its crisis, as soon as possible, make much too
evident what they do it for.
</p>
<p>
Jenny's sister gave me one of those natural displays. Had the lady been
drilled in the art of unfolding her charms for the excitement of a male,
and driving him into erotic fury, she could not have more effectually
done so. Of the many displays of female charms (of modest females)
I have seen, I never had one so gradual, natural, voluptuous, and
cock-stiffening, as she unconsciously gave me.
</p>
<p>
I called on Jenny one Saturday afternoon, she had said I had better go
quite early, but I did not. It was another sultry day, thunder had been
heard, the atmosphere was heavy, but no rain had fallen; and the sun was
bright and blazing hot. Said Jenny, "I'm frightened to let you stop, my
sister is going to leave off work early, and she will be here about five
o'clock,&mdash;don't come in." I would. "We shan't be half-an-hour,&mdash;it's
not half-past three." A kiss, and a twiddle on her cunt settled the
matter, and we went to her bed-room. She was on the bed, I between her
thighs, ready to drop into her, indeed I'm not sure that my prick had
not touched her cunt, when a knock and a ring came at the street-door.
</p>
<p>
To fully understand what follows it should be known that the old lady
my friend, for fear that the rooms should be used; had locked up all the
rooms but the parlours and a little closet overlooking the street, and
the servants' bed-room, and had taken away the keys. I did not know that
then, I knew it that day.
</p>
<p>
"Oh! my God it's my sister,&mdash;what shall I do?&mdash;I shall be ruined." Pale
as death, I thought she was going to faint again.
</p>
<p>
"Don't be nervous, I'll go and hide in the room below, and when she is
downstairs or up here, go out quietly, and leave the street-door ajar."
"Oh! all the rooms are locked up." "I'll go into the parlours then,
&mdash;you get her downstairs." "Oh! she always goes into the parlour first,
and sits down a minute, and talks." There was no time for us to talk,
more, for the woman knocked again. "Fetch my hat and stick (it was in
the parlour),&mdash;you get her into the kitchen, then I'll slip out leaving
the street-door ajar." Down we both went, three stairs at a time, up
I went again with hat and umbrella, and had only got to the top when
I heard poor trembling Jenny opening the street-door. I leant over the
banisters, and listened.
</p>
<p>
"I've knocked twice Jenny." "Did you?&mdash;I was dozing,&mdash;the thundery
weather makes me so queer.&mdash;Have a cup of tea, and take a table out
into the garden,&mdash;it will be fresher there to have tea."
</p>
<p>
"No I've got my new dress, it will rumple it if it's long in the bundle,
I must open it. Such a pretty one,&mdash;you will like it I think.&mdash;Tom did
when I showed him the pattern,&mdash;I'll take it up to the bed-room, and
hang it up."
</p>
<p>
Jenny's voice rose almost to a shriek. "Oh! no, no, don't,&mdash;come and
have tea first,&mdash;I'm so thirsty, so tired,&mdash;come downstairs." "Well you
go and make it, I'll only just hang it up in the bed-room, and come down
directly," said her sister.
</p>
<p>
Jenny objecting, the sister answered angrily, "What are you in such a
hurry for tea for?&mdash;it's not time,&mdash;well have it by yourself, I can't
drink it,&mdash;I had a lot of beer at dinner, and Tom gave me nearly a pint
before I left him,&mdash;it was so hot, I was so thirsty,&mdash;it's on my chest
now,&mdash;I can't put tea on the top of it yet." "Well if you won't, I may
as well go up with you," said Jenny. Footsteps came nearer, and hat,
stick, and self, I threw under the bed. Jenny came in looking like
death. "She won't find me here,&mdash;get her down soon," was all I had time
to say in a whisper before the sister following Jenny entered the room.
I had quite hidden myself.
</p>
<p>
The bed had been a good one, the old gentleman and lady had slept on it
for years; it was large and handsome, but being shabby and worn out, had
that very month only been put to servants' use. Round it were old red
valances hanging to the floor, things not given to servants. No sooner
was I under the bed, than I saw there were little openings at the seams,
and some moth-holes, which permitted me to see through them. At one spot
near to my shoulder as I lay crouching and doubled up, was a long slit
where the valance had been torn down. By raising myself on my elbow,
and squeezing my head against the mattress I could see perfectly, but
no person in the room would have noticed me, even though the room was as
bright as day, for the thick red hangings hid me in darkness under the
bed, and I was on the side away from the window. I gazed earnestly at
Jenny's sister through this opening and others.
</p>
<p>
She was a well-grown, strong woman, with a handsome round face, and dark
hair and eyes; she had shortish petticoats, and thickish ankles in good
lace-up boots which, made much noise as she walked about. She had a
huge paper parcel in her hands, which she placed on the bed; then for a
moment she rested her bum on the bed-side, and Jenny did the same by the
side of her. The parcel was between them, her ankles were within a few
inches of my nose; I gently lifted the valance, and saw up the calf of
her legs, her petticoats cut as they were in those days, being drawn up
by sitting down. I remember almost every word, every action which took
place on that memorable afternoon, and not a movement escaped me.
</p>
<p>
"I can't untie it,&mdash;cut it." "The scissors are downstairs." "I'll go and
fetch them." "Oh! no,&mdash;where is the knife that I cut my corns with?" "Oh
I never mind,&mdash;there, I've done it,&mdash;I've broken it,"&mdash;and she rose up
as did Jenny from the bed, and both now stood standing facing the side
of the bed where I lay.
</p>
<p>
I heard the rustling of paper, the rustling of a dress, the noise of
feet paddling about. "Oh! it <i>is</i> nice,&mdash;what did it cost?&mdash;who made
it?" "I made the skirt, and Miss Skinner the body,&mdash;she charged me seven
and six,&mdash;it's not dear, is it?&mdash;I'll hang it up, then the creases will
come out." "Let's hang it up first." And then on a peg at the back
of the door the dress was hung up, and for a moment, both women stood
admiring it, their backs towards me and the bed.
</p>
<p>
"Look," said the sister, "it just wants a little something done to the
sleeves,&mdash;she said it was not finished there,&mdash;oh! yes here it is,&mdash;I
would not wait for her, I can easily do it myself,&mdash;I was glad to get
it, and half feared I should not get it for Sunday,&mdash;the old beast never
keeps her promise, but she has this time,&mdash;I gave her sixpence
extra. Oh! my gracious how hot it is,&mdash;I'm sweating all over,&mdash;it's
awful,&mdash;I'll pull off my frock, then I'll finish the sleeves as it hangs
up,&mdash;get us the needle and thread Jenny,&mdash;just thread a needle dear,
while I pull off my frock."
</p>
<p>
"Don't," said Jenny in an agitated manner, "let's have tea first." "No
I must finish it," and as she spoke she undid her dress, and slipped it
off. A beautiful handsome pair of breasts came in view. "Oh! Lord look
at my chemise,&mdash;look how I've sweated&mdash;see how the stain from the dress
has gone through under my arms,&mdash;I stink of sweat,&mdash;how glad I shall be
when the weather is cooler." As she said that with a slight effort she
drew her arms through the sleeves of her chemise, and lifting her
freed arms showed a pair of black hairy armpits. I began to thrill and
cock-stiffen. She lifted her fine arms up, and looked at the stained
chemise as it hung over her stays, then with a heave and a push she
freed her breasts, so that they were right over the top of her stays
showing the nipples; then with naked arms, she began to work at the
sleeves of the dress hanging up behind the door.
