{
    "1": {
        "text": "50 Car Pile-Up Results In New City Sculpture."
    },
    "2": {
        "text": "After 36 Years Of Marriage, Man Discovers Wife Is Actually A Rare Yucca Plant."
    },
    "3": {
        "text": "All Raccoons Cheat At Poker, Animal Researchers Say."
    },
    "4": {
        "text": "Pawprint News. Always there."
    },
    "5": {
        "text": "Cat Hijacks Municipal Bus; Riders Applaud Good Timing At Stops And Courteous Meows."
    },
    "6": {
        "text": "From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Check Your Facts Before Making A Fool Of Yourself."
    },
    "7": {
        "text": "Rumor Of Kitty Kibble Shortage Causes Futures To Drop; Consumers Stockpile."
    },
    "8": {
        "text": "From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: The Insides Of Golf Balls Are Mostly Rubber Bands."
    },
    "9": {
        "text": "Tommy B. Saif Sez: No Left Turn, Except Buses."
    },
    "10": {
        "text": "Truckload Of Apples Overturns, [city] Diner Offers Applesauce Special."
    },
    "11": {
        "text": "Ordinary Days In [city] Become Common."
    },
    "12": {
        "text": "Semicolon Declared Sexier Than Comma At Grammarian's Fete."
    },
    "13": {
        "text": "Spotted Owl Spotted."
    },
    "14": {
        "text": "This Space For Rent."
    }
}