</p>
<p>
Jenny was all this time moving about in a restless manner, taking every
now and then a hurried glance at the valance of the bed which concealed
me; and as it seemed to me placing herself in such a position, as
to prevent my seeing her sister's upper nakedness; but it was quite
useless, I could see all she had exposed.
</p>
<p>
She worked a few minutes talking to Jenny, who was making as much noise
with her feet as she could. Then the sister looked up, and leaving off
her needlework said, "This will make Tom want to do it to me,&mdash;a new
dress always does, when he sees me in it,&mdash;he ain't done it lately, he
will to-morrow." They both laughed, and she went to work again.
</p>
<p>
Again she stopped, Jenny then seated herself at the edge of the bed over
me. "Oh! how awfully hot I am,&mdash;what a bore petticoats are,&mdash;I declare
I've a good mind to leave them off this weather." She stepped forwards.
"I'll take them off, I can slammack about to-night,&mdash;no one will see
me." "Oh! no don't," said Jenny in an excited way; but she quickly
unlaced her stays, untied her petticoats, and slipped them down to her
ankles. Her chemise which was no longer held up to her shoulders by the
arms, slipped down with them, and she stood naked before me excepting
her boots and stockings. She seemed to have forgotten that her chemise
was no longer held up, for just as the petticoats fell below her cunt,
she made a slight grasp as if to hold them up, then she gave a laugh,
"That's cool enough," said she.
</p>
<p>
"Don't,&mdash;what are you doing?" shrieked Jenny, "put on your
chemise,&mdash;you're naked,&mdash;you're naked,"&mdash;and she tried to pull up the
chemise; but the woman stepped away from the clothes as they lay on the
floor, caught up the chemise, threw it on the bed, and placed petticoats
and stays on a chair by the washhand stand. I saw large hips, a mass of
dark hair at her cunt, a large white backside, fine round thighs, and
limbs; in brief a fine, plump, well-fed woman, a splendid sight. The
innocence of the action was beautiful. "Oh! isn't it nice and cool," she
said, "I've got so hot walking."
</p>
<p>
"Put on your things,&mdash;what are you doing?" said Jenny. "Oh! isn't it
nice!&mdash;I wish one could go in one's skin this weather," she replied. She
scratched her motte-hair, and felt her arse, and seemed so pleased with
herself. Then she looked under each of her armpits. "Oh! Lord how hot I
am,&mdash;where is a towel?" She took one, and began gently rubbing herself
with it under her armpits, put it down, and again scratched the hair of
her motte.
</p>
<p>
"I'm surprised at you," said Jenny walking about, and I'm sure trying
to prevent me from seeing her sister, though she always declared to me
afterwards that she had no such intention. "Cover yourself, you'll catch
cold." "Catch cold?&mdash;nonsense,&mdash;and you have the window shut also,&mdash;what
do you shut it for?" "Oh! I can't bear it open in thundering weather."
The fact was we always shut it when we went to the bed to exclude noise,
and left the door open, to hear if any one knocked at the street-door.
"Put something on you at all events," said Jenny, "it's not decent."
"Decent?&mdash;you <i>are</i> modest all of a sudden."
</p>
<p>
"It's delicious!" She walked round the bed to the window, opened it,
came back naked as she was, and went on working at her dress; and so for
a quarter of an hour did I see this handsomely-made woman naked, first
her side, then her belly, then her bum came in view, till I was driven
mad by the state of my penis which was throbbing with excitement, and
urging me to frig it.
</p>
<p>
"Well that will do," she said as she finished, "the creases will never
be noticed where they are,"&mdash;and she walked backwards to the bed, the
short distance she was from it, and sat down at the edge just where the
valance had dropped. With care I pulled the valance, and the seam opened
more, but not much. I raised myself on my elbow, my eyes to the opening.
There were the thighs and legs stretching out to the floor, her bum
was at the mere edge of the bed, her cunt but about six inches above my
nose. I had a wonderfully keen scent for the aroma of a woman, and swear
I smelt her cunt distinctly, though I could not see it. She sat there
for full five minutes, talking to Jenny about the dress, whilst I kept
sniffing up the aroma from her flesh and her love-orifice, and feeling
my quivering prick, whilst my greedy eyes gloated on the fat thighs, so
far as I could see them.
</p>
<p>
At length she turned round. "I'll put my slippers on,"&mdash;and sitting down
opposite the bed on the chair on which she had placed her petticoats,
she put one leg up, and began unlacing the boot, then between and under
the thighs I saw the dark hairy notch. She had scarcely put herself in
that attitude before putting her foot down, she came to the bed, put one
foot up, and there continued unlacing it,&mdash;and there was her cunt just
visible, and within a foot of my greedy eyes, whilst she leisurely
unlaced the boot on the bed, the other foot on the floor. Had I placed
her there for the purpose I could not have done it better.
</p>
<p>
"Oh! don't," said Jenny, "take your foot off." "What's the matter?"
replied she as if just noticing Jenny's excitement, "you've got one of
your foolish fits on I think." "You will dirty the bed,&mdash;take your foot
off." "Nonsense it's quite dry, besides it's on my chemise,&mdash;I wish
you'd go and make tea, if you are in such a hurry,&mdash;one would think you
had got St. Vitus' dance,"&mdash;for Jenny in her agitation, and also to make
noise to prevent any indiscreet movement of mine being noticed, had kept
moving about noisily and restlessly the whole time.
</p>
<p>
Silenced, she said no more, but still walked restlessly about, went at
the back of her sister, and glared at the valance where she guessed my
eyes were peeping. Her face was the picture of anxiety. But I did not
look at that long, I was rivetted on her sister's form and dark-haired
cunt; that cunt was at times slightly opened by the attitude she was in,
and altered its shape as she moved. I saw the thick dark hair curling
away until I lost sight of it in the direction of her arse-hole, and I
could smell her cunt again I swear, my excitement grew intense, I could
not keep my hand from my prick, I knew the delicate position I was in,
the injury I should do the poor girl if found out;&mdash;but a spend in sight
of that cunt and splendid pair of thighs I must have. I just touched
myself, holding my breath restraining all emotion, gave one or two
frigs, and a shower of sperm fell over my trousers. If any man might
be pardoned for having a solitary pleasure, it was I, placed in such a
lust-stirring situation.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0021"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XXI.
</h2>
<pre>
Further undressing.&mdash;Slippers wanted.&mdash;Toilet operations.&mdash;
The effects of hash and beer.&mdash;A windy escape.&mdash;Feeling for
the pot.&mdash;Sisters exeunt.&mdash;A crushed hat, and soiled
trousers.&mdash;A narrow escape.&mdash;My benevolent intentions
towards Jenny's sister.
</pre>
<p>
I thought I had had my pleasure in silence, but I was wrong, I was
heard, I had given a slight sigh. The anxious ears of poor Jenny heard
it. She made increased noise whilst her sister went tranquilly on, and
unlaced her boots without taking any notice or hearing me, whilst the
last drop of sperm was running over, and I was still looking at her
cunt, and sniffing.
</p>
<p>
Then she stood looking at her boots. "Ah! this one wants soling,&mdash;where
are my slippers?&mdash;where did I put them?" They were just under the
bed, close by me. "Here they are," said Jenny rushing to the side, and
pulling them out she gave them to her sister who took them, but instead
of putting them on pulled off both her stockings. "I'll wash these
to-night," said she, "and darn them the first thing to-morrow,&mdash;I'll cut
my corns." "Oh! do come down and have tea,&mdash;you can cut your corns after
you have washed your feet to-night,&mdash;oh! put something on, and come." "I
won't be long,&mdash;you go and make tea." "No I shan't, I know you'll be
an hour,&mdash;it will be spoiled." "I can cut them so much better by
daylight,&mdash;I cut my toe last Saturday night you know," and without more
ado she walked round the foot of the bed to the other side, where in
front of the window was a small dressing-table, a looking-glass, and a
chair by the side of it. She was now absolutely naked from head to foot.
As she neared the window she said, "Oh! how delicious the air is blowing
upon one's skin,&mdash;I quite hate putting on my chemise again." Jenny still
kept moving about, and shuffling her feet; but the sister engrossed in
herself, kept on talking about her dress, her Tom, the place she was
going to on the morrow, and seemed to notice nothing. At length she
placed one foot on the chair by the window, and began cutting her corns.
And now I had a view of her backside and naked form from that side of
the bed.
</p>
<p>
When she had finished one foot, she put it down, and sat on the edge of
the bed. "Poof! how hot it makes me stooping,&mdash;it makes me sweat,&mdash;but
I'll do the other,&mdash;drat the tight boots, they make corns,"&mdash;and up went
the other foot. Out went my head, and up went the valance, but I was
fearful of being seen, so took out my pen-knife, and cut a long slit in
the valance. Then my eye was never still to her buttocks, but I could
not see her seat of pleasure so well, so I took to the floor again, and
saw her cunt better.
</p>
<p>
Then she stood for a minute looking over a little white blind into the
gardens. "There is Mrs. B&mdash;&mdash;- and her daughter walking." "Oh! pray put
something on,&mdash;if they should see you." "Impossible they can't,"&mdash;and
she stooped down, and began operating on the other corn. The cunt opened
a little and so did something else, for out popped a pretty loud, short,
sharp fart.
</p>
<p>
"You beast," said Jenny. "I beg your pardon," said the sister, "I'm
always windy when I have eaten hash, and drank beer,&mdash;I could not help
it." "It's dirty," growled Jenny. "You're far enough off, and it's
better out than in,"&mdash;and ceasing to chuckle, and as if half ashamed of
herself she went on corn-cutting without speaking, but that did not suit
Jenny who soon began a conversation, and shuffling about. She made no
further allusion to the fart.
</p>
<p>
When she had finished it only seemed as if I had been looking at her
there for a few seconds, but on that side of the bed she must have given
me ten minutes of that lascivious gratification. I was so engrossed,
so delighted that even the fart did not amuse me; it annoyed me; for
it made her alter her position, and withdraw from my lustful gaze, that
charm which perhaps no one but her husband had ever gazed upon so long
and so earnestly.
</p>
<p>
Then she went back again to the other side of the bed, put on stockings
and slippers, and getting up, "Where is the pot" said she, "is it this
side or the other?" and began feeling under the valance within a few
inches of me, but it was not there. Evidently it was usually there,
indeed I know it was, but Jenny and I both pissed before we began to
think of fucking, and I had put the pot under the washing-stand.
</p>
<p>
"Not there," shrieked Jenny rushing to the pot. The sister turned
round and saw it, I peeped just in time to see her thighs open as she
squatted, then came a heavy thump on the bed. The sister said, "What's
the matter?&mdash;-don't give way,&mdash;don't be a fool now." Then without
pissing she got up, and came to the bedside. Poor Jenny excited beyond
bearing by anxiety, had fainted on seeing her sister on the point of
discovering me in searching for the pot.
</p>
<p>
She shook Jenny, threw water on her face, and Jenny soon recovered.
"What on earth's the matter?&mdash;you give way, you do,&mdash;a woman need not
faint like that, I'm sure," said she angrily, "you scared me dreadful."
Jenny said nothing, but repeated that she wanted her tea, that thundery
weather always made her feel sick and faint.
</p>
<p>
"Well we will go down at once,&mdash;I did not think you were ill." "You
might have seen I was." "I did not, but I'll be ready in a minute."
Again she squatted on the pot, thighs wide open, belly towards me,
pissed like a water-spout, and let one or two little farts of which no
notice was taken, whilst I with cock stiff was looking on, and again
frigging myself. I could not help it, for every turn, every movement
she made was such as if done expressly to show off her naked charms, and
drive me randy-mad.
</p>
<p>
"Give me my night-gown Jenny, it's at the foot of the bed, and I'll only
put my dress over it,&mdash;it's so hot." Jenny turned to take the night-gown
from the bed. "I'll just wash a bit," said her sister, "I'm almost in a
lather with heat and sweat." Pouring out water in the basin she placed
it on the floor, and turning towards the bed squatted, and sluiced her
cunt, then rubbed it dry with the towel. "That has made me comfortable,"
she remarked, and began putting on her frock.
</p>
<p>
As she did so she remarked, "You have not emptied the pot to-day,&mdash;you
should, it smells this hot weather." "Yes I did," said Jenny innocently.
"Well then you've peed a lot." "I've done it once or twice since
morning," said Jenny hastily.
</p>
<p>
Then the sister went out first. When half-way downstairs I emerged from
my hiding-place and listened, heard Jenny say, "I may as well empty the
slops, you go and see if the water boils." Up came Jenny. "Oh! I'm
ready to die,&mdash;hish!&mdash;be quiet." She emptied the pot and waters into a
slop-pail, and went downstairs quickly whilst I followed her silently.
I was covered with flue, and had managed to crush my hat; my trousers
were partly unbuttoned, and one leg covered with spunk. We got to the
ground-floor almost together, and there I stopped. So soon as I heard
she was in the kitchen I moved along the passage, and slipped out,
leaving the street-door ajar. Luckily a cab was close by, and I jumped
into it. The first thing I did was to button up properly. I bolted past
my servant as she opened the door to me, took another hat, wrapped the
old one up in paper, and the same night tore out the lining, and threw
both away in a bye-road.
</p>
<p>
I was in an indescribable state of excitement after this delicious
afternoon, and was seized with an almost delirious letch for the woman.
I was sleepless for a night or two, scheming how to possess her.
</p>
<p>
Early on the Monday I got to Jenny's, and spent the rest of the day
fucking, and talking of the sight I had seen. My imagination helped to
allay my excitement, for the form of her sister though more beautiful
than Jenny's had still a family likeness to her, and as I clasped Jenny
in my arms I pictured her as her sister, and enjoyed her as such.
</p>
<p>
I was cautious in my disclosures, for I found that Jenny who had been
most inquisitive about other women, and delighted to hear about how they
talked, and walked, and pissed, and fucked; was annoyed when I talked of
her sister's nakedness. I ought not to have looked,&mdash;why I had seen more
than she, her own sister,&mdash;a poor woman, and married, and she to have
her thing looked at by a strange man,&mdash;her husband could not have seen
more,&mdash;and so on. So though I described her sister's charms I took care
not to express any admiration of them, nor to say I had frigged myself,
and felt desire for her. Jenny had not noticed that my trousers were
undone, and sperm-soiled. I had not noticed that myself till I got out
of the house on that eventful afternoon.
</p>
<p>
On the Monday when I saw Jenny, she declared that another hour's anxiety
would have killed her. We found that the time from the minute the sister
came into the bed-room, to the time she went downstairs was two hours.
Jenny thought that she must have been half-an-hour working at her dress.
Jenny had walked round the room trying if she could see me, or if I was
looking, but could only do so once or twice at the holes, or fancy she
did; but the long tear in the valance through which I could see with
both eyes at once, and just above which her sister had put up her legs,
she had never noticed; nor did she believe me when I said that I could
see the cunt when her sister's backside was towards me, when near the
window. So I made her lie down, and look from the floor whilst I stood
naked, pretending to cut my corns. Then she said it was a shame of me to
be peeping. She had a clear inspection from my bum-hole to my ballocks,
and knew I had seen the cunt.
</p>
<p>
She did not contend any longer. "Do you mean to say, that if you had
been under the bed, and had known a naked man was cutting his corns, you
would not have peeped out?" No she would not; but had it been a naked
woman perhaps she would, Jenny replied. So after she had heard from me
how much I had seen of her sister's body, between her back-bone and her
navel, and I had told her something which made her say, "Lar has she!"
though I can't recollect what it was, the subject dropped. Then I learnt
from her more about her sister's wages, mode of life, and where she
worked; for although the thing seemed ridiculous, I had a letch, and
meant to try to put into that young woman if possible, though I had not
then stroked Jenny many weeks. I liked variety.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0022"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XXII.
</h2>
<pre>
The Sunday following.&mdash;Chaste calculations.&mdash;The sister
alone.&mdash;My embarrassement.&mdash;Ale fetched.&mdash;Warm
conversation.&mdash;Stiffening.&mdash;Bolder talk.&mdash;An exhibition of
masculinity.&mdash;A golden promise.&mdash;Lust creeping.&mdash;Baudy
dalliance.&mdash;Cock and cunt in conjunction.
</pre>
<p>
On the following Sunday her young man was coming to London, and she was
to spend the day with him at his relatives. Her sister was to keep
the house, the husband was going elsewhere, so the sister would be
alone,&mdash;all provided it was fine weather. Jenny had promised her
Mistress that until her return she would never go out with her young
man, and that is how Jenny kept her word. She knew I would not tell,
would I?&mdash;I felt her cunt, and kissed her. "It's not very likely, is
it my pet?" Then she snivelled, said she was very wicked, and hoped God
would not punish her.
</p>
<p>
When I heard of this arrangement I lusted strongly. In vain I said to
myself, "What again a married woman! in comfortable circumstances for
her class, with two children,&mdash;a woman you have never spoken to,&mdash;can
you expect to get her!" I did not expect it, but had a burning desire to
see and speak to her, to look closely at, and have a chat with a woman
whose privates I had seen so nakedly. It seemed to me to promise a
titillating treat. Besides I had been so successful with women,&mdash;gay
women had even been anxious to get me,&mdash;that a half-belief came over me,
that if I had time, I could persuade even her to let me. Time was the
difficulty, for she did not yet even know me by face (so I thought, but
was wrong). At all events see her I would,&mdash;she was dissatisfied with
her fucking, that I knew; she might be randy, and then be much less
impregnable than she seemed; so I determined to see her on the Sunday
that Jenny went out.
</p>
<p>
I could think only of one powerful means of getting her, if anything
encouraged a hope, and that was by money. I had not too much then,
though getting better off, but determined if ten pounds would tempt her,
that she should have it. I was a long time I recollect pondering over
the sum. The Sunday turned out fine, I put the gold in my purse, and
went to the house just after their dinner-time, and after my luncheon,
at which I fed myself up well, and to give me courage took an extra
glass, for I had one of my nervous fits of funking come on, mixed with
doubts about the morality of deliberately trying a married woman.
</p>
<p>
She opened the door, I walked straight in. "Who are you?" "Where is the
housemaid?" said I, "I have promised Mrs. W&mdash;&mdash;-to call and see from
time to time." "Oh! I'm her sister sir, my name is&mdash;&mdash;-, I sleep here
every night sir, Mrs. W&mdash;&mdash;- pays me to do so sir,&mdash;my sister is out
sir,&mdash;I'm very sorry, but she is not at all well from being confined to
the house so much,&mdash;I told her she might go to church,&mdash;it would be a
change, and give her a little fresh air;&mdash;she will be back at half-past
four sir." "Oh! so you are Mr. So-and-So?" "Yes I am." I walked into the
parlours. There was a large beer-jug and two tumblers on the table, and
ale in one glass. She rushed to take them away. "I beg pardon sir, but
Mrs. W&mdash;&mdash;&mdash; said we might sit in the parlours, when we have done work,
and on Sundays besides, cause it's so dull in the kitchens." The woman
was agitated at her sister being out, and at being caught drinking beer
in the parlour; she thought I might make mischief, I suppose.
</p>
<p>
I told her that she need not disturb herself, for I should not stay
long, and kept looking with cock already stiffening into her face,
then at her arms, then at the bottom of her belly, and in my mind's eye
seeing the dark hair down there. I had planned conversation, but forgot
what to say, through thinking of her nakedness and sexual charms; and
stood staring at her till she turned her eyes away confused, and colored
up.
</p>
<p>
I continued to be embarrassed, and so lost recollection of all I had
intended to say and do, that I was actually going away. I asked one or
two stupid questions: if letters had come, if any one had been, and so
on; all the time thinking that I was looking through her clothes at her
naked charms. I was in a sort of a trance of baudiness which muddled me;
when noticing the ale-glass I asked, "What are you drinking?" "Fourpenny
ale sir." That reply broke the spell, my senses returned, I thought of
an excuse for stopping. "Give me a glass,&mdash;I'm thirsty." "That's the
last of it sir." "Can't you get some?" "The pot-boy brought that,&mdash;it's
Sunday, and the public is not always open." I looked at my watch. "It's
not church-time yet, send some one to fetch some,&mdash;I'm so thirsty, and
hot, and so tired,"&mdash;and I sat down. "I'm alone." "Is not your husband
here?" "No, no one." "Do you mind fetching me some?" "If you don't
mind waiting sir." "No." I gave her money. "How much?" "Oh! fill the
jug,&mdash;not with fourpenny,&mdash;with the best ale,&mdash;ask them to draw it
mild, and get me two bottles of ginger-beer". In a few minutes she was
back,&mdash;I had given her a five shilling piece. "You may keep the change."
"Thank you sir", said she quite touched and delighted. I always gave the
change to girls whom I wanted to poke.
</p>
<p>
In her absence I went all over the house that was not locked up, even to
the privy and coal-cellar, had satisfied myself that she was alone, and
was getting quite myself again when she came back.
</p>
<p>
"Have a glass." "Thank you sir." "So you are Jenny's sister,&mdash;Jane's her
name I think." Yes it was. "Aren't you afraid to be in the house of a
night?" No she was not. "Sit down." "Thank you sir,"&mdash;but she stood. "So
you are an upholstress,&mdash;sit down,"&mdash;and after a little pressure down
she sat. We took ale together, and no doubt I spoke with all that
kindness which a man shows towards a woman whom he desires to poke, I
have heard women say that I have a winning, persuasive manner.
</p>
<p>
Gradually the conversation became about herself. "You've two
children,&mdash;why not more?" "Oh! quite enough for poor people." "Well you
see I can't get any." "Poor people are sure to have lots." "Two is not a
lot,&mdash;how manage to stop at two?" "Oh! it's all chance." "Is not another
coming?" She was getting flushed and excited. "Lord no, I hope not."
"Don't you know?" "I don't." "Yes you do,&mdash;how old is your last?" "Four
years." "If I were your husband I'd have a dozen." "Well you say <i>you</i>
haven't any yet sir," said she. "No I can't get any." "Ah! if we had
your money!&mdash;but with we poor people is different,&mdash;it's hard enough to
fill the bellies of two." "And so you won't have your belly filled with
another little one,&mdash;won't you, eh!"
</p>
<p>
"Oh! Lord," said she laughing spite of herself, "you are plain-spoken."
I was in the vein now, did not say an improper word, but gave baudy
hints, smutty suggestions about the dullness of sleeping alone, of the
results of wives being away from husbands, etc., till her eyes twinkled,
and she laughed much. I had now broken down the barrier, had brought
myself to her level, and she as every other woman would have done, took
advantage of it, and began to return my chaffing and banter, every
woman feels instinctively that when a man is chaffing her (be it ever so
decently veiled), about fucking, that she may safely return it: both are
at once on a common level. A washerwoman would banter a prince, if the
subject was cunt, without the prince being offended. To talk of fucking
with a woman is to remove all social distinctions, and I had done it
without uttering at first a smutty word.
</p>
<p>
Jenny's sister went on chaffing, and drank ale freely. "Oh! I dare say,
but why don't <i>you</i> have children?" "I can't get any I tell you, but I
try." "Not much at home," said she, "from all I have heard." "No I try
out as well, and get none,&mdash;I'm a safe man." Then I found she knew a
lot about me and my affairs; She had actually worked at my house on some
curtains, had seen me once, and knew my voice, though for the moment she
had not recollected my face with my hat on when I entered the door that
afternoon. But I had never seen her at my house to my knowledge, though
if I had I was not likely to have noticed a common upholstress.
</p>
<p>
We went on chaffing, looking in each other's faces, each knowing we were
talking about fucking. "Well Mrs.&mdash;&mdash;&mdash; playing at mother and father's
a delicious amusement, is it not?" "I don't know." "If you don't
know we'd better try,&mdash;I'd give five pounds to be your husband for
an hour,&mdash;and five pounds would buy you a new dress." "It would buy me
three," said she without noticing the other part of my remark. "Three?"
"Yes three,&mdash;I can't afford more than thirty shillings for a best
dress." "Really!&mdash;such a beautiful creature as you ought to have plenty
of dress, for I have rarely seen a more lovely woman, and so well
grown,&mdash;I'll bet you have fine limbs." She was flattered, the praise
upset her, her eyes tinkled. Yes she might have done better she knew,
but it was to be. I went close to her, caught and kissed her. She made
not too strong a resistance, but got away. "That's going a little too
far." "That's the beginning of a game at mother and father, and you are
going to have the three dresses." She laughed in a funny way. "I don't
want to be a mother any more, so I don't want any games." But she seemed
to me to look as if she did.
</p>
<p>
What did she get for stopping at the house? Five shillings a week, and
her supper and breakfast,&mdash;that was an object. "Five shillings?&mdash;why
my kiss was worth that,&mdash;let me give you another, and I'll give you
ten shillings for the two." "You don't mean that," said she with a low
laugh. "On my soul yes,&mdash;but you must give me a kiss as well." She
shook her head. "It's going too far," said she. "There it is, I'll trust
you,&mdash;you won't take it without letting me." She was then sitting. I put
the half sovereign into her hand. "Thank you sir," said she softly. I
kissed her rapturously, she let me kiss half-a-dozen times, and whilst
doing I so took hold of her hand, and pressed it as if by accident
against my cock. She a married woman knew the hard line her hand pressed
against, for she moved her hand away. "Now your promise,&mdash;kiss me." "I
didn't promise." "You took the money." "There then," said she giving me
a kiss, and jumping up sharply, "we are going too far,&mdash;we really are
now,&mdash;we don't either of us know what we are about I think." "I don't
think I do," said I, "for though I never saw you before, I've never been
so struck with a woman in my life, I'd give ten pounds to be in bed with
you an hour."
</p>
<p>
I had been putting my cock straight in my trousers, feeling and
squeezing my balls whenever I saw her looking at me. I fancied she kept
looking askant at that part of my person. She was getting red in face,
hot, and confused in manner. Just then I observed a bed pillow on the
sofa, she had I guessed been laying down after dinner. "Why here is
a pillow,&mdash;you've been on the sofa with your husband,&mdash;you have been
playing at mother and father here." She burst out into laughter. "Why
I've not seen him for a week." "Then you've been tickling by yourself."
"Tickling?" (it was said quite innocently.) "Yes between your legs."
"Oh! really now you are a going too far sir," said she jumping up again,
"you speak too freely,&mdash;I don't like it." Then she laughed, and said,
"Well&mdash;this&mdash;really is,&mdash;oh!"
</p>
<p>
"Not at all,&mdash;you are lovely, exquisite, delicious,&mdash;if you've really
not seen your husband for a week, let me,&mdash;who will know?&mdash;we are in the
house alone,&mdash;let us,"&mdash;and standing close to her I put my arms round
her, but I felt afraid of going too far.
</p>
<p>
"You must not talk like that." "Oh! nonsense,&mdash;I'll give you six
pounds." "Oh! no, you don't mean what you say,&mdash;it's wild talk." I took
out my purse, and putting six pounds on the table in gold, just as I had
done to her sister the ten pounds; there said I, "That is yours,"&mdash;and
pulled out my prick. She got up, and ran to the other side of the room
as if I had pulled out a pistol. "You're talking too plain sir,&mdash;it's
going too far,&mdash;if you expose yourself like that I'll go to the
street-door." I'm at a loss to know why I pitched upon six pounds, I had
intended ten, but cannot tell why I offered that particular sum. I have
often thought since, of what made me take that economical figure.
</p>
<p>
"Sit down." "I won't if you expose yourself,&mdash;it's not gentlemanlike." I
put my cock into my trousers, then kissed her again, resistance was not
so strong. "Now sir don't." "Sit down my darling,"&mdash;and getting her to
the sofa we went on talking. "How foolish,&mdash;who would know,&mdash;why not
delight me,&mdash;why not take the money." "No." "Do now." "No." "Won't you?"
"Of course not,&mdash;no,&mdash;no." "Well kiss me." "There then." "Do let me
dear." "I won't,&mdash;I won't,&mdash;I shan't,&mdash;there."
</p>
<p>
Just then I noticed one of her garters was hanging down by her foot.
"Your garter's undone," said I. I stooped forwards, and took it up.
"Give it me." I kissed it. "No,&mdash;it's been so near where I want to go,
&mdash;I shall keep it till I've been there." "You will keep it a long time
then."
</p>
<p>
She drank more ale, it was sweet and strong, and I went on talking.
Thought I, "She must want it if she has not seen her husband for a
week." Where did she garter.&mdash;below or above knee? "Let me feel?" I felt
outside, then pinched the leg, then higher up. She began looking me full
in the face, and laughing at my smutty insinuations. I pulled her back
on the sofa, kissed her, and let her rise up again. I repeated the pull
and the kiss more than once, and then as she was rising up and saying,
"Now don't pull me about like that," I put her hand on my prick which
I had slipped out again. "Oh!"&mdash;and she let it go. Quick as lightning
I slipped a hand up her clothes to her cunt. "Let me now,&mdash;there's a
darling." "I shan't." "Do." "I shan't." She repulsed my hand, but did
not get away from me. I thought from the way she looked at me, and the
quiet manner in which she pushed away my hand, that she was hot with
lust, and could scarcely refuse me. I pulled her to me, and got my
finger on her clitoris. "Do let me feel your cunt, and fuck,&mdash;put my
prick in there,&mdash;let us,&mdash;do darling," said I twiddling like mad, and
rattling out a volume of baudiness.
</p>
<p>
She bore it all for a minute quietly, wriggling and saying, "I
shan't,&mdash;I won't,&mdash;no, now take your hand away." Then with a sudden
impulse she pushed me off, got up, and sat down further from me on the
sofa. "Oh! now be quiet,&mdash;let me think a minute,&mdash;I don't know whether
I'm on my heels or my head." She picked up something which had fallen at
her feet, as she had doubled herself down when my finger was stimulating
her randiness.
</p>
<p>
Then catching her by her waist I pulled her back on to the sofa, and
threw myself on her. "You shan't" were the last words I recollect her
uttering; as I threw up her clothes and felt the wet gash. My prick the
next instant was buried in it, and we were fucking.
</p>
<p>
"Don't,&mdash;oh.&mdash;take it out,&mdash;do,&mdash;oh!&mdash;oh!&mdash;ohoe!" she murmured. She
had fetched me, and pump; pump, pump, pump, went my spunk up her. Then
delicious oblivion. As I came to myself I found her arse still moving.
"Oh! do" she murmured. She was besides herself, with desire to spend.
</p>
<p>
But my prick instead of obeying me as it usually did on such exciting
occasions, refused, and shrinking left her cunt, to my intense vexation.
"I haven't done it," said she softly, and with disappointment as her bum
ceased its labors, and my tool lay droopping outside her quim.
</p>
<p>
We spoke no more, but I lay trying to squeeze it up again. To stiffen it
I felt up and round her, rubbed the tip on her spermy nymphoe, she made
gentle efforts to second me, but it was of no use, so I rolled off.
She sat up, and after looking at me for a minute with eyes filled with
baudiness, began like all women, to feel if her hair was all right.
"Were you just coming my dear?" She made no reply.
</p>
<p>
She had not taken any care to arrange her dress, it had dragged up
behind her bum, and the petticoats were up to her knees, the leg which
had lost its garter was half naked. Taking her round the waist I put my
hand on to her cunt, and titillated the clitoris. She let me go on,
and continued feeling about her hair. Then looking me full in the
face, looking as if she were ready to spend, she pushed me away.
"Don't,&mdash;don't,&mdash;I don't like it done that way." "You can do it that
way yourself, can't you?" "Of course I can." "I shall soon fuck again."
"Oh! I dare say," and she walked to the looking-glass, then went to the
window, and looked out into the garden without paying any heed to my
exciting remarks. I sat on the sofa feeling my cock, and trying to
stiffen it, but it was useless; so I tried to interest her in something
else, feeling annoyed, though I had nothing to be ashamed of.
</p>
<a name="2HCH0023"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div>
<h2>
CHAPTER XXIII.
</h2>
<pre>
Jenny's bed-room.&mdash;The money hid.&mdash;On the bed.&mdash;Fears of
maternity.&mdash;Inspection of sex.&mdash;The use of a husband.&mdash;
Another Sunday.&mdash;Regrets and refusal.&mdash;Resistance overcome.&mdash;
Jenny's ignorance.&mdash;Her Master returns.&mdash;Difficulty in
getting at Jenny.&mdash;Her sister waylaid.&mdash;Against a fence.&mdash;
Jenny's marriage, and rise in life.
</pre>
<p>
"Why don't you take the money?" said I. "You really mean it?" "Of
course." She took it up. "It's a real God-send,&mdash;it comes just in
time,&mdash;who'd have thought it?" said she as if to herself. "I must put
it where it can't be found, and take it home to-morrow." She went to
the door. "Aren't you going?" "No I'm going to do it again soon." "But
you're not." "But I am." Without reply she went upstairs. I had meant to
have ready a stiff-stander, when she came back, but changed my mind, and
followed her. She was nearly at the top when hearing me she waited, and
said, "What do you want?"
</p>
<p>
"I'm coming to see what you do." "You won't." "I will." "I'll come down
and wait till you are gone." "I'll stop till your sister comes home."
"Do go down sir," said she in a coaxing tone. "No." She sat down on the
top-stairs, I did the same a few stairs below her. Her knees were wide
apart, my mind went to the afternoon when I had seen her naked. That
glorious two hours. I stared in a voluptuous reverie, her cunt was as
visible to me through her clothes, as if she were naked, and my cock
began to swell. I stared on without uttering a word.
</p>
<p>
"What are you staring at?" said she at last, "go down, and I'll be down
in a minute." "I'm looking at your cunt, it's open slightly, I can see
my spunk in it." "Oh!" said she jumping up, "I never heard such a man in
my life." (She had the gold still in her hand.) "You have upset me so,
I don't know what I am about." She then turned her bum round towards
me, and I put my hand quickly up her clothes, as she went up the stairs.
"Oh! you frighten me so I don't know what I'm doing." I followed her
into the room, and she locked up the money in a bag that was in a
drawer. Turning round she saw my prick out, and as stiff as ever. It was
the recollection of what had taken place in that room on the Saturday
week previous, which had rendered me capable again. I closed on her,
kissing and inciting her, pulled her to the bed, and began feeling
her. "I don't like that done,&mdash;you know you can't,&mdash;leave me alone,&mdash;go
down,&mdash;oh! don't."
</p>
<p>
I coaxed her for a second. She got on to the bed, and opened her thighs
wide like a well-trained fuckster to help me, I inserted my penis, and
she met me with passion. I was not so rapid, the want of a spend was
not now overpowering my senses; whilst she had had two hours baudy talk,
been fucked, but cheated of her pleasure, and been left at the critical
moment, unsatisfied, with my spunk in her. She was dying for a spend,
wanting it like a woman who has been for a week unsatisfied. Her cunt
was hungry for prick, throbbing and tightening to pour out it's amatory
juices, her backside's movements became quick and fierce.
"Oh! it's big," she gasped whilst I was still sensible,
"oh!&mdash;I'm&mdash;com&mdash;coming,"&mdash;and gluing her mouth to mine she spent
copiously ere I'd well nigh began to feel the full urging of lust.
</p>
<p>
The constriction of her cunt, the delight of feeling her pleasure
increased my stiffness. "Let me wash,&mdash;do." "You won't come on the bed
again." "Yes I will, but let me wash." I clutched her like a vise. "NO
I'm coming,&mdash;you'll spend again." My prick stiffer and stiffer drove
with fury up against her womb. "Oh! don't push so hard." "Fuck my
darling,&mdash;there,&mdash;the tip's only in,&mdash;it's in your spunk, and mine
together." "Oh! you hurt." On I drove. Her backside's play began, her
lips were glued to mine, our tongues played against each other, and we
spent together with ejaculations. "Oh!&mdash;don't,&mdash;you hurt,&mdash;oh! oh!&mdash;I'm
coming." Then we lay palpitating, my prick throbbing and soaking, her
cunt squeezing and sucking.
</p>
<p>
"Let me get up,&mdash;let me wash,&mdash;pray do." I laid on her heavy, nestled my
balls up to her arse, held her as long as I could; but uncunting me she
got off the bed, and washed her cunt. I still lay playing with my prick.
"You'll have a child this day nine months my dear." "Oh! my God don't
say so,&mdash;but I believe I shall." "You are all right, I don't get them
you know." "Have you never had any children!" "None at home." "Oh!
that's nothing,&mdash;have you any out, for you are a gay man?"
</p>
<p>
I got up to piss, and saw my thick sperm in the basin. "You've washed it
all out my dear,&mdash;you are safe." She shook her head. "This is a
strange business," she remarked, "I scarce know where I am,&mdash;what I'm
about,&mdash;it's impossible,"&mdash;and she stood staring at me playing with my
cock. Then she went to the drawer and looked at the money, as if she
doubted its being there. "It's a fact," she said locking it up again,
"are you not going down?" "No." "I wish you would,&mdash;I want to be by
myself." "You want to piddle." "You are a strange man," and taking the
pot she pissed. "You'd better empty all," said I, "if your sister Jenny
comes back and sees it, she will think your husband's been doing it
to you." "She won't think or know anything if she does see," said Mrs.
&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;"Well I declare I'm a talking to you just like my husband,&mdash;I
don't seem to know whether I am on my head or my heels."
</p>
<p>
"Church must be over,&mdash;Jenny has not come back." "She won't be back till
nine o'clock, she is out with her young man." "Oh! not at church?" "No
I told you so because Mrs. W&mdash;&mdash;-told her not to go out on Sunday;&mdash;but
you won't tell?" "Of course not my dear, I dare say Jenny and her
young man have done what we have been doing." "Lord sir, he is a
most respectable young man, and far above her,&mdash;they are going to be
married,&mdash;she is lucky, luckier than I am,&mdash;she'd knock his head off
if he laid hand upon her improperly,&mdash;that she would, she! Lor bless
you,"&mdash;and Mrs. &mdash;&mdash;&mdash; laughed with incredulity. I laughed also. "Ah!
she looks a quiet young woman." "So she is, and so is he,&mdash;his family is
well off,"&mdash;and then she told me all that Jenny had told me.
</p>
<p>
"I wish you would let me make the bed." "I'm going to have you again."
"Oh! likely." "I am." "No you're not,&mdash;please go." "No." "Then I shall
go downstairs," "Go my dear." She took me at my word, her manner had
quite changed, she had been laughing and chaffing, she had blushed,
looked at me with fun and lust in her eyes, and at last with full open
eyes one moment, followed by the half-dosed eye and languishing manner
of a randy woman. Now she was quiet, almost sullen, and if she looked at
me her eyes fell directly, the randiness had been taken out of her. "I
must rouse it up well if I am to have her again," said I, to myself as I
lay thinking about her, and the delicious sight I had seen in that room,
the sight I never dare disclose to her,&mdash;but how I longed to tell her.
</p>
<p>
Up she came looking glum. "Are you not going?" "No." "Let me make the
bed then." "Not until I have had you again." "Then it will go unmade."
"That won't matter to me." "But it will to me,&mdash;what will my sister say
if she sees the bed's been laid upon like that?" "Perhaps she will think
a man has been with you." "Well you take it mighty cool,&mdash;I do
hope you're going." "Not till I've had you." "Now you are a talking
nonsense,&mdash;you know you can't do it," said she with an incredulous look,
and the tone of a woman who knew what a prick could do and what not.
"Look at this," I uncovered my prick which was nearly at a full-stand.
She smiled when she saw it. "Nonsense I am ashamed." "My dear I'm proud,
and not ashamed,&mdash;come." "I shan't." "Then here I'll lay,"&mdash;and I fell
back, and pulled balls and cod well out of my trousers.
</p>
<p>
I had always a lust stirring tongue, fifty women have told me so. "You'd
talk any women randy," said a gay woman once to me. Brighton Bessie
said, that in five minutes I could talk her into a lewd state. Others
have given me similar compliments. I was not specially conscious of that
power that I recollect, but instinctively used it when I had got over
fits of modesty, which sometimes prevented my uttering even veiled
allusions for a time.
</p>
<p>
Mrs. &mdash;&mdash;&mdash; like Jenny was easily flattered. What lovely limbs she had
I said; had she much hair on her cunt? my excitement had prevented me
feeling or seeing it. "Come and let me feel,&mdash;let me look." She colored
and blushed, and at every lascivious remark, "Oh! I never,&mdash;no I never
did,&mdash;oh!" Then she again went to the drawer where the money was,
looked in it as if to make sure it was there, and locked the drawer now.
"Mine's bigger than your husband's, isn't it?" "Well if I ever heard
such remarks." "You said it was big when it was up you." "Oh! you
story." "You did my dear, you said when you were just coming, 'Oh! it's
big.'" "I didn't." "<i>Yes you did</i>, you know you did,&mdash;look how stiff it
is now,&mdash;come." "I won't."
</p>
<p>
I moved off the bed, caught her, and pushed her against the side of the
bed. "Let's see your cunt." "You shan't." "How foolish,&mdash;I've fucked it
twice,&mdash;let me feel it, and you feel my cock,&mdash;let me look at it,&mdash;I'm
sure it's lovely." She got on to the bed after a little resistance, took
my pego in her fist, and I got my fingers in her crack. "A delicious
fuck you are,"&mdash;then she let me pull up her clothes and look. "My
God what a lovely cunt,&mdash;how deliciously you join your wet lips to
mine,&mdash;how you move,&mdash;I shall never forget it to the last moment of
my life,&mdash;oh! let me." "I musn't,&mdash;I would, but I'm frightened." "How
foolish,&mdash;it's not an hour since my prick was in you,&mdash;what is the harm
of doing it another time?" "Will you go then?" "Yes." Gently Mrs.&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
opened her thighs. Our backsides were soon at the short wriggles. "It's
big, isn't it?" "Oh! don't," said she, "I shall spend." My remark,
tallying perhaps with something which was passing in her own mind
fetched her, and me with her instantly.
</p>
<p>
When it was over I would not go. "No I'll do it again." "That's
nonsense," said she, "you know you can't, even if you try, and you're
only making me anxious." We laid side by side talking, for she liked
the subject. I had a most buttock-stirring letch on me, and to her
astonishment in about an hour I produced another stiff one. One
persuasion is very much like another with the same woman; each time I
had less difficulty, for she liked the poking. Dusk was coming on, she
got lights, she fetched some liquor, and after the liquor I got her to
lay on the sofa (for we then had gone downstairs), and on pretence
of kissing her quim I got her to open her thighs wide, and saw in the
twilight what I had seen before, large and ugly inner-lips. For all that
I fucked her again, after frigging myself up gently to stiffness, and
fucked as if it was the last bout with a woman I was ever going to have.
Then I left at her earnest entreaties before her sister returned. I had
been there six hours.
</p>
<p>
I called on Jenny next day. She was in a way. Her sister directly she
had returned home said she must go and see her husband; and spite of
Jenny's entreaties not to leave her alone, had gone and never returned
all night. Jenny could not make out the reason, but thought that she
went away expecting to find her husband with a woman. She returned to
sleep as usual on the Monday night with Jenny, I found subsequently.
</p>
<p>
That day I went off without poking Jenny, and slunk away ashamed. I
was done up with poking her sister. Jenny seemed astonished, but said
nothing.
</p>
<p>
Afterwards I got out of Jenny cautiously all I wanted to know about her
sister. The result was, that finding on the next Sunday fortnight, Jenny
was again going out with her young man, and the sister again would be
left in the house, I went there. The woman's astonishment was great, and
I believe she was genuinely distressed at seeing me. I attacked her for
a time fruitlessly, she would not move from the street-door. "Did you
not swear when I let you do it the last time, you would never come near
me again, and never tell any one?" said she.
</p>
<p>
I could not deny it, had great difficulty with her, and thought I never
should succeed. For full an hour with her back against the wall of the
passage did she stand, refusing to move. I pulled up her clothes, felt
her cunt, knelt on the mat, got my head up her petticoats, my nose on
her motte, my mouth on her thighs and cunt, my hand round her marbly
buttocks, and held her kissing, sniffing, and groping my fingers between
her bum-cheeks, and the red orifice which I wanted to plug. In her
struggles to prevent me she once nearly fell, but she got away.
</p>
<p>
But what woman who has been fucked by a man could withstand an hour's
persistent feeling, cunt-kissing, baudy talk, and beseeching. I
conquered, and fucked her on the sofa. She did not rush out to wash her
cunt as she had done at our first meeting, there was no water near. I
had her again and again. At each assault when the pleasure overtook her,
she had the same mouth-sucking and arse-wagging. When our love-making
was over, I gave her two pounds. I had offered it her before in the
passage, but she had knocked it out of my hand. When she took it she
said, "Ah! it's an awful thing to be poor!" I shall tell of another
woman who made the same excuse to herself for getting her lust
satisfied, or yielding.
</p>
<p>
That satisfied me, and I never had her again in the house. A letch for
her came again about two months afterwards,&mdash;why? God only knows, for
then at times I was having her sister, another woman, Louisa Fisher,
and lastly Sarah Mavis. The old couple had returned, Jenny had a
fellow-servant; I could only get a poke up her with difficulty on the
Sundays, which her young man did not see her. I took her to a baudy
house for an hour or so, then she went to church, and heard the text,
because her Mistress always asked her what the text was when she went
home. It was a supposition that she went to church on a Sunday.
</p>
<p>
I knew where Jenny's sister lived, and the place where she worked. It
was now dark about six o'clock. I waylaid her on her way home on the
high-road which was well lighted and full of people. I walked with her,
but she prayed me not to do so, for her husband came partly the same
road, and sometimes met her. What would happen if he met her with a
swell walking by her side. I could not persuade her to go to a house.
No,&mdash;she was not a loose woman, though she knew what she had done,&mdash;I
had done her more harm than I had any idea of, already,&mdash;why injure
her?
</p>
<p>
The more she objected, the more I longed for her. At last under solemn
promise that I would go away after, we turned up a short street leading
into a lane by garden-grounds, and there up a fence I fucked her. Away
she went, and I never saw her afterwards to speak to, though I have
passed her without taking notice. I think that in that parting fuck I
had all the pleasure, she none.
</p>
<p>
Jenny's Mistress had been taken ill at the seaside, and kept there a
month longer than was intended. Owing to this my complete enjoyment of
Jenny's charms was prolonged, and to that I owed the second Sunday's
fucking of Jenny's sister. Old Mr. W&mdash;&mdash;- came up to London twice, and
once nearly caught me in the house. I had written to say I had called
at their home, and had never found their servant out. The lady wrote to
thank me, and in writing to my mother, said how much obliged they were
for my calling; but my wife said she thought the servant (Jenny) was a
sly sort of minx, and wondered how they could be so foolish as to leave
her in the house by herself.
</p>
<p>
When they came to town I was for a time very intimate with them, which
pleased them much. Jenny used to let me out at the garden-gate, and
leave the gate unlocked. Instead of going away, I used to hide in the
shrubs, Jenny would come back, close the street-door ajar, and a few
minutes afterwards come out again very quietly. Then up against an
ivy covered wall we poked, and she went indoors with wetted privates.
Sometimes after waiting I had to go away unsatisfied, she not appearing,
sometimes rain prevented us,&mdash;all of which was very annoying.
</p>
<p>
Fucking her in fact became a matter of anxiety. She had to dodge her
fellow-servant as well as her Master and Mistress, and we copulated in
fear and trembling. In the midst of the work she has left me because
of some scare; once she went off saying, "Oh! there is Missus' bell
ringing,&mdash;oh!"&mdash;and uncunting me, off she ran. One night we went on
to the flower-beds between two large trees, and the next day the old
gentleman remarked that some man had got over the wall into his garden,
and he should tell the police. If there was moonlight we were done. One
night latish she was sent to fetch some butter. I waited, and we fucked
up against some palings. Unfortunately the butter was let fall out of
the basket on to the gravel. We went back for more, but the shop was
then shut, so she had to take home the dirty butter, and make the best
story she could about it. On Sundays when at the baudy house, the girl
was awfully frightened lest she should be seen, and we used to walk
there on opposite sides of the way, I going in first. Then we went away
with similar precautions,&mdash;but I began to get very tired of this, having
indeed had enough of her.
</p>
<p>
Jenny had lost all fear of being in the family way, and poked freely,
but she never ceased bewailing her poor young man; though at length my
tool had become to her a thing to be longed for. The young man had money
left him, quitted his place, and Jenny left to be married. I heard of
them for many years afterwards, they opened a shop, then a larger one,
and so on, till at length he became (I found this quite recently) the
mayor of the town,&mdash;if not it was some one of the same name, and in the
same line of business. He was much respected, and Jenny his wife was
equally so. They had no children up to the time when the old lady her
former Mistress, died; and for aught I know they may still be living in
the town of&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;.
</p>
<p>
One night some time before she left her situation, we spoke of her
sister. "She is in the family way again," said she, "and in such a way
about it, and so is he,&mdash;the night she left me to sleep by myself, she
went home to her husband, because she suspected there was another
woman there;&mdash;well that night she declared he did not let his stuff go
outside,&mdash;he says he did,&mdash;they quarrel, he says it's her fault, and she
says it's his."
</p>
<p>
Then it seemed evident to me that after the heavy fucking I gave her
that day, that she feared being in the family way; so went home, and
incited her man to fuck her, and enable her to say that the child was
his, and of course it might have been, though it might have been mine.
</p>
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FINIS VOLUME THREE
